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[–]jh3kd 72 points73 points74 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The value you see in yourself shouldn’t derive from how many vaginas you enter. Love yourself, your life, and pursue something bigger than you. The funny thing is, the less time I spent on Reddit and YouTube, the more I began to live in the real world and allow things to happen naturally.
[–]PainDevourer 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even more important: don’t make these girls feel bad because they had sex with you! Sex always comes with some responsibility for your partner, so try not sleep with somebody you don’t feel any kind of connection with.
[–]SwoleMountain 117 points118 points119 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I would advice to sleep with a lot of muscular men to gain even more confidence and become a true alpha.
[–]RedKiraX 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This made me laugh so hard. I can’t 😂
[–]dbat_REGod 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sleeping with someone you consider average or ugly doesn't translate to sleeping with someone you deem a 7 to 10 or out of your league. You have to develop confidence in general and realize that they are just girls and human like you. Don't put them on a pedestal. Don't treat the girls you deem average or ugly like rag dolls as they're also people. If you want beautiful women then you need to talk to beautiful women.... there's no substitute.
[–]VisionsOfVisions 60 points61 points62 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Sure, if you have been out of the game for a while, there is no shame and no harm that can result from a few flings. Be upfront about your desire to have nsa sex and most women should be able to respect your frankness.
[+]Contango6969 -48 points-47 points-46 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Idk about that bro. Deception is a big part of the game. They want to use sex to get love from you. You want to use love to get sex from them.
I feel like statistically you are eliminating such a huge number of possible girls if you just straight up say you only want sex. It’s always better to lie. Even if the lie is something about how you’re moving in a month or whatever so that they know it can’t be serious. That way they can still deceive themselves and it’s not all on the table that they are a slut being used for sex. Ya know what I mean
[–]VisionsOfVisions 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He is self described as a good looking guy. In metropolitan areas, there are plenty of women who are dtf especially if his looks and confidence is on point. Now if he resides in a more conservative area, I suppose he numbers would suffer.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Yep. The old "I'm only here on holiday" will often make women more likely to have sex with you on a casual basis. They don't feel slutty about that. It's also the sex tourists' ace up the sleeve.
I mean, you can always change your mind later with "something came up so I'm staying" if you wanted to pursue something more serious.
[–]Contango6969 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Not sure why they are downvoting me. Straight up telling a girl you just want to fuck NSA is legitimately a terrible idea and bad game. Even a lot of sluts who want a FWB arent going to agree to that because its way too direct. There is no tension, no possibilities, no mystery. Its also why you ask a girl over to "watch a movie" even when you both know 100% youre asking her to come have sex.
[–]BeautifulTomatillo 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
What you described is not trying to hide the truth with innuendoes or just not being upfront. Those things are acceptable.
Straight up lying and manipulating women using “love” is fucked up and wrong. Do you just not have empathy for other people ? Doesn’t it make you feel gross ?
[+]Contango6969 -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
So it’s morally wrong to use love to get sex but not morally wrong to use sex to get love? Why? Why is the female prerogative acceptable but the males is unacceptable?
[–]BeautifulTomatillo 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How exactly can you use sex to get love? That’s not possible because the person you’re trying to manipulate doesn’t actually love you. It makes no sense.
Also I never even mentioned that, it’s completely irrelevant to my point
[–]Contango6969 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Lol it’s very possible and common.
[–]BeautifulTomatillo 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It is not because no manipulation or sexual activity can make someone fall in love. Love means you have genuine romantic affection for someone.
[–]Contango6969 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
love doesnt have a good definition. In this context im talking about attention, affection, gifts, acts of service, etc etc
[–]SnooPets1514 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with this. Up-voted. I think it's the way you made your initial point that's got you downvoted but I understand what you mean. I think you made the whole process sound a bit sinister. However, I can attest to never seducing a girl by basically saying 'hey, wanna fuck?' it's always a dance of words and subtle nudges in that direction unless you're in a relationship with that person.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably being downvoted for implying that all women are out to deceive you - because many aren't.
I agree though, you don't tell women that you only want them for sex. Honestly, if I like a woman enough to want to have sex with her, I'm going to keep wanting to see her!
Here's the thing : it's not always reciprocal. Sometimes YOU are going to be used for sex, and trying to contact the one-night stand you hooked up with the previous night is going to result in a ghosting. Yes men can be used for sex in a one-night stand. Perhaps you were only a bit of fun for the evening - OR she considers you alpha and wants your baby - but respects you enough not to burden you with a relationship. In fact some women just avoid having sex so they don't have to deal with that one (i.e. "I don't want to have sex as it will ruin the friendship") because they KNOW that they'd have to bail on you after - given zero confidence on their part for any relationship to develop.
