Fathers of r/MensRights, have you ever been given a side-eye when bringing your child to a playground?

mrgoodtime81 · 2023-06-26T19:41:27+00:00

Yes, has happened to me. And worse off, i actually play with my son. The other moms are mostly sitting around on their phones, and so the kids come over to me and want to play. I have had some moms come pull their kids away and i make sure to let them know that if they were actually playing with their children, they wouldn't be wandering over to me.

Rude_Shock343 · 2023-06-26T19:42:11+00:00

had the cops called on me for taking pictures of my daughter and swinging with her in my lap

ALiteralAngryMoose · 2023-06-26T18:47:33+00:00

I nearly had my daughter taken (see: kidnapped) from me by an overbearing and over protective Karen because in her words, 'no man is capable of taking care of his child alone'. Forget side-eye. I'm very certain that I might have actually lost her had not a young mother with a son my daughter's age walked up and acted like she was my wife and my daughter's mother. She protected me and my little girl and to this day that woman can rely on me for any freaking thing. I would hide bodies for her.

I don't take my kid to playgrounds anymore. And frankly she's like me. She'd rather read or go on a hike with me.

Digger_is_taken · 2023-06-26T17:59:56+00:00

People have called the police several times believing that the children I was watching were unattended.

If I forget water on the way to the park, somehow none of the mothers there have any to spare.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-06-26T18:52:37+00:00

Blaming men for not spending enough time with their kids, then treating them like pedos when they do.

B1uefalc0n · 2023-06-26T18:36:14+00:00

I've taken my kids to plenty of parks. The worst thing that has happened is being asked if im babysitting today. I make it clear that being a father is not equivalent to a babysitter. Then i get side eyes. Have any of you ever been asked if you're babysitting your kids when you are alone with them, be it shopping or at the park?

realitydysfunction20 · 2023-06-26T20:13:29+00:00

When I take my kids to the park, I try not to care or observe others judging me but I have noticed in the past mothers pulling their daughters away from me while I play with my children. They may have reasons for it unbeknownst to me. Not my problem.

As someone else said, my children look like me so that may help but as a man I do take effort to not find myself talking too much to someone else’s children or letting them get close to me.

It is unfortunate sometimes because I am an active father who plays with my kids and I have noticed many women just chat with each other or play on their phones so their children will sometimes want to engage with me and I try to limit contact because I don’t want to have any issues.

I was talking about this with my wife a few months back on how our society often demonizes men and makes children afraid of men which I do understand to some extent, however, this leads to a feedback loop where many children (read: girls) grow up without positive interaction with men who seek to do them no harm and can be a wealth of knowledge or social engagement for them. They then grow up with a mindset tailored by that experience or lack thereof.

Normal_Resident_3162 · 2023-06-26T19:52:34+00:00

All the time, especially considering my kids are mixed and we don't share the same skin color.

operative87 · 2023-06-26T20:35:09+00:00

Taking them to school not really. But I had to register my son with our gp after being awarded custody. The receptionist kept asking where his mother is, despite me explaining that I’m a single father. My ex is an abuser. I honestly have no idea why I was so patient with her I’ve regretted it ever since. I didn’t even put in a complaint which I most definitely should’ve.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-06-26T18:29:19+00:00

I used to take my son to an inner city park in a large city in the US. It was a small park nearby as I had full custody from 1-3 years then 50/50.

As I sat alone at the wood tables they had my son would go play in the big sandbox/swingset. Every time I went an old man would come sit at my table and give me the stink eye. It was an ethnic park with mainly Eastern European immigrants.

As soon as my son ran over the man would leave.

I don't think the same thing would happen to a female.

The stereotype of men not being childcare givers is deeply embedded.

Maybe with default 50/50 this stigma will change.

hellraisinhardass · 2023-06-27T00:13:31+00:00

Absolutely. I've even had some nosey old bat come up and talk to my kids after mean mugging me for 10 minutes and ask "where's your mommy, you need to be careful because strangers can try to talk to kids at playgrounds."

Bitch, you are the stranger, get the hell away from my kids.

LiquidDreamtime · 2023-06-26T21:23:16+00:00

I have three daughters aged 6, 5, and 3. People are surprised when I have them out, especially older women.

No one has ever said anything cross. A coworker once said I was going to “babysit” them, and I corrected her.

sgt_oddball_17 · 2023-06-26T18:37:49+00:00

No, but my kids both look a lot like me.

Now, when my wife would send me to the car to fetch a snack or some such, I would sometimes get the stink-eye from other people until I was back with my wife and/or kids.

Oz70NYC · 2023-06-27T06:53:27+00:00

I ABSOLUTELY have, especially seeing as my daughter, now 24 y/o... is mixed. She's Black/Italian/Polish and favors her mother in every area aside from her eyes. If she told you she was black, that's the only way you'd know. Fair skin, long, curly brown hair. She looks like a regular white girl. So taking her to the park when she was little was an adventure...and not the feel good kind of adventure. I've had the cops called on my 3 times, been called out by more Karens then I care to recount, and all sorts of other bullshit.

