Tip: Had a girls interest but lost it? Just go away.

SemanticsLogistics · 2012-04-21T14:57:02+00:00

Important note: don't actually give out cookies and take them back. That probably won't work.

dablac · 2012-04-21T15:36:53+00:00

but i need this girl, she's the only one in the world, MY PRINCESS! brb txting

2012-04-21T19:47:00+00:00

"I'm on a phone so I'll cut this off here, but if anyone has questions I'll answer when I can!"

I see what you did there...

Shitty_Freestyles · 2012-04-21T20:09:56+00:00

This is really great advice. To give an example from a while back, I was at a house party with a good group of friends. I had been talking a bit to a girl I'd met before(whom I had invited, though she knew others there). However, a good friend of mine was interested in her, so I had decided not to pursue it. She'd wander into groups of people I'd be talking to, I'd finish whatever bit of conversation I was in, and then wander to another group.

This turned into her practically following me like a lost puppy all night, and needless to say, my friend ended up quite upset with me by nights end. I had been still getting into game at this point, but I knew enough to tell why it was working, and its something I made sure to incorporate(to good success many other times).

There's real power in the non-verbal way of saying "I find you interesting, but my presence is needed all over. You're going to have to work harder to get it undivided".

m3frozenblack · 2012-04-21T19:06:15+00:00

Ok. so I made out with this girl like three weeks ago. She is a chick from work and she was into me for quite a time now (or at least she was flirting with me alot). At that time she had a boyfriend. Somehow they broke up two weeks ago and she called me if we could meet up. So we dated three times last week and we made out again. Then on the fourth date, she told me that she was just making out with me to distract herself from her ex and she has the feeling that I'm falling in love with her. And somehow the energy changed. She completely lost interest in me and it felt like I'm the one who is chasing her, when in the beginning it was the other way around. So how do I get her interest and attention back? I just started dating another chick, but how can I make her aware of this? Or should I make her aware of it?

Umaddy · 2012-04-22T02:28:48+00:00

I'm a girl, and I know this completely works..

legendofpasta · 2012-04-21T15:55:01+00:00

I met this girl at a bar on thursday. we danced a lot, made out and she gave me her number. she seems overall not too interested when i text her. i should stop texting her? she's a dime though. tough to do.

MrSleepyhead · 2012-04-21T17:09:45+00:00

Its cool that you’re on the phone. PLEASE COME BACK!

maddermonkey · 2012-04-21T20:51:04+00:00

Where the fuck were you with this advice two months ago? I had a girl who wouldn't leave me the fuck alone and was talking to me nonstop and trying her hardest to get my attention. I was literally waiting until things would escalate and that I would be able to get her, but right when we were reaching that moment...she stopped talking to me.

Now we're super awkward around each other despite the fact we have the same group of friends.

penisinthepeanutbttr · 2012-04-21T21:47:23+00:00

I 'went away' like a week and a half ago. She wont stop texting me.

grepe · 2012-04-21T17:25:47+00:00

Doesn't really work like that most of the time. In my experience, you talk to the girl, at some point, the amount of bullshit that she can tolerate from you and you cannot control just goes over critical value and then she looses interest. The harder you try after that, the more you confirm her impression. But she will NOT be running after you if you walk away. She will say: "Ufff... finally I can have some peace."

legendofpasta · 2012-04-21T16:45:07+00:00

This is so important. Stay and you've already lost and can only lose harder. Leave and you DHV and she may or may not come crawling back on your terms. Very Alpha. I approve

2012-04-21T23:59:40+00:00

In my experience this works. Worst thing you can do: Confront the girl about what has changed. Result: She'll just respond with "I'm just not that into you" to get you off her case. Best thing you can do: Do as little interaction with her as possible without being rude in any way. Result: She'll text you and or contact you in a short while (few weeks at most).

Migs_Secret_Identity · 2012-04-21T16:14:35+00:00

come to think of it, most of my continuous hook ups, and some relationships started with me being absent, them contacting me, or telling they missed me, and then my reaction to it, if i chose to pursue or not...

Question tho, lets say after this whole thing, the relationship is started and 'official' what's to stop her from losing interest at this point?

sithyiscool · 2012-04-21T18:06:52+00:00

This also works when you first approach too. I do this all the time at the bar and club. I'll open a set, throw a little a attraction. If it doesn't hit or I feel im starting to run on fumes, I just leave and open a new one. Sure enough, the second time around they are a lot more receptive.

