Your experiences with Liberal vs. Conservative men.

bombas- · 2021-08-30T08:06:08+00:00

Go for someone with a good heart, who sees other people as full human beings— especially people who are more vulnerable than him. Even (especially) if he’s been raised to assume he can just bulldoze these people, but instead he shows empathy and respect.

I think men like this are more common among centrist, liberal, and progressive men, but men all over the political spectrum can fail at the basic “I see other people as real human beings” test

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-08-30T14:30:37+00:00

Honestly? You want a man who doesn’t care that much about politics day-to-day, but cares about his fellow people and is happy to support your activism.

You are perfectly free to set any political standard you want, of course, but in general I find people who always want to argue about politics with friends/family (especially men, who always have to be right about politics) exhausting. And I work in government.

warinmymind94 · 2021-08-30T16:50:48+00:00

My experience with conservative men were mostly in my hometown. They are good at acting like a gentleman and pretending to be HV initially. They'll make time to call/text you and generally will ask you out a nice FDS approved first date in a healthy time frame. They generally dressed well for the date and used good manners and paid, showed up on time.

However, a lot of it was a facade that quickly dropped off. Almost all of them were flagrantly racist and/or homophobic. Some of them used religion as an excuse to shame women's bodies or view women as inferior to men. One conservative literally believed it was a woman's duty to be a wife and be obedient to her husband and be a SAHM (no career for her ever). So you really need to be careful especially as a young person when dating conservatives. They tended to have a lot of pent up sexual frustration and would give me rapey gut feelings.

As for the more liberal men, you have to watch out for the fake woke dudes. Men will hate feminism and even pretend to support women's rights just to try to get in your pants. Or they will just try to have political debates even if you are also a liberal, trying to mansplain and "did you know" you. They are sex positive but only in a way to get into your pants and usually very kinky.

Find someone that lines up with your own ideals more and there are extremists like I mentioned that fake on both sides of the political table I just highlighted the very stereotypical behaviors which I actually saw a lot of. His actions tell who he really is and keep vetting so you can see

girl_in_red_costume · 2021-08-30T11:30:47+00:00

In the end both were scumy cheaters.

HengroenAndLlamrei · 2021-08-30T18:25:25+00:00

Different sides of the same scrote.

discoveringliberty · 2021-08-30T15:22:38+00:00

I'm a radfem and my politics align most with socialism - yet my dating experience has been much more positive with conservative men (back when I did OLD and didn't know someone's political leaning until meeting them and discussing politics). I've found them to be more masuline and fun to be around, and they know how to date properly. I've only dated on a superficial level though, I'm sure that a relationship with a conservative man wouldn't be sustainable for me since our views would just clash too much.

My experience with liberal men has been crap, to be frank. The two I've dated were wildly misogynistic yet had saviour complexes. Hated any part of feminism that benefitted women yet constantly used 'feminism' as an excuse to treat me like crap and defend their horrible views on porn and prostitution. Would never take me anywhere, didn't dress well, had no sense of familial obligation and no drive to improve themselvses.

As is often said on FDS however, I don't think conservative men are actually any better, they just initially present better to me. Most men are misogynists, whatever their political leanings.

WitchyAyla · 2021-08-30T19:23:48+00:00

For the first time in my life I'm dating someone whose politics align with mine and it is SO much better this way. We're both active in our communities & share the same beliefs about how to help our town & neighbors, and he supports me wholeheartedly in the neighborhood revitalization efforts I had started before I ever met him. I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to make an off-hand remark without being Devil's Advocate'd to death - and when we DO disagree it's so much more interesting because we're looking at the issue from aligned, but different, viewpoints. I got so used to being silent or aloof about things that matter to me in other relationships, but now that I've found a man who share my compassion (& acted upon out himself prior to every meeting me), it feels so safe.

He's also the first man I trust enough to consider taking in foster children with, down the road.

I worried it would feel like an echo chamber, but instead it's two informed, caring people together, doing what we can to help us all grow together.

I can't comment on the red/blue split specifically, but I can vouch for the beauty of the alignment on things that matter, especially if you are or hope to ever be active in that area of your civic life.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-08-30T08:14:59+00:00

I won't date anyone who is right wing. It's one of my vetting questions. The right wing government in my country is disgusting. They protect rapists and child abusers and marginalise the poor and people of colour. I wouldn't associate with anyone who voted these pricks in.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-08-30T18:55:36+00:00

I can't tolerate conservative men, neither can I tolerate extreme liberal ones who push for "empowermen" throughsex work and anarchists kind.

