How does the "you need to see women as a person first" work on Tinder?

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-29T21:38:33+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment.

EdessaKandros · 2022-01-29T16:00:27+00:00

Tinder is the ultimate frontier or objectification for both men and women. I don’t think it’s possible to see the person first instead of their body and what they have to offer physically.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-29T16:29:09+00:00

That's why I'd never do online dating.

BennyHillThemeStops · 2022-01-29T18:17:21+00:00

It doesn't work on tinder because most women don't have a bio and every second profile is an Instagram or onlyfans thot farming for simps.

HumanNumber348 · 2022-01-29T18:10:32+00:00

The objectification of people on tinder is exactly why that godforsaken app has such a horrendous gender ratio. Women don’t want to be on there.

Jack_Fables · 2022-01-29T16:30:23+00:00

Tinder is a girl dominated arena. They have infinite matches and attention to entertain themselves with. Guys want to fuck all the time. Girls want to fuck like 2 days a month and the rest of the time they want to collect options and absorb attention. So you want to develop a system to avoid having your time wasted.

Girls know if they'll fuck you or not. They won't tell you though, so you have to sort them out without wasting time.

Girls have 3 levels of swiping:
1. Swipe left because the guy is ugly, uninteresting, or looks potentially creepy.
2. Swipe right because the guy is roughly at her level and she wants to know if they will match (validation) or can absorb some attention even though she's got better options
3. Right swipe because its a guy she'd actually bang if he's interested in her.

You need to figure out which of the three you are.

You don't need to see women "as a person," in this situation, you need to see them as as number or prospect to be nurtured. A girl isn't a prospective "match" or "date" just because you both swiped right. You shouldn't even consider them viable until they've sent a couple of messages that say more than "How are you?" Nurture the ones that show positive signs. Prune the ones that don't.

On tinder, a girls enthusiasm, quality of message, and response time should always be roughly equal to yours or better. That's your sign that she's viable. If it's not, you're wasting your time. If she doesn't want to meet in the next 3 days, she's not gonna wanna meet in 2 weeks. She's raping your time. Don't spend energy though trying to nice-guy talk a girl into liking you. It wastes your time, and lowers the relative value of attention in the marketplace.

She isn't vetting you. You aren't building trust. She's using you as a distraction and comfort source while she scouts for someone she actually wants to get fucked by.

Understand:
You aren't going to talk a girl into liking you online if she's not interested. In person, you can be charming or an ass and you can go up-or-down a woman's scale on how interested she is. Online, she has a rough idea of how interesting you look, and you can only really go down. Unless she googles you and sees you're a millionaire, the only thing that can really happen online is you fuckup and say something that makes a girl disqualify you. There is no going up.

There are 2 rules on tinder.

Don't invest time in someone that's obviously not sending energy back. (Sends short replies with no effort. Or takes hours to respond.)
If a girl sends energy back, move to the date and don't fuck it up.

Match. Make a light attempt at banter. If you get something back, try to get a phone number and setup a date within 72 hours. If you aren't making plans in the first half dozen messages, you're doing it wrong.

Don't waste time and energy on a girl that clearly is just seeking validation. Ask for the date/number, move on if you don't get it or don't get something playful or flirtatious.
Don't fuck it up by waiting too long.
Don't fuck it up by sexualizing through text or being obnoxious or overtly sexual. If girls are looking to get laid, they'll make it known and you can match that energy. Otherwise, just stay calm and let girls talk themselves into it.

As a guy, your job is to look attractive, project calm stability, and gently guide the interaction towards escalation without being creepy or clumsy. Slow steady traction.

Edit: Remember. Pimpin is a contact sport. Play the numbers.

ogsimpology · 2022-01-29T17:55:24+00:00

Well it doesn't. Dating apps are the worst things humans invented.

lissssa-13 · 2022-01-29T19:10:37+00:00

Ya the photo is probably the most honest part of the profile, and it’s likely edited and at a deceptive angle. Im not sure what’s surprising in learning that picking someone out of a catalog based on their looks is not a great set up for a successful relationship. It’s possible but I wouldn’t assume it to be in any way likely.

figuringMylife · 2022-01-29T16:07:52+00:00

if you see a woman the same way you see a man up i’ll give less fucks and talk to her as you’d talk to any man. thus, she’ll be interested as she’s not on a sex pedestal.

if you objectify her, most men on the app are also doing that - so now you’re competing with every other man, and she will now go fuck a chad. because if all the men are objectifying her, may as well fuck the hottest one.

sootlord · 2022-01-29T19:35:09+00:00

Tinder is for Chad and Stacey

Slootando · 2022-01-29T16:32:42+00:00

You don’t need to “see women as a person first” in person either to be successful with them. Chads certainly don’t. By their revealed preferences, women rather enjoy being sex objects. Hence why women love wearing stuff like low cut tops and yoga pants, and why they’re always posting bikini pics and lingerie shots on social media and online dating.

wtknight · 2022-01-29T16:59:11+00:00

Tinder is no different than real life. One always sees how someone looks before interacting with them and finding out more about their personal preferences and their conversation style, like how one might discover more about people on Tinder by reading their profile and interacting with them by text.

