[deleted by user]

vanillapopsicle · 2021-12-18T08:45:58+00:00

Unless she’s a good girl, she’s playing you. Simple. Are you paying more than her on dates?

Mmm91for · 2021-12-18T04:55:49+00:00

Why don’t you make a move?

MidnightNinja627 · 2021-12-18T10:53:47+00:00

Make the moves. Start small. By the sounds of it, she won’t be the first to initiate things.

Let me tell you a story.

I met this girl at thanksgiving dinner with my family. She seemed very shy from the very beginning, but I talked to her and signaled interest. Fast forward, we hang out for the first time. Not much physical contact. Maybe a hug. Went for a kiss, got curved. She mentioned that she still wants to hang out though.

Next time, I make sure there’s more physical contact. Little things. Grab her hand and compare her size to yours. Gently nudge her shoulder when she says something funny. Emphasize a moment by bumping into her. BUILD the physical aspect. It doesn’t just spawn. Take the lead.

Second time we hang out, after initiating more physical contact and making her comfortable, it’s obvious she wants to be closer to me, share blankets, put her legs on me etc. I keep up this trend, simply building from the last each and every time. Now on date 5, it comes naturally. When we sit down, she puts her legs up on me because she’s used to it. When I grab her hand she feels perfectly cool with it (maybe it even makes her heart flutter) because we’ve been there before.

I give her caressing touches and affection freely, and we talk about what we like about eachother. Last time we were together, we ended up kissing and it was mutual. You don’t go from 0-100. You take steps. Read the room and understand the size of the steps you need to take.

From your post, it’s obvious you aren’t comfortable taking the initiative. Focus on being deliberate. Read her body language. Have a conversation. Ask her if she sees herself as affectionate. Does she enjoy physical contact? Does she feel comfortable with you?

You say you’re not sure where she stands, but you aren’t effectively building comfort. You met her on tinder. She hasn’t ghosted you. She wants to continue seeing you. Take these signs as positives. As motivation for “she wants more.” Make your moves and accept rejection as a possibility. But don’t sit there and wait for her. That’s how you lose a woman.

2021-12-18T14:07:34+00:00

im gonna be honest, theres a lot of comments saying “make a move”, but i think the arms around her thing was a move. asking her to move closer, was a move.

she didn’t say “not yet”, she said “im comfortable where I am”, so you should leave her where she is.

if she’s really into you, she’ll come back when she’s ready, but I’ve been in this situation before and it usually doesn’t work out.

nobody thinks hugging, holding hands, being close, makes them a slut/easy, so people that are shy and inexperienced still do those things to feel close to another person without feeling like they’re too out there.

I think her being around you just feels good, so she’s into the feeling, but not you as a romantic interest.

im a 21M too and I spent way too long in situations like this trying to make things happen.

doing much more will only yield diminishing returns.

don’t put any pressure on her, but tell her that you don’t know if its going anywhere and you’re not sure how she’s feeling (from a place of security ofc).

if her answer skirts around the question, then you know she’s not all in, and if she tells you she’s not in it, then that’s what her behavior means.

but in the best case scenario, she’ll tell you that she’s into you, but she’s acting that way because of xyz, and you both can figure out a way to get past it.

right now you’re shooting in the dark, and the time you’re spending thinking about how she feels is eating into your energy for other things.

you’ve been making good progress and you obviously have some experience. your technique probably doesn’t need to change as much as your perspective, and that grows with experience.

lildudefromXdastreet · 2021-12-18T07:04:17+00:00

Not even a hug? Sounds like you’re being a pussy

buckphif · 2021-12-18T04:45:02+00:00

Maybe she thinks y’all are good friends or she just wants to go slow?

brabus4 · 2021-12-18T09:16:20+00:00

It's because you're not making moves

reallyred11 · 2021-12-18T06:47:05+00:00

Maybe she’s shy. Just hug her. Side hug. And if she hugs you be, shift over to where it’s a hug(abdomen on abdomen) and hug her like you mean

2021-12-18T15:29:13+00:00

You are legit paying for everything ?? Bro pls wake up

Zenterus · 2021-12-18T12:36:42+00:00

Been there bro.

Bro, what I would do is go on one last date with her. When you go on that date though, you have to make a commitment to yourself to make a bold move. A kiss, at least, or sex, at most.

If you get rejected then play it cool and try again a little later. Dont be pushy but be persistent. If she keeps rejecting your advances then I would reject her to her face.

You should say something like this: "Hey, look, I gotta be honest with you. I like you for x,y and z reasons but I'm a very physical kinda person and I want to date people who appreciate that and who are excited by that. For whatever reason I feel like you're not that type of person, maybe you're apprehensive about sex, you're attached to someone else or you just dont like me. Whichever one it is, I think it's best that we don't see each other anymore"

..and end the date. Don't text her again either.

