What what I understand about how the words are used, toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny seem to be the same thing, expressed in different genders. When a man is dedicated to supporting strict gender roles on what it means to be a man, particularly ones about aggression and competition and inter-sex relations, it's toxic masculinity. When a women is dedicated to supporting strict gender roles on what it means to be a woman, especially ones about manners and looks/fashion and inter-sex relations, it's because of her 'internalized misogyny'.
I think this is a shame, because the entire point of the toxic masculinity movement is to make men aware of how their dedication to gender roles can actually hurt them in the long run, and I think this would be a lot easier to do if they changed the name to 'internalized misandry' instead. Toxic masculinity sounds like an aggressive, annoying attack on masculinity; and there's nothing genuinely toxic men like more than being masculine. Internalized misandry would get more traction, because it would highlight how this isn't some kind of 'masculinity = bad' movement, and instead focus on how these guys interpretation of masculinity is actually pretty hateful, and damn near 'anti-man'.
Got inspired to write this when I was talking to this guy I know, who is one of the few people I've met that I would be willing to label as having toxic masculinity. And I realized that, while his objectifying opinions on women were definitively misogyny, the more eye-opening thing was realizing that his opinions on men (in particular other men) sounded a lot like misandry. All this talk about 'loser betas', and 'little bitch boy nerds', and 'idiots in the gym juicing just to compete with him'; there was nothing this guy liked more than being masculine, and nothing he seemed to hate more than other men. And that hate reflects back onto him, because he can't do so many things without becoming a 'loser beta' or 'bitch boy nerd' himself. And I think a movement that told him he had 'internalized misandry', and specifically pointed out how his views fueled so much hate, instead of 'toxic masculinity', which just sounds like an attack on everything he holds dear, would be a lot better at changing his mind.
And as a side-note, a lot of people I know picked up a bunch of their political beliefs in high school. Feminism already has a bit of a internet/mainstream reputation for hating men (straight white dudes in particular), and I feel like calling it toxic masculinity only supports that opinion, and pushes more high school aged boys from feminism, resulting in less adult men willing to identify as feminists. It would benefit feminism a lot, I think, to give more men a reason to support it; and re-framing this movement as a way to help men, rather than an attack on manhood, would go a long way towards doing that.
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