My wife(19f) wants a divorce from me(19m)

heartless_monk · 2023-06-25T18:39:18+00:00

you think watching porn is comparable (in the sense of infidelity) to her fucking around with multiple men on dating websites?

seems like she’s already planning her exit, so focus on yours, and let her be for the streets.

No_Application_2807 · 2023-06-25T18:37:01+00:00

So young. You both have your whole lives in front of you. Your both going to changing and finding out who you really are over the next 15 years

ragingredditir · 2023-06-25T19:30:40+00:00

This is so sad to read for so many reasons.

It should be illegal for you to even be married at 19. You’re way to young.

1) she’s on dating apps, abandoning the father of her newborn. Grant her the divorce and end that mistake now. The longer you wait the harder it will be. I don’t see any alternate reality where this relationship works out and you both die of old age happily by each others side

2) Don’t let her guilt you over porn. There’s plenty of reasons to cut it out of your life (it builds unrealistic views of sex, you never know if there was consent, it supports crime and horrible people, it can ruin natural sex drives, it can be degrading to women, it can be addictive, etc) but the fact of the matter is every man has looked at porn. We’re sexual beings and it’s very accessible. Expecting a man to not look at porn is equal to expecting a dog to not lick a plate full of food left on the floor. It’s takes serious discipline and self control to build up to that. If you wanna cut it out of your life, great, but that’s your choice and not hers. Don’t let her manipulate you over it. Everyone is also irritable, she needs to forgive that

3) You need to focus on getting the best job you can get and how you’re going to provide for a daughter. That’s your life from here on out

No_Key_6276 · 2023-06-25T19:35:40+00:00

You’re in a hard time right now, you’re still in the honeymoon phase. Her being on dating sites is in not comparable to you watching porn. I’m guessing she’s using it as the scapegoat to leave. You forgave her but she can’t look past that? She’s gone my friend and the sooner you start to grasp that the better. It’s not going to be easy but it can be easier. You’re both still so young that this will be a blip in your life before you know it. I think she’s doing you a favor by ending it so quickly. Don’t antagonize her and don’t beg. Work on your and focus on your daughter.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-06-25T18:13:42+00:00

but she said my mistakes are forgivable

Wow, what a saintly person!

Has she said anything about her own accountability for the relationship issues?

devildonuteater · 2023-06-25T21:46:49+00:00

Dip out man I got married at 18 too and it wasn’t great, it’s better to end it sooner than later.

Strict_Magician_2796 · 2023-06-25T23:15:09+00:00

Get out while you can, be happy it's only one kid with this girl.

Adventurous_Rain_279 · 2023-06-25T23:26:13+00:00

You have to take this.

If women said she wants a divorce, that is rock solid.She doesnt respect you anymore, which gives her internal “green” light for anything

Thata how they are wired

As well you mentioned, you have a 3 month old and ahe already on dating apps

You have to run from her. She is a mess, there is nothing left there for you

Figure out what to do with a kid, and make a tough decision

Youve learned early, how some women are.

You watching port is normal. We all do it, a lot ( or most of us). In marriage, outside marriage

It is not something unforgiveble. She feels you are soft , and fuxking in love - she manipulates you

Women, in order to exit the relationship - will need to find some reason to put blame on you

And she did.

Her acts, are disgusting. She is a horrible mother. You need to take divorce steps immidiately

Maybe, even makes sense to make a dna test. Are you sure the kid is yours? She is too quick into dating, which is a worrying sign

Wish you all best. It is a really complex situation, and very early in life

But, listen to us. There is no chance you can build anything healthy with her.

2019Newbie · 2023-06-26T00:00:18+00:00

Dude, marriage is not natural. We are animals. We all have needs that change. The fact that some people fall in love and live the Disney cliche is a rarity and honestly it's not easy being married to the same person for hundreds (that's what it feels like) of years. My parents were married for 50 years and my mom hated my dad, he loved her, ha. So it's not something that comes easy and if you find the right person consider yourself a lotto winner.