If people are just judging based upon pictures, it's no different than what they would do when meeting someone in person. It's not something inherent to the app to be superficial. Plenty of women will next a guy in a real life cold approach just based upon looks, too, just like swiping left on Tinder.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-01-29T17:44:07+00:00

Tinder is as close to "real life" as you can get. I don't understand the hate from ugly guys acting like they hate tinder cuz they cant get a above average girl... Bro in real life you wouldn't be getting a above average girl either.

It's all about ur looks and what category ur in.

No good looking girl is gonna go with a ugly dude cuz his bio is cool lol

Aiizimor · 2022-01-29T17:02:35+00:00

Tinder isnt worth your time if you dont know how to make a perfect account. You need the right type of pictures and the right type of bio etc etc. The account itself does most of the work

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sarkington · 2022-01-29T16:20:10+00:00

Humans can humanize all sorts of things — animate or inanimate

Attributing personhood to a photo of a human is easy peasy

EviltwinEdgelord · 2022-01-29T17:27:15+00:00

I don't think it holds up on Tinder. I'll be the first to say it's the best way to go about meeting someone, but given the nature of how Tinder works I don't think it's possible

You can get to know someone after the fact, but theres no conceivable way they boiled down their entire personality so consciencely that you knew them from the profile. It's a game of picking out good books based on covers, nothing else. It's all shallow, and that's fine, it's just how it works

MrIrishman1212 · 2022-01-29T18:39:21+00:00

It’s a matter of empathy, communication, and compatibility.

Everyone on tinder is just a person trying to make their way in the world and are using tinder just like you. Are you less of a person because you use tinder (for sexual gratification, finding a serious relationship, or whatever). If you can’t view a person on tinder as a person than can you view a person across the room as a person?

People dress nice at bars and public places for similar reasons. What’s the difference for them making attractive photos for themselves? Unless people dressing nice or going to bars now makes them less as a person
What makes you go up to a stranger in public space, whom you have never met before, less objectified than one who you have only seen their online profile? Depending on the profile sometimes you get more out of the profile. Obviously you have to meet the person to truly get to know them but have more meaningful conversations over an app or texts than most random bar conversations.
Kinda the same as 1 & 2 . People irl are objectified all the time. It is easier to objectify people on the internet/online than it is irl but the principles are the same. Recognize that the other person is a human and not an object. Now this can be exhausting if you have to focus on every single swipe but you can make the same argument about a crowd. Just think: person in picture —> human =/= object.
Same argument as going to a bar to pick up/flirt with someone vs other public places. If you want something more serious there are apps like Hinge and OKCupid. Just because someone is at a club or on tinder or are looking for hookups it doesn’t mean they are less human nor should be objectified
It’s not. Being on tinder doesn’t mean consent just as being at a bar/club doesn’t mean consent. There are plenty of people who don’t want hookups. This is where communication is important, you have to get consent. You can open with a flirty one liner online or at a bar and get similar results depending on the person receiving and how you present it. You can get rejected or they flirt back.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-01-29T19:45:57+00:00

It doesn't work, it's just gaslighting from women who are tired of getting pumped and dumped by Chads and Calebs. Women are extremely attracted to sexist men, attractive men are simply sexist in a way that turns women on.

appropriate-username · 2022-01-29T20:16:07+00:00

Via conversation that comes after a match.

OfCatandPagan · 2022-01-29T20:53:53+00:00

I don't use Tinder so can someone actually explain this app to me like I'm a Martian who got stuck on this shit covered ball of dirt?

princesssbrooklynn · 2022-01-29T16:59:13+00:00

I wasn’t aware that tinder is what they advertised in those “meet hot singles in your area who wanna f” advertisements on porn sites

PutthegundownRobby · 2022-01-29T19:19:21+00:00

If you see people as humans first you don't go on Tinder and you don't seek hookups. Tinder is a site for garbage-tier human beings.

Title	How does the "you need to see women as a person first" work on Tinder?
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	45
Comments	83
Date	January 29, 2022 3:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sfkzy5/how_does_the_you_need_to_see_women_as_a_person/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-does-the-you-need-to-see-women-as-a-person.1099075 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099075

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