Why there are so few dominant/provider women?

MistyMaisel · 2024-06-19T15:49:51+00:00

Most women don't wanna be a provider.

Most women don't wanna be a dommy mommy.

The ones who do rarely desire a short frail man. They're still gonna want a hot strong dude, they just wanna boss his ass around.

Being a feminist doesn't mean wanting a submissive leech. It doesn't even mean being against gender roles. It means being against people not having a choice in their gender roles or society enforcing said gender roles.

Those women only exist there because they're created by men like yourself. They aren't created by women. That should tell you something.

And look, you're free to keep your standards and I hope you find her. But I would heavily recommend introspecting some about why you want this sort of relationship, this sort of woman, etc. What does it represent you that you don't feel real life is providing?

bluepvtstorm · 2024-06-19T11:38:03+00:00

You may need to be BDSM spaces but even then there is a significant amount of things that you may have to be willing to accept to live that dynamic.

Dominant women do exist but the ask is still going to be the same. You are going to have to completely upend anything you think you know about being home and being submissive.

You are seeking a dynamic that doesn’t exist completely in the vanilla world.

ohdiddly · 2024-06-19T02:28:12+00:00

I’m a provider woman but I don’t automatically view a stay at home husband/dad as a submissive role. I just make way more money so it makes sense for me to be the primary financial provider while he takes on more household chores.

I don’t think that’s inherently submissive; household work and child rearing is just unpaid labour. It’s just as important, if not more, than being the breadwinner.

You just want a woman who’s the breadwinner, which is already harder to find because women tend to make less money than men.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-06-18T22:53:34+00:00

I'm short and frail and i like the type of women who act assertive/who will desire me and love me but that women seem to exist only in anime/movies

yes, you have now brainwashed yourself into an unrealistic nonsense desire that barely exists on the planet earth because of unrealistic anime. good luck with that

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-06-19T00:43:07+00:00

You don’t have to pay or “work” but you DO have to be useful. Those women who are propping up men ? They have some traits that the woman loves about them and wants to “fix them” or don’t want to “let them go.”

Tell us op, why should a strong woman invest in you outside of existing ? Would you invest in you if you were looking in the 3rd person? No ? Figure out how to make someone see you as valuable and you may have a chance, but what you are looking for is very uncommon in today’s times.

sublimemongrel · 2024-06-19T00:53:05+00:00

I’m a breadwinner woman I would still never want a “house husband” I don’t want the pressure of being the sole provider that’s too much in today’s economy especially. I also would never expect a man to be that for me.

Setting that aside, dominant men are more attractive than submissive men, generally speaking, so you’re probably going to have less women who are interested in that.

I also question how many men would genuinely want a “homeless woman” who won’t work/provides no financial support whatsoever. Yeah maybe some, I doubt most would though.

bloblikeseacreature · 2024-06-19T11:17:18+00:00

you're looking for a paradox, obviously it doesn't exist.

the men who take in the most vulnerable women do so for a reason. women with other options avoid that fate for a reason. obviously the man gets something out of it that not a lot of women are willing to give. what is happening there is NOT a sub woman's fantasy that a dom man is fulfilling.

a woman who is in a strong position to do whatever she wants with her life with many good options at her reach is not going to want to become mommy gf. that's men's fantasy, not women's. why would a woman who can have anything she wants choose to burden and inconvenience herself?

operation-spot · 2024-06-19T18:45:18+00:00

I would identify as an intersectional feminist but I just don’t believe in anyone staying home so I have no interest in me or anyone else staying home. I don’t care if someone does that in their relationship but it’s just not what I’m looking for. I believe that my partner should be educated and making money just like I am since I have financial goals that are easier to reach with two people working.

If you aren’t working what are you contributing? In the cases you’ve mentioned the women are mostly very attractive, sexual, nurturing, and make the man feel more masculine. I think for those people, having a wife at home is a sort of kink because it makes them feel like they’ve “made it” but I don’t think women feel the same way.

I’m not saying it’s impossible but what you’ve described sounds like more of a kink than anything else.

DamagedByPessimism · 2024-06-20T03:49:07+00:00

Are we talking about the same reality? I read at least one post a week on this app, about women being either the only one employed (while he sits his arse playing video games) or making more (supporting him through his career).

And, YES, women being employed, doing the chores and caring for the kids, IS being the provider in modern terme. Through this POV, many women are

just_a_place · 2024-06-19T04:44:43+00:00

Because women make the babies and that is biologically taxing which is why our species' best reproductive strategy was for men to do all the physical "providing," and thus became physically bigger, while women, having smaller bodies, remained more suitable - biologically - for the practice of birthing. A smaller body needs less calories, calories that can be better used for growing a baby. Men being more physically robust can do the job of protecting women when they are pregnant and vulnerably and be physically durable enough to do the labor required to bring in enough calories and supplies to feed both himself and a very hungry and pregnant woman - and then the baby (or babies) for many years to come.

These "Dominant/Provider" women would be at a severe disadvantage in a world full of males who have evolved for eons to be competitive for resources, which is what we see even today where despite efforts to "equalize" everything, men still cannot shake off that instinct to be the best.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-06-19T00:57:55+00:00

If you’re hot enough and sex game is A1, trust me there’s a woman who will provide for you.

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egalitarian-flan · 2024-06-19T09:23:04+00:00

I'm a submissive men and my whole life i tried to find a women who will be ok with me to be a house husband, but i can't seem to find them.

