Approaching women is fun af!

TheManSpider1 · 2021-08-12T05:12:17+00:00

You’re definitely moving in the right direction and try not to be so hard on yourself! My best advice for this situation would be to not try to pick up women in the service industry as you’ll probably get that line or something similar to it a lot, and it could lead to you doubting yourself. It’s hard to tell where the line is between them being good at their job and then being into you. I’m digging the approach excitement outlook and will use it myself. Can’t have winning nights every night but you’ll get there brotha, best of luck

spicy_simba · 2021-08-12T11:48:12+00:00

Your story is nice, I want to add some piece of generic advice for readers regarding people who work in horeca

Someone posted recently about people who work in customer oriented job such as waitresses.

They are paid to be nice, and they get a lot of awkward moments due to customers asking for dates.

the least awkward way to go about your way to ask them out is to leave your number on a note when you leave.

stalleo_thegreat · 2021-08-12T07:07:57+00:00

She may have hit you with “I have a bf” but the fact that you approached her means you hit your self esteem with a massive booster shot. That’s what really counts. That emotion of just wanting to go to her; that’s what makes you a man. When we deny ourselves that enjoyment, it’s like slapping a dogs nose for smelling something nice in the air. It’s horrifically bad for self esteem. Just going up to her and chatting is good for your health - even if you don’t try to escalate to get her number.

Fun2badult · 2021-08-12T14:11:28+00:00

The best hitters in baseball hits like .333. That’s like 33% which means they strike out 2/3 of the times. And those are professionals.

TheBeastAndTheHarlot · 2021-08-12T05:12:39+00:00

There you go bro. It's as easy as that. Use this experience as a building block and it will get easier and easier the more you do it.

Live in the moment. This life shit is beautiful.

Important-Rest4651 · 2021-08-12T13:10:50+00:00

The approach anxiety will come away as you approach more women. And don't ever think that because you got rejected you are a loser/ugly. I am tall, blond guy with blue eyes that had many rejections. Keep approaching my guy

kmo11 · 2021-08-12T12:09:27+00:00

I recently did some training through work and one of the things we went through was how to handle rejection. The process was so simple yet so effective. It’s acknowledge & praise then change the subject. For example if you went up to someone and asked them if you could buy them a drink and they said they would rather poke their eyes out than let someone has short as you buy them a drink, you would say something like “well I think it’s good you know what you want in a man. While I’m here do you happen to know where the toilet is?”

DryAdhesiveness6579 · 2021-08-12T15:48:30+00:00

Glad you approached dude, but i wouldn’t call this an ‘approach’ you spoke to a server, who had to speak to you and bring you your food.

BluePsychosisDude2 · 2021-08-12T05:37:59+00:00

Fear/Excitement are crucially linked, living a life of no fear is also one of no excitement. It's kind of the devil's bargain we have, where if we want to live more exciting lives, we have to do scary stuff. But it is exhilarating!

lulhoofdFTW · 2021-08-12T07:06:35+00:00

Gg bro. However it can be very awkward if you ask out somebody who is working. So maybe next time leave your own number or SM info and tell her, hey I think you are cute, here's my number. Hmu if you want to.

pensive351 · 2021-08-12T14:20:09+00:00

Dont even know you, but this shit makes me proud <3 congrats bro

Big W

mattgk39 · 2021-08-12T13:41:58+00:00

Good job on getting over the anxiety! What I would suggest though is that you avoid approaching women at work, especially in the service industry. At least not as directly as you did it. She was your server and she kind of has to be nice to you and talk to you, so you really put her on the spot when you asked her out. That’s why I stick to approaching women at a bar/social event or on the street in public, because they don’t need to talk to you and can walk away at any time. Next time just talk to her like you did. But instead of directly asking her out like that, write your phone number on the check with something like “I liked talking to you, text me!”. That way you’re not really putting her on the spot at work. If she’s interested she’ll text you. And if not she won’t.

lefthandedaf · 2021-08-12T20:54:25+00:00

Yeah, being rejected is really fun lol

jamesatom25 · 2021-08-12T11:43:04+00:00

An example of a theoretical ideia put in to play. Nice dude, post the next try even if you fail, I´m curious

DajuanKev · 2021-08-12T12:42:23+00:00

That's the whole point of it. Approach and expect zero success. Just wait till you approach that one women with a different reaction. Exciting asf. You will probably back down.

