To ALL MARRIED MEN -- listen up, always , always keep a stash of cash at your parents home, in a locked box , with some of your most important papers and most of all , gold, silver or any valuables . No matter what you think, it will be important just in case ..

duglock · 2012-07-16T16:49:01+00:00

Yes, and you need more then you think. I had 15K at a friends house and that was nowhere near enough to cover all the unexpected stuff that happens. Still helped a ton.

mrmacky · 2012-07-16T18:11:31+00:00

This is disturbing. I understand the mindset, but treating your wife like your potential enemy is just going to breed resentment and distrust in the long run. If you're that paranoid, don't get married.

malesRhuman · 2012-07-16T23:52:52+00:00

I've had the displeasure of a marriage with a sociopathic woman and the pleasure of a marriage with a very decent woman.

The very decent woman, thanks to the family courts that help my sociopathic ex abuse our kids and my family and me, is being harmed by abuse by the ex. Her personality suffers from the stress and hopelessness of being attacked and lied against. But a depressed very decent woman is not likely to falsely accuse you of domestic violence, child sexual abuse, steal your kids, steal your money, etc. which are ordinary and expected things for sociopathic women to do.

Having had both kinds of marriages, I see your point. I also see the point that you can't expect to have a successful relationship if you treat your significant other as untrustworthy.

I tend to think that marriage should be abolished except as a social convention with no legal ramifications. They should be replaced with some kind of formalized agreement that defines what the relationship means to both parties. And this should be gender-neutral as possible.

2012-07-16T14:52:28+00:00

This really is true. I have seen many men in my family destroyed by divorce. If you do not keep your stash at your parents you may wind up living with them.

celibacy4life · 2012-07-16T18:58:36+00:00

I am for the secret stash of cash and precious metals. Buried treasure is a tradition as old as time. You should trust your spouse, but a marriage isn't a economical suicide pact. This is especially true if she won't sign a pre-nup. There's a 50% chance that your marriage is going to eventually end in divorce. There's a 70% chance that the wife will initiate it. Protection is paramount.

The only downside is that somehow she finds out about you stash during divorce proceedings. I think you could be charged criminally with hiding assets and fraud. So keep your mouth shut.

kupfernikel · 2012-07-16T16:39:25+00:00

And dont tell her about it =P

TruBlue · 2012-07-16T23:47:32+00:00

Just come through a divorce after 10 years together. I have learnt one major life life lesson - "YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN A WOMEN UNTIL YOU MEET HER IN COURT"

fumunda · 2012-07-16T18:43:17+00:00

Why should I trust my parents? I can definitely see them using any money i store with them in an "emergency" but not telling me. Security box at a bank? Will the wife be entitled to anything I leave in there?

hermit_the_frog · 2012-07-16T17:47:36+00:00

"she" may have another guy before "she" decided to divorce. Thanks to no-fault divorce states, "she" can commit adultery and get away with 1/2 the stuff.

Lohengren · 2012-07-16T22:43:29+00:00

Just don't fucking get married

FreddyDeus · 2012-07-17T00:35:57+00:00

In recent years I've come across an increasing number of women who, after marrying, have started secreting money into a 'private' bank account which they call a 'running away fund'.

First, I find it disturbing that it seems to have a consistent name. But why should I be surprised about this. Probably an idea that's been propagated in bloody women's magazines.

Second, it beggars belief that they think this is reasonable behaviour, and it hardly builds a great foundation of trust to start a marriage with.

Third, it clearly demonstrates that they have little faith in the damn relationship anyway, so why the fuck did they bother marrying the guy.

Fourth, some of the women I've heard say they've done this don't earn an income themselves, so they are effectively embezzling money from a guy they claim to love.

Nice.

hermit_the_frog · 2012-07-16T18:44:59+00:00

So turn the tables... how are you going to feel when you someday discover that you've gone through all of the traditional financial struggles of a family - mortgage, vehicles, putting kids through college, etc - only to discover that your partner has squirreled away fifteen-plus thousand dollars that could have come in really handy on numerous occasions? Frankly I'd feel extremely insulted and betrayed.

mtux96 · 2012-07-16T17:36:28+00:00

This just feels like encouraging mistrust

Meistermalkav · 2012-07-17T01:33:32+00:00

I think it has nothing to do with furthering discontempt, or seeing your wife as a potential enemy.

Just remember one thing: Does getting insurance on a car mean you encourage driving drunk? Does getting insurance on your home mean that you will be burglarized? Does using a condom when you meet someone mean you want it to just be a one night stand?

No.

Insurance means, according to a very smart comedian, in case shit happens. In case shit happens, you have your ass covered.

