I Pay $1200/month in Child Support

asoetnurlc · 2010-10-14T23:44:20+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. I hired lawyers. The retainer was $3,500. Today I got the monthly statement. In the past 4 weeks, they made an unsuccessful phone call to the state child services agency and left a message ($45) and then had a meeting with each other to discuss my case ($85). Those 2 items are all they did for the entire month.

The month before that, they tried to file some papers at the wrong courthouse ($200), and answered a few emails from me at $20 each.

Fuck lawyers.

runamok · 2010-10-14T19:31:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

modix · 2010-10-14T23:41:07+00:00

Much of you getting a default judgment will rely upon notification. Do your BEST to notify her. Do everything in your power, and give the judge no wiggle room to say that she wasn't notified. If done, your default will much more likely. "Do you know anyone that would have her current address?" "Why didn't you contact them?" These are the sorts of questions you're going to have to be able to answer.

Default judgment is not intended to punish those you can't find, just those that willfully do not show. They're getting rid of your ex's due process by doing so, so it's a touchy subject most judges admittedly should be quite reluctant to do.

You going to be doing an ex parte hearing? Are you required in court? Know what's expected of you. Be respectful and polite. Do not talk out of turn. The judge will be in charge of the process, not you.

So when they ask you whether or not you have tried to contact your ex, you want that laundry list of attempts that show you've done at least what was reasonable, and hopefully beyond that. Have a concise written statement explaining your attempts as well if they request it. A lawyer would help you know exactly what is expect, and I do recommend a quick phone counsel. If you are going pro se, try to look up on the website for your state what they need if you can find it, it should be stated somewhere.

KFCandPurpleDrank · 2010-10-14T22:03:28+00:00

I know nothing about these topics, but that isn't stopping anyone else, so...

Is there any benefit for her to not reply?

curomo · 2010-10-14T22:05:36+00:00

I live in % state, the AG says I should be paying 25% for my two kids, but I have time around 50% of the time, so that doesn't make much sense: I have similar housing, food, and clothing costs as my ex.

When we divorced I was paying a fixed number, which today is about 8% of my income. My ex is asking the AG for an increase, she says she doesn't need 25%, but more than she gets now (In addition to my direct support I also pay for insurance, medication, dentist, at least half of extra-circulars - about 26% of my income goes straight to my 2 girls): they are well taken care of with our current arraignment, but she doesn't have control of how enough of the money is spent.

Anyway to answer your question, I've gotten a lawyer... even in my case where I can show that I'm a stand up dad, it's been very helpful to have someone who has experience with what the judge is likely to say is "right".

Clockwork_Prophecy · 2010-10-14T23:46:17+00:00

Bundle the paperwork with the check. That's how my city got disability frauds to finally acknowledge receipt of the paperwork ordering them to get a new doctor's evaluation.

jongleur · 2010-10-14T19:22:37+00:00

Contact a lawyer, find out the laws in your state. It's worth the $$ you'll spend on a 1/2 hour consultation if it reduces that $1200/month child support by anything more than $5/month.

procian · 2010-10-15T01:01:59+00:00

Good luck , hope it works out! Let us know how it goes

2010-10-15T05:28:10+00:00

I've got a freind that hooked up with a "child support farmer". In other words, she has a child from each [rich] guy she meets, and immediately gets 20 percent of their income. If a second child is from the same father, the second support is cut dramatically (something like 5%, can;t remember). She now has 5 kids, and makes 100 percent of a rich guys income in addition to her own. She lives in a very nice house and doesn't make very much money at all. All her kids hate her.

cjcfm1000 · 2010-10-15T05:34:38+00:00

and?

wolfsktaag · 2010-10-14T23:27:38+00:00

track her down, kill her, keep the baby. it will be significantly cheaper in the long run

stillyourfullname · 2010-10-14T22:19:59+00:00

What will the default judgement offer? What I mean is, what information do they use and what do they use it for. I guess i'm trying to decide if they use a formula for this and if so, is that better than confirming her income. Is that what you're trying to decide?

