Men's difficulty in dating benefits them in the long run

PoliticsIsBroken · 2021-03-27T14:58:03+00:00

"here's why being sexually deprived in your youth and being settled for later for your money is a good thing!"

No. Nobody says you have to wife up every person you date. The issue is a lot of men can't even get to the dating part. They don't even have the option.

stats135 · 2021-03-27T15:24:31+00:00

I came of age in the early 2000s, and most of the guys I've known, and most of the people in my social circle, seemed to have married the person they dated in college. For many of them, the person they married was the first person they dated (both men and women). A lot of them are struggling in their relationships now if they aren't already divorced. Only a few seem to be succeeding, but I definitely don't envy them, few of them are high on the attraction scale.

Had and lost is better than never having at all. I'd much rather have a young attractive wife for 20 years and have my 50% change at getting divorce raped than to be jacking myself off for 20 years, never having a relationship with young attractive women. People choose to struggle in their relationships instead of leaving because its actually worth the struggle when they are with people high on the attraction scale.

Because women are not settling for these betas, the betas are given the time (which can sometimes be a few decades) to mature and develop into their potential. A bad relationship or marriage can keep someone (man or woman) from reaching their potential.

Having a bad sex life is as bad as, if not worse than a bad relationship. In a bad relationship, men sink time and resources into a woman that is at least fucking them. Betas, having a bad sex life, are sinking time and resources into women they can only hope would fuck them.

Men have to adapt to this norm by doing something to make themselves more desirable to women, or else they really have to lower their standards.

Sadly the things that are attractive to women, actually makes you worse off. EX: Spending money is way more sexy than saving and investing.

I feel as though I have repeated this point several times now and so I will stop, but my overall conclusion is, for the guys who would put a ring on the first girl who goes on a date with him, the difficulties his generation face today are helping him prevent making a mistake, giving him the necessary time to mature to the point where he is less likely to make a mistake.

I feel like we are working on a different definition of beta, or a different set of values. Good relationship with a young attractive woman> Bad relationship with young attractive women > Good relationship with post-wall used goods > Bad relationship with post-wall used goods. The pros of bad relationship to good relationship is minuscule compared to the massive con of being with a young attractive women change to post-wall used goods.

Sir_manalot · 2021-03-27T17:19:14+00:00

This is a ridiculous post, countless assumptions.

You're assuming every beta male will improve himself or turn into a quality man.

Also... you're ignoring all the damage done to girls from being with so many different men & beta men from all the mental health issues or resentment that comes with being treated like **** by average girls while they all cry & complain about a 9/10 guy pumping & dumping them

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-03-27T13:58:33+00:00

Buddy, this is delusional.

Beta Billy does not get any benefit. He waits for the girl of his dreams to come along, and when she comes around with a 20+ N count he marries her.

EusticeSymington · 2021-03-27T14:29:48+00:00

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abaxeron · 2021-03-27T21:25:03+00:00

One crucial detail is missed: those "undesirable beta males" will not be left to "improve themselves" instead of providing for their golddigger gf/wife; they will be forced to provide for the state. Every time the state intoduces some incentives "to support families", it's a thinly veiled bachelor tax.

wtknight · 2021-03-27T14:14:57+00:00

Men are concerned about getting a woman's "sexual best." Many are getting into poor relationships whether they find a woman while they are young or when they are older. If it happens when they're older, though, she has already had sex with higher value men, will be an "alpha widow," and will be less likely to stay loyal in a relationship or marriage. If they get into relationships with more chaste women when they are younger, though, she is more likely to stay loyal because she has never been with men who she is more attracted to who were ultimately out of her league.

The best course, of course, is for men to improve themselves to improve their sexual prospects and their relationship prospects while they are still young. But if men choose to sit on their asses and to not improve, then it benefits them more to have a poor relationship with a younger, less sexually experienced woman than a poor relationship with an older, more sexually experienced woman, although I agree that this is not ideal if she is never fully attracted to him.

The only way that it would benefit a man to have difficulty dating is if he can improve himself enough when he is older that he is able to attract younger, less experienced women, but I don't think that the highest value women want anything to do with older men until they are older themselves, so a man at this age is only going to be able to attract less valuable younger women, which still might be preferable to attracting older women who have ridden the CC and who are post-wall or close to it, but is still not ideally preferable. What is ideal for a man is being as high value as he can while still young. Difficulty dating at any age is not a benefit, but should always be an indicator to a man to immediately start improving his own value.

wtknight · 2021-03-27T14:30:48+00:00

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bowserfire73 · 2021-03-27T19:33:22+00:00

You are assuming that average and below men are missing bad relationships and end up in a good one. What really happens is they miss out on some bad relationships but still end up in a betabucks situation. Men are still getting a bad deal, they are just missing out on the fun before hand.

