I used to be a personal trainer in amazing shape. Needless to say I let myself go these past 4 years. Largely due to my anxiety disorder reaching fever pitch. I retreated from life. My life consisted of basically clocking in at work, eating and going to sleep During these 4 years of turmoil, I practically swore off women intentionally friendzoning myself everytime I come across women. There was a girl I particularly liked at work back in mid 2020. She liked me but I couldnt bring myself to make any moves as I wasnt equipped to deal with relationships/game. I friendzoned myself in the hopes of keeping her in my radar. You can take a gander on how that ended up going lol. She started telling me about her struggles in dating. She started using me for attention texting me throught the week and going silent at the weekend. I realized how far I've fallen. My lack of expectations and boundaries with women and everyone else for that matter was gone. My anxiety disorder turned me into a husk of my former self.

I decided enough was enough. I cut off contact with the girl and started becoming distant in person. I resented her because I feel she used me for validation and attention in my darkest times. I started taking an SSRI (anti depressant) and saw a therapist. I started hitting the gym again religiously. I started losing all that belly fat and it wasnt long before I got jacked and ripped again. The muscles you built in the past never leave you no matter how out of shape you get. A few months to a year of consistency and you'll be back in no time. Got a nice haircut and shaved my disgusting ass bumfluff goatee. Changed my entire wardrobe. Started rock climbing and salsa dancing.

Easily got numbers and closed doing these activities. Slowly shifted my mentality back to someone that commands respect. Dropped the supplicating dancing monkey personality I constructed to avoid confrontation and take the path of least resistance. My transformation was stark. Many co workers didnt recognize me. I cross paths again with the girl I like at work during the christmas party. I exchanged pleasantries with her but never paid her much mind. I still resented her for using me. Since then she's tried to slide in my dm's twice. I replied once and left her on read both times.

I keep seeing posts here about dudes asking how to get out of the friendzone. The answer is simple. You dont. Theres no short term solution to this. No behavioral situational tricks will help you. Chalk it up as an L and work on improving yourself. Stick on this course and you'll wonder why you even wasted so much time thinking about that girl you are infatuated with.