Marriage stats look favorable because of hypergamy, not because of the institution of marriage itself

catchtowards12345 · 2021-11-10T08:46:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

redback-spider · 2021-11-10T12:34:57+00:00

You missed the biggest problem with this number, yes you made a valid point that succesful happy healthy man more likely marry than bums so that reverses the causation direction, but there is another big factor that get's ignored.

They count divorced man as single, so A a man that gets unhappy or looses a good paying job, 99% sure gets fast divorced. So if at a point the man looses in marriage 1 second later he falls under the category not married.

So to get even partially comparable numbers you would have to compare man that got never married vs man that got married in their live independent of their current status.

Because marriage at least to a big degree caused the unhappyness of the divorced man because in 99% cases he get destroyed in the divorce court.

So you can't count the people that get literally destroyed because of marriage (divorced) to the unmarried group and claim that the lack of marriage is their problem :D they didn't choose to be unmarried most of the time :D

shortyshitstain · 2021-11-10T08:59:01+00:00

A lot of people marry those who they just aren't compatible with out of a sort of fear that they won't be able to find anyone better. This increases exponentially as people get older and the realistic time frame of having children shortens. It's not marriage itself that causes unhappiness in my opinion but marrying the wrong person, which is admittedly easy to do.

And yeah marriage maybe isn't for everyone. Especially if you don't want children.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-11-10T08:21:54+00:00

Can you post the studies you're criticizing?

It would be easier to judge if it is a case of correlation with the studies to look at.

majani · 2021-11-10T11:49:54+00:00

I think you were trying to point out that these studies and stats might be screwed due to selection bias. Wealthier men have easier time finding partners than broke ones and I guess it does partially explain the difference. I doubt it's the only explanation though or that it's the main one. Most women work too and men are shown to be the least stressed in dual-income households when they still bring the bigger share. Moreover, we know that in the third of married couples women are breadwinners.

Plus, I'm not sure that your idea explains better health and better illness outcomes. Most people get health issues as they age and filtering for 100% health isn't really possible. You never know whether your partner will develop some chronic issues or get cancer in the future. Sure, it can be explain by higher income as well, but at least some studies actually control for it.

Having said that I don't think that people should use it as an argument for or against marriage. From the current data it seems that being married and/or marriageable is beneficial to one's well-being, but marriage is a personal choice and you make it according to your beliefs, not just according statistics or studies. You should do it only if you really want it yourself.

Siukslinis_acc · 2021-11-10T07:51:57+00:00

I think there's a differnce between material quality of life and mental quality of life. You can have a lot of money but still be unhappy. You can also be happy while not having much money.

Sorcha16 · 2021-11-10T08:27:00+00:00

Pretty sure the stat I always here is 6.5/1000 people today get married. That's not impressive at all.

Creation_Soul · 2021-11-10T08:19:42+00:00

If your plan (even as a successful man) includes a LTR, but you don't want to get married, you are limiting your dating pool by a lot (there are a lot less women who are 100% ok to be a forever girlfriend).

As a married man, marriage didn't change much in terms of my relationship with my wife. We were living together for 4-5 years and had been for 6-7 years when we got married. For my wife, getting married was always part of her life plan and if I was not the marrying type I don't think think the relationship would have lasted. Basically, marriage didn't make us happier, but if I was not the marrying type, the (most likely) break-up would have made us both unhappy.

I think marriage statistics should also take into account the state of both people when the relationship started, not when they got married. I met my wife in college and we were your standard poor college students. By the time we got married we both had very good incomes (that put us into UMC territory), but the foundations of our relationship were laid much, much earlier.

The ideal (for both men and women) is to find someone they are compatible with in life goals.

superlurkage · 2021-11-10T14:40:04+00:00

Why should people use generalized stats to make a personal decision that is only relevant to one other person?

CFinCanada · 2021-11-10T12:08:46+00:00

This is a short way of saying that men who can afford it get married.

Why do men who can afford it get married? Because they understand, like women are increasingly starting to, that marriage benefits men.

It makes no sense for a woman to marry a man and give him children unless she stands to get something out of it that can lighten the burden and mitigate some of the inherent risk (inherent for women, not for men). The guy should at least be rich enough to hire a maid and/or nanny and for her to be set at least until she can regain a foothold in her career or finish school in the event the guy gets bored and leaves or starts paying for sugar babies.

Marriage to an average guy absolutely makes no logical sense. The woman gets nothing out of that deal but headache and risk.

AnonymousAndy2018 · 2021-11-10T08:43:04+00:00

Marriage wouldn’t even happen if women didn’t pressure men into it.

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catchtowards12345 · 2021-11-10T15:14:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ragman75 · 2021-11-10T16:12:45+00:00

This is probably true since a man loosing his job leads to an increased chance of divorce.

iwillholdontoyou · 2021-11-11T03:10:45+00:00

i agree w your post except the last part like men will change their minds about marriage just because of some statistics. marriage is by and large bad for both genders

calisthenics-guy-96 · 2021-11-11T05:38:38+00:00

Most men who have access to satisfying sex with attractive women, and are in a good financial spot, don't get married or have monogamous long term relationships. It's not really our biological imperative. Every guy that can would prefer multiple endless young hot women over one average or ugly woman that controls your life and is a rapidly depreciating asset

spinsterchachkies · 2021-11-12T16:50:35+00:00

Idk marriage is hard and it’s less taboo to just shack up with someone and never get married now. So that’s probably what it is

New-Context831 · 2022-02-09T14:43:39+00:00

I'd take your "all in" bet!

Men are happier figuring it out and being outside of marriage

LotBuilder · 2021-11-11T02:09:29+00:00

💯 true

Title	Marriage stats look favorable because of hypergamy, not because of the institution of marriage itself
Author	majani
Upvotes	62
Comments	127
Date	November 10, 2021 7:25 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qqov97/marriage_stats_look_favorable_because_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/marriage-stats-look-favorable-because-of-hypergamy.1084909 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084909

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