I have been lurking in this subreddit for some time, giving words of advice and encouragement from time to time.

Yesterday, I gave some advice and told a brief summary of my journey from the time I got separated to where I am now.

Somebody posted a question under my advice asking "What are you doing here?".

Nobody in my immediate family ever got divorced. My two brothers that I am very close to, viewed my separation like a high school break up. That I should just get over it. They did not understand that it was a lot more than that.

I did seek therapy and I was unhappy that regardless of how deep the conversation with my therapist was, in one hour it stops. I felt like most issues went unresolved and I went home feeling the same way I felt when I went there, just that my wallet was a bit lighter.

I turned to a group called "Divorce Care" and sought out some Divorce support websites. It was there that I found the support I needed.

Divorce care was a Christian structured program, usually done in a church. It was very helpful, but just like therapy it was an hour long, and with as much as 12-15 people in one group, sometimes you walked away feeling unresolved and since it was structured, it was not like you can go back on the next session because you had to move on and follow the program. Don't get me wrong, it was very helpful and I highly recommend it and it's free.

I joined two online support groups, one was an all male group that gave fantastic and very helpful insights and tips on how to deal with your divorce and custody. It was very technical.

The second group was a male and female group. Most people were going through the same thing as I was at the same time. But there were some people who were there to offer advice and hope. This group was more emotional.

I went through, navigated and healed from my divorce with the help of a lot of people I met through these two groups. They offered me very helpful advice. Guidance. Told me what to expect (you'll be surprised to learn how many people are going through the exact same thing you are at the same time as you) by those who have gone through it.

And the best things I got was friendship and hope that things will get better.

In the 13 years since I got divorced, I still try to offer help and advice to anybody who needs it. It is my way of thanking the strangers who helped me get through that difficult time, made me feel that I was not alone and gave me hope that things are going to get better.

So that is why I am here.