Do women ever make the first move?

LulTim_ · 2022-10-09T21:15:47+00:00

The last girl I talked to did. I think it’s just rare for women to approach first in general.

KingOnixTheThird · 2022-10-09T21:40:18+00:00

Do women ever make the first move?

It happens although not very often, and usually only happens if the guy is fairly attractive.

I remember when I was in college, there was an event at the college rec center and I was going with a group consisting of me, another guy, and two girls. Anyways, two of the girls spotted a guy they had a crush on, and after the guy in our group encouraged them, they actually approached him and one even offered her number.

libert-y · 2022-10-09T20:59:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-10-09T21:11:44+00:00

What social situations do you put yourself into? Do you have male friends that you socialize with? Do you work with any women? It's much like hunting or fishing, the more you put yourself in the mix, your chances will improve.

SaltLeader3687 · 2022-10-09T22:29:01+00:00

In Argentina they do. I’ve often thought of moving there. Every Argentine woman I meet makes things so easy. They hit on you. They message first. One Argentine I matched on tinder sent me the first message and just said “drinks tonight?”

My god once you experience this you start thinking it’s your birthright and start wondering why you ever expended any effort approaching a woman or thinking of a witty opener

The girl I’m seeing now is from there. We met through friends and she hit on me at a party and we went home together that night. Literally so easy and I don’t even mean sexually. American women should take notes.

2022-10-09T23:07:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-10-09T22:07:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-10-09T23:05:11+00:00

Above average looking guy here with friends who are handsome yes they do(unless its a British black girl or mixed race one) I get approached once every two nights they do every night but its 80% of the time the girl you don't want who is like 1-3 points below you in looks and the girls we're attracted to don't approach and we still need to make shit happen unless its extreme yes girls, vain women who are desperate to have the bragging rights of sleeping with a good looking man or extremely masculine/assertive ones doing all the work for you. Being attractive physically just gives you more yes girls to burn honestly.

godofgainz · 2022-10-10T00:14:40+00:00

Women who are secure in their masculinity will ask men who are in their feminine. Women who are in their feminine won’t make the first move because the masculine man will always approach. The answer to your question is yes, but only with certain women and only with certain men. Sexual polarities must always balance each other.

2022-10-09T21:37:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jmora13 · 2022-10-09T22:56:47+00:00

The first move will usually come in the form of starting a conversation or commenting on something about you. It'll happen from time to time

A_Wild_Zeus_Chase · 2022-10-09T22:19:24+00:00

It depends on what you mean by move. If you mean, will they approach you with a pickup line and then ask for your number? Almost none.

Will they do things like stop you and ask where your from, butt in on a conversation your having, strike up a conversation with you at a bar, etc? More, but still few.

Will they show indicators of interest (eye contact, moving near your space, hair flick) that are meant to invite you to approach? Again, more, but not enough.

Ultimately, most women are not driven by the same ever present, all-consuming desire that men are. Most go out to have fun, not to hunt for mates, and if you expect them to display the same mentality that men do in pursuit, then you will be disappointed.

So it is your job as a man to create opportunities for yourself. If your not having success with apps, avoid them, they’ll only lead to disappointment.

Find co-Ed hobbies, or guy ones that can form a going out group for you, so you can also enjoy the nights, and not simply think of them as failed hunts.

Redwolfdc · 2022-10-09T21:51:33+00:00

Yes I have had it happen. But mostly they do not. Usually though they will give off signals that they want you to make a move.

VikingRT · 2022-10-09T21:10:19+00:00

QuantumSnek_ · 2022-10-09T23:46:32+00:00

Yes, 4 times and counting

BronzeInABush · 2022-10-10T00:20:34+00:00

The secret is to be okay with the woman leaving or staying. I'm not saying to not care at all, though. It's more of a "no matter what they decide, I'm going to be okay".

Hvnisaplaceonerth · 2022-10-10T00:32:19+00:00

I’m a female who used to exclusively make the first move, through my twenties. Got tired and now I’m in your boat (I only date other females).

I’m learning through dating now that a lot of women expect their partner to make the first move. Communicating wants has worked on a few dates, but most of my dating experience has not lent itself to meeting other female initiators.

bcool_returns · 2022-10-10T00:36:39+00:00

Recently, i asked a girl out who had been giving me great signs only to find out she is already dating someone.

And how long did you take to make a move? Days? Weeks? Months? And how exactly did you ask her out?

OpenHeight6562 · 2022-10-09T21:11:34+00:00

Absolutely they do sometimes. I don't think it's typical, though.