You will not trust a 500 $ note taped to your car to be able to pay for any damages to it. You remove all the links, and store it someplace where the risk you are trying to insure yourself against is not able to affect your insurance. Then, and only then, you are able to enjoy getting into something, because you know if all else fails, I still have my basic safeguards.

c_vic · 2012-07-16T17:26:17+00:00

This is really sad though. If one does not trust their spouse then it's a really shitty marriage. What's the point of it all?

EternalArchon · 2012-07-16T23:59:49+00:00

Okay I get having extra bank account just in case. Hell, just in case some kind of identity theft occurs it might be a good idea.

But whats with the whole Ron Swanson Buried Treasure?

royboh · 2012-07-17T01:41:58+00:00

This doesn't just apply to married men. It's a good idea to have 'OHSHIT' provisions incase 'OHSHIT' happens, regardless of your current marital, financial, or personal situation. Because it eventually will happen, and being ready will make a very huge difference.

Funcuz · 2012-07-17T10:58:08+00:00

Actually , you just have to never , ever , under any circumstances get married in a developed country .

Just don't do it .
It's not a question of engaging with somebody on the assumption that they'll someday become your enemy . It's the knowledge that if they do ever decide that the fight is on , the laws are set up to make absolutely certain you will lose everything .

The only mystery , as far as I'm concerned , is why any male still gets married anymore . He gains nothing and stands to lose everything . I wouldn't sign any contract that guaranteed I lose everything if the other party can decide for any reason whatsoever that things aren't working out . That's just stupid .

rightsbot · 2012-07-16T14:40:17+00:00

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2012-07-16T20:01:08+00:00

Here's the thing though. I'm a good wife. My husband has it pretty good. I only say that, because it's what he says to me on a regular basis - that he loves me and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. We discussed things like divorce before we ever got married; we took our time and made sure that we wanted to grow old together before we wed, because divorce was not and is not an option for either of us (barring something extreme, like one of us suddenly morphing into an abusive psycho out of the blue). So if I found out that he had a stash of cash and valuables and important papers tucked away somewhere "just in case" I turned out to be a cheating, backstabbing ho, it would be devastating. I would wonder if he had ever trusted me at all, and what he really thought of me. See, I meant every word of my wedding vows. I've kept them since day one and intend to keep on doing so...he doesn't need to safeguard himself against me. If it turned out that he had, I'd wonder if he really knew me at all. What kind of relationship could we possibly have if he was planning his escape route?

This is something that people should consider doing once they start seeing their marriage fall apart - there is often a lot of warning that things are going to fail. But to just mistrust your spouse by default because, hey, she's potentially going to screw you over in divorce court? Bad advice. I'm sorry you had to go through that with your wife...that sucks, big time. However, encouraging all married men everywhere to start viewing their wives with suspicion and a jaundiced eye is not the solution.

ThePigman · 2012-07-17T01:26:38+00:00

Good advice, but here is some better advice - don't get married.

jj7921 · 2012-07-16T18:49:59+00:00

As a gay male I often wonder how it would turn out if I decided to get married and divorced.

galimi · 2012-07-16T21:27:50+00:00

As someone who has gone through this, I upvote and would say that the amount should be in the hundreds of thousands. Don't have hundreds of thousands? Don't get married or have kids until then.

loose-dendrite · 2012-07-16T19:32:37+00:00

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2012-07-16T22:32:47+00:00

10 years? Hmm...

2012-07-16T23:11:15+00:00

I have an account she doesn't have access to. Any shared funds get put into a joint account manually, not that I'm expecting my wife to try and steal it...

chavelah · 2012-07-16T18:12:46+00:00

I suggested this once to my husband - separate "pyscho stashes" for each of us, in cash, hidden, against the day that one of us went nuts and decided to break up the family. He was very much opposed, although he thought it was a great idea for every other married couple in the world. So, yeah, illogical.

coochiesmoocher · 2012-07-16T19:54:48+00:00

For those looking for a TL;DR:

Talk, for shit's sake.

typhonblue · 2012-07-16T18:43:43+00:00

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2012-07-16T22:57:11+00:00

The more common sense thing to do is just get a good prenup that is fair to both parties. If your wife finds out you've been stashing things like that then she's going to get pissed and possibly very hurt that you don't trust her. If before you marry her you set up a safety net so you're both protected in the event of divorce then you will start off open and honest without the need to hide anything. If you do hide things then you set yourself up for trouble because you obviously don't trust the woman you married to not become a backstabber... thats insulting to both parties.

2012-07-16T20:57:21+00:00

TIL Glenn Beck is now a marriage counselor.

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