I stick to dating those whose views are very close to mine because I don't want to deal with men who might be voting against my rights in any way.

purasangria · 2021-08-30T12:31:06+00:00

I know I'm gonna be downvoted for this, but my experience had been better with more conservative men.

Both liberal and conservative men are mostly trash, but I've never dated a "progressive" man who wasn't cheap, abusive, manipulative, and cruel. Wanted sex, but had little to offer.

In contrast, a few of the conservative men were thoughtful, kind, paid for all dates, bought me gifts, were great in bed, and treated me well.

I'm over 50, so maybe my age has something to do with my experience.

modernmedusaa · 2021-08-30T08:11:18+00:00

Liberal men - rarely date them since I got older.

Liberal working class men in general have gotten wild - won’t touch them with a barge pole due to what I know from my upbringing. They mostly leech off empathetic pickmeisha’s & are heavily misogynistic behind their innocent ‘poor me I’m broke and so kind’ facade.

Bad investment & far more prone to violence. They will pull a bait and switch and you’ll have little to show for it. Don’t let them scam you into settling - every pick me I know who did that regrets buying their sob stories.

Whingey. Usually unattractive and delusional about it. Have supposed mental health issues they want to talk about all day but don’t want to hear about you. Very self victimising and self absorbed

Constantly hating on foreigners and feminists blaming them for their downfalls and lack of career advancement - quite tone deaf as to how they contribute to that

Usually 50/50 cheap scrotes. Porn sick. Immature- don’t want to provide. They’re an eternal victim- usually chasing women out of their league crying about rejection.

Some pretend to be feminist and support lib fem bullshit. Expect sex very fast with no effort. Quite demanding & delusional

Conservative men obviously have the money & Dworkin was right about how it’s understandable women would swing to conservative men for cover in a harsh patriarchy - since they offer more shelter than liberal men do.

But she was also right about why we should hesitate and consider their intentions because quite often they do bait you in with dreamy provider bravado shelter & later switch on you - become controlling & think they own you.

Occasionally I’ll find a moderate liberal / centrist with immigrant parents who’s also wealthy but more chill.

But generally- it’s conservative men with the better paying jobs.

Tend to be better dressed/ educated, more masculine and at least more willing to put in effort and pay for dates

However they can get very controlling and possessive- they tend to play the long game and act all romantic and generous for a while until they have you invested then get nasty and begin cheating with liberal feminists on dating apps despite complaining they hate liberal attitudes to dating.

So classic switch and bait is very common with conservative men.

But of course they want to keep a classy stable girlfriend around to look good to other men and their family - signal status (often to other pick mes). Whilst they cheat with liberal pick mes in secret. They want to get their cake and eat it.

To many of them they think - well I put initial effort in pretending to be a good guy for 4-5 months- I will do as I please now and you will take it woman, time to bow down. That’s their attitude. They also assume they’re superior in intelligence and can keep you fooled forever. Which they can’t because they can’t keep the facade up forever - they get drained and worn out.

This is why high standards protect you because frauds will get tired of pretending and give up.

Ofc they put more effort into hiding it with a classy / attractive woman as they don’t want to lose her as that would hurt their manhood. So they will hide the cheating much heavier. And won’t back out - they will get progressively worse & cling on until the woman is forced to leave.

This is because they feel they own you so get very angry about you backing out. Despite the fact they caused that.

For this reason they can be very emotionally taxing to break up with. They get clingy and possessive even when they know the relationship is dead & you see through them.

Because of this they can get very manipulative/aggressive & controlling - gaslighting, mind games, reminding them of how much they invested upfront in a bid to get her to stay & ignore her instincts.

Bang on about how they’re a better choice because liberal men are worse and they were going to give you the world and shelter you from the clown circus blah blah

They feel like they own you and can do whatever past a certain point.

They can also be secretly racist if they’re white - the non white ones are sometimes easier to date bc of this.

Some conservative white men will make casual racist remarks on date one with no self awareness. So you literally can’t go anywhere with that.

But this idea that only conservative men are racist.....lol a lot of working class liberal men are very racist too. White men in general these days....a lot are racist. Which makes it hard to date them.

Assume the woman is cheating on apps all the time so they ‘beat her to it’. To gain control- very obsessed with control. They’re also craftier at hiding it. Since they keep up the ‘mature, charming, gentleman provider’ facade longer and dress better. So women swallow it as they have something on offer at least.

Can have something to pRoVe & easily slighted once they get comfortable. Very strict ideas about gender roles yet theyre often hypocritical and get hostile to providing longterm - they expect a housewife who cooks and cleans but want her going 50/50 so they can pay off their mortgage faster. Scam.

