So how do i know if a girl find me attractive or is 'checking me out'?

Jordan-Wolf · 2014-10-01T14:44:29+00:00

I'm pretty sure the rule is: Assume attraction until corrected.

And dont be afraid to be corrected.

djvita · 2014-10-01T14:26:57+00:00

you see her mirin', she looks away, then looks at you again. that's when you approach. longing eyes are a dead giveaway too.

if she looks away and doesn't look at you again, could be many things, playing hard 2 get, not interested etc.

sco77 · 2014-10-01T18:34:39+00:00

She will, in bar or other socially fluid situations, put herself generally closer to you to give you an opportunity to talk to her. See Below

7 Approach Invitations You'll Encounter . Keep your eyes peeled for these when you're out - you'll typically only have a one to three seconds to respond before a girl assumes you won't do anything / aren't interested / are rejecting her A.I. before she gives up and moves on... women won't usually hover near you for long.

The Plant Perhaps the most obvious approach invitation, although not without its own challenges. A girl goes to where you are - seated at the bar, leaning against a wall, in a specific aisle in the bookstore or clothing store, waiting for the bus - and plants herself right nearby you, always within peripheral vision eyeshot. Sounds great, right? Well, there are a couple of downsides:

Sometimes a girl will plant herself a little too far away, meaning you need to move to talk to her. That's okay if it's easy enough to slide a few feet next to her, but if it's an obvious plant but she's farther than a few feet, you're still going to have to close a distance to open If you fail to strike up a conversation with her within the first minute or two, she'll often still be there for a while (after all, she's planted herself there), but it can get awkward - you know why she's there, and she knows you know why she's there, but neither of you say anything... this is embarrassing to her; it's like being rejected, then awkwardly hanging around the person who rejected you For those reasons, if you like a girl, and she plants herself near you, make sure you open her within 120 seconds of her doing so (faster or slower depending on the girl and the situation). You can sometimes wait and open girls 20 or 30 minutes later if you weren't feeling very social, but you're gambling they'll still be around, no one else will have moved in to meet them (if you're at a party or bar), and they won't have completely auto-rejected. Best to just do it soon.

The Hover You'll see this one most often with inexperienced girls, who are used to inexperienced men, who tend to be pretty oblivious to women's signals and need those women to be as LOUD with their signaling as humanly possible, though you'll also sometimes see it with highly sexual woman who simply don't want to waste time with playing coy.

The Hover is when a woman walks over to where you are... then just hovers there, staring in your direction. Girls who do this are making it obvious for you; all you've got to do is turn their direction, smile warmly, and say, "Hello."

The Linger Quick - think fast! The Linger is the briefest of approach invitations - and also the hardest to capitalize on. Girls using lingering as an A.I. often give you too little time to react, unless you're good. These tend to be moderately experienced women, who feel too obvious doing the Hover, so instead try to rush through their approach invitations as quickly as possible - usually, too quickly. A girl will walk over to where you are... pause, for anywhere from half a second to three seconds... and then continue walking on, as if nothing had happened.

Because she's in a, "Okay, let's do this and then get out of there if he doesn't do anything," mindset, if your opener is anything other than smooth, she'll play dumb and keep going, too. This one's often hard to differentiate between a girl who legitimately did just happen to pause as she was walking past you - use context to figure it out, or just open every girl who does this if you want to err on the side of false positives instead of false negatives.

The Look About. Similar to a Linger, but with a duration more akin to a Hover, the Look About is when a girl walks over to right near where you are, then... glances about, confusedly, as if wondering where that thing she was looking for could possibly have gone. You will see this one most often in day game, and when meeting women in shops and stores. A girl will invariably react "pleasantly surprised" on your approach, and if she's interested, will show that interest right away. If your approach rubbed her the wrong way / she realizes you're not as cute as she thought from a distance (or, if she genuinely WAS just there by chance and happened to be confused), she'll be nice / polite, and get back to looking for whatever she was supposedly looking for.

Mutters and Sighs Ever have a girl walk up next to you and mutter to herself, "God, this train is taking forever!" or, "Oh my God... what a day!" Or maybe she just sighs - hufffff. Usually feel like you're supposed to say something here, right? That's for good reason - people usually only do this when they want someone to engage them in conversation. So - engage!

Requests for Help Girls who want to talk to you will often ask for help: "Can you take our picture?" "Do you know what time it is?" "Do you know where a good bar is around here?" "Can I have a light?" How do you know if it's a genuine request (i.e., she's really just looking for information) or it's just an excuse to get you to talk to her? There're no hard and fast rules, unfortunately, but some rough guidelines include if she's giving you signals of interest (her voice is softer / less matter-of-fact; she's smiling an interested-in-you type of smile) and the request is non-specific (i.e., not something like, "Do you know where the 24 Hour Fitness is around here?"), there's a better chance she wants to meet you. If you're not sure, just ask her something else - and see if she's happy to chat (it's an approach invitation), or acts like it's funny you want to talk to her when all she wanted was information (it wasn't an approach invitation).