If she initiates contacts with you again then invite her over for a glass of wine and make a move. If she rejects you again then you're done with her.

fuckboychadlmao · 2021-12-18T10:53:39+00:00

Dude, have you made a move?

hshshshshsuhhggg · 2021-12-18T11:01:07+00:00

Be 100 with her :)

ArinaMae · 2021-12-18T15:57:02+00:00

I think she views you as a friend but feels bad about it. Tell her another girl asked you on a date but you wanted to see where you and her stand before saying yes or no.

gammaJinx · 2021-12-18T16:15:13+00:00

I guess people didn’t read that you tried a move. Wouldn’t suggest a move that they’re speaking of. It’s a different time and you could end up in some shit. I’ve had more contact with female friends and associates.

Girls will let you know.

Move on. It’s way too long. There’s no escalation in the dates. You’re pretty much a free time.

I want to ask how’s the communication in between the dates. Is there a hint of anything other than “friends”, “platonic” etc.

angrypuppy35 · 2021-12-18T20:06:25+00:00

You’re being used.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-12-18T05:27:20+00:00

That's something you'd have to talk to her about

MattPruga · 2021-12-18T10:48:25+00:00

She likes you if she is going on dates with you! You need to make the move or she will move on, nobody wants to waste time. That's why it's so important to be physical from the first moment you meet a girl. If you don't make a move for five dates and try something on the sixth it's going to be weird and unnatural as you haven't done it before. Babystepping, you meet her, touch her hand, high five, hug, kiss. Show her that touch is normal to you and she will never be creeped out.

earthwalker7 · 2021-12-18T11:27:52+00:00

Tell her about that time you went backpacking thru Europe

RProgrammerMan · 2021-12-18T07:26:33+00:00

Some people don’t like to be touched

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-18T13:03:41+00:00

What do you want her for if not to fuck her? Would you buy a car that you could never drive? Or that you could only drive once a month. Fuck this. You ain't getting any younger and her tits are not going to sag any less the longer you wait. Call her over to your place have a drink start kissing and whip your dick out. Tell her your election is not going to go away by itself.

changthaiman · 2021-12-18T14:19:05+00:00

Those aren’t dates then my guy

2021-12-18T17:15:08+00:00

The brutally honest truth is that she’s not sexually attracted to you, my man. Women also get horny and want sex, so it’s a red flag to me that she’s being so unaffectionate after so many dates. Move on and find someone else who’s interested in being intimate with you, as you deserve that.

breenud39 · 2021-12-18T17:54:23+00:00

I had a similar experience. Except me and the girl would be cuddling for a month straight watching movies and stuff. Then I decided to kiss her, and it worked we kept making out after that it was really nice. I'd suggest you try to and make a move soon

ExquisiteGrowth · 2021-12-18T21:40:25+00:00

Leave her and move on, she’s likely using you for validation and money. Keep moving soldier.

jessiepc145 · 2021-12-18T22:00:16+00:00

Damn she’s using you cause you keep taking her on dates and she doesn’t have to put out lol cut that shit immediately and find you a girl who wants you

2021-12-18T23:08:53+00:00

Well these don’t sound like dates they sound like hangouts

I would say shes a friend but considering the fact that shes making you pay for everything I think she’s more likely just a shitty person that will continue to take from you for as long as she can

Woujo · 2021-12-18T23:46:32+00:00

You probably blew it by not escalating. YOU MUST TAKE THE LEAD AND ESCALATE FROM THE FIRST DATE. When I see you write "I am used to girls being more affectionate" you are basically saying "I am used to women taking the lead." You need to touch, move in, and make the interaction more intimate. If she is not into it, then just pull back and keep the interaction going.

I'm not sure if you can salvage this, but you can try escalating the next time. But don't say anything. Words don't work. Actions matter. If you make a move and she pulls back again, then just move on. I might want to say something like "sorry you don't seem to be interested in having a romantic relationship, and that's ok. Good luck on everything!"

I_am_Jaguar · 2021-12-19T01:35:06+00:00

If she can be straightforward about things she doesn’t like then she can be straightforward about other things as well. She is bored and doesn’t have anything good to do. Rather than looking at walls in her house, she chooses to go out and make you spend money. You already wasted a lot of time. Move on and find more girls for yourself. While ago I made a similar kind of mistake for 2 months straight. Recently I came to know from a common friend she was playing me. It’s better to leave early than be hurt.

Radiant_Panda_3430 · 2021-12-19T04:49:51+00:00

2021-12-19T15:32:38+00:00

She has you in the friend zone. If you want more than that, go out with other women.

gammaJinx · 2021-12-21T13:45:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	59
Date	December 18, 2021 4:40 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rizj65/i21m_have_gone_on_dates_with_a_girl20f_for_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1270637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270637

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