Most modern conservative men - it’s all a facade....they play mature provider wanting a ‘normal family’ (not like sleazy pornsick liberal guys) for a while until they get the woman very emotionally invested then they start dropping effort and cheating behind your back on apps.

They also want you all to themselves and alienated so that no outside influences can point out the fact he’s manipulating you. And not half as high value as he claims.

In many cases they are worse for cheating as mentioned above - they know how to keep the innocent facade up with women. Which means they can be harder to catch as they’re investing a lot of time, energy & money in you which is distracting you from their ‘other face’. They like to disarm a target first and make them comfortable before testing her.

If you don’t want to play housewife and give them wife benefits without a ring 5 months in - they assume you’re not rEsPeCtInG them or don’t have strong feelings. Easily slighted. So will cheat and start acting up to show you ‘who’s boss’. Quite arrogant, impatient and entitled. Think rather high of themselves once they got you.

They’re wanting a committed traditional woman on a shoe string budget with low investment.

But they also want an educated woman and most educated smart women aren’t down to solely rely on a mans finances - though due to fear of goldiggas.... they don’t actually want to pay up for a SAHM.

So wanting the respect of a traditional man whilst being hesitant to provide or stay loyal. They want all the benefits of a traditional woman but want her to put up with constant cheating and go halves whilst doing most the cooking & cleaning.

So conservative men bring more to the table (at first) but tend to play the long game and are more slimey/ worse for hiding cheating & dropping the mask later.

Liberal men tend to have fragile egos, be chronically insecure, expect sex fast, little to offer and drop their mask quick. I can’t put up with their coffee date offers, delusion and whinging so tend to avoid.

I’d rather date a centrist dude who wasn’t that into politics at this point. Because either side is hostile in its own ways.

I think fake conservatives are more harmful longterm in our current porn culture as they have more incentive to sneak around & hide. Which means they will serial cheat and you’ll only sniff it later. Because they need to keep ownership of you, their precious social trophy who makes them look wholesome to the public.

And they will get you comfortable and shower you in affection before abusing you which makes breaking up harder.

Though I will be honest - liberal men are a far worse bunch in my experience, harder to take seriously at all. Far more immature and low effort. Expecting too much for low reward. Very taxing. They rely on pity parties to trick women into parenting them. They have no intention to treat you any better.

Most dont want to put ANY effort in and will expect you to do all the leg work for them. You will end up breaking your back for a broke manchild.

At least with conservative men they are better educated, have better jobs & have some sense of responsibility and know they have to offer something but be careful....they can often bite & get very controlling / angry once they get comfortable. Don’t let the initial affection, romantic monologues and gifts disarm your instincts. That’s what I’ve learned. Remember kindness can be calculated too. It can be bait to lock you into marriage or children.

If you get dating these fake provider gentleman types who seem too good to be true and they start to crack - leave at the sign of temper problems, controlling behaviour and anxiety. Leave at the sign of confusion and doubt. Because he is looking to trap you. And it will get MUCH worse. Trust the doubt. Trust the anxiety. Forget about the nice things he did to get you or how much better he was than so & so. My doubts have never been wrong. And things went SOUTH when I ignored them. Your instincts never lie to you but a man will as long as you ignore them.

They get very angry and butt hurt (potentially violent) when their ‘possession’ leaves them. You don’t want to hang around too long. Get out sooner rather than later and play it smart.

onefoulowl · 2021-08-31T11:17:44+00:00

I am left leaning in my politics but I have found both left and right wing LVM to be equally as misogynistic except that left wing men often participate in performative feminism and use their' progressive' views to try and get you to participate in bdsm and kink and split the bill. Left wing lvm will paint themselves as heroes for knowing what consent is while trying to justify their coercive sexual acts, whereas right wing men will just openly talk about how modern society has corrupted women and destroyed traditional values and spout red pill rhetoric. Honestly neither is good or benefits women.

millions_ofpeachs4me · 2021-08-30T19:37:46+00:00

Generally my best experiences with men have been conservative-leaning moderates. They understand being a provider, they understand sex differences without being a patronizing douche, they generally take care of themselves physically and emotionally, and they usually avoid 50-50 and redpill nonsense.

Liberals and left-leaning moderates always pushed for 50-50, were openly porn positive and addicted, usually had some kind of mental health problem that they were too “manly” to address, had no ambitions, skinny fat or sad dad bod, and almost always complete slobs.

Conservatives came in two flavors: The pro-military/blue lives matter redpill types who were openly hostile to women but saw themselves as benevolent sexists, and the more chilled out almost non-political types who could maybe be libertarian. Most I’ve met or gone on a date with fell into the former category.

