‘My husband can’t afford our family holiday to Disney – should I leave him at home?’

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-07-26T19:27:10+00:00

"It’s true that if we were both careerists it would make childcare harder, because I travel with work while he is always local."

So, it is okay for him to do unpaid work and for her to bitch about needing to contribute more. If the sexes were reversed feminists would be screaming bloody murder and suggesting prompt divorce.

KrazyJazz · 2023-07-26T18:52:04+00:00

Having secured my dream job, I now earn more than my partner. I have already taken on a greater share of the household bills, paying double what he does.

The guy is on his way out already. Marriage is over. She wants now an upgrade, somebody earning more than her.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-07-26T18:46:08+00:00

He should leave her as she doesn't understand they are not two singles, they are a married couple. She resents his hobbies and feels the extra money she earns while he does child care is hers and hers alone.

When men say this they are vilified.

The Advisor was very nice and tried to help her see her selfishness as it appears to me, and probably to her, this woman is on thin ice.

starjammer69 · 2023-07-26T19:26:34+00:00

It seems like she was okay with his hobby when he made the lions share of family earnings. Now that she does the hobby is a problem. She’s gone through the week and that’s ok with her. When he’s gone for the weekend for a cricket match she has an problem with it. She also seems to resent that his drive to climb in his career does not match hers. Although I’m sure if he ended up getting paid to play cricket, I suspect her feelings would change real fast.

BurnAfterEating420 · 2023-07-26T19:37:53+00:00

I have wondered whether we should just go by ourselves, but when I think of a family holiday without him it feels wrong somehow.

feels wrong...kind of vaguely, somehow that she can't really put her finger on.

sgt_oddball_17 · 2023-07-26T18:05:14+00:00

These days I suspect 70% of families in the US can't afford a Disney vacation....

BlindMaestro · 2023-07-26T21:53:53+00:00

If a man was the main breadwinner, paying the brunt of the costs, and he refused to pay for his wife’s vacation costs because she split her time evenly between work and hobbies, he’d be raked over the coals.

ArcturasMooCow · 2023-07-26T19:25:01+00:00

He should consult a good lawyer while she's away at Disney.

CoastalGriffin · 2023-07-26T20:13:55+00:00

Cash is everything. It dictates her actions, which is blamed on you, it dictates her personal perception of your character, it dictates her punishment to her man. You’re the man, YOU take accountability. Ironic Financial Love

DickPin · 2023-07-27T00:15:19+00:00

Remember, you're only as good as your bank balance.

CardMechanic · 2023-07-27T00:59:38+00:00

She already has a side piece. Someone from work.

Shuddemell666 · 2023-07-26T20:40:23+00:00

On the plus side, the husband can leave and hopefully collect alimony and child support. The feminists have played this game for decades, it's high time they start getting tastes of their own medicine.

BEEZY086 · 2023-07-26T19:46:12+00:00

Imagine a gender reversal on this ordeal.....

CawlinAlcarz · 2023-07-26T21:58:59+00:00

For those who haven't read the article (it's evident in your comments), here's the scoop:

Wife is a "go-getter" and gets much satisfaction from her work. She earns more than her husband by a fair amount and covers 2/3rds of the household expenses. She travels for work frequently, and he stays home with the kids.

Husband only works to live, doesn't live to work, he is an avid cricket player and travels around with a local amateur team. This is costly, he spends what discretionary money he has on it. He has the wife and children come to his weekend traveling matches, but his busy amateur cricket schedule has cost him promotions at work because he won't "go the extra mile" and stay late, or come in on weekends, etc.

Wife's beef is that he prioritizes his cricket hobby (financially) over his career, and the costs of it over the cost of the family vacation.

Wife wants him to come to Disney with her and the kids and pay "his share". He says he can't afford it.

As far as I'm concerned, Disney is pure hell. If I read between the lines, and take into account that the husband spends a ton of time alone parenting the kids while wife travels for work. I'd bet that the husband would probably LOVE to stay home while family goes to Disney. I see it as a perfect week away for them all.

Asher-D · 2023-07-26T21:20:03+00:00

Husband? If your husband cant afford it, then that means your whole famil isnt going, youre not going either, if your husband cant afford it, you cant either. People forget marriage is a legal contract, there is no individuals money, it belongs to both. They only seem to conviently remember this when its the man making more for some reason.

DeeLowZee · 2023-07-27T02:03:19+00:00

So many modern women are just vile as hell.

Baboon_Stew · 2023-07-26T21:44:11+00:00

Her money is her money but his money is their money. If I was him, I would encourage her to take the kids to Disney and stay home

ahoypolloi69 · 2023-07-27T01:50:59+00:00

Who the fuck writes a letter to an advice column behind their husband's back?