I recall this one time when she was 9, old enough to understand what I was going through. This particularly nosey couple....White folk, where trying to figure out "who this little girl's parents were" because she appeared to be the only unattended to child in the play area...cuz all the other kids were White and Hispanic (we were living in Florida at the time). When I noticed what was happening, I was on the verge of standing up and saying something, but my little girl did it herself. As Kyle & Karen were trying to give my daughter the 3rd degree, she defiantly stood up and screamed "THAT'S MY DADDY RIGHT THERE!!!" as she pointed my direction. It was loud enough that everyone else in the part could hear and take notice. I was more proud and honored by this than embarrassed. She comes running towards me and tackle hugs me in tears saying "I don't want to be around these people anymore." The couple try to slink away in embarrassment, and I never exchanged words with them, just gave them "the look" as I carried my little girl out of the park.

That evening is the night her and my ex-wife had to sit her down and have "the talk about race" with her. She's a smart cookie, and pretty much understood the gist of it since as she told us, she'd been exposed to it in school already...about how her mom was White and her daddy was Black. From that day forth, she did everything in her God given power to protect me, and to this day she puts emphasis on pointing out to people that I'm her father with defiance and proud. I think I did good raising her, especially seeing as within 2 years of that her mother and I were split up and I was awarded custody due to her mom's no longer secret drug addiction. Packed her and my shit up and moved back up north to NYC where I'm from and she was born. From 11 into adulthood I raised her as a single father. She just got her BA in Civil Engineering, is going for her MA in Architecture and is currently engaged to a 28 y/o engineer who I'll be proud to call a son-in-law in 2024.

AirSailer · 2023-06-26T22:07:02+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/138wckr/im_scared_of_being_near_kids_since_people_might/jizw1pa?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

eldred2 · 2023-06-26T22:45:51+00:00

More times than I can count.

Metraxis · 2023-06-26T20:20:49+00:00

Not so much now that my youngest is 17, but when they were single-digits, this was a real problem.

BettmansDungeonSlave · 2023-06-27T01:44:43+00:00

Got the cops called on me for taking my 9 year old niece to the park. Had to call my wife and sister in law (the mother) to confirm I wasn’t a pedo.

Karen at the park She doesn’t look like you Me being a snarky ass You’re right. My 9 year old niece doesn’t have a moustache. Fantastic observation.

Brawlyspade · 2023-06-26T23:52:11+00:00

The very first time I took my newborn out for a walk on my own while my partner got some much needed sleep, an old woman came up to me asking where mummy is and am I enjoying babysitting. Pretty sure looking after my own child isn't babysitting.

Don't understand how people have the nerve to ask these things to complete strangers. Over the last year I've been asked similar questions and I just say that mummy passed away and watch their faces drop

2023-06-26T17:51:09+00:00

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Xykzi · 2023-06-27T01:36:06+00:00

I'm a stay-at-home full-time Dad. When I take my daughter to the playground, I get SO many dirty looks. Like, whyyy? I'm just a dad having a fun day with his kid, fuck offfffff

coming2grips · 2023-06-26T22:51:49+00:00

Everytime

SympatheticListener · 2023-06-27T04:18:18+00:00

No. But I live in a pro men's rights neighbourhood.

sumar · 2023-06-27T00:57:08+00:00

I haven't noticed, but then again, I absolutely don't care if they do give me side eyes.

Noble9360 · 2023-06-27T03:29:07+00:00

I'm a sahd. Playgroups, gym, the playground, literally just walking through town, I get one of 4 reactions.

Overies explode - he's a flirt and a cute in at that - and I'm 'so good with him'. Some also assume I'm a single father.
Disregard, I'm obviously babysitting and can't possibly be a full time parent. Yes, that's it, mum's day off.... Little old ladies are fond of this one "Is it mummy's day off?" - I make stuff up. Died in childbirth, ran off with a man called Claude, is actually a dragon and finds it hard to not crush the buggy etc.
Abject suspicion, that's not my child, why am I in a playground with children - I've done the "which one's yours" joke, it did not go over well

And 4. Anger, threats and on one occasion police were called. I don't know why, but the worst of these thought that because my disabled arse could take care of a child (16mo) and enjoy molding his little mind enough that he wants to play on Gasp swings and slides SWOON this was somehow a threat to the fabric of society and started swearing and such.

When I told her to fuck off she called 999 and told them I was abusing my son.

cheapshotfrenzy · 2023-06-26T23:42:42+00:00

Only once. I took mine and my brother's kids to the park and let them play on the equipment. An old guy came out of his house and walked up to me to talk. It was just chit chat, but I could tell he was scoping me out to see if he should be concerned or not.

To be fair, I was sitting at a picnic table stripping down and cleaning/sharpening my knife...

I didn't judge the guy. I probably looked really creepy.

sharksville · 2023-06-27T03:09:59+00:00

Yes. One time an old lady wanted to call the cops on me because I was following around my own daughter and then later on walking my own daughter to my own car but before letting her in I was getting too physical with her for removing al the sand from her after she was done playing in the sandbox. Told that old lady and other around her that if she needed a reason to call the cops then I’ll be happy to bash her face in

TheBioboostedArmor · 2023-06-27T02:32:31+00:00

I was out of work most of 2020. My son was not quite 2. We went to the park/playground almost every day.