Other times, if you make an effort to see the girl again, she's going to think that repeated sex is the path to an LTR or marriage, and then for that kind of girl it's "game on". Then you have to let her down - which also sucks.
As a side note: It's just a really bad idea for a woman to continuously screw a guy in the hope of getting an LTR or marriage. An alpha will just take the bait without eating the hook. Alpha will only marry for more objective reasons - like being financially capable and wanting to start a family - for all his own reasons - with a woman who has proven herself to be trustworthy.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
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[–]FaithInStrangers94 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You guys really go for quantity over quality? If anything That’s a simp mindset
[–]yo_saturnalia 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You got the Trump mindset 😂 Most of us would be happy to just get action where we can. Wouldn’t be on this sub if I was banging models everyday would I
Word.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just for sex? Yes. It is super hard these days for the average guy to get laid.
[–]theosamabahama 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you are scoring girls left and right, how are you a simp? Wtf.
[–]OneWorld87 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would never put Quantity first
[–]CowgirlBebop575 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I find that good sex comes from being sexually compatible and having good communication skills.
For women, the orgasm rate for hookups is low. So I doubt that one is going to gain skill or the confidence that comes from blowing someone's mind. It could actually hurt your confidence if you sleep with one of those women and they ghost or block you afterwards. It's not good (it's quite shitty actually) but some women talk to their friends about how good or trash some guys are. Your performance could get back to a hot woman anyway.
If you are not taking their sexual needs and satisfaction as seriously because they are 'average girls', it's probably going to be trash and a waste of their time. It's messed up to do that to someone. I also see a lot of virgin dudes talking about paying for the services of a sex worker and feeling underwhelmed with the experience. That's because sex and good sex are two separate categories, NSA sex is also not fulfilling for everyone.
If you want to sleep with someone, just sleep with them. All of this covert strategy is unnecessary when you have women who are actually down to sleep with you. When someone really likes you, they will partly get themselves off with excitement and a strong desire to please. If it's some random, you may have to put a lot more work in, with your lack of experience that seems a lot more difficult.
[–]Alert-Wishbone9032 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow, rude.
I’m hot, I want people who’re hot. But in the mean time, I’ll use up a pile of not hot people to boost my ego.
I feel sorry for those girls
[–]bluesclueshadnoclue 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
precisely my first thought. dont even need to whip out his dick, his mentality is already a turn off.
[–]Mike2220 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you need to reevaluate that they're people and not just trophies or prizes to plunder. And upon doing so they may find your personality more attractive as a result
From how you're speaking writing this, I can tell you already have the confidence.
[–]FalconVita 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
confidence is just a state of the mind.
[–][deleted] 42 points43 points44 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
As a girl who is “average looking”, it’s really fucking sad to see people talk about using sex from girls just because they aren’t a 10. One of them could be the next girl you fall in love with. Situations like this are where insecurities begin. I hope any girls that you set your sights on next knows their worth and doesn’t let you get far enough to hurt them.
[–]iwantyourboobgifs 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it's kinda weird. There has to be attraction, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with average looking girls. A "hot" girl can have a shit personality, and an average or below average can blow your mind.
[–]theosamabahama 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
doesn’t let you get far enough to hurt them.
That's a bit much. I don't think OP is planning on hurting anybody. Or even manupulating anyone emotionally, he can be honest and say he is just looking for something casual.
[–]SnooPets1514 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%. He's single. Let him enjoy and reap the benefits of being single? I didn't know sex and vibing with a girl was a crime
[–]CowgirlBebop575 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right? Many people fall in love and settle down with regular looking people. Dating sites really seem to cause some people to only see super models.
[–]SnooPets1514 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In exactly the same position. Was toying with the idea of a date last week. She wasn't grotesque but nothing to scream from the rooftops about either. Plain-face. Not ugly. Huge tits. Borderline big. We had sex. I'd put her down as a 4/5, dependent on who you ask.
I get the point made about confidence. I think you're wondering if it's actually detrimental because you're dating 'beneath you' and you can start to feel like you're actually at that level too. For example, I'm athletic and in great shape so you can start to feel like you're batting below.
Generally, Tinder is a huge numbers game and you'll have better chances with average women because lots of Chads will be talking to extremely attractive women. You going on a date with an average woman is not indicative of your attractiveness, it's just the nature of the game. It's a bit of a lottery.
My take has always been this: if I'm not doing or likely to do anything else that evening, and it makes sense, why would I not just go out on the date? I'd rather that than vegetate and watch Netflix.
