A Beginners Guide for What to Say

AJam · 2013-11-11T15:55:29+00:00

First, you have to consider your mutually shared location.

At a Thai Express, ask her what her favourite item on the menu is or what she recommends.
At a concert ask her what her favourite song is, her favourite album, how long has she has been a fan of Coldplay, whatever.
Ask her for the time while wearing a watch (as was stated in a previous seddit thread).
Ask her for directions to some local place.
Compliment something she is wearing / doing that is unusual or that she is likely proud of. "Those shoes are awesome", "love that tattoo", "damn gurl you sure can work that pole real good", etc.

From there, smile and introduce yourself. Get her name. Then simply follow through with "I'd love to take you to dinner this weekend", "Would you like to go out some time?". And then get her number (very important).

You don't have to smart or suave or witty (although it does help), just be real. She'll bite or she won't.

ContemplativeOctopus · 2013-11-11T15:59:21+00:00

Honestly most of the time girls don't even remember your opener. Depending on setting it can be as simple as walking up and introducing yourself and telling a girl that she caught your eye. The trick is not to overthink it though because simple is always better

With that said, I love lines. Here's a few that I've used with success:

1) "Hey I noticed you noticing me and I wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too" -Fresh Prince

This is best used after making eye contact with a girl and getting an IOI that way

2) "Is this man bothering you?" -Top Gun

I'm a Lieutenant in the Air Force so it's almost cheating that we do it the way we do. Work some variant like from the mall scene in fresh prince of bel air though and you can have success with it as well

3) Not a line so much but if you see a girl getting creeped on at the bar, make eye contact with her so she knows you see it and laugh behind your hand. After she gets rid of him, walk over and say "Sorry I would have helped save you but that was too funny to watch."

4) Better yet, save the girl who is getting creeped on. Mouth "need help?" and she'll probably give you some kind of "YES PLEASE" look. Walk over, put your arm around her waist and say "Sorry I took so long talking to my friend. Let's get that drink I promised you before" and then apologize to the guy for stealing her for a bit.

The amount of rapport this gives you is just unfair and also allowed you to kino right off the bat. My easiest K and F-closes have come from this method

nuferasgurd · 2013-11-11T14:49:02+00:00

Who, what, when, where, why, and how. In the beginning you can use these to ask questions. As you get better, try and figure out how to phrase them as statements. Don't use all of them in a row, but they'll help you get started.

Pay attention to your senses. Sight, sounds, smells, touch, taste, and feelings. Use them to relate to other people or to find differences and anomalies. Different people favor different senses. Figure out which ones you use the most, then figure out which ones others use.

And lastly, BE INTERESTED! Pay attention to what they're saying. Listen for key words, and if all else fails, parrot back the last few words that they spoke.

zzonked7 · 2013-11-11T17:42:58+00:00

I've drifted away from learning about 'game' recently and I'm starting to think it isn't entirely worth actively reading concepts. There's a lot of confusing and contradictory advice, sometimes when I have a session learning a lot of theory I do worse. You have to just go out and practice. You only have so much free time and I truly believe you can only specialize in a few things. Why not make game simple and focus on the rest of your life? Not saying other ways are wrong, just sharing my current perspective.

With that in mind, I've started going really blunt lately. I like walking up to girls and being a bit cocky, saying something like "Hey, I'm bored, would you like to have a little conversation and maybe we can both grow as human beings from the whole experience?" That is reeeally tongue in cheek though, if you say that seriously you'll probably come across as a tool. It has to sound like a joke. Then I'll just go from there. Don't be afraid to do interview mode, it doesn't have to be boring. Just ask random questions. I just ask whatever pops into my head, even if it's totally obtuse. Don't think about it too much. I'm against situational openers for the most part because they're a bit forced. It's better to dive in and then worry about what to say as you go, in my opinion. So long as it's interesting and you're playful it can work.

Sorry I typed a bit of an essay here!

JustinTime91 · 2013-11-11T22:31:22+00:00

I'll be somewhat unconventional here and suggest that the best way for you to learn what to talk about is to consume a generous amount of alcohol and then go talk to women. It'll loosen you up and within time you'll learn how to converse and what works for you. You just need to find the best way for you and then use that way when you're not drunk. Some people might say something like "Uuuh, you'll depend on alcohol to talk with women". Nah man, you will understand that the reason you're drinking is to improve your overall conversation skills, not to get a temporary boost in confidence and whatnot. It's better to learn how to converse than to learn individual lines.

