Q4W: What are your thoughts on meeting men tipsy/drunk?

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-08-23T12:54:36+00:00

I don’t view it like that. Having alcohol in your system doesn’t mean you can’t consent. Being on the verge of passing out, barely able to talk or stand would be concerning to me.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-08-23T12:55:49+00:00

I’ve always thought it depends on the drunkenness of both people. If both people are stumbling and can’t speak no one was raped. Waking up and regretting it isn’t rape. If one was extremely drunk and the other was tipsy I see that as taking advantage (both genders). People still meet at bars and stuff and usually people I see leaving together are the same amount of drunk.

I personally never drink to a point where I’m a mess, and if I did my girlfriends would never let me leave with someone. I’ve definitely given my number to someone I wouldn’t have if I was sober though lmao

Lisavela · 2022-08-23T17:30:56+00:00

Having some alcohol in your system doesn’t mean you can’t consent but when you reach a level of intoxication that you can barely function that’s when you can’t consent. I personally don’t drink so can’t neccesarily talk too much on this topic

BlueMountainDace · 2022-08-23T13:09:23+00:00

In the real world absolutely no one is crying rape if she hooks up while a bit tipsy. Like others said, they're talking about these cases where the girl is blackout drunk and a guy has his way with her.

The guys on this sub just use the consent thing as an excuse to avoid socializing and talking to normal women in normal scenarios. They don't actually believe the girl will cry rape, they're just terrified of experiencing social discomfort or rejection.

EulenWatcher · 2022-08-23T13:01:03+00:00

It's rape, if one party is unconscious or so drunk they can't comprehend what's happening to them and therefore give their consent while the other party takes advantage of it. But I'd guess most people don't drink to this stage nor they want to fuck others who are in this stage.

I'm also not sure what's a legal take on these matters, as the laws seem to be really different depending on the region we're talking about.

Personally ONSs aren't something I'd ever do and I almost never drink outside of my home.

HappilyMrs · 2022-08-23T13:19:58+00:00

I've been married a long time, but if I had to date again I wouldn't be drinking. I am sure most guys aren't going to take advantage of a drunk woman, but I'd rather not find out the hard way that I found one that would

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-08-23T13:24:40+00:00

I have never met a man that led to sex any other way lol you morons are trying to get laid stone cold sober

Acaciduh · 2022-08-23T13:26:33+00:00

Older millennial here and I agree this was the standard way everyone met and hooked up - bars and clubs. It’s the one place everyone agrees it’s acceptable to cold approach. Even if you’re there as a women and not looking you expect men to hit on you so it’s fine and a lot different then getting hit on at some grocery store. Most women go in groups as that’s the safest and if I was ever that sloppy drunk didn’t happen often but can’t say it never happened - fuck you jager 😂 then you’re friends will absolutely not leave you with some random guy. I think most people do not agree that you can’t consent when not typsy - that’s absolutely acceptable - it’s when either party is falling down, black out drunk that’s not - you can’t consent then.

ImAGhostOooooooo · 2022-08-23T14:59:13+00:00

29F

Being at a bar is the best way to meet men for casual hook ups. I personally never took someone home the first night I met them because I'm scared of STDs, but it is a GREAT place to meet people casually. I would meet someone at the bar and meet up with them a time or two to see if I still liked them, then I would sleep with them lol.

A majority of the hook ups I had were while I had been drinking. You can be drunk and still be coherent and consnsent. If you can't stand up, can't walk, can't see straight, are confused, on the verge of passing out, then you're way passed drunk and should go home.

BlueMountainDace · 2022-08-23T13:22:33+00:00

There's no correct answer which is why threads like this go round in circles infinitely.

There's a scale between sober and too drunk to consent, and you need to make sure the person isnt on the other end. If you're unsure, don't tap that.