I've had it happen to me, although incredibly infrequently, but I also have a friend who legit always gets hit on by girls who basically do all of the 'seduction'

RanchHandlher · 2022-10-09T22:56:10+00:00

I've had quite a few women make the first move. Everything from telling me they're down to fool around, to straight up asking me to take them home at a club. I actually had one girl come sit down next to me at our table of like 10 people when I was out at a bar. I just ignored her for a while not understanding who she was or why she was there. After maybe 10 minutes I asked how she knew everyone. She just blushed and told me she cane over to ask if I'd like to get out of there. Had a girl at the gym ask me to a baseball game. Two of my friends have had sister's ask them to hook us up. I had a stripper ask to go home with me about 15 years ago. We ended up dating for a winter. My wife and I were set up on a date by my friend's wife if that counts. I was opposed but ended up taking her out after a camping trip gone wrong. On that camping trip, this girl I used to hook up with was there and out of no where she ran at me jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist. I had to introduce her to the girl I brought camping while she was in my arms. Let's just say I came home single again.

I'd say I've experienced it a dozen times maybe? It definitely happens.

firebo1t666 · 2022-10-09T21:31:36+00:00

Absolutely.

IornBeagle · 2022-10-09T21:33:15+00:00

I've only had it happen to me once, passed these two girls standing outside the apartment across from mine. I say a quick hello to them and go inside my place, 5 min later there's a knock on my door and it was one of the girls from earlier, said I was cute and wanted my number. It didn't go anywhere beyond an FWB thing for a couple months but MAN what an ego boost.

For context, I'm a painfully average 5'6 skinny white dude. I say the odds were one in a million and I very much doubt I'll have that happen to me again.

SolidPuzzleheaded984 · 2022-10-09T21:44:10+00:00

Yes they do.

They tell their friends to tell me so and so likes you.

Ivabighairy1 · 2022-10-09T22:49:10+00:00

All the time. They go after who they want. If you are chasing the woman instead of her chasing you, she's not that interested in you and has nothing else going on.

learnbyrepetition · 2022-10-09T23:05:46+00:00

Women rarely make the first move in the way guys do. For example women will probably not approach you directly or ask you out etc. However, their way to “make the first move” is usually more subtle, like looking at you or making herself more approachable (dressing better when they know they’ll see you for example)

SamuraiZero4 · 2022-10-09T23:25:16+00:00

I just turned 35 and I've met my fair share of women, yet I can count on one hand how many women made the first move. It can happen, but (and I cannot stress this enough) never wait for a woman to make the first move.

Longjumping-Plant546 · 2022-10-11T21:12:44+00:00

Yes they do. 80% of my relationships were just that because I was too shy as a person and generally carried a don’t bother approach. However, the girl has to be very very strongly attracted and it also depends on her personality. Some girls will just put themselves in vulnerable positions making it easier for you to approach rather than do it directly (shy, afraid to come as loose etc.).

2022-10-09T20:59:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-10-09T21:38:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Okaydog97 · 2022-10-09T23:55:19+00:00

There was a girl in the school from 2017-2018 year.

The girl gave me strong signs and even came out of the class most of the time, when i had to leave the class after finishing chemistry class always.

But the girl didn't make a move to me once and talked to me only once, when she helped me to answer the question the teacher asked me.

I should have take my move but didn't because i don't know why and now feel regret about it.

ozzzy83 · 2022-10-10T00:00:24+00:00

When I was younger, they often made the first move, even directly, like, can I kiss you, pulling my hand, or even stopping next to me, then commenting loudly about how she could not believe that she stood by the guy like me, etc. But yeah, all in all, pretty girls approached me, but maybe 4-5 in total, others were more subtle, and a lot of average girls did make the first move on me.

MassageGymnist · 2022-10-10T00:07:54+00:00

They’re so used to not having game that they think their looks will carry

sdottfoolie · 2022-10-10T00:29:13+00:00

Yes they do sometimes, parties and probly the club. Damn near in the grocery store too. In the grocery store I've had women try to initiate lil shit, not really an entire approach but they definitely showed they interest. But in parties and stuff, they really do approach. U just have to be ready.

lightskinnhammer · 2022-10-10T00:55:58+00:00

Lmfao a chick dead approached me last night in the club when I was making business calls

khloebaboey · 2022-10-10T01:10:29+00:00

I do it all the time :)

cocholates · 2022-10-10T01:12:31+00:00

I would say women do but it could also depend on the situation they are in whether they do or don’t speak up.. (i.e. being colleagues)

laeriel_c · 2022-10-10T01:14:06+00:00

What are these "great signs" she was giving you? Not all women use online dating, not even close. I have made the first move a couple of times and the first relationship was decent, the other one was a disaster.