It kinda has a built in time constraint, as well as show you are a friendly social person, not some creeper who is gonna hang around them stalkerishly.

Note: You should genuinely want to leave and talk to other ppl. Have fun with a new group. If you leave and are thinking about this group, what to say next, when the to reapproach etc, it wont work. Aka the gazelles will get the scent of the lion stalking them.

2012-04-21T20:28:09+00:00

I'm on the phone so I'll comment on this when I can.

ejpusa · 2012-04-21T23:17:43+00:00

This observation is more then meets the eye. It pertains to any relationship. It's not something we can control but has to do with how our brains are wired. Tribes that stayed in one spot died out, those that moved, stayed viable. For ANY woman (man), if you are always there, the allure just goes away. Know it's tough, we're not immortal, and time goes by so fast, and you really want to spend every moment with someone, but in the long run, it really is something that really makes a relationship stronger. I'm sure there are some couples that our glued to the hip, but for the other 99%, it does IMPROVE the relationship. It's hardwired into our DNA. It just is.

mikedamike · 2012-04-22T01:19:22+00:00

Sometimes it is the best thing to do, sometimes not; it's only one of the many options and has the danger of being interpreted as 'this guy gives up quickly.'

bradtwo · 2012-04-22T04:35:59+00:00

That is solid advice. I have had this happen quite a few times. Mainly when it goes a bit stale probably 1 month in. It is hard to drop it, but until somebody comes up with a all the sudden peaked interest cure, it's the only thing I know to do.

Whisper · 2012-04-22T08:25:42+00:00

Why does this work?

Doesn't matter if it works. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, you are away from someone who doesn't appreciate you, and have your time freed up for someone who does.

Don't go away to make her change her mind. Just go away to go away.

deepfriedhaggis · 2012-04-22T14:42:32+00:00

I do this from time to time when things go downhill. Last night met a girl, was going VERY well but we both got a bit side tracked and started talking again but it started going down hill. So I walked away having only exchanged phone numbers. Very next morning I get a call from her.

turtlekitty30 · 2012-04-21T21:44:53+00:00

So, you're saying go away?

helalo · 2012-04-22T05:58:19+00:00

i wish i knew this 7 month ago when i was with my ex. i dont like how u can build a foundation of love for someone and they would take you for granted and more or less, we`ll have to fight our way around mind games. why cant everyone just be direct and honest ?

2012-04-22T06:31:53+00:00

While I otherwise completely suck at seduction, this I am actually good at. I can tell when she has lost interest, and discreetly leave.

You could be telling me though, that I give up way too easily.

2012-04-22T21:27:48+00:00

This is good advice dude. I remember a while back a girl approached me and my friend while we were walking about and said we looked cool and wanted to talk to us (after I smiled at her, may I add). I didn't know much about seduction at this point but I DID know about how walking away could help!

My friend however, doesn't believe that anything described in this community works (he's a "just be yourself, even if its not working now" style guy). Me and him wanted this girl and "unfortunately" he grabbed the only seat next to her, so I wondered off to smoke and then went on the dancefloor while I left him to constantly tell her she's beautiful and agree with everything she said. When I came back she looked a little bored and left us.

I tried to approach her after but she blanked me out, not sure what I did wrong here (bearing in mind I was new then and an amateur now) but maybe it could be linked to my friend being overly friendly with her? Either way, it's an example of a situation where sticking around when they lost interest doesn't work.

ericxfresh · 2012-04-24T19:47:23+00:00

I get this, but what about when they come back? Are you all in? Whenever I start to notice a girl's attraction fading, I back off and they typically come back, but what then? It seems like I make the mistake of being accessible when they come back to me or just continue to hit on them and this pushes them away. Is there truth to this? At the same time, I sometimes get that I'm not making myself emotionally available enough and they feel almost neglected. How does one learn to balance this?

2012-04-26T18:13:41+00:00

Alright, I'll try it. I'll let you guys know what happened a week from now.

Title	Tip: Had a girls interest but lost it? Just go away.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	202
Comments	116
Date	April 21, 2012 2:54 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/slaq9/tip_had_a_girls_interest_but_lost_it_just_go_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tip-had-a-girls-interest-but-lost-it-just-go-away.1331596 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331596

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