Aaaah, the devil's advocate. Every one of us has encountered one: Usually young, still-childish, somewhat grimy, and just waiting for their chance to tank an adult conversation with a boy-like grin and the much-awaited words 'well, actually....'

This is your periodic reminder that playing devil's advocate is a social fauxpas. Men- or rather, boys- who do it usually do it for two reasons:

First, they haven't mastered the art of adult conversation yet. Bluntly put, it's a way to fill silence or get a word in in a conversation that would otherwise be beyond a LVM. Leading a well-mannered, elegant, thoughtful adult conversation requires a good deal of social skill: tact, intelligent humour, and a pinch of charisma. If a boy does not have these skills, the easiest way to get a monologue in is often to just blandly contradict something, anything, someone else has said- playing devil's advocate, in other words. It's a sign of someone who just has not figured out how to participate in adult conversation the proper way, and is now too socially unskilled to figure out that their 'contributions' are not valued by the adults whose positive, non-argumentative, two-sided conversation was just tanked. They think it's going 'smoothly' because they are talking a lot, not realising that everyone else- maybe with the exception of some drunk, bored former debate kid who doesn't know anyone else at the party- has checked out.

The second reason is that some boys are stuck in that toddler-phase of needing to assert their independence and separate personhood whenever someone says something, and like toddlers, they choose the easiest way to do so: Simply saying 'No NO NO!' to whatever was said before. Again, someone who hasn't figured the reciprocal, other-oriented, tact-requiring characteristics out adult communication yet.

If you encounter a devil's advocate, do not engange. Smile, nod, and leave. The devil's advocate lacks the social skillset necessary to be an adult, and is permanently stuck in a childish, immature, graphic-tee-infused way of communication. There is nothing for you to find in a conversation with one. Just leave.

Share your stories of what happened when you abandoned a conversation with a devil's advocate below!