The logic of dating: double standards of "satisfying needs". Watching porn.

RabidWench · 2021-02-08T19:26:47+00:00

The logic is there. My question for you (and all of the ladies participating in this sub) would be: is there a single solitary man out there who is worth arguing this point with? If you have to bust out a full blown argument for them, they are already lost.

if you're dating him and this issue arises, do you think he is likely to see the logic of this argument and cease all porn usage?
if he is a friend or family member, is your relationship with this person really worth having this argument?

I can't think of any man I know with whom I might potentially have this conversation and also be worth having it. Can you?

KAT_85 · 2021-02-08T17:17:16+00:00

YES. ^^THIS^^

When you're in a long term relationship, there are sacrifices. The men sacrifice sexual novelty in favor of a deeper relationship with the female partner. Women sacrifice the rush of new attention from an interested man. Both sexual novelty and attention from other men are perks of being single. Women are expected to sit on the sidelines and become old news, yesterday's thrill. We are expected to watch our partner give other women the attention and focus that we once enjoyed and we're not allowed to go out and get some of those thrills for ourselves. Otherwise we're "whores," "thots," etc.

And, no, watching porn isn't the same for women as it is for men. I want to feel special and desired. If he's getting that desire need met elsewhere, I shouldn't be vilified for attracting desire from other men.

Delilahh12345 · 2021-02-08T17:36:43+00:00

If you have to argue with a man about watching porn, you need to break up with him.

BiscuitWoof · 2021-02-09T01:31:23+00:00

Has anyone seen that movie Don Juan? A lot of men believe that watching porn is equivalent to a woman liking romance movies or novels! How is that even comparable? Oh but it is for them. They are both considered ‘fantasy’ (yet one fantasy aka men’s depraved porn watching habits routinely dehumanises objectifies and demeans women and children and is frequently illegal and/or immoral).

ReignOnYou95 · 2021-02-08T18:44:51+00:00

Well if they use the emotionally connected argument, wouldnt just having a one night stand no emotion thing not be considered cheating? While in a relationship of course. It just doesnt make sense.

But Im pretty sure even then if the women in that scenario watched like really hot buff guys only (no porn with women in it) or even just pictures of them he would get incredibly jealous. Especially if she was neglecting him for it and preferred it to having sex with him.

Also I hate it when people recognize that men "have needs" but forget all about what "needs" women have. Its almost like they only care about men and dont acknowledge women.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-02-08T15:38:11+00:00

I really love this. Made me laugh. It's true. I would just love to pull this on a guy.

LadyGrimes · 2021-02-08T21:16:38+00:00

Women can't detach emotionally? LOL I did just that when it came to my porn addicted ex. I was fed up and realized the only way to preserve any ounce of my sanity left was to stop loving and caring about him, and I did. I used him for free weed and free rides to the store through the remainder of what was left before I officially left him behind. I pretended to care until it was no longer worth it to me, not even the free weed or car rides. I said fuck it, I don't need weed and I can walk.

Women can do anything they set their minds to, that's the beauty of it. So when a woman makes the decision that a man is no longer worth trying to "keep" she will let his ass go and he will be none the wiser on that one.

yolosunshine · 2021-02-09T05:27:21+00:00

If you’re arguing with a man he’s prolly already gone.

A discussion is one thing, where either of your base positions may potentially be modified by said discussion.

An argument about something mutually exclusive is a sign he has considered leaving and may be in the process. Because he’s not gonna get that ‘I get porn but she doesn’t get drinks’ deal.

Learningtolove2021 · 2021-02-08T17:31:02+00:00

I had never thought of it this way before but this is 100% spot on.

sarahbae03 · 2021-02-08T21:27:16+00:00

I can't love this more. You are brilliant!

Theboredshrimp · 2021-02-08T17:26:05+00:00

thank. You.

Sensitive-Sun-3591 · 2021-02-08T18:36:24+00:00

You put it into words! Thank you 🙌

berrylikeova · 2021-02-08T18:45:54+00:00

Amen, sister.

softleather · 2021-02-08T20:54:32+00:00

What if he looks at porn briefly for ideas, or to get turned on before sex but doesn't jerk off to it?

2021-02-08T21:06:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	The logic of dating: double standards of "satisfying needs". Watching porn.
Author	Level-Personality745
Upvotes	250
Comments	37
Date	February 8, 2021 2:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lfcncm/the_logic_of_dating_double_standards_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-logic-of-dating-double-standards-of-satisfying.1192504 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192504

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