The Glance. Any of the above, followed by a glance at you, then looking away and smiling to herself, is a blaringly loud approach invitation. About as loud as it gets. Approach immediately... don't even bother trying to look smooth; it's not necessary. She didn't bother either.

Is It Really an Invitation?

The toughest part about approach invitations is figuring out if they really are approach invitations (or not). I mean, women DO happen to just pause around you while looking for things, or end up next to you by pure chance. These things occur. In my experience though, when you're well-dressed and look sexual, these are nearly always invitations to approach. Women who don't want to be approached will steer clear of you because they know you're the kind of arrogant bad boy who's going to assume they're into him and go approach them.

Women who do want to be approached will target you for an A.I. because they know you're the kind of confident sexy man who's going to recognize their invitation for what it is and approach. Generally, if it feels like a girl is hovering / lingering / otherwise positioning herself nearby to you because she wants you to talk to her, that's what it is, even if she acts like it isn't when you approach. If you get the, "Huh? Oh, you're talking to me? Why?" response often when you approach girls giving you approach invitations, it probably means you're either taking too long to approach, or there's something else wrong with how you're opening and engaging (e.g., you're not coming in naturally enough, or you're coming in in a way that's socially risky for her and makes her have to throw you under the bus - "I noticed you positioned yourself near me! I'm Clive"). If it looks like an approach invitation, and it feels like an approach invitation... usually, that means it's an approach invitation.

So what do you do when you get an A.I.?

Simple enough... you turn to the girl and open her as smoothly and naturally as possible. Usually you want an opener that assumes a level of comfortable rapport already, as if instead of merely positioning herself near to you, she'd actually started talking to you. This includes openers like: "How's your night going?" [nighttime venue] "How's that coffee?" [coffee shop] "You must be looking for 50 Shades of Grey." [bookstore, she looks confused] "That bad, huh?" [she sighs dramatically] You can also open with offers - this is an especially nice way of assuming a high degree of familiarity right away, in the right circumstances: "Here, take a napkin." [after she's just spilled something or made a mess] "Stick of gum?" [after she's just sighed or muttered] "Have a seat, it's more comfortable than standing." [she's hovering nearby] "No need to keep looking, I've been here the whole time." [she's looking around] Additionally, you can also use direct openers here - I've had some very good success using direct on girls giving me approach invitations. It's a nice way of rewarding a girl for going out on a limb to come meet you - she takes a risk to come hint that she likes you, and you give her a compliment from the heart that she eats up. Following up an approach invitation with a direct opener is one of the better ways to get into an interaction that moves very quickly from first meet to between the sheets, because both of you know you each like each other a lot right from the outset, and neither of you is playing games or trying to hide it. Jump on Those Invitations

I'll leave you with a parting thought on this one: a girl's really doing you a favor and going out of her way a bit - and even taking on some slight social risk - when she gives you an approach invitation, even if it's one of those "too ridiculously quick" approach invitations where she was too nervous or self-conscious to hang around more than a split-second. Do her a favor when she does this with you: say "hi" and make her feel good. She's telling you she's intrigued by you and would like you to say something and perhaps the two of you will have some chemistry. That's an awful nice thing she's doing. If you like the looks of her, do something nice for her too, and make her feel rewarded for having put a little faith in you.

Source girlschase.com

abagle0514 · 2014-10-01T16:34:29+00:00

Every girl is checking you out.

Do you know why?

Because you're fucking awesome so they should check you out.

At least that's what I tell myself.

1vibe · 2014-10-01T14:54:58+00:00

Look at her, she looks back at you, smile, if she smiles back, go say "hi, I'm XXX", handshake..... Don't even think about what might happen after that. For now, a win is an approach, not the outcome.

venikk · 2014-10-01T16:14:48+00:00

If you look at her, and she reacts funny. You probably won't catch her actually looking at you, unless she's super aggressive. IMO everything girls do is all calculated, until they get their panties in a knot and they like that. They don't look at people they aren't attracted to, unless they are interacting with them. They don't lock eyes with you across the room, unless they think it's how they get what they want. If you casually say something to her and she gives a genuine smile, she's been checking you out already.

2014-10-01T14:22:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-10-01T17:12:42+00:00

The clearest giveaway is when she looks at you, you look at her and say 'hi!', she says 'hi!' back and smiles and looks away and fixes her hair (subconsciously wanting to look good for you).

universitysedditor · 2014-10-01T18:12:42+00:00

I'm gonna add something to this. After you catch a sign of attraction. You can completely destroy that with a timid approach. When a girl is checking you out, she is idealizing what you're like in her head, just like you idealize a hot girl. If your approach isn't congruent with her perception, she could easily count you out right then and there. This isn't to scare anybody, but a beautiful, confident woman has a high sense of self worth and doesn't need to settle for the first man to approach her.

Personally, I never treat the hottest girl different than I would an ugly girl. Joke around, don't cross the line if you tease, and know your worth.