Acceptable_Banana_13 · 2022-10-10T01:23:23+00:00

Are you hot enough for the “beautiful women who only go for chads”? If not - it’s not settling. It’s staying in your lane. All women have different tastes. But the scale works to increase your chances of success. Not to be blunt or cynical, but if you’re this shallow, why would you expect others not to be?

f33 · 2022-10-10T01:26:43+00:00

Be a Chad bro

theosdore · 2022-10-10T01:35:41+00:00

Brother. Do not lose hope. I have in my 22 years of being alive never been approached first by a girl interested in me and then the other day out of the asscrack of the universe this cute girl from work DM’d me. The only time I ever talked to her was introducing myself when we were at work for a quick second. So, it does happen and it’s far and few in between. But I think the greatest advice I learned is be a nice person. Not a “nice guy”, not a guy just trying to fuck. A genuine person. Introduce yourself, interact with a girl as a person (not a potential girlfriend). Don’t play your friendliness as a disguise for sexual motives. Then as you get to know them you can start to drop hints. Also idk if what I’m saying is making any sense. Body language is an absolute killer. If your muscles are all tense, eyes darting around, arms crossed, and talking all serious girls are gonna think you’re not interested or a hard ass. But if you stop, you relax your muscles, soften your eye contact, and slow down your voice it takes it from a friendly tone to subtlety romantic interest. This works for me.

MSAPPLIEDSTATS · 2022-10-10T01:39:21+00:00

Yes they do. Flirtation happens to me everytime I leave my house.

Friendlybikerguy · 2022-10-10T01:41:39+00:00

Yeah they will in some contexts, but men still, for the most part, need to make the first move.

HHaTTmasTer · 2022-10-10T01:55:56+00:00

Yes they will, but in order for them to do so you need to be on the 4.5% of men.

vivid_spite · 2022-10-10T02:01:43+00:00

I think this is a personality & compatability question. Most girls are passive. Are you compatable with an assertive girl?

neversleeps212 · 2022-10-10T02:04:40+00:00

I can think of maybe two women I’ve slept with who made the first move. And one was fresh out of a breakup and the other was just a very sexually liberated woman. BUT plenty of women will make it very easy for you to make the first move if you have the experience to read the signs and the confidence to actually make a move.

You say in the comments that you don’t really go to the bars and you apparently don’t use dating apps, so how are you meeting women? Dating isn’t easy by any means but it is a numbers game so of course if you don’t give yourself many opportunities to meet them, you’re not going to have much success unless you get really lucky.

GanjaToker408 · 2022-10-10T02:07:49+00:00

Women can smell desperation. The best advice is to legitimately not give a fuck if you find a mate or not. Once you get yourself to that non-needy state of mind everything changes drastically. It did for me. As soon as I was able to get over myself and my need for a mate, it's like a master switch was thrown on reality and it became much easier to find dates.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-10-10T02:43:13+00:00

1

I (24m) am still patiently waiting to find a woman who seems to really like me.

The big problem here is that if you have a poor mindset with low self-esteem, you will suffer from two conditions:

You will be unable to recognize when someone is interested in the early stages of meeting and getting to know someone.
You will turn off everyone who meets you, reinforcing the first problem.

2

It’s soo disappointing....

There's no two ways about it. The dating pool can really suck.

It actually sucks bad enough that there are presently dating coaches for both men and women out there who can make decent bank because there's enough overall confusion in the social landscape that many people are lost about how to navigate social interactions to get what they want, whether it's sex or a relationship.

3

I feel crushed in comparison to other men my age. Recently, i asked a girl out who had been giving me great signs only to find out she is already dating someone.

I mean, you found out that you were wrong. Those weren't great signs.

However, if you want to learn from this and get better results, then we need to do an autopsy on the situation.

What were these things that you considered great signs?
How long did you know this person before you made a move?
Where did you meet her?
What exactly was your move?

If you answer these questions in detail, I can definitely offer some practical and actionable advice for you in terms of things to work on.

4

How can i not allow my anger to consume me as i see it happening day by day?

Your emotions are valid and they can be a powerful thing. There's nothing anyone here can say that will magically make them go away.

But you do need to find a way to deal with them if you expect to get better results.

And it will feel better if you can identify actionable things which can improve your results and you start on an action plan that's actually practical.

5

For reference i have a great full time job and check all the typical boxes but still can’t land any success with dating.

What you listed there is something about your job. And something about how you check off boxes. But we already know based on your post and comments that you're not getting the results you want so clearly these things don't rate very highly to the topic at hand.

So, let's back the train up here. We are talking about seduction, which is a form of social interaction.

Social interactions require social skills to get good results.

In contrast, social skills would be things like, confidence, active listening, good follow up on things people have said. It's nothing to do with what job you have.

6

I feel like online dating has completely ruined my chances as all the hot women go for ‘chads’ and everyone else gets stuck settling for less or being alone.

It can definitely feel very frustrating. But online dating is really supplemental best. It has not really changed as much as people think.

Meeting people in person is still the most effective and efficient way because of all the information that's exchanged during an in-person encounter, versus the stripped down and minimal characteristics of an exchange over text.

So it can be easy to let your imagination run wild here, but there's not some army of chads on online dating apps gobbling up all the women.

Title	Do women ever make the first move?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	50
Comments	78
Date	October 9, 2022 8:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xzvz3b/do_women_ever_make_the_first_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-women-ever-make-the-first-move.1248633 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248633

Comments