Girls, If You're Physically Unavailable I'm Emotionally Unavailable

2015-01-02T04:03:07+00:00

Holy Shit I needed this. I didn't have the words for "physically unavailable, emotionally unavailable." Going through this right now with a girl. This sub is like the first gasp of air after having your head held underwater.

_social_caterpillar · 2015-01-02T01:03:43+00:00

This is something that is slowly sinking in for me. I have a right to be emotionally unavailable. Doing so does not make me a bad or mean person.

seattleron · 2015-01-02T00:31:38+00:00

In regards to the thread title: on point.

I've been saying for years, when a woman won't have sex with a man, it's like a man who won't talk to a woman. It's a foundational need not being met and it sucks. Don't give me this "I'm not in the mood" or "I have a headache" bullshit. Guess what, how many fucking times have you blabbered on about some dumb fucking thing that happened at work that day, or were telling me about plans for the living room wallpaper, and I - for the love of all things good in the world - would rather have a 12 gauge shotgun put under my nose and the trigger pulled. In fact, I NEVER fuckinb feel like hearing or talking about dumbass mundane shit like that, but I do it, your communication and emotional needs are met, and you go about your day.

Guess what, when you aren't available physically, it would be just like me not speaking, listening, and communicating with you. Straight freeze out. I walk by you in the kitchen like you don't exist every day. You question everything about yourself, our relationship, and wonder 24/7 why I won't speak to you when I know it hurts you so much and you need it.

That's the fucking truth dumbass BP feminist men, and women who withdraw sex to gain power in a relationship, won't tell you.

UncharminglyWitty · 2015-01-02T02:55:42+00:00

Side note: dude's hat game is hilarious and on point

X346 · 2015-01-02T01:29:10+00:00

There are two kinds of men to women: Those they want to fuck (alpha guys) and those that they consider "husband material" (a beta providers), who they consider physically/sexually unattractive or only very marginally attractive. I believe that women are only really attracted physically/sexually to a very small fraction of the male population.

Many woman will make a man earn and qualify for something (sex) that she was giving away for free with glee in college to the more physically attractive (alpha) guys, while ignoring the lonely beta guys and being mean to them. It amazes me that many women will choose to marry a man that they are physically/sexually not attracted to merely because he can be a good provider. This is why there are so many divorces and sexless marriages - the women were never into their men to begin with, he was just an appliance, whose sole purpose is to provide for her financially, and maybe as a sperm donor. I think that women who do this are pathetic. If a woman truly loved a man, wouldn't she want to give him the best years of her life when she was young, nubile and pretty?

bsutansalt · 2015-01-02T06:02:39+00:00

Boy did this sound familiar, especially the bit where the girls started treating him differently as soon as he withdrew his interest when they made it clear they were off the market:

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/sex-and-control-how-men-get-screwed-by-emotionally-abusive-women/

2.. The withholding welcher. Alternately, an emotionally abusive, NPD/BPD woman lures you into a relationship with the unspoken promise of passionate sex once you’ve “proven” yourself and she “feels” she can “trust you.” Alexander Lowen, M.D. explains this kind of seduction as “a false statement or promise to get another person to do what he or she would not otherwise do. The promise can be explicitly stated, or it can be implied. Psychopathic swindlers openly promise something they have no intention of giving. But most seductive ploys involve promises that are not clearly stated” (Narcissism: Denial of the True Self, p. 102).

This is a trap because the passionate sex never materializes. You have to keep proving yourself “worthy” of her and, as many of my readers know, nothing is ever enough for these women. You can never be nice enough, do enough or meet any of her other ill-defined, diffuse, shifting rules and requirements enough for her to “reward” you with sex. Sex is a chore for this woman, an obligation or a “favor” she begrudgingly bestows with growing infrequency and ultimately becomes a transaction.

A transactional relationship is one in which person A provides a service in exchange for person B providing a service. Prostitution is a kind of transactional relationship and so is sex with this kind of NPD/BPD woman. In other words, if you want to get laid, then you have to give her something she wants or behave how she wants you to behave. This is another way she controls you.