I don't recall ever having any issues.

Disaster_Plan · 2023-06-27T03:19:21+00:00

One kid. Never had a problem.

reverbiscrap · 2023-06-27T07:02:10+00:00

Absolutely, and it has led to some fairly unpleasant confrontations.

LordOafsAlot · 2023-06-26T22:29:06+00:00

Yup.

AdComprehensive1312 · 2023-06-26T17:57:23+00:00

Took both my kids to hundreds of parks and never noticed anything like that.

PaddleFishFap · 2023-06-26T22:29:22+00:00

What parks do yall go to ? I have zero negative Interactions with other parents.

Huge_Buddy_2216 · 2023-06-27T04:09:33+00:00

Nope, but I live in Japan where Karens are far less common.

mysoulisatrainwreck · 2023-06-27T06:21:23+00:00

I think so, but I pointedly ignore singular women, who tend to be the source. It's been second hand nature for years for me to put on an innocent air while in public with my kids, which is basically just focusing on my own thoughts and tasks for the day, or zoning out, or staring it my phone (which has the camera pointed at the ground).

I'm already a large and intimidating person, I like to bring my kids places with me where I might get hassled for looking like I do. When you add a kid hanging off of you, it's like becoming invisible to everyones various radars. No one looks twice, mom's, cops, strangers. It's amazing.

Wafer_Stock · 2023-06-27T06:52:02+00:00

I've gotten the side eye a couple of times for taking my nieces and nephews to the park. even a couple of times when I took my great nephews(my oldest 2 nieces lil boys. they each have a son).

echo979 · 2023-06-27T12:41:08+00:00

Oh, yes, so many times. Also, "are you babysitting?"

It's my child. I'm parenting, Karen

hatasu80 · 2023-06-27T13:16:26+00:00

I read somewhere or listened to a podcast, don’t remember. But it seems single parent father take better care of there kids then single parent mothers. Also single mothers who get in a relationship with a new partner, often neglect there child. But it’s was a long time ago

Kyonkanno · 2023-06-27T03:44:00+00:00

I've actually had no bad experiences like the ones shared here. Maybe it's because of my country but I've gotten quite the contrary. Single moms always looking my way because they think I'm single as well. It never gets past that because I don't try anything.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-06-27T04:10:11+00:00

No. I'm usually too busy pushing swings and playing the floor is lava to notice what other people might be doing or wondering what they're thinking. So.... not that I've ever noticed anyway

gvs77 · 2023-06-27T08:03:49+00:00

What!? Hell no (father of 4 boys, been doing that by myself for about 18 years now)

HazelBrains · 2023-06-27T12:25:48+00:00

No, never. Where I live in England it's very common to see dads in the park with their kids. Sounds like it's less common elsewhere.

Former-Investigator4 · 2023-06-27T12:42:49+00:00

I've often brought up a likely scenario I have yet to encounter. What happens when I tell my daughter it's time to leave and she screams no repeatedly, I pick her up and put her in the car and people try and stop me. Or worse try and take her from me or use the gestapo to detain me...hasn't happened yet. Entirely possible

WhereProgressIsMade · 2023-06-27T21:28:29+00:00

I never ran into significant issues. A couple times I had someone strike up a conversation and ask which kids were mine if I was just sitting on a bench. Hard to know if they were just being friendly or if they were going to call the cops if I was there without kids.

I more recently took my 14 year old daughter to a group swing dance lesson bracing myself to run into some kind of crap but no one batted an eye that I noticed.

TeketStun · 2023-06-28T00:49:18+00:00

Personally, no. I am a relatively milquetoast looking man though, so it's possible if I had a single unsavory characteristic they would have. Not saying I'm a prize, just very normal looking.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2023-06-28T06:14:27+00:00

No, and this one seems to be a lunacy particularly concentrated to anglosphere countries. I can get along ok with most women (with some reservation) but I instinctively avoid American and British women in particular (honestly not many around here to avoid, thankfully). For this, and other reasons.

On the contrary, when I'm seen out with my boy, I feel like for the first time I'm treated with a modicum of respect. I escaped the "presumed worthless until proven otherwise" cathegory I suppose, and suddenly became visible.

I really don't care about it either way, but I don't have any complaints at least, as there aren't any situations I have to deal with.

HamletsRazor · 2023-06-28T11:09:14+00:00

Not just playgrounds.

My partner and I were with our daughter in Macy's shopping for clothes for her. Mom went to the restroom. I became aware that a clerk was shadowing us, then store security, then I was approached by police. As they were questioning me and trying to separate her from me, mom came back. She was not happy.

Consciously or subconsciously, most women believe that men who aren't pedos and traffickers just haven't become one yet. It's beyond ridiculous.

Title	Fathers of r/MensRights, have you ever been given a side-eye when bringing your child to a playground?
Author	hell09990
Upvotes	197
Comments	75
Date	June 26, 2023 3:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/14jk9na/fathers_of_rmensrights_have_you_ever_been_given_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/fathers-of-rmensrights-have-you-ever-been-given-a.1223582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223582

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