Pilling_it · 2021-03-27T20:05:43+00:00

Oh boy, that's gonna be a fun one.

A lot of men on the internet complain about the difficulty of finding matches or dates, either through OLD (online dating) or inability to approach and secure dates IRL.

The only place a man can complain is on the internet. Old is worthless if you're not in a percentile looks wise, workplace is a hell fucking no, once you're done with college it's much harder with the bar/parties. That leave mostly friends of friends.

This is actually a good thing!

Give it a shot someday, you can tell us how it was.

Men who can pick and choose among a variety of women will always have an advantage over men who have to go with any woman who will settle for him.

So water is wet? Also, going with the first woman settling for you is a recipe for disaster.

With young women now NOT settling with beta males, those betas are free from the poor relationships that result from the redpill "beta bucks" (taken with a grain of salt, since a lot of men don't even have the bucks anymore) partnership.

Beta bucks happen after they're young. Not only they're not young anymore (which mean poor care start to really show), but also men will be less horny than they were while younger.

I came of age in the early 2000s, and most of the guys I've known, and most of the people in my social circle, seemed to have married the person they dated in college.

Fair considering what I said above. Doesn't seem like a trend that's going to be a thing from now on.

For many of them, the person they married was the first person they dated (both men and women). A lot of them are struggling in their relationships now if they aren't already divorced. Only a few seem to be succeeding, but I definitely don't envy them, few of them are high on the attraction scale.

Case per case basis there, there can be many things as to why it's failing though.

How many divorces and bad relationships are the result of people coupling and staying together because they don't think they have any other choice?

More like it's comfort, fear to be alone and laziness to take decisions that have consequences. That's also what a man get when he gives everything to the first woman giving him the time of the day.

Your normal beta male today is having a hard time securing a long-term marriage prospect because of the trend of dating around reaching lower SMV levels.

Beta and alpha are a spectrum on each rather than a box for each well defined on a big cliché, which is the feeling you give off by the way you word it. But that's also the assumptions they are looking for marriage at all.

Because more lower SMV women think they have options (whether real or imagined), these guys are inadvertently dodging bullets.

It's easier to chase the fun rather to look at what men want in a relationship vs for sex because it's way harder. Also, that's assuming these guys would get in a relationship with her, which is obviously not the case. That's just rationalization for a lack of success. Give anyone the choice, and they'll all chose to have options.

This is because your typical bluepilled beta male will hang onto a bad relationship because he inwardly fears he will never be able to get another.

People thing, not a gender thing. Although yes, when you're using the wrong rulebook, you're going to be wrong about what isn't working in the relationship.

Because women are not settling for these betas, the betas are given the time (which can sometimes be a few decades) to mature and develop into their potential. A bad relationship or marriage can keep someone (man or woman) from reaching their potential.

You need experience to figure how things work. You can get that at 21 like 56 like never.

The redpill relationship strategies should be giving betas more experience with more women, the bluepill strategy is to lockdown a girl as fast as possible.

And when you've locked down a specific girl, even with no experience, good luck figuring out what you did wrong when it goes haywire.

Girls are forcing the redpill worldview on men by not allowing them to lock them down. Men have to adapt to this norm by doing something to make themselves more desirable to women, or else they really have to lower their standards.

Women do what they feel like doing (feel being the keyword), it's as simple as that.

From years and years of reading asktrp, I've come across many guys who have to be told by 30 different people they should be breaking up with their (clearly) toxic girlfriend. Beta males absolutely struggle to let a girl go.

Riiight, we've never seen the reverse, and generalize from your experience. People thing, not gender thing.

Girls are doing these betas a favor by ending relationships or cutting them off in their infancy because of her perceived options OLD is allowing. I feel as though I have repeated this point several times now and so I will stop, but my overall conclusion is, for the guys who would put a ring on the first girl who goes on a date with him, the difficulties his generation face today are helping him prevent making a mistake, giving him the necessary time to mature to the point where he is less likely to make a mistake. Men's complaints about tough OLD lack perspective and experience.

Yeah, except it's about the blatant difference in lack of treatment.

2021-03-28T01:35:52+00:00

no its not a good thing lol.

teen and young adult men shouldn't have to "put in decades of time to reflect and self improve" lol

disayle32 · 2021-03-27T14:14:51+00:00

With young women now NOT settling with beta males

Like hell they aren't. I know this sub is focused on guys who can't get laid and women with some sort of issue as a big part of the user base, but normal guys are still meeting normal girls getting into normal LTRs even if its not "normal" for this sub.

Only a few seem to be succeeding, but I definitely don't envy them, few of them are high on the attraction scale.

I'm one of those and we're doing better than ok on the attraction scale, and been together almost 30 years. I could easily and I mean easily go the trophy wife route if I so desired and no thanks.