Rockytriton · 2010-10-15T01:26:02+00:00

lawyer is going to have more personal experience from his clients than all these redditors

silvercreek · 2010-10-15T02:15:51+00:00

Dude most lawyers will give free consultation... we're all suggesting it for a reason...

And we're all with you; on your side. Good luck!

eltra27 · 2010-10-15T02:25:02+00:00

It could go either way in my opinion. You are really rolling the dice. If she does not need $400/mo and maybe only $300/mo then the financial affidavit would be perfect to show her income. However, the judge could easily determine based on what you can afford and what is due that $400/mo is adequate and you'd be kicking yourself if you got a financial affidavit and the judge determined the actual ruling to be $500/mo. So I'd go for the default judgement because it will probably put you in a good light if you have all the various attempts documented thoroughly.

My two cents...

Buckwyld · 2010-10-15T04:09:32+00:00

I have a friend paying his ex-girlfriend, who he had a baby with, $3500 a month. Now get this... she has continuously stayed in school, lives with boyfriends (many over time) who leech off her, and continues to be a party college girl at Humboldt State.

2010-10-15T08:18:22+00:00

sux bro.

2010-10-15T12:22:19+00:00

UPDATE 10/16 I decided to have someone I know pay one of those background services for her address. Lo and behold she is now hours away from me in a different state/city than I thought she was in. She did not notify me or the court about her change. Information is power.

My head is spinning.

DiggingNoMore · 2010-10-16T01:27:03+00:00

To anyone saying $1200/month isn't much, that's nearly double my gross, pre-tax monthly salary. $1200/month is outrageous to support a kid.

kragshot · 2010-10-16T09:06:01+00:00

I say this to any man who finds himself in an abusive child support situation: let yourself go into arrears to save money and leave the country.

Your life in the US is fucked forever, even if the child is over 18/21. If you go to jail, the prison time you'll serve will not relieve the debt. If they take all of your stuff, it still will not relieve the debt. In fact, there is nothing you will be able to do to relieve the debt.

If you can pay and remain relatively solvent, then stay, and do your best to have a relationship with your kids. But if you are in a hostile situation and losing everything, then you need to get out of the country before you become jailed. Because once you are jailed, you're in the system and you'll never be able to become truly financially solvent ever again (who gives convicted men real jobs that pay real money), and because you'll never get a real job, you'll just fall further into arrears. It's a vicious circle and you'll never get out.

lowspeed · 2010-10-15T00:59:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hdjunkie · 2010-10-14T22:49:06+00:00

So you think being a father means just paying the bills? You never see the child?

d-_-bstepRoller · 2010-10-15T07:25:27+00:00

My bio-father owes me $45,000 in backed child support. He found a loop hole by claiming manic depressant so that gives him an excuse to not work and be held responsible. His mother (he lives with also) pays me $20 a week to keep him out of jail. He practicaly has been stripped of his rights and is just "existing" because of this. I'd be depressed too if I owed almost 50k to someone, especially for backing out of there lives, beat there wife and kids and hid from society like a fucking cockroach. Just be happy your not him

HSMOM · 2010-10-14T21:09:24+00:00

I suggest setting up a trust fund for your child, with lots of investments that accrue interest, and then ask for modification. It's the best way to ensure your child will get your money instead of the mom using it for her benefit. I am NOT saying stopping paying child support every month, but drop it down to a reasonable level for being able to provide 1/2 the food, medical payments, clothes, school etc............

thetrollking · 2010-10-14T20:35:53+00:00

I second getting a lawyer. If you default they will probably charge you more as a tax, plus you could end up in jail or losing your drivers license. I am not a lawyer and it differs by state.

I am curious to how much parenting time you get per month.

WOuld you mind breaking down you baby sitting time by cost per hour for any guy with out children? I worked with one guy who told me he paid over 100$ an hour to baby sit or parent his child.

Title	I Pay $1200/month in Child Support
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	47
Comments	111
Date	October 14, 2010 6:47 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/dra1t/i_pay_1200month_in_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-pay-1200month-in-child-support.1046866 https://theredarchive.com/post/1046866

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