Why do you want to be a househusband? Is it because you want to remain home with your children, or because you prefer doing remote/work from home jobs, or because you just don't want to work at all? I know some women who'd be cool with their man saying option 1 or 2 (I'm one of them) but I don't personally know any man or woman who is fine with their partner not working.

Meanwhile many men will accept a homeless women if she looks good enough and is able to love the guy.

Yeah...no. There's a minority of very wealthy men who are okay with their wife being an unemployed stay-at-home mom, but the overwhelming majority of men aren't in any kind of financial position to allow their wife to straight up not contribute income. And no, the overwhelming majority of men wouldn't wife up a random woman literally off the street...that's not realistic or safe at all.

I'm short and frail and i like the type of women who act assertive/who will desire me and love me but that women seem to exist only in anime/movies

You don't have to be short and frail to enjoy having a partner who cares for you and is more assertive, organized, and initiative. I'm that way with my bf and he's anything but frail. It's also very normal to want a partner who desires you, and most healthy relationships have that going on.

Not even the feminist type of girls who are against gender roles, not even them want a submissive men who doesn't want to work.

Probably because they can't afford it in modern times. For most of us the dream of the one income household died in the 1970s.

Call me a parasite or useless but if the condition to be loved is to pay/work for the love i don't want to participate.

If that's the way you view contributing income towards your shared household, then are you saying your potential wife has to fulfill the condition of pay/work for you to love her?

Lanaglu · 2024-06-19T10:36:33+00:00

In the bedroom there are much less women who are attracted to submissive men. They do exist but there just isn't as many sexually dominant women as submissive men.

House husbands? this I'm less sure on, but again it's unusual so going to limit your options out there.

Women and men on average have different preferences. To what extend is this because of societal expectations vs biology? We don't know.

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-06-19T14:28:26+00:00

Im a dominant woman, but only date other women

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2024-06-20T00:55:40+00:00

You're fishing in the wrong pond. If you want to find women like this you have to go down the kink rabbit hole.

apresonly · 2024-06-21T23:41:49+00:00

men aren't worth that much energy

you have to really, really want someone in order to dominate and provide for them, which is why women find it so attractive when men do it

but yeah, its rare for someone to want to do that for you and much, much, much rarer for a woman to want to do that for a man

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-06-18T23:00:33+00:00

Because women are designed, physically and mentally, to take from men. The "dominant woman" (an oxymoron) is a projected fantasy, imagining his pmwill to provision returned from his partner.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-06-19T03:37:12+00:00

Simple reasons:

Being a sole provider is very hard work, and
Women are socially permitted to opt out of being sole providers, whereas men are expected to be sole providers if she wants a sole provider

It really isn't more complicated than this.

Salt_Alternative_86 · 2024-06-19T04:29:56+00:00

Because you're a human, not a spider. Sexual dimorphism in our species has built countless millennia of evolutionary psychology into men and women built around men being pumped full of steroids and women being pumped full of babies that swell their stomachs in ways that make them incapable of self provision and defense. Genetically, you were designed to carry experimental mutations, die if those were bad, live and breed while providing if they were good, and then die anyway after the cycle was started over with the next generation. However, humans also developed a sense of humanity beyond baseline biological programming, so now you're fucked longing for something nature was never designed to provide you.

LapazGracie · 2024-06-18T23:44:20+00:00

Biology.

Males are the providers. We are stronger, faster, more endurant, more aggressive, more competitive etc etc etc.

The difference probably started out due to pregnancy. Then over 1000s of generations (even before we were humans) got solidified into this relationship where the male provides for the pair bond and the female nurtures the young.

Doesn't mean that females are not capable of providing. They are actually quite capable as well. Just not as good at the tasks that require brute force.

Our sexual behavior also evolved alongside it. Males tend to prefer more feminine females. Females prefer more dominant stronger males. On average of course. Human race is quite varied you can find all sorts of outliers.

bifewova234 · 2024-06-19T04:38:00+00:00

Hunch: I think hollywood and advertising have kept making this "girl power" message and it cause men to sexualize that sort of woman, but those women dont really exist so much. I mean theyre out there but not so common and this cause a supply/demand imbalance where theres too many men who want that sort of woman and not enough of them to meet the demand.

Dorianitopern · 2024-06-19T08:04:42+00:00

Being a sole provider is very stressful. Been there done that. I cant really resonate with women who want to be fully provided, but I also cant resonate with the men who are eager to accept that job. I dont want to provide for a full grown adult nor do I want to be his mom.. I want to be smth in the middle, but if I had to choose between the extremes and being single were out of the question probably Id choose being a sole provider, at least you know that youre not the only being under the financial mercy of another person. But also Im the one who thinks that financial freedom is the most important aspect of one’s life. Were I fall in these circumstances, Id probably off myself or tank into a big depression.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-18T22:07:20+00:00

Because we're ostracised to oblivion for it and pressured to hide and change ourselves as most men don't like it. Many see a substabtial subversion of gender roles as a personal attack. Those who continue tend to not publicise it for their own good. (Also it's increasingly difficult and unrealistic in general to have one part of a couple not work at all.)

Title	Why there are so few dominant/provider women?
Author	LeaveAccomplished851
Upvotes	7
Comments	52
Date	June 18, 2024 12:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dipq4z/why_there_are_so_few_dominantprovider_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-there-are-so-few-dominantprovider-women.1521975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521975

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