Is it just me or does arguing with incels on this subreddit feel like your takeing a step backwards in your recovery process.

lilchapo97 · 2022-12-29T18:17:05+00:00

You're definitely not alone. It's hard to help someone who's given up on themselves.

domitori3 · 2022-12-29T18:28:05+00:00

They are very set in their ways and expect you to fix them. I've learned not to debate with people who don't want to change by themselves.

mikayrodr · 2022-12-29T19:38:14+00:00

As a woman I get frustrated that when I tell them how I, A WOMAN, actually feel they tell me no women feels that way. Do red pill people even like women at this point? It’s frustrating.

fathergoose77 · 2022-12-29T19:17:23+00:00

I’ve noticed arguing with these types of folks can definitely make me feel angry and disappointed especially when it is clear they are not actually seeking help and are committed to wallowing. As a man who has done a lot of self-work and seen a lot of growth in myself and my mental health, I have a desire to help out young men struggling with these issues, but you can only do so much if they don’t want to listen.

I think what bothers me the most is when I see guys complain about “no one cares about me” and “there are no more male role models or older men I can talk to about my problems”. I see this and have been taking my personal time out of my life to try to give bits of maybe helpful words here and there, but then they don’t want that either.

For the sake of my own mental health, I make an effort to only continue conversations with those who seem willing to learn or at least question incel perspectives, otherwise it is a waste of my time and effort to argue with someone who just wants to argue for the sake of it.

Plus, a lot of the arguing is lonely young boys looking for some kind of semblance of human interaction and feeling like they’re apart of something. So I remind myself that when I am feeling discouraged.

Definitely take a break from spaces like this when you need to. It’s difficult to constantly be exposed by so much negativity, which is how a lot of these dudes are living constantly in echo chamber incel spaces.

We need to be mindful to also step out and touch grass sometimes when we need to haha

Stargazer1919 · 2022-12-29T19:01:27+00:00

No and yes.

I feel bad for them because they are clearly low self esteem and Uber depressed. That very quickly turns to anger after talking to them for more than a minute. They have their own unique vocabulary and they like to do the Gish gallop to overwhelm you with unprovable bullshit. You can’t debate with them because they just change what words mean to fit their argument.

I’ve never met one in real life, so that is at least comforting.

SweelFor- · 2022-12-29T21:03:50+00:00

Within their first two or three comments, you can tell which posters are asking questions because they want help, and which posters are asking questions because they want to "debate" and keep their position no matter what.

As soon as you notice they're the second kind, it's best to not keep the discussion going. Not everyone is ready to question themselves, and forcing them does not work.

Supershinobi3 · 2022-12-29T18:44:43+00:00

It's just that actual reality hasn't hit them yet and they're living in their made up reality of what the redpill has told them that's why they're this arguing incels

2022-12-29T18:00:55+00:00

It will almost always be because they're sorta fighting you over perspectives that are often clouded by cognitive distortions and biases and they just can't see it yet. We all will have issues with those things, but there is often a bigger list of them among those who do that and don't seek out professional assistance (and think they're "fine"). Don't even try. Just block and move on.

Moretocome212 · 2022-12-30T15:00:48+00:00

I agree , I only pop up when I see someone over the hill so to speak and are ready to listen otherwise I fear being dragged back

2022-12-29T22:26:41+00:00

The frustrating part of this sub is that so few guys seeking help are actually practicing redpillers. There are a lot of incels who need deprogrammed too, but most of the guys who come here aren't the guys who go out and use tactics and abuse women. The few who do are usually pretty open to change, which is great, but the vast majority of guys coming here are shut-ins who believe some stuff some red-pill gurus said in some videos, but have never put any of it into practice.

Ultimately the majority of guys who actually practice red-pill tactics don't come to a place like this as they quit, if they do quit. Some incels do, but this place isn't really set up to help them. I don't think it's all bad. I've seen some incel guys slowly take in the advice that's being shouted at them. I think that makes a difference for them, even if it's a very slow recovery.

DetermineAssurance · 2022-12-29T22:50:02+00:00

The Black Pill is the new Red Pill.

BlackPillers come from an even worse place than RedPillers but their ideas have conquered the internet. It may be harder to help BlackPillers but this is the actual demographics that needs help today, few young men get into PUA and Red Pill as opposed to to the Black Pill today.

You can look at what trends on YouTube. In the early 2010s, PUAs video dominated the platform when it came to male dating advice, we had RSD at the top. Now the YouTube scene for male dating advice is dominated by BlackPillers who preach de-motivation and lookism, PUAs have lost all their appeal to men. I blame dating apps for this change. Red Pillers at least preached going out, focuding on self-improvement, you still had to interact with the real world, Black Pill doesn't even have that. BlackPillers are the ones who need the most help today, they shouldn't be left on their own.

OddPreparation3247 · 2022-12-30T13:48:50+00:00

It is because most of them (RP/Incel) guys have more serious issues than simply "not getting any". When you talk to them there are ALWAYS hints of some issue: they say RP/BlckP stuff but they will drop hints in there about a loss of a friend, being abused, experiencing violence, being unemployed, being treated badly by their family, being seriously ill, experiencing racism. They are probably not able to talk about those things with anybody because nobody cares. So they post incel rants because this way someone will at least react to their issues without being condescending or simply saying "life is not fair". They prefer to be hated from being invisible.

And this is another thing: they really ARE ignored, their REAL issues ARE invisible to most people. Many of those issues are there PRECISELY because they are men (experiencing violence comes to mind). And all they hear is "pull yourself together". Many times their problems will be glossed over. I've seen women write to those people that "not being able to get laid" is not a serious problem. Well, I think "inceldom" is just a compact idea to compress all your other problems in.

I suppose many will think that I make excuses for them. Perhaps it is true, but tbh I can relate to them and I feel much compassion towards many of them because there are some serious life hardships they are trying to hide.

InnsmouthMotel · 2022-12-30T15:07:39+00:00

Just to clarify, redpill is different from incel

Nightchanger · 2022-12-30T01:13:04+00:00

Can you give an example?

Title	Is it just me or does arguing with incels on this subreddit feel like your takeing a step backwards in your recovery process.
Author	DefiantLiterature144
Upvotes	30
Comments	207
Date	December 29, 2022 5:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/zybc2l/is_it_just_me_or_does_arguing_with_incels_on_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-it-just-me-or-does-arguing-with-incels-on-this.1145328 https://theredarchive.com/post/1145328

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