If both people are drunk, it's fine - and this is how most club hook ups happen.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-08-23T17:50:20+00:00

Most of my friends regret their drunk ons even years later, which is why I don’t see it as the right thing to do. If you just share contacts while being drunk, that’s fine. I don’t drink so this hasn’t been relevant for me.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-08-23T13:09:37+00:00

No meeting a ONS at a party or otherwise while drinking is completely standard and normal. The idea of not having social lubricant in such a situation makes me unfathomably anxious.

Edit - I guess it would be sus if he was not drinking at all, or as others have suggested, if she was so wasted to the point of being sick or passed out.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-23T15:17:15+00:00

I definitely wouldn't recommend it and can't see it ending well, at least when drunk rather than just tipsy. Simply meeting when drunk is fine if it's just meeting and I don't think there's much that can go wrong than that (Mr Philosopher was a bit drunk when I met him come to think of it). Having sex when one person is drunk can be rape but only if one person is at a point where they're obviously not in control of their decisions and the other clearly is and is pushing them into it. Or if they've simply let the other person know beforehand they don't want to fuck drunk.

TheMedsPeds · 2022-08-24T01:14:24+00:00

Lol “young folk”, I’m the same age as you btw. But yeah, I guess I’m with you. When I was trying the whole casual sex thing back in like 2006-2009 before I admitted to myself I was on the asexual spectrum, none of those encounters probably would have happened if I didn’t drink. Now I wasn’t like fall down black out wasted, but I def was tipsy.

Bekiala · 2022-08-23T12:49:18+00:00

I wouldn't think it would necessarily count as rape but it sure sounds a bit iffy. However, casual sex always seems a bit risky for many reasons.

george__whorewell · 2022-08-23T17:28:47+00:00

As a woman, I won't have sex with people who are drunk. If we've both had a few drinks and are just a bit tipsy then I don't see a problem, but having sex with someone who is blackout drunk is rape. It doesn't matter if they consented if they have no idea what's going on around them. Besides, when you are drunk at a club or bar, your friends should NOT let you go home with a stranger (male OR female, it doesn't matter. My friends make sure that everybody in our friend group is safe, regardless of gender).

AutoModerator · 2022-08-23T12:46:02+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-08-23T13:02:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sarkington · 2022-08-23T14:20:40+00:00

Like many things, the benefits currently outweigh the risks

ruboyuri · 2022-08-23T14:56:16+00:00

It saves more than it rapes

greedyleopard42 · 2022-08-23T16:20:59+00:00

tipsy is okay. enough to make you less nervous and more comfortable. stumbling and confusion is when it’s a problem

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-08-23T16:28:21+00:00

Bars/Clubs are ok way to meet women. But your results may vary based on a few factors. Such as the ratio, your attractiveness, etc... If you are attractive, have money, or somewhere with great ratio bars and clubs are great. Women come up to you, are open to being approached, etc... But if you are not attractive, do not have money or the ratio is skewed to mostly men(Most Clubs) your odds start falling rapidly.

It's also being in the right place at the right time. Most women are not at the club to bring a guy home. Their just out for fun. There are a few there looking for ONS. Although definitely the minority. You need to be strategic or lucky in isolating the few women who are open to a ONS.

If you go to a club and not 1 women is looking at you/making eye contact. You probably need to put in some work and try again in 6 months. Don't go when your ugly or average looking with no game. Super demoralizing.

2022-08-23T16:46:41+00:00

It is a thing but you have to be very cautious because you can definitely get accused.

BlueMountainDace · 2022-08-24T14:49:45+00:00

I think covid-19 has made it more difficult for those kinds of events, but it seems many people that struggle with dating overlap with introverted or socially awkward people.

Men that target drunk girls every weekend are usually pretty gross and sleazy but those guys are welcome to spend time at drinking events trying to get girls.

I personally have tried alcohol and hate it - thus most drinking events don't interest me.

Title	Q4W: What are your thoughts on meeting men tipsy/drunk?
Author	BlueMountainDace
Upvotes	12
Comments	100
Date	August 23, 2022 12:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wvnwnj/q4w_what_are_your_thoughts_on_meeting_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-are-your-thoughts-on-meeting-men.1128303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128303

Comments