There’s always an agenda, even if it’s having sex so you won’t end the relationship. It’s still a transaction. “You owe me because I let you have sex with me. I did my ‘duty,’ so now you can’t leave.” Most men are so grateful for even the smallest scrap of affection that they ignore the perfunctory and disinterested way in which their wife or girlfriend treats sex. Like a man who’s been wandering through the desert views a thimble full of water; you’re grateful for what little you get.

No matter the scenario, you’re not her beloved, equal partner; you’re either a to-do list item, a human vibrator, and/or a way for her to feel like she’s still “got it.”

2015-01-02T05:26:12+00:00

The old me would have disagreed with this video but im starting to taste the red pill and finally realise where I've been going wrong so. 10/10 for this vid. I'm trying not to fall for this shit anymore.

SQQQ · 2015-01-02T14:46:02+00:00

yup. if she wants some emotional enjoyment i'm gonna ask for physical enjoyment.

NoHarmNoCry · 2015-01-02T09:43:12+00:00

I work in the hospitality industry, and experience much the same thing. The assistant manager is always yammering at everyone, "Smile and say hi and be nice to guests, it doesn't cost anything!"

I don't have a problem with that. That's what we're paid to do. That's fine. But stop being so damn facetious about it. It takes a toll on us. It's emotionally draining. It's not "free".

The part where he talked about our energy not being perpetual, and that we do feel drained after investing time and energy with people... that part resonated with me.

thereddespair · 2015-01-02T16:44:43+00:00

I like the video, and I always liked that thought - if they want something from you and is all there to take it, they should put out as well and give something you also need.

since the new year hit, Ive been thinking about that myself - energy consumption, emotional. not just from how I respond to these, when I get it from their end but also when Im in the situation where I can and feel tempted to do it. the idea that we tell other men but almost never the man in question, I guess that does need to change - just face it and not run to others for the cushy treatment, face that risk that yes as what the guy in the vid said, he might leave. i heard the idea before, that its like putting people in an emotional trap and it can be unfair to them - be they friends, random people or even just someone you wanna screw.

Criviton · 2015-01-02T19:50:34+00:00

thank you for the link my friend very cool guy

maouthse · 2015-01-02T20:32:42+00:00

similar idea to Patrice O'Neal's on Black Phillip. He says something along the lines of: "Oh, you don't have casual sex? Well I don't really partake in casual conversation…"

2015-01-02T20:42:10+00:00

Excellent fucking video. Liked and faved.

One little thing though: I still think that it is possible to be "friends" with a woman if we talk about things we both want to talk about. I talk to a female friend about our TV shows. When she has emotion-dumping to do, I let my wife take over the listening. All it takes is actively maintaining your boundaries, but not necessarily forbidding all non-sexual activities from women.

FoxMcWeezer · 2015-01-02T04:16:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

football1010 · 2015-01-02T19:54:56+00:00

Ayn Rand once again hit the nail on the head.

All healthy functional relationships are an equal exchange of value for value. Without such an exchange, the relationship will falter.

And that doesn't just mean relationship in the romantic/sexual manner. All interactions between people. A student at college has a relationship with his professor. The professor gives lessons the student believes are worth what he paid for in admission, the professor gets a paycheck. If either say "this isn't worth it" they are free to quit. A father gets the satisfaction of raising a healthy child. The value he gets is that satisfaction. The value the child gets is having a good father. You wouldn't pay $1,000,000,000,000 for a car, nor would a car maker accept $0.01 for it. A mutually agreeable price is met somewhere in between.

There's a reason why it's called Sexual Market Value. All voluntary human interaction is an expression of market forces. A market is simply when both sides mutually agree to exchange something that one values for something the other values. If one values something too much while the other values it too little, there will not be an agreement and the exchange will not be made.