As far as what you can do... let her go. If she comes back it was meant to be, if not... there are a lot more fish in the sea.

jujumber · 2023-06-25T19:58:30+00:00

The only last hope would be to go full no contact for at least a month. Let it sink in for her what she’s giving up.

1Cobbler · 2023-06-25T22:21:03+00:00

if you're 19 and she already wants out then just take the out.

Don't be miserable for another 5 years and have her force it on you anyway.

Proud_Atmosphere8478 · 2023-06-26T02:48:41+00:00

She is obviously cheating on you! Get away as soon as possible. If you were to forgive her, just know that you will be sharing her with another man or men. Heck you can also add women! Now and days women are cheating on their boyfriends/husbands with other women. Let her go, you deserve better!

Individual-Gold-4747 · 2023-06-25T18:27:28+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this happened after you had a kid together. The sad thing is, most relationships don’t last long term. And it’s not looking great now. It could be something that could be fixed by both of you maturing. You could try to work on talking honestly and openly, maybe also getting advice from married couples you know who have good relationships. But the most most most important thing is to make sure you have regular time with your kid. You might even want to work out a way to live amicably in the same house. If you don’t establish a strong pattern of regularly seeing your kid right now (including overnights), she might try to keep your kid away from you and the courts will help her.

Joe_F82 · 2023-06-26T00:44:08+00:00

Getting married at 19 wow .. 😲

Old-Place2370 · 2023-06-26T09:24:05+00:00

I read the other replies on here and they are spot on. Since you love your wife so much leaving her will hurt, A LOT! but allow yourself to feel these emotions and keep in mind that it’s only temporary. It took me over a year to get over my ex gf and like you, I couldn’t picture my life without her. Now she doesn’t even cross my mind. Time will heal your wound so keep your head up. You’ll be fine.

mrcofffeeee · 2023-06-26T12:29:29+00:00

If a relationship does not bring happiness and a feeling of trust its not a relation worth staying. Especially if you are the only one trying hard.

Objective-Raisin-926 · 2023-06-28T00:37:55+00:00

You’re young. Trust me, if you have the exit route, take it. Rebuild yourself and your mental well being. Grass isn’t greener on the other side, I can guarantee you that. Take care of your daughter and take care of yourself. Don’t trap yourself knowing deep down your heart she will want to leave you when you fuck up or have a disagreements. I’d say focus on getting your degree and now that child support is present, do what you can as a father for her. Trust me you haven’t seen the worst yet once you start dating again. Trust us.

Ill_Expression8022 · 2023-06-29T14:35:37+00:00

Man, I got married at 21 and that was still far too early.

This may be harsh but once she opened those dating apps there is no fixing this. She has already made her decision and you need to focus on your kid. The most important thing a child needs in life is a father figure regardless of gender. Now is your chance to learn from the situation, hit the gym find a hobby or something to take your mind off of it and fight for the sake of that child.

YOU NEED TO TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER.

The best revenge is to push forward and succeed in life. She will realize her mistake all too late.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-06-26T00:18:55+00:00

Run.

BankCritical8910 · 2023-06-26T02:15:43+00:00

You need to figure that out man bc you can easily lose your daughter unless you can pay for daycare and stable roof on one income while your baby is in your custudy

Thats a glimpse of post divorce/seperation

BankCritical8910 · 2023-06-26T02:41:49+00:00

So you'd owe her 17% of your income, and then with the remainder get a roof plus daycare

Ok-Path4446 · 2023-06-26T07:22:40+00:00

Do it when you got time. Enjoy your life first and marry later

BlackAnvilEgo42 · 2023-06-29T14:21:12+00:00

Painful as this will sound, you need a paternity test...

Title	My wife(19f) wants a divorce from me(19m)
Author	Sea-Consideration884
Upvotes	8
Comments	58
Date	June 25, 2023 5:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14ismiz/my_wife19f_wants_a_divorce_from_me19m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-wife19f-wants-a-divorce-from-me19m.1223434 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223434

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