I also feel that it's better to create a ground and build upon that than to just pick up random pointers and mash them together.

bayvet · 2013-11-11T18:16:05+00:00

Dude, it doesn't matter one bit what you say. Just stroll up like a boss and say "Hey!"

On the other hand, if you stare at her for 10 minutes prior to do this, look down, and say "heeeyyy" in an upward-inflecting weak voice... it's liable to not work so well.

If you walk up confidently and don't come off as needy, it doesn't matter what you say. Just as you shun homeless people who are trying to get something from you, girls will be turned off by you if you are a leach.

oops_cornhole · 2013-11-11T14:36:45+00:00

Flash a wad of hundred dollar bills and magnum condoms. 60% of the time it works every time. No words necessary.

TheKingOfChardonnay · 2013-11-11T18:47:00+00:00

Its how you say it not what you say. I had this roommate once who had no guy friends b/c he always had a girl over. We sometimes carpooled and on my way to campus we needed gas one time. We were going into the store together he stops 3 feet in-front a girl leaving the store at the same time.

He says (in a fairly neutral sorta tone like when a cop asks you do you know how fast you were going?) Hey you look cute we need to hang out sometime.
She stops and says ok very awkwardly. (this feels awkward btw) He doesn't seem to notice though and asks if she has a dude.
She says yes.
And he then asks how long ya'll been together? She says less than a month. (now she's reacting less awkwardly more like ok just answering your shitty close ended questions) He's says ok nothing serious then let me get your number. And flashes her a smile.
She says ok. And that was that not sure what he did between that moment and her coming over a few nights later but it worked.

epochwin · 2013-11-11T18:38:52+00:00

I posted this on one of the AskReddit threads a while back: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1oj6e7/introverted_shy_guys_of_reddit_how_did_you_end_up/ccsrhqq

ninjahX · 2013-11-11T20:06:46+00:00

You can say anything you want to a girl to open but here are a couple key points which should be included in your format: "Time-Constraints" and "Rooting."

Time-Constraint Example : "Let me ask you a quick question before I get back to my friends." This puts them at ease because they know you are not going to be clinging on to them indefinitely making them uncomfortable.

Rooting example : "The reason I'm asking is because I have a friend who just told me blah blah blah." This will put your opening question or statement into context and show personality - making it seem less like you are taking a survey or interviewing random people.

As far as the actual topic, it can be anything that would require another persons opinion or input. Usually something light and happy, possibly lightly relationship based. Situational stuff is usually OK but not that deep and you should transfer to other topics quickly as the convo develops.

As far as canned material, it definitely works but there is a learning curve. Routines are good for building rapport. Even the cliche "pick-up lines" can work if you use them ironically with a lot of confidence.

lifework · 2013-11-12T14:00:02+00:00

AY SHAWTY U NEED A MAN?

joshsway · 2013-11-11T14:34:58+00:00

Why do you have nothing to say? What are your interests / hobbies / etc? You need to have SOMETHING going for you if you want to attract women. (I wrote about that in an article actually: http://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/have-something-going-for-you). So, get something going on in your life. Pick up a hobby, an interest, etc. and then you will have a plethora of things to talk about!

I should add another important tip: Don't be afraid to share an opinion! If you are afraid of looking stupid because you don't have a clue about the topic, simply preface what you say with: "I haven't thought that much about this but..."

surangasasa · 2013-11-11T15:25:21+00:00

No! No! No!, Even though its your job to start the conversation and it is somewhat her job to initiate the conversation, by far, IT IS HER JOB to continue the conversation. I sincerely recommend you the free no strings attached youtube video by Nick Sparks at the Social Man who explains How to Hold a Conversation like a Man at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI

If you can't take the time to watch that video here is a summery of that video http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-27462-post-520724.html

BTW, my recommended style of game is not of either of those gentlemen.

clippernation90 · 2013-11-12T00:58:29+00:00

read this comment: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cqvcu/fr_first_kiss_close_ever/c0uk1pb

2013-11-12T02:51:56+00:00

It's not what you say. It's how you say it.

I have no idea how to say it though so can't help you there.

NYCman11229 · 2013-11-12T03:52:23+00:00

You can say anything the fuck you want as long as you keep on escalating. Just talk about random shit as long as you get close to her and just keep on looking into her eyes. Then more escalation and isolation and k-close and more.

whitbyrudie · 2013-11-11T18:58:24+00:00

Sounds like you're hovering in the "outcome dependent zone"

My advice and I've read the comments and haven't seen it mentioned yet

There's a common piece of advice that is simply "talk to all the girls" as much as you can, but if I were you i'd take it one step further.