As adults, this is something they need to work out in person. Sharing their personal situation in an online advice column is bound to dox the both of them. Hopefully this was just a fake made up story.

TruckYouAll · 2023-07-26T20:39:24+00:00

Let her file for divorce. He's likely entitled to some of that sweet sweet alimony.

elebrin · 2023-07-26T19:54:14+00:00

She married him knowing he was going to put playing cricket above his work. He likely works because he has to pay his cricket fees, rather than any other way around.

cuppa_tea_4_me · 2023-07-26T21:49:51+00:00

Good lord. They guy would probably LOVE it if she left him at home. Disney is hell.

carpeCactus · 2023-07-26T21:43:24+00:00

He should divorce her and file for alimony!

C7000x · 2023-07-27T00:42:07+00:00

I paid for her and our two sons to go just so I can get sometime alone… #MenMentalHealth

biejodenthechoden · 2023-07-27T03:18:24+00:00

Wow, what a horrible bitch.

Always baffles me when people are in a relationship and still view themselves as individuals.

helloimderek · 2023-07-26T23:51:10+00:00

If only the sexes were reversed then he'd get half her pay in alimony!

rouxjean · 2023-07-27T11:57:33+00:00

Why not leave everyone at home, including yourself? Orlando in Summer! Ugh.

matrixislife · 2023-07-27T01:56:58+00:00

YES yes, go with the kids on your own, he can have a week of peace. I'm sure the kids will be easy to care for at Disneyland, nothing's going to try to grab their attention every 30 seconds.

Zeropointeffect · 2023-07-26T20:20:43+00:00

His wife 🔵 ( her job) my money 🔴(his job) also my money in red.

Crap_Robot · 2023-07-27T09:13:07+00:00

To be honest - I’m in a similar position to that guy.

My wife earns more than me because she wanted to become a manager.

I never wanted to have to bring work home with me - I want my home time to be family time.

Some evenings my wife gets home at 5, then works til 11 on the computer. What’s the point? 🤷‍♂️🤨

Meanwhile, my hobby is motorcycles. I love bikes - always have, always will.

HOWEVER, as a man, my family comes first.

When I was laid off last year (the company I worked for went under following the pandemic) I immediately sold my bike.

It was money that could be used to help support my family.

Now I have another job, but I haven’t bought another bike because, in my eyes, until I have completely disposable income to spend, my family comes first with what I earn.

If that means I have to go another 5 years without a bike so my kids can go to their activities and we can all go on vacation as a family, then so be it.

I sacrifice, so that they can have - that’s the choice I make because I’d rather be home at 5pm and on weekends than work my ass to the bone for 5k more a year.

HummingCheetah · 2023-07-26T19:57:24+00:00

I thought the advice offered to her was very good.

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2023-07-26T18:41:13+00:00

I don't see a problem honestly. He travels for his amateur cricket league and spends his vacation money on that. Would it be nice of her sure. And yes we all know if the roles were reversed everyone would say he was an asshole for not taking her and they would be sorta kinda right

plasticapocalypse9 · 2023-07-26T21:50:08+00:00

From your title, i was in total agreement and stunned by her narcissism, however after reading the article and not just the dishonest title, while she is overreacting, she is completely right.

a man shouldn't be trauma dumping on his children and forcing his own children to not even participate but just watch him play sports. If he was a professional, occasionally is ideal (children should know what their parents do), but unless they themselves want to go it's fucking dreadful parenting.

it's not a childs job to be your emotional support and "show up to all ur games"

not only that but every weekend, what narcissistic trash and tbh they should go on vacations without him. She'd be a bad mother if she didn't call out his toxicity. Although those are his children, simply loan him cash and go, she's overreacting, she's right to be upset with him.

Lasttoflinch · 2023-07-26T18:27:04+00:00

It's perfectly fine for the wife to not pay for the husband's trip. She's bearing the lion's share of household expenses. The guy's spending his earnings on his hobby, which has no direct benefits for the family.

Spare_Guesso · 2023-07-27T17:37:39+00:00

This marriage isn't going to last. If he isn't good enough for her she needs to divorce and find someone else.

rabel111 · 2023-07-27T23:08:32+00:00

Isn't it wonderful how quickly married finances become "my money" "his money" when women earn more than husbands. Wait til she finds out she will have to pay him alimony if they divorse (which they will). She'll scream the house down.

Title	‘My husband can’t afford our family holiday to Disney – should I leave him at home?’
Author	Ill-Truck-8077
Upvotes	455
Comments	81
Date	July 26, 2023 4:27 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15aafpk/my_husband_cant_afford_our_family_holiday_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-husband-cant-afford-our-family-holiday-to.1226527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226527

Comments