My STBXW and I are having an amicable divorce process so far. I haven't received the final decree documents but it should be any day now - the waiting period is over so not sure what the delay is. It's unwanted on my side, she initiated it and I have similar experiences to a lot of guys on this thread:

  • Light switch of coldness basically immediately after the divorce conversation. Has shown me zero compassion during this or that shes human.
  • Hasn't taken any accountability on her side, it's all on me and she doesn't want to be the bad guy
  • She needs this for her, she needs this to heal and grow, she wonders what she might have missed out on. She loves me but is not in love with me
  • We tried therapy but she was already checked out. She said the damage was done
  • I am suspicious of someone else being involved through all this
  • Haven't heard her voice in over 6 weeks. Only communication is over text about finances, house on the market, etc.

I am about 3-4 months into the separation at this point. I have been doing a lot better overall the past 3 weeks or so. I feel like I still have some tough moments - anxiety, loneliness, worry but it's not as bad as it was. Things are getting better with time as people say. I am to a point where even if she wanted me back, I don't think I could do it. I see how the marriage/relationship wasn't fulfilling needs on either side and there were incompatibilities from the beginning.

Yesterday I noticed that she removed all pictures of me in her Instagram. I knew this would come eventually, obviously she would have to move on there at some point too and her next partner isn't going to want to see that. But, even knowing that, it still hurts. I guess another pill to swallow that she is ready to remove me from her life/past. I was on the fence about how to handle my own account with her pictures, but this solidified it for me and I removed her as well.

All that said, I still struggle with the ability to grasp how at the snap of her fingers she was able to go from being my wife to a stranger that hardly speaks and being removed from her life after a decade together.

Thoughts on this? Is this all normal? How did you handle it? Anyone's situation similar?

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