I want to do a buy-out, ex doesn't agree, what now

Clean-Drama-4683 · 2025-05-16T20:18:53+00:00

How do you handle cost of sale on a buyout? If the house gets listed for sale with a broker, there's a percentage fee that's owed regardless of if rofr is exercised or not. Is it common to discount the cost of sale on a buyout?

Winter-Dot-7800 · 2024-09-02T11:31:14+00:00

Soon to be divorced and I want the house. My husband has a 401k worth over half a million. The home is worth 320,000 and paid off. I told him he could keep all his 401 and I will keep the house. A swap! He is refusing, he wants all his 401 and sell the house and get half from the sell. If this goes to court what will the judge rule on this. Will the judge allow a swap even if the ex refuses.

SummerRound · 2023-10-27T09:30:05+00:00

Do you have to refinance when you buy out ex to get their name off the mortgage? Or is there a way to keep the mortgage the same? We have a 2.5% rate I don't want to lose.

rsmiley77 · 2023-10-24T06:42:10+00:00

I would tell your ex that’s fine. Tell her the process. We take this to court where a judge decides. It costs her money to pay an attorney to lose. She still gets a buyout. If someone wants and can afford the family house that’s what the court is going to rule to do.

The one thing I’d say is make sure you have kept records of her not wanting a buyout. She may flip to claim she always wanted the home. Her best play is to claim she also wants to purchase the home and buy you out.

david10277 · 2023-10-23T22:49:23+00:00

She is owed her equity and portion of the home

As long as you provide that she cant force you to keep the house.

File a motion for the payout and removal of her name from the mortgage and title.

Decon_SaintJohn · 2023-10-23T21:54:55+00:00

Mine is trying to force a sale top because then I wouldn't get primary. Thing is, it's illegal in my state to force a veteran to sell their home. Sorry, bitch! 😂

whiskey_piker · 2023-10-23T21:47:27+00:00

Two thoughts - either your buyout is inaccurate or your Ex wants scorched earth.

From a sales/negotiating perspective, your reasons really sound like “I want it because I want it and gee, having it would be great.” Nothing compelling. It’s a classic mistake of repackaging your emotions as if another person has no choice but to accept.

To solve, first start with - if your wife is pissed and afraid because of the divorce, what does she get out of your solution. Also, we don’t have the value disparity she thinks the house is worth. “It looks like our current equity is around $180K and home market value is $360K. That means a buyout of your share of equity would be $90K according to ABC Realty. Do you have a figure in mind for a buyout?” - - any of that garbage about “it will provide stability for the kids and Ive got some projects in motion” are just going to piss her off.

BlackFire68 · 2023-10-23T21:41:45+00:00

The judge will see her effort as vindictive and not in the best interest of the kids. That is your angle.

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-10-23T21:12:52+00:00

I went through this. It got pretty nasty.

Our home was in my family for over 40+ years and I wanted to keep it (especially since my father had just passed away).

At first, my ex wanted to buy me out; I told her she wouldn't qualify, and I finally had to let her try before she believed me.

On THREE separate occasions over the next year or so, we would get an appraisal, write up all the paperwork, and she would back out at the last minute. We were constantly getting new appraisals, and each time she wanted another $10,000-$50,000 because prices were rising quickly (along with interest rates!).

She really wanted to sell it on the open market, believing she would get more money that way.

We couldn't resolve the issue and so it went before a judge. I was estimating $535K (based on recent listings) and she was at $600K. Her lawyer threatened me, saying if I didn't agree to pay the $600K, my ex would insist upon selling my family home.

This kinda backfired.

Normally, you wouldn't deduct the future cost of selling the home in your buyout offer (because you may never sell it). However, since they insisted upon selling, the judge said that selling would cost at least $40K and there was no guarantee it would sell for $600K. "Prices could go up or down soon, no one really knows! And if it sells for $580K and you deduct the agent's fees, you're almost at what he's asking. Isn't a bird in the hand worth a few thousand?"

Frustrated, my ex's lawyer shouted, "But he's not qualified to estimate the value of his home!" To which my lawyer responded, "An owner of property is legally permitted to assess it's value."

It was awesome.

The ex caved and I now live in the home. :)

Reflog1791 · 2023-10-23T20:52:04+00:00

Tell her you want to sell it or be bought out! She’s fighting any recommendation you make. They all do that.

Use reverse psychology.

jimsmythee · 2023-10-23T20:39:40+00:00

She doesn't get to decide if you can buy her out or not.

You have your lawyer file a motion, stating that you want to buy her out. That you will pay her Fair Market Value for her equity interest in the house.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-10-23T20:32:13+00:00

People do weird shit, my stbx told me several times she wanted to buy me out then one day a month after she filed just left and now we're selling it, prob couldn't get a loan I'm guessing

lifeisallihave · 2023-10-23T20:30:23+00:00

My stbxw and I had a similar agreement, especially for the kids.. I stay, she leaves but not an absurd buyout sum, which would have meant everyone loses especially the kids if we sold the house. Try to explain to her what selling the house could mean to the kids.

cschoonmaker · 2023-10-23T20:29:24+00:00

You may have to end up in court. There is no reason why a judge would order it sold if you're willing to buy her out. The only times I've heard of the marital home being forced to be sold were if neither party could buy out the other, or if they both COULD buy out the other and neither of them agreed to being bought out.

iSurvivedltd · 2023-10-23T20:24:10+00:00

She wants to make your life difficult…play fire with fire.

Your reasons for the buyout make sense and I don’t see any logical person opposing you.

Has she given you any reasons why she doesn’t want the buyout? Kindly remind her the buyout is in the best interest of the kids.

Title	I want to do a buy-out, ex doesn't agree, what now
Author	tragicaddiction
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	October 23, 2023 8:19 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17eu037/i_want_to_do_a_buyout_ex_doesnt_agree_what_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-want-to-do-a-buy-out-ex-doesnt-agree-what-now.1236169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236169

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