Gnostromo · 2021-08-12T19:18:37+00:00

I don't think of it as fear or anxiety

I think of it as wtf am I gonna say ?

stalleo_thegreat · 2021-08-12T08:09:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

intensely_human · 2021-08-12T13:44:48+00:00

It’s especially fun if you approach them like Eddie Gordo

kirbyon1 · 2021-08-12T14:37:17+00:00

I have one question Do you go out alone or you go with friends? If you go alone how do you do it? It fell (to me) that if you go out alone its look like you desperate or something else Im not trying to get down on you or anything like that but it just how i feel

ordi25 · 2021-08-12T15:19:59+00:00

This might be a question in the wrong direction, but was there anyone in the bar on a Wednesday night? Obviously aside from sad old men 😂

Hofmannboi · 2021-08-12T16:05:31+00:00

Fuck dude I literally smoked weed and played Tekken last night. YOU'RE THE MAN!

Who you main in Tekken?

Ziggie500 · 2021-08-16T00:07:04+00:00

Her: I have a boyfriend You: I have a math test Her: Huh You: Oh.. I thought we were talking about things we didnt care about

MethodPlayful · 2021-08-30T14:13:30+00:00

Lmfao 🤣🤣 .. honestly I was expecting you at least got her number but mf .. you made my day😂

ArjunVermaReddit · 2021-08-12T07:15:42+00:00

You just motivated me bro 🤜 good job. The main thing now is to keep the momentum going and not be satisfied with this one achievement

mistermist99 · 2021-08-12T08:33:33+00:00

Yo man who do you main in Tekken?

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-08-12T06:00:17+00:00

Glad you’re getting out of your comfort zone. I’m trying to do more of that myself. It’s so easy to feel inadequate but I know that I’m trying my best anyway...

And rejection only really hurts when you’re expecting too much anyway

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-08-12T05:49:09+00:00

Word. Keep that energy.

TWA-GGLMG · 2021-08-12T06:40:33+00:00

Nice report

Bogzbony · 2021-08-12T07:23:07+00:00

Keep going, results will come for sure. When you'll get your first number and first date by doing this, other will come quick and you'll enjoy doing it again and again.

Lizardaxe · 2021-08-12T07:39:13+00:00

This 'fuck it' attitude, it's good, it's very good, keep it up. The best thing to do in these situations is to say 'fuck it'.

You're doing the right thing, even your first action that you finally tried to spend your Wednesday different, in my opinion, this very good on its own.

Pottersgranger · 2021-08-12T08:56:54+00:00

As wholesome as this was, what caught my eye was that you play Tekken. Armor King main here, lol.

Gaydame · 2021-08-12T11:09:26+00:00

I have one rule for this stuff:

Learn to get out of your own way.

hamedam · 2021-08-12T09:12:15+00:00

More like awkward

Downtown-Ad-1034 · 2021-08-12T05:10:01+00:00

Damn bro must be nice!

scottstotts1992 · 2021-08-12T07:31:32+00:00

Yeah nothing cooler than hitting on a woman at her place of work. Where’s she’s obligated to talk to you in order to make the most money.

Maybe next time you can frequent a Strip club, you won’t BELIEVE how much they’ll really like you!

Disney_Jazzcore · 2021-08-17T10:40:37+00:00

LAUGHS IN MIDDLE-EAST

the_bbutterfly · 2021-08-12T07:49:59+00:00

I don't like to approach at nigh i feel that everytime i approach they enter in the conversation with a mindset "more of the same" that i find difficult to circumvent.