Use pre-scripted pick up lines, good ones, bad ones, doesn't matter. A lot of guys and girls are going to tell you these won't work (unless you have game, and you can make it funny/interesting blah blah blah, let's just assume for you these won't work) Which is exactly the reason you shoudl use them.

Go up to a girl completely straight faced and say

"Are you an astronaut? cause that ass is out of this world"

Worst case scenario, you get slapped, more likely then not, an eye roll, possibly an "ugh" of disgust, and you move on.

Get used to getting rejected, for me, it's really been the only way of getting rid of the outcome dependency. Once you're no longer dependent on what happens, you won't really have a problem walking up to any girl and being

"Hey, what's shakin bacon?"

Or what ever you're comfortable with,a nd let things roll from there.

But if you go up to a girl and you're trying to think of a way to get her to sleep with her before or during the initial conversation, she will smell it like a shark smells blood and bail on you.

So get out there, and talk to girls, not just in clubs, at the grocery store, anywhere, go with the intent on getting rejected, make it a game, when you can laugh it off as you walk away, you'll start to get a lot better.

/2 cents

IbeShippin · 2013-11-11T18:37:52+00:00

Make (playful) observations instead of information gathering questions. It's also easier to lead the conversation this way, but be sure to really listen to her and let her speak some as well :P

instead of saying how do you like the weather, say Damn, I was gonna make a snowman today (on a sunny day)

basically dont worry about what to say, just poke at her and see how she responds. Canned lines suck.

While this looks like unhelpfull advice, I feel strongly that if you go and do that a hundred times you'll be way better with woman then if you go and rehash a pre-learned scriptie a 100 times over.

a_tes_soulhaits · 2013-11-12T02:00:04+00:00

Heres one I came up with. "would you do me a quick favour?"

Who doesn't want to help someone out?

"tell me a joke"

Right now you should be in, if she doesn't know any jokes my response is, "lets start simple then how about your name?"

Then I tend to keep conversation flowing with random open ended questions, favourite pizza toppings. What did she want to be when she was a little girl. Things she wouldn't be expecting to talk about but are harmless and unintrusive. Throw in the occasional compliment too.

hamfraigaar · 2013-11-12T07:33:46+00:00

This piece of advice is simple, cool and the closest you'll come to a magic pill - you can literally not run out of things to say. The universe is made up of however many atoms that make however many items. Everything we know, everything we've ever talked about, discussed, loved and hated is inside this universe. Looking out the window for 5 minutes, will probably give you enough to "talk" about for a few years!

Now combined with all the shit you do in daily life, you'll have lifetimes of talk-worthy material.

The only filter that should be on your mind is the weirdo-filter - you know, the one that prevents you from blurting out your cannibalistic tendencies... and allow me to elaborate:

You can be controversial, ie, break the weirdo-filter, if you have the social intelligence to do so without getting arrested (don't worry, it'll come)
Sex is not filtered by the weirdo-filter ;-)

And if you don't know what exactly the weirdo-filter filters, I'm sorry I don't have a list of things to say and not to say, but the fact just stands that different people get away with different things. If you are a buff dude in a metalband, you might be able to get away with some things that a skinny computer "nerd" would not.

The real way to figure out how exactly your weirdo-filter needs to work, the working (and fun!) way is to go out for several nights ONLY to break the weirdo-filter and find out what works/what doesn't work, but generally, most people have a pretty good idea.

Anyway, we're getting off-track but the point is, you can talk about anything at all. I once saw a dude open up a set by saying that he went shopping and noticed tuna was on sale. Going home with two girls you can probably tell, finding things to talk about is not hard to do.

Here is a video to show all of you god damn keyjockeys what it looks like in real life:

This is what it looks like, stop being a weird pua-type

TonyDAbsolute · 2013-11-11T20:35:15+00:00

I wrote an article about this. Check it out. http://www.absoluteability.com/game/what-to-say-to-girls-2/

gmh1977 · 2013-11-11T17:25:57+00:00

Just ask open question. I think asking someone for the time or recommendations at a restaurant are too obvious and cheesy. You should definitely ask for someone opinion in a casual way.

Title	A Beginners Guide for What to Say
Author	JustinTime91
Upvotes	311
Comments	125
Date	November 11, 2013 2:03 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qdjkv/a_beginners_guide_for_what_to_say/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-beginners-guide-for-what-to-say.1361385 https://theredarchive.com/post/1361385

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