My go to vetting process questions around politics are about corona and, since I’m American, the never ending wars. If a guy’s views on those two issues don’t align with mine, I feel we’d be incompatible.

LR_today · 2021-08-30T19:03:52+00:00

All conservative men are worthless trash that want women to essentially be slaves and support all the views and politics to have that happen. Every damn one of them. They expect the degrading shit of BDSM.

Liberal men will agree you should have control over your own body... then immediately ask if you will do anal or let him degrade you in other ways. Illusion of choice shit.

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2021-08-30T15:40:23+00:00

As a POC I cannot take the chance with any white, self labeled conservative man. Period. I don’t know if they are ‘moderate’ conservatives or ‘beat a cop to death with a flag’ conservative but I can say this- it sure seems like all conservatives have fallen lockstep behind flat out treason with a vanishing few standing against slide towards fascism. By not speaking out, loudly, conservative men are condoning every ounce of violence done in their name. We’re still uncovering the bodies of relatives who were murdered as children/babies for being Native by white supremacist Christian nationalists- like fuck I’m taking any risks. American conservatives were fine with children being taken to squalid rape camps in the border- why wouldn’t they be ok with reopening residential schools?

candyfox84 · 2021-08-30T16:20:48+00:00

It's so complicated. I aim for moderated views in all areas of life, since issues are often nuanced beyond the simple dichotomy our media creates. I'm not over here calling it "fake news" at all, simply saying that the media can only work within certain constraints. It's not a graduate level course.

IRL, it's helpful to have a real appreciation for the complexity of global issues, and be humble in your perspective, imo. We have major biases and benefit from certain systems, while others are cast out and marginalized. There is always a trade-off to any policy decision. Some consequences will be good, others bad. I would hope any partner would appreciate this, regardless of how strongly they felt about their politics.

I prefer conservative men, personally. I lean more liberal, but all the liberal guys I dated were commitment phobic, and didn't view marriage and family as important. Liberal inherently moves away from certain social constructs, and frankly marriage is old fashioned. Many of these super progressive guys were also into non-monogamy, whether they admitted it or not. I never once had a liberal guy bring up the next step in a relationship. Again, just my personal experience living in different parts of the US.

This was brought up in one of the podcasts, but conservative men seem to have a more manly demeanor, stronger work ethic, and more traditional views. I'm not talking about fringe extremists, to be clear. And yes, they exist on both sides. That's a dealbreaker, obviously.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-08-30T22:12:59+00:00

Oooh! So. I live in a red state. I will not date trump voters. I have noticed the only men who refuse to give a straight answer about their politics are…trump voters. 😅

I’m a third party voter and tend to look for same. Neither far left or far right are a good fit for me.

breadvice · 2021-08-31T16:58:10+00:00

So. I’m a democratic socialist. I don’t think I could ever date (another, after LVX) conservative, but I’ve found self-proclaimed leftist / feminist men to be the biggest pickmes. Like, do you really think that way, or are you telling me what you think I want to hear? It’s not giving what you think it’s giving. Currently talking to a libertarian who I definitely do not agree with on everything, but he’s very genuine and steadfast in his beliefs. I think that’s what’s most attractive.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-09-03T00:34:01+00:00

I also used to think that conservative men are nicer to date, but I’ve met PLENTY of liberal men who are still gentlemen, open doors, buy you dinner, get you flowers, etc.

I personally only date liberal men. I discuss politics on the first date. If he’s a conservative, no matter how nice he is, I don’t see him again.

dancinqqq · 2021-08-30T14:46:07+00:00

Im 21 and im an independent but right leaning. I try to find the same! I try to stay away from the far left or right spectrum. I just see more liberal men as the 50/50 type of relationship that i am not looking for. BUT, i also have witnessed far right men becoming very possessive and controlling over their partner which i don’t like either. I like someone who is independent with a right leaning, because we share the same values/opinions and i think of them as more open minded than if they were completely one party!

This is a great question! :)

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2021-08-30T11:30:01+00:00

I tend to only date liberal men now. In the past, the conservative men I've dated usually have some form of racism or distaste towards immigrants and/or the less fortunate. Conservative men are also very against women trying to get ahead. I've dropped them once they voiced this (and usually they do early-on so thankfully, I didn't waste too much time on them.) It could just be the extremely conservative state that I live in as to why the conservative men are so outspoken about their views, but that's just my experience.

Title	Your experiences with Liberal vs. Conservative men.
Author	chrisbayless
Upvotes	144
Comments	32
Date	August 30, 2021 2:20 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pe91a2/your_experiences_with_liberal_vs_conservative_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/your-experiences-with-liberal-vs-conservative-men.1066260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1066260

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