What i used to do, was after work, usually near the sunset, i go for a walk near the river and approach there, and its very easy and very fulfilling because even when you are rejected (that is like 90% of the time) when you open you got that feeling from them thats like "wow nobody aproach me like that in the day time"

Some of my friends like more at the night because usually people are more with that mindset so the rate of rejection is minor, but for me i feel the start is more difficult and much less fullfiling since you dont get that positive feedback on opening that reiforce you to open more

Turkooo · 2021-08-12T08:07:00+00:00

If you're a newbie you should not force the bar thing imo. Just casually talk with girl at bus stop, work/school or at grocery when you two stand right in front of the same food.

FranangerForce · 2021-08-12T08:17:51+00:00

Wow kudos to you, that’s a big win! I’m going to take that tip of approach excitement too!

Nomadic_Waffle · 2021-08-12T09:10:02+00:00

Man your an inspiration

rashnull · 2021-08-12T10:30:37+00:00

Now go do the same thing a hundred more times to random women and get rejected and you’ll forget it was ever an uphill battle!

Woujo · 2021-08-12T16:25:32+00:00

Talking to a server at a fast food restaurant is not an approach. She literally gets paid to talk to people. Jesus Christ the standards on this subreddit are low.

awbunting · 2021-08-12T05:54:37+00:00

No such thing as your shortish anxiety going away... you just learn how to manage it better 😐

rave-or-die · 2021-08-12T06:43:48+00:00

I had a similar but slightly different experience last night! Found out a guy I had previously talked to only over the phone is moving across the country in a couple days and i had said no to him wanting to meet up years before - due to me being untrusting of men/not wanting to get falsely led on or in over my head before I was ready so he kind of backed off after that. Side note I got out of a relationship a few months ago and recently started craving for the first time some type of sexual interaction that doesn’t require the idea of dating/heavy emotions being involved. I used to say I needed to have a deeper connection with someone to sleep with them (which can be amazing) but now I finally feel more comfortable with my sexuality and what I want (big part in thanks to my ex bf) instead of just doing it for validation from men or self valuing myself thinking I was better if I slept with someone cool, so I wanted to start doing things for me, for the right reasons. And it’s empowering. I knew any potential interaction would have to be initiated by me since I had made myself seem disinterested before + he knew I was possibly in a relationship so it was my last chance to get to see what would happen with us and how we’d get along together and I didn’t want to always look back and regret /wonder what could have happened if I never saw him again so I said yolo and texted him asking to come over, and the night ended up being very successful and the both of us agreed we were glad it happened and who knows maybe I’ll end up visiting him out there but there are no expectations of things being more than casual.

Really working on taking initiative and control of more things in my life instead of waiting around for them to happen to me and then getting sad when they don’t. Feeling more confident about my insecure internal send and tired of missing opportunities!!

GoobusHoobus · 2021-08-12T06:40:23+00:00

Just because she said she has a boyfriend doesn't mean she "rejected" you. I mean she rejected you, but idk how to put this... I guess what I'm saying is, there's a chance the boyfriend is real and is -all- that was keeping her from saying yes, so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't listen to people who will tell you 100% of the time it means she'd never be into you, even if she was single, they don't have experience.

IHateEditedBgMusic · 2021-08-12T10:24:30+00:00

I was called a pussy by a girl I kinda flirted with but wasn't feeling it. In short she initiated and I teased her a bit, but didn't escalate in the end.

It was at a friend's wedding and I refuse to dance with her. She was a hot mess of a drunk by the end of the night.

Girls can't take rejection at all.

Inner_Ad4595 · 2021-08-12T05:42:12+00:00

It's not fun af, it's nerve wracking. I get alot of pussy dude, and I'll be the first to tell you it's not fun. I honestly don't know a dude that confident.

Sapthadhri · 2021-08-12T10:06:51+00:00

Everybody funsta till you find out she isn't a woman.

sneakyjager · 2021-08-13T10:12:08+00:00

Let's be serious, it's not fun

stalleo_thegreat · 2021-08-15T14:38:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

stalleo_thegreat · 2022-08-12T03:39:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Approaching women is fun af!
Author	stalleo_thegreat
Upvotes	1067
Comments	111
Date	August 12, 2021 4:59 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/p2t1gh/approaching_women_is_fun_af/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approaching-women-is-fun-af.1278456 https://theredarchive.com/post/1278456

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