Wife wants a divorce; once the paper work is filed, I know everything will go to hell. How do you survive the process with nowhere else to go?

Lenten_Sausage · 2023-03-21T17:29:15+00:00

Get ready for an an incoming Temporary Restraining Order request from your wife to the court to evict you from the house and restrain you from the kids.

2ndChance_1stMistake · 2023-03-21T17:32:12+00:00

Hit first.

Ex parte order giving you exclusive use of the house and a emergency custody declaration.

sicrm · 2023-03-21T17:57:21+00:00

1) don’t leave the home unless literally it’s by cops or an order. willingly leaving can be viewed as abandonment and cost you in the divorce.

2) have a place you can go if needed. even if it’s just a coach you can crash on.

derelictherds · 2023-03-21T17:37:09+00:00

With that being said we will not be able to live together during this.

Why? in-house separation while divorce is in progress is quite common.

Get in front of all of this by hiring a lawyer and filing for divorce.

ranger69danger · 2023-03-21T18:33:53+00:00

Do not leave your home voluntarily.

Get your income into your own personal control (separate accounts) immediately before she files. Get as much financially (bills) coming from shared funds rather than directly from your personal monies NOW, before she files.

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-03-21T17:49:39+00:00

Bank accounts and your credit cards and your direct deposit paycheck get em in your hands today. Literally these things happen within a single work day. You won't be the first to come home to an empty trashed house and you wont be the last. File first get as much of the court on your side as you possibly can.

anotheraccount741 · 2023-03-21T18:45:03+00:00

I can't stress how important it is to take care of all the kids' activities. If you expect 50/50 when you're done and divorced, who is going to take the kids to school on your time?

Complicatedlogic · 2023-03-21T22:21:34+00:00

Go grey rock, deal with your emotions, hire a lawyer. I didn’t go through the exact same thing, but something similar with her thinking she could get whatever she wanted and could basically torment me til I fell apart.

Well, my first judge (a woman) was not biased at all and was on my side. To the point where my ex thought I must know this woman. She didn’t realize she really wasn’t entitled to everything she thought she was. Sounds like you’re dealing with the same.

Deal with that anger. Learn to sit still when she pushes those buttons. She’s going to want you to do something stupid for more leverage. She’s in survival mode, you should be as well. You want to get her back, live well and in time try to find some happiness.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2023-03-21T18:23:02+00:00

When ever you are at the house have your cell phone recording. Audio as a minimum, and preferably video. Save all recording to the cloud. You might need them later to prove you didn't assault her.

If you can, move into a basement room and get video cameras for the room. Put a keyed lock on the door.

Get a PO Box and have all your mail delivered there.

Check out Grey Rock. Be stoic.

You got this brother. Stay strong.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-03-22T07:30:49+00:00

Two kinds of cheaters, those who feel guilty and those who become indignant. Seems like you've got the latter. Expect some early fireworks that will hopefully peter out if she sticks with the AP and realizes that it's not about punishing her or revenge.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-03-22T11:16:19+00:00

> With that being said we will not be able to live together during this.

Bullshit. Many men continue to live in the marital residence during the divorce. Here's why: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622

I did it for 12 months. It was key for me to achieve everything I wanted in the divorce.

FuckMatias · 2023-03-26T10:39:27+00:00

Ok, alternative advice to what gets thrown around.

Sit quietly.

Don’t let her know you know. She’s been planning on an exit so you might as well plan yours too. Gather any and all evidence you can. Log everything (when she doesn’t come home, or comes home late). If in a 1 party consent state record everything. Track bank statements and spending. Open a new account that she doesn’t know about (do NOT fill it) put the minimum in there and when the trigger is pulled change your direct deposit to that account and transfer half of any joint accounts to it. This will all be time stamped so you won’t have to worry about splitting this account or her draining it. If you’re in the better position to handle debt move all debt payments to minimum (when it goes down she’s taking half the debt with her).

Do not be rude/mean. Remember you’re documenting all communication and recording all conversation.

If she’s in a full on affair let her think she has you fooled. She will want out quickly to get to her new guy. She will be less likely to fight on things. Get the ink dry then put her on blast!

Title	Wife wants a divorce; once the paper work is filed, I know everything will go to hell. How do you survive the process with nowhere else to go?
Author	RichardCleveland
Upvotes	15
Comments	45
Date	March 21, 2023 5:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/11xnclg/wife_wants_a_divorce_once_the_paper_work_is_filed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-wants-a-divorce-once-the-paper-work-is-filed.1186814 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186814

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