If a female wants emotional availability, she must be willing to exchange something the other party values. And not just with men, and not just sex. Even when she's venting to her best female friend, the friend is still getting something. It could be the knowledge that the girl venting will be there for her in the future, it could be the satisfaction people get from having friends, it could be blackmail and gossip ammo to use against her later on. She's still choosing to listen to that friend complain and vent, on purpose instead of walking away, because she's deciding it is somehow worth it. Even the satisfaction of doing something nice for someone you care about is still something of value to you, and if you get that satisfaction, you are getting your value. Even psychologists and counselors do this very same thing in a more direct way: being emotionally available to someone and helping them with their problems, but in exchange for money.

The point this guy makes is spot on. The girls at the ice rink wanted to take something of value from him, his time and mental energy, and not give something of equal value (sex) back. Those girls were trying to rob him of something he values, as clearly as someone robbing a store.

j-pHil · 2015-01-02T08:36:05+00:00

i understand his point, but how do i implement this without bitterness. do i just move on to the next one. am i not supposed to hold female friends?

rufusjonz · 2015-01-02T14:31:44+00:00

Good video and great post/video title

PracticallyAlpha · 2015-01-02T16:38:52+00:00

Other people will use you for what you do. It is OK to focus on yourself. It is OK, as a male, to want women around who are physically available. It doesn't make you a pig, it doesn't make you a jerk, it doesn't make you a douchebag. It makes you a smart, efficient, energy-conserving person. It makes you a Prius, it makes you Captain Planet.

Dealing with bullshit physically drains our energy. Whether with women or otherwise, listening to uninteresting, emotional people talk ad nauseum is an arduous waste of time.

Luckyluke23 · 2015-01-02T16:51:57+00:00

his voice hurts me ears but his video is super cool! i love the way he did it and the message he teaches!

i subed to his channel i just hope i don't get any of the prank videos.

GuruDev1000 · 2015-01-02T17:36:13+00:00

Thank you. That was concise and amazing.

iggybdawg · 2015-01-02T17:39:42+00:00

Girls get confused when I say sex is emotionally fulfilling to me. As such, being physically unavailable to me is being emotionally unavailable to me.

GayLubeOil · 2015-01-02T20:25:53+00:00

Relevant Music Video WHY I GOTTA WAIT?? - Flynt Flossy ft Yung Humma (…: http://youtu.be/ajcGDaLy4Zw

REDitor100 · 2015-01-03T17:53:47+00:00

I just realized why red pill is so hard to swallow.

The terminology and definitions are so strong that for someone barely seeing it, it would be pretty easy to see it as anger filled, complex, or vulgar. It's also too much to take in sometimes. Acronyms such as SMV and stuff are things you need to look up and understand why it's called that.

Main stream ideas need to be short and simple so anyone could understand. I am all for red pill spreading because I see so many brothers who could benefit from it and it could eventually lead to to men being men again. But I also know it would be rejected if brought to light as its own subject. I believe, if we want red pill to spread, the terminology needs to dumb down a bit. The title of this post makes it very easy to connect two and two and if we thought about it differently, we could change most terms and definitions for not only newcomers but for people who already accept TRP but still don't understand everything.

cocoguard · 2015-01-05T21:13:24+00:00

You guys need to calm down, obviously sometimes stuff happens and sex just isn't something she wants to do that night. I understand being annoyed if she makes up an excuse every night but sometimes you just have to. I mean, you all call in sick to work when you have a cold and skip the gym when you're running on 2 hours of sleep, and get right back to it like every other day as soon as you can.

2015-01-02T03:26:45+00:00

fucking brilliant. 100% fucking brilliant.

2015-01-02T22:48:40+00:00

We've seen it here before: either fuck me, or fuck you.

hb8only · Fri Jan 2 10:28:04 2015 UTC

still not 1:1

sex: I'm phys. available to her and she is to me 1:1
emot: I'm here for her (not she for me) 0:1

but.. must me 1:2, not 0:2 :)

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2015-01-02T00:34:59+00:00

physical begets emotional Shittests begets analsex

Title	Girls, If You're Physically Unavailable I'm Emotionally Unavailable
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	589
Comments	146
Date	January 2, 2015 12:22 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2r1v22/girls_if_youre_physically_unavailable_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/girls-if-youre-physically-unavailable-im.27295 https://theredarchive.com/post/27295

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