What this reads to me is socially awkward guys who can't get a date from an attractive woman in college can eventually get their shit together. Ok?

Ohmaygahh · 2021-03-27T14:57:30+00:00

I agree with you on the individual level, but like an infection that is never treated, the consequences are starting to show themselves in greater society!

The putrid infection will seep into social services and men bearing the brunt of the burden to keep tax revenues coming in. Oddly enough, it will be the single man that continues to pay the cost of poor decision making by others, and that's just fucking... annoying. There is no escape, there has to be a fair and definitive conversation, a debate to end once and for all how we structure interpersonal relationships.

Thinkingard · 2021-03-27T15:01:36+00:00

Not really. It's more of a risk than anything. You can either take the immediate and instant bet to be sure you end up with something, which is what most people do, or you can hold out and wait for the potential of a greater reward but with no guarantee that you'll end up with anything at all. It's a gamble either way.

The guys that have actually difficulty are probably one or the ones who are just screwed and can't win.

Lao_Shan_Lung · 2021-03-27T17:06:54+00:00

You made a fundamental mistake in the first paragraph. You assume that men who complain about the difficulty of finding matches or dates can choose in a variety of women.

Wrong.

Were do you think that stems from? From their pickiness (it was debunked many times that men are the pickers) or their low SMV?

sirpsychosexy8 · 2021-03-27T18:42:36+00:00

It benfits them the same way a callous on your feet makes it less painful to walk on rocky terrain. In the same way a dollar invested in the stock market grows through compounding over time. It benefits men by teaching them a very painful lesson about the nature of their predicament and one that can eventually allow a man to act autonomously - an adaptation sure but nothing to glorify.

It doesn't benefit society, family, children, traditionally minded women etc. It forces mass adoption of the self-serving approach to relationships, and then their is a contagion effect of that.

For most men not hellbent on self-improvement it is another obstacle to add to the laundry list of requirements to making it in this world. To the self-improvers it is a source of righteous indignation. But our sexuality is stifled massively and a decade or more of yearning for love is a negative reinforcement at the end of the day.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-03-27T19:58:56+00:00

Beta males absolutely struggle to let a girl go. Girls are doing these betas a favor by ending relationships or cutting them off in their infancy because of her perceived options

I agree with this point, but it's like cutting away a cancerous tumor, neither the cancerous person nor the tumor is happy about it.

Yes, overall, health improves in the future. No, it's not fun.

John_Oakman · 2021-03-28T01:33:21+00:00

Misery breaks more characters than it builds, and grinding for better characters through misery is not really that cost effective in the long run...

NockerJoe · 2021-03-27T19:32:14+00:00

Honestly the other big advantage is it builds social experience and emotional resilliance. There are a lot of women in their 30's and beyond who struggle with talking to their partner and initiating romance in the way teenaged boys are expected to be able to in the middle of highschool simply because it was never a skill they had to pay attention to until suddenly they do and they're starting from zero. This is also why a lot of women get broken up by being denied sex or having someone not be interested, whereas most men have to come to terms with that at some point usually a decade or so before they reach that age range.

Being an unsuccessful man sucks. I've been there. Its goddamn awful. But being a successful woman who suddenly stops being successful is probably way worse because you have to deal with the unsuccessful man's burden without any preparation and with a presumption of success still in your mind.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-03-27T18:27:22+00:00

While those relationships you see where they married early, might be breaking up because the guy is too blue pill.

Why are you saying it's not AWALT?

Rollo Tomassi makes the point that splitting women as being high value and low value is a fallacy because the guy says the woman is high value at the start and low value when they divorce.

However, the longer a woman is on the corousel, the more secretive she is sexually and the more split she is with men.

Another thing is women step off the corousel when they want, it's not up to men.

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athrowaway283222 · 2021-03-27T15:06:38+00:00

How can you marry your first gf and also like just less than year into a relationship? You beg the life to spank you basically. I am into a relationship nearly 5 years and still not sure if I will marry or not (that's because of my avoidant personality).

Notsonewguy7 · 2021-03-27T22:29:19+00:00

Interpersonal relationships are not like skills it doesn't accrue value by difficulty.

Or to put it simple: nothing that is difficult in the social realm is worth as much as what is easy in the social realm

KobaLeaderofRedArmy · 2021-03-27T23:08:09+00:00

This is like saying living through a warzone as a child is better than experiencing it as an adult because at least if you get PTSD in childhood you have the chance to spend the rest of your life getting over it

Title	Men's difficulty in dating benefits them in the long run
Author	Thinkingard
Upvotes	7
Comments	109
Date	March 27, 2021 1:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mee71f/mens_difficulty_in_dating_benefits_them_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/mens-difficulty-in-dating-benefits-them-in-the.1187282 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187282

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