You get to exercise your dating skills, spend time in female company and potentially smash. I actually genuinely enjoyed her company. She was a laugh. Had great banter and was just a good vibe. It does wonders for the ego, self-confidence and that feeling of masculinity. You're single, so my motto is 'fuck it.'
Where I think it becomes a problem is when you hinge everything on a girl that you're not mad interested in and forgo self-development, and talking to women you actually do find attractive because you got easy sex. For example, then just using that girl as a safety blanket.
[–]revente 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Considering that average girls tend to be less pleasant and often harder to get than hotties, you may actually lose your confidence pursuing them.
Obviously, sleep with who you can on tinder. But if you want to approach girls in real life, focus on hotties.
[–]intelectualycurious 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s not worth it. But you’re probably going to do it anyways until you realize it’s not with it yourself.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The problem with sleeping with a bunch of women for validation is you feel empty again afterwards and need someone new to keep up the validation. But I don't see the harm with having sex a few times to get over it if sex is your hangup. I encourage you not to be too shallow about judging women purely for their looks, or treating them like objects for your validation.
[–]rayvin4000 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sex is sex....it gets boring. Find a connection.
[–]whomeverIwishtobe 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop putting people in little boxes in your head it will change your outlook on life in huge ways. Try to think of women as those you are willing to fuck and have some kind of relationship with, and those you aren’t attracted to. Any other mindset is not only extremely vain but will toxify other aspects of your life and perspective without you realizing it.
[–]theseoulplayer 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First you need to figure out what your goals are, relationship-wise.
There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, and we all go on different journeys at different times in our lives. However, if you choose not to answer these questions and just take whatever you can get, that's how guys end up in miserable relationships or just bouncing from one meaningless encounter to the next.
If you think your confidence is an issue, try to identify why that is. What causes it? How is it currently holding you back? How would you be able to define if it's no longer an issue? You'll need to sort it out in your own head first. Gettin yer willy wet isn't going to solve anything, though it might make you forget the issues for a bit.
[–]Shadow__Account 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it is, but make sure you don’t use these girls as stepping stones, only date the ones you think have potential for something serious or be upfront from the beginning that you won’t be getting into a serious relationship with them and treat them good in general. Just be genuine in general, there is nothing wrong morally with dating a lot and sleeping with many women as long as it’s done with honesty.
[–]supersaturning 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That wouldn’t do much for yourself esteem when you know what you want to smash but ain’t smashing it.
Quality over quantity
Focus on the hot girls you want to fuck don’t get desperate and fuck what you don’t want then you gon feel bad since you know you can do better.
[–]koldkaleb 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't do it, you'll appreciate your exclusiveness down the road.
[–]angrypuppy35 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it’s a great way to build up some confidence and get experience
[–]theosamabahama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure dude. Go with all the three girls. It does boost your confidence. It worked for me.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes do it. Snowball method to build momentum is a great way to get back. Remember just going out on dates and being social with more women will have a similar effect as well.
[–]devolve79 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Won't help. Playing football with ten year olds won't help you practice for premier league
[–]purplemindstate -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Just keep it real with em. I hope u Catch your groove bro.
[–]THE-NUMB -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Definitely it's gonna boost your confidence, and you wouldn't hesitate next time.
[–]yo_saturnalia -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it’s a great way to be back in the game. Totally go for it
[–]gl0ry66 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No.
[–]Calamity__Bane -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah you might as well, you’ll know when you should stop. Don’t use other people’s yardsticks, do what you want.
[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah absolutely have random sex with average girls.I mean, is this even a question? Guys don't have any issues with sleeping around, and going home with a woman who isn't all that is certainly much better than going home with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.
Possibly the best attitude adjustment I can think of to help with this is to consider yourself a manwhore and just to be indiscriminate. Unless, of course, she is that disgusting that you have to fake an orgasm. Nobody wins from that.
You're obviously going to spell it out in the morning that you don't want any relationship, so they should get the picture.
[–]rjones416 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
just do it. better to sleep with average girls than no girls at all.
[+][deleted] -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. Fuck as many as you can because ugly and average girls need love to
[–]Disturbed_Aidan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Will that gain you confidence?
[–]jjboy91 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go collect your XP, as you're attractive you won't have any issues getting matches so it can work until you are satisfied or meet the right person for you.
[–]doomnoodle77 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dude i gotta say it. You cant be addicted to weed or porn. Lmao. Maybe you used both too much. But you obviously have no idea what true addiction is.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol bro what are you on about. There are other addictions other than sucking dick for coke you know.
[–]07paradigm 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sleep with who you find attractive. If you’re not corny for her, why do it?
Lol that's not at all what's going to give you confidence.
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