STBXF lawyer is asking my lawyer to ask me to move out of the marital home.

gu010206 · 2023-09-03T23:45:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Fwooply · 2023-09-04T01:43:29+00:00

There are advantages to staying put.

"Possession is 9/10ths of the law." One big worry is sentimental stuff. Good luck getting a court order for some of it.

You'll lose access to all sorts of paperwork that's in the marital home. If you move out, insist on taking the filing cabinet. (Joking, but not really)

Once moved out, I think it's pretty difficult to move back in.

You'll have to trust the postal service to properly forward mail. And you shouldn't trust USPS.
They suck. Besides, some organizations will refuse to forward regardless (CA DMV is one such example). You'll be putting a burden on yourself to clean all this up.

Moving out gives her some leverage. Forgot something? Think she'll give it to you?

The big disadvantage to staying out is mental well-being. It's very difficult to share a home during a divorce.

I wouldn't move out. But your mileage may vary.

jazscam · 2023-09-04T00:37:27+00:00

Start protecting yourself with cameras. This was just a shot across the bow.

And don’t even mention it to her that you got asked to do it. Pretend it never happened.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-09-04T00:54:50+00:00

As others have said you need to start to protect yourself. If she wants you out and you refuse (as is proper legal advice to not leave) then next will come the false accusations and a visit from the law, possibly to throw you in jail and deny you access to your house. This is pretty much standard practice nowadays, so I encourage you to get cameras (saving to the cloud) and a voice activated camera or other recording device to wear. As it’s your property you do NOT need her consent to record (but pls do check with your lawyer as laws may vary). Trust nothing she says and protect yourself at all times.

Nuggy-D · 2023-09-04T01:08:37+00:00

Sounds like you need a new lawyer. That dude is failing you if he doesn’t already know to turn them down.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2023-09-04T00:34:11+00:00

Fiancé? Hell no!

techrmd3 · 2023-09-04T01:55:40+00:00

Sounds like a request to me.

I would get cameras placed in your area and wear a GoPro or similar cam when talking to her from now on.

don’t move unless she calls cops . If she does body cam may save you

Cowfootstew · 2023-09-04T00:24:45+00:00

Hell no. If she wants more space, she can go. When the space aliens start coming at us in unceasing thunderbolts, we can't just up and leave the earth. A man can't just leave his home.

rsmiley77 · 2023-09-04T02:44:02+00:00

You don’t fight now because your stbx is being forced to play nice. Once she gets that you aren’t moving out I expect the kindness to go away.

AdvancedAd3507 · 2023-09-04T03:58:11+00:00

Can you explain to us why this is a legal matter if she isn't your wife? Do you live in a common law marriage state?

lyricbaritone2 · 2023-09-04T12:21:53+00:00

Gst a storage unit and move items that you wish to keep and keep safe into it. You'll be happy you did later in case she randomly tonyou moves out and tries to clean out the house.

wisstinks4 · 2023-09-04T13:35:22+00:00

I say nfw. Stay in your home. It sounds like a great place. She can leave.

I have other divorce friends, who have said to leave there, Merrideth Home because the judge friends on that one husband leaves the family home. Just my opinion.

balls_told_me_so · 2023-09-04T23:10:21+00:00

DO NOT LEAVE UNLESS COURT ORDER. Make your wife leave.

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2023-09-05T14:32:37+00:00

Be careful. This happened to me, I refused to move out. Things worked fine for many months until she tried to use alienation with kids. Did not work so she decided to try to separate me from the kids by false accusations to try getting me to move out. When I refused and her lawyer couldn’t do anything she resorted to making more false claims about the living situation. Protect yourself. She also probably wants you out to go after you financially. I would get a trial date set! It will force her to decide on mediation. Otherwise this will drag on and cost a bunch of money.

FUMoney · 2023-09-06T02:46:03+00:00

This is your first tell you may be in for a nasty fight. Set the terms of engagement now. No, you do not move out. And you reject anything above baseline. Push for a trial date. You need judgement day to achieve finality.

Iambinnie · 2023-09-07T20:20:55+00:00

Can't advise, but can give my experience. Moved out to give her space while we organised couples counselling and I was doing a full time training course in nearby city. I lived in hostels, booked from day to day, until prices spiked and wasn't feasible. Asked to move back in but was told no. Ended up couch surfing with family after locks had Bern changed and travelling hours on bus for work and bumming lifts off colleagues, because I was no longer allowed to use the car ( cancelled off insurance)... so demeaning, but luckily they were more than willing to help. Not having the car also made it very difficult to spend proper time with the kids. I gave an inch with a certain understanding, and she took a mile , based on the advice if certain people. My mum said at the time that if I left we would never have a chance, but I trusted my ex not to do that. If I could go back in time....

ViolentTakeByForce · 2023-09-04T00:51:12+00:00

No and like another commenter said, protect yourself by recording yourself. Many women start making false accusations to get the STBX out of the house.

HereinPA1 · 2023-09-04T00:25:03+00:00

Definitely don’t move out, you have every right to stay there. Just say no.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-09-04T00:34:19+00:00

I said no, then she tried to get me to leave certain days etc, and I said no, finally she left lol stay strong don't even leave

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-09-04T03:00:14+00:00

"No".

Set up cameras now and keep a recorder on you for all interactions. The fake DV restraining order is coming.

Title	STBXF lawyer is asking my lawyer to ask me to move out of the marital home.
Author	gu010206
Upvotes	17
Comments	35
Date	September 3, 2023 11:37 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/169c0a8/stbxf_lawyer_is_asking_my_lawyer_to_ask_me_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbxf-lawyer-is-asking-my-lawyer-to-ask-me-to-move.1231253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231253

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