How do you remove a guy from your life when you see him everyday?

Sunshine_Daisies2525 · 2022-02-12T14:02:05+00:00

Ice-ice baby.

Treat him cold like you’re trying to save the polar bears. See through him like he’s windex. Always makes me feel great. Nothing hurts a guy’s ego like a girl who doesn’t give an f- especially if he’s popular.

The best way to engage with any type of immaturity is to not. A lot of it is feeling like you have to be polite, say hi, care at all. Just don’t!

Edit: I do want to say- it’s totally fine and natural to have leftover feelings. Just don’t show him anything. Your feelings are for you to sort out by yourself at home, in a healthy way (journaling, therapy, yoga).

lolmemberberries · 2022-02-12T16:06:06+00:00

Ice him out. Don't react, don't engage, don't contact.

aeorimithros · 2022-02-12T18:52:48+00:00

Ice him out and journal/therapy/mindfulness/handle your own shit with your emotional reaction (with kindness but stop being wrapped up in being the tortured hero of unrequited love. This is also known as having self respect, you deserve someone who had time and will treat you right.

It'll hurt like fuck, it'll be thrown in your face and you might break down a couple of times. But as you actively choose to get over him it gets easier.

One day you'll wake up and realise he doesn't mean anything to you.

Advice from someone who had an emotional affair with a married guy who I couldn't avoid having to see regularly. He's now just 'some guy' I used to be close with, took less than a year.

hope-wallace · 2022-02-12T14:05:03+00:00

Google "grey rock". If you encounter him, keep your responses short and be boring on purpose so you can disengage over time.

crafeminist · 2022-02-12T17:35:04+00:00

What helps me is watching cord cutting videos. It’s a type of magic spell to cut the cord between two people. They have two candles with a string and they say a prayer and burn the candles until the string catches and burns the “connection.” I watch them and imagine it’s being done for me and the person I can’t get over.

PenelopePitstop21 · 2022-02-12T15:50:49+00:00

Are you saying that you are utterly done with this scrote, can't stand the sight of him, but he is around so you need some tools to deal with him when you bump into him?

Or are you saying every time you see him you crush on him again, or it reminds you that you still have feelings for this guy?

Because the two situations require very different tools.

In the first instance, if you can't block and delete then you work a grey rock on him.

However, in the second you need to work on yourself to get over this situationship. You have to work out your feelings and work on your self-esteem. Journalling, affirmations, spending time with friends who love and value you for yourself, not because you do things for them. Concentrating on doing the best you can in your course and getting good grades. In the words of the song from South Pacific, you've got to wash that man right out of your hair.

FI-REfox · 2022-02-12T17:34:28+00:00

I have also been in this position -- being in an on-again-off-again relationship with someone I had to work with and couldn't avoid. When I was alone, it was easy to remember all of the shitty things he said and did that made me feel terrible and regret ever having met him. But as soon as I saw him or heard his voice, a lot of my good sense just melted away.

You need to avoid him as much as possible until these feelings dissipate (and they will, because they are not based on reciprocal love). And when you can't avoid him, remind yourself of what an asshole he is. Like other posters have suggested, keep a journal and list the things he's done/said that make you feel bad about yourself: negs, dismissive comments, behaviours towards other women, actions that show you his selfishness, cruelty or callousness. I can tell you that every time I've reviewed my own list, I feel embarrassed and kick myself for not having cut him out of my life right from the beginning. Read it as often as you need to to remind yourself whenever you need that this guy ain't shit. Download an empowering breakup playlist and listen to it when you walk around campus.

If you're missing the attention/affection, look into athletic clubs or social activities on campus that you can do to keep yourself occupied and away from this loser. Talk to a trusted professor about opportunities in their department for volunteering or employment. Check out what's available in the community around the school -- an animal shelter can be a great place to find some meaningful volunteer work and show affection to a hairy animal that's actually deserving of it.

You can and will get thru this part, it just sucks until you do, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this at school when you're trying to prepare yourself for your future. Just remember why you're there and that in 10 years you won't even remember his name. <3

candyfox84 · 2022-02-12T19:04:30+00:00

To be honest, I sometimes think it’s just hormones. It was soooo hard for me to get over my crushes when I was in my early 20s. Now Im 37 and it’s so much easier, just kind of stick to the facts of what a man has to offer. If he’s not showing interest, I just stop caring. But I think my hormones are more even keeled than when I was younger. Don’t beat yourself up too much. It’s a university so try to open up your social network to other groups & activities, meeting new people will help, if COVID restrictions allow where you live! Good luck sis, you got this!

Vaahla · 2022-02-12T15:27:01+00:00

Harden your heart, he’s got power over you.

Get angry.

You need to get frosty and ice him out until you don’t have to interact for school anymore.

Dig deep, why are you pining for this man? Why is he on a pedestal for you? Cut it off at the source.

XMochiixMochiiX · 2022-02-12T14:35:06+00:00

Just totally ignore him unless you need to and don't talk to him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

queen_azulaa · 2022-02-12T15:39:00+00:00

It takes time to move one from someone so give yourself that. Meditation helps in observing your thoughts. You'll notice when youre thinking of him, accept that you miss him, and let your rational mind explain to you why its not a healthy relationship. Accept what was lacking in your life that he was fulfilling and find those things else when youre ready. Its really like weaning off an addiction. Cigarettes were a social point for most people and hanging outside the smoking area vs spending time in the breakroom both fulfilled that social piece to help these types of smokers quit.

If you start daydreaming of what could've been, a list of things he did wrong, red flags, boundaries crossed, and incompatibilities will wake you up from dreamland. I use a Google Keep widget on my home screen.

It all starts in the mind 😊 You start seeing him for what he really is and his presence will start to... piss you off 🤭🤭 And forgive yourself. What has happened only taught you lessons to build a better you. 💖

2022-02-12T22:18:41+00:00

Ignore him, if he tried to talk to you act busy and cold.

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2022-02-12T20:01:17+00:00

Every time he interacts with you talk about the dates and other guys you’ve been seeing. He won’t wanna talk to you anymore.

salthoney · 2022-02-12T15:37:26+00:00

When you say brings back everything, do you mean feelings for him? I feel like that makes a big difference…

Title	How do you remove a guy from your life when you see him everyday?
Author	Lightningxxx
Upvotes	157
Comments	48
Date	February 12, 2022 1:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sqrsa5/how_do_you_remove_a_guy_from_your_life_when_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-remove-a-guy-from-your-life-when-you.1101089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101089

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