Disparity between male and female age gap relationships

ratboi34 · 2023-08-15T13:28:12+00:00

Men and women are perceived differently. People usually perceive women and their intentions as good and men in that regard more negatively. That is one of the reasons for the existing age gap discourse. Another reason is the ick that women get. When we imagine a 40 year old man in a relationship with a 20 year old woman, we think of a balding janitor with a beer belly and that might give women the ick. I don't think that as many women would care if that guy was Henry Cavill. There is no evidence, that older men, that date younger women are more abusive. In fact the opposite might be true, since young men are the most violent group of the population.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-08-15T15:01:23+00:00

Men who were in bad age gap relationships tend not to speak up because they’ll just get dismissed by other guys. Have you ever seen the comments on an article about a teacher who slept with her students? “I wish I had a teacher like that haha lol”. Not a very safe space for victims. I believe our resident fattie lover mr purple possum said that lots of men he’s represented were abused by an older woman and they have the same problems of any abuse victims - addiction, violence, mental health issues. Have you ever met a guy who was frankly taken advantage of by an older woman? Imo they’re not as okay as they claim to be. There’s also lots of examples of celebrities who experienced this. R Kelly was abused I believe and we all know what he turned into. Lil Wayne - drug addict. Chris brown - violent partner. Usher - likes pissing on women and allegations of abuse. The behaviour of men abused by women looks very similar to a regular abuser or addict or violent man so people don’t connect the dots. They also tend to be sex addicted but that seems like normal behaviour for a man. But there’s a difference between a regular man wanting lots of sex, and a sex addict. This aspect of men’s issues is underreported and overlooked.

On the flip side, women in good age gap relationships also don’t speak up because someone will come along and say they were groomed and abused. I would agree but if they’re happy who am I to tell them they’re wrong.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-08-15T13:36:11+00:00

Cougars usually just want sex, young guys usually just want sex. It’s even. Woman who go for older men are usually a mine felid of daddy issues and just want an older man to care about them and make them feel safe. And YK. They’re hot so, that’s cool too. Problem is, older men usually see that as an easy target for sex. They’ll do those things a little, lure you into a fake sense of safety and then pounce, then they change on you. They often DO Manipulate young women into sex. As someone whose been there many times, it’s emotionally tough

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-08-15T13:24:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Muscletov · 2023-08-15T15:05:03+00:00

It's two classics of modern gender relations:

women aren't held accountable for their bad choices, someone else made them do it
women's sexuality is a gift, men's sexuality is a burden

pop442 · 2023-08-15T15:15:40+00:00

Like others said, young men and older women tend to be more likely to be FWB's, fling partners, or "work husbands/wives" as opposed to actually pursuing LTR's and marriages.

Young women and older men are more likely to take things serious, get involved in LTR's, and get married. As a result, certain differences in mentalities, experiences, generational gaps, etc. get exposed more since being in a LTR and living together will expose a lot of people on both sides for who they really are.

I messed with a 38 year old Colombian woman in college as a 20 year old. We would talk a lot and have sex but I stayed the hell away from her when I found out she was married. Nonetheless, no hard feelings were had because we were never actually a true couple.

Younger women who go for older men are more likely to buy into the idea that they're all secure, mature, and resourceful so, when things go sour, it's as though they learned the "emperor has no clothes."

andobail · 2023-08-15T13:24:36+00:00

Not to mention experience gaps are to be taken as the same if we're being honest, as they're the central reason age gap relationships between adults are now being placed under the microscope by spinsters.

A single mother who had a fun phase or a marriage already is preying on a guy she's trying to date if he's lonely and has little to no sexual past/romantic experience. He won't be able to discern when she's using him because he needs to grow in experience with someone with a similar level of experience to develop proper boundaries.

BigCollectionFor · 2023-08-15T19:58:38+00:00

Why do people on Reddit like to argue about the same thing all day every day? Do they expect to win someone over?

One of the most common Reddit fights are about older men going for younger women. In generall, there are two sides.

1) Women who say that these men settle for younger women because that they are easier to manipulate.

2) Men who say that younger women are more physically attractive and having less baggage.

As seen here: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/15qib6u/why_do_some_men_go_after_girls_that_are/

These two sides keep repeating their points over and over again in all eternity. Why? What is the point for this?

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-15T13:29:07+00:00

Not always. It depends on the age that you were in the relationship and the width of the gap.

My husband is 7 years older but we met in our 40s. Nobody cares about a 7-year gap at 40. It would have been different if I were in my teens and he in his 20s. Or if I were 18 and he had been 30 or 40.

asdatafaweasd · 2023-08-15T15:28:59+00:00

when it’s a female in the age gap relationships it’s almost always that they say they felt used,powerplay..,manipulated,coerced,taken advantage of

women in relationships where they're the same age claim every single one of the exes was abusive or narcissistic etc. Women just like to hate on their exes. Presumably because it thinks it makes them look blameless for the breakup

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-08-15T20:01:18+00:00

I was dating someone in their 30s when I was 19. No manipulation, just a disaster, so do not recommend.

RedPill115 · 2023-08-15T22:27:25+00:00

.any time I read a comments about a male who was in an age gap…the answers are almost always the same…I had so much fun,they loved being with an experienced woman,taught me a lot…almost always something positive about the age gap relationship

Before reddit became targeted by political/social engineering groups, you used to hear these stories from women.

After that targeting any women/girl saying these things would be downvotes and harassed until they stopped posting about it.

It's not a natural affect.

There are actually reasons - as a guy - you wouldn't want the unrestricted system to take over, but no one really seems to talk about that nowadays.

mtoar · 2023-08-15T22:56:04+00:00

Female victimhood.

FoggyDanto · 2023-08-15T14:36:36+00:00

Many women passed through their late teens & twenties having lots of options being the one to choose, but when they get older that power goes away and they become no different to incels.

If the woman dated older guys when she was younger and of course enjoyed the experience because it wasn't forced she now turns the story into manipulation when yet she was infact rejecting guys her own age

The older women want these older guys but these older guys prefer younger women.

I always believe if women would only date guys their own age then all dating problems would be solved: no incels, no bitter older women, less cheating in marriages etc. But younger women want older men with money and guys her age are left to work hard to be the next old men and the cycle continues.

TopNYJeweler · 2023-08-15T13:05:18+00:00

but when it’s a female in the age gap relationships it’s almost always that they say they felt used,powerplay..,manipulated,coerced,taken advantage of…

I observe this too, but honestly I think younger people date older men for money, value of maturity, stability, etc. Clearly younger women get more from these men, who are grounded and successful, than what they get from them (pussy).

Notanothrshitthrow · 2023-08-15T13:10:29+00:00

Funnily enough one of my male friends is in an age gap relationship.

He's 30, she's 43... it's completely fucked.

Radiant_Specific6542 · 2023-08-15T14:13:56+00:00

Men are simply more appreciative for having the dynamic. Women like to demonize when the relationship doesn't go their way.

El-Carretero · 2023-08-15T13:53:43+00:00

Well you hear a lot of shade throw at the older men with younger women because spinsters are jealous. They want that man but he rather be with a younger woman.

RadiantEarthGoddess · 2023-08-15T14:05:59+00:00

I can't speak for other age gap relationships, only my own, and yes, in hindsight I do view it as problematic.

TimeConstraints · 2023-08-16T08:04:21+00:00

In age-gap sugar relationships, the older male is giving money to the younger woman. Who is exploiting who?

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Workaholiconew · 2023-08-15T22:43:02+00:00

It is called ideological obcession.

Some people will maintain their ideological perception regardless of their actual thoughts on the matter.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-08-16T05:04:40+00:00

This goes to women calling all their exes insecure or narcissists…big victim mentality

Uglypostwall · 2023-08-16T12:51:20+00:00

As someone who becomes bitter or jealous when it comes to age-gap relationships, these negative feelings stem from jealousy and difficulties accepting the reality. It is common for men to treat their younger partners in ways that we may dream of, and this can serve as a reminder that we are depreciating assets.

harmonica2 · 2023-08-16T15:20:49+00:00

I'm in an age gap relationship and I also know two other couples that are, personally.

We have all been in the age gap relationships for long term, and one of the couples has been married for years now.

I think the reason you often only hear negative stories is because the people in healthy age gap relationships don't want to come on and brag about the positivity about how their age gap relationship is great and how they would do it again. Perhaps they feel like they would be bragging and they don't feel like bragging compared to people who have negative relationships that feel like complaining?

Podlubnyi · 2023-08-16T16:51:11+00:00

.any time I read a comments about a male who was in an age gap…the answers are almost always the same…I had so much fun,they loved being with an experienced woman,taught me a lot…almost always something positive about the age gap relationship ….but when it’s a female in the age gap relationships it’s almost always that they say they felt used,powerplay..,manipulated,coerced,taken advantage of…that now that they are the age their lover was

Here's the thing. There are cases where a younger man was coerced or manipulated by an abusive older woman. There are also cases of women happily married to much older men. You just don't hear about them much because they don't fit a certain narrative.

Case in point. Cher and Madonna have toyboys young enough to be their grandsons. How empowering. Middle-aged Jada Pinkett bangs her son's friend, 20 years her junior. How romantic. But Leo exclusively dating women in their 20s is "creepy".

Title	Disparity between male and female age gap relationships
Author	UltZM
Upvotes	24
Comments	64
Date	August 15, 2023 12:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15rrq17/disparity_between_male_and_female_age_gap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/disparity-between-male-and-female-age-gap.1228544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228544

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