IWBG · 2014-10-01T20:44:08+00:00

I'm pretty lost about this too. I noticed whenever I maintain eye-contact, she'll kinda push her hair/jerk her head when she looks away (I always win eye-contact wars now, unless im caught off-guard), is that an IOI? Or is she just obnoxious lol? I approach regardless anyway, I need to get better at not being an awkward shit; its the only way.

JaNOMaly · 2014-10-01T22:26:32+00:00

The biggest tell is that they're never very far away from you. They'll apologize even when they don't have to. They'll bend over in front of you or just stand with their butt right in front of you, and if you start some kino with them they will ping you back.

joej88 · 2014-10-01T19:47:49+00:00

If she's messing with hair a lot. Dead giveaway

jumpingjupiters · 2014-10-01T14:43:30+00:00

Just go say hi to her, man. It's the only way to find out if she finds you attractive or not.

supershiba225 · 2014-10-02T01:05:00+00:00

Smile, and if she smiles back, approach.

SciCtrGuy · 2014-10-02T03:58:34+00:00

Here's a good link. The gist of it is, that in general women are absolutely terrified of rejection. This means they frame their approach, with as little risk to themselves as possible. Look for Subtlety.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/7-approach-invitations-you’ll-get-girls

DlmaoC · 2014-10-01T15:03:15+00:00

It's good to assume in my opinion if she's interested in you/showing you any interest as in asking you questions about this or that, that she is probably attracted to you until proven otherwise.

A lot of guys like to downplay a girl showing you attention as her not being attracted to you, imo unless you know there is a reason she shouldn't be (Has a boyfriend, is lesbian) then it's safe to assume you could win her over.

GoogleTaste · 2014-10-01T17:54:14+00:00

If you look at a girl to make eye contact and she is already looking at you, before quickly looking away, she is probably attracted to you and embarrassed that she was caught looking at you. I she is attracted to you AND confident, she may sustain eye contact with you for a bit.

If she looks away quickly after your eyes meet, that does not mean she doesn't like you, she may just be self-conscious/have low self-esteem. Or maybe she sees you as someone with higher social value than herself.

penisourusrex · 2014-10-01T18:15:15+00:00

If she keeps looking at your mouth or keeps licking her lips/applying lip gloss, She wants to kiss you. If she turns her body and starts mirroring your moves and positions it signals attraction or at the very least interest. I know this isnt across the room type stuff but still useful

philosarapter · 2014-10-01T18:45:12+00:00

You never can know for sure, which is why you always approach!

Foochen · 2014-10-02T14:16:22+00:00

If you are in a good mood try an offensive strategy to find out. Smile at her, See if she smiles back. Wave at her when she is looking and check her reaction. She turn red, look away shyly or smile back hat you. This means of cause yes. If she ignores you vor makes an "disgusted" face this might Jean both but the question is, do you want to meet a girl that wants you to put alot of efford into meeting her or do you try easier targets.

TonyDAbsolute · 2014-10-01T15:40:22+00:00

It doesn't matter what you think she thinks. It only matters what you think of yourself. She's looking to you for leadership. If you don't believe you're the shit, no matter what you look like, how much you make, what you do, then why should she?

bpnoy3 · 2014-10-01T22:02:19+00:00

Doesn't the Russian guy have a video from his labalabarotory?

2014-10-01T15:02:01+00:00

It's unimportant. Don't wait for a signal, just approach! You will find out then, there's nothing to lose!

FeelTheWrath79 · 2014-10-01T15:05:39+00:00

If you catch her looking at you, then when you make eye contact, she looks away really fast?

ShamwowTseDung · 2014-10-02T01:50:53+00:00

At the end of the day, remember to go for what you want, don't settle for just those who like you.

Dee-On · 2014-10-02T07:42:08+00:00

Isn't that the same thing?

If a girl is checking you out, she finds you attractive.

2014-10-02T08:10:49+00:00

I'd say her checking you out is finding you attractive generally.

AliceA · 2014-10-02T13:18:45+00:00

Just assume both.

2014-10-02T13:28:49+00:00

I walked into a bar once and made eye contact with a woman at the back of the bar. I smiled then walked right to her. I was successful.

weedmylips1 · 2014-10-02T14:44:15+00:00

Watch this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq-vNbSM3gI#t=168

dnlslm9 · 2014-10-28T14:44:34+00:00

For me it has always been playiing with her hair and glancing at you. I have noticed a lot of girls do this and probably don't even notice it. It's a dead giveaway

2014-10-01T19:05:01+00:00

yawn. yawning is easily contagious, if she is checking you out/ focusing on you she will see you and most likely yawn. If not she may be focusing on something around you, Or just assume she is checking you out because you're great :)

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-10-01T19:57:15+00:00

Checkin' It Out - The Donnas

I know what I want tonight, and I see it coming off the street.
I'm going nowhere and I'm only seventeen.
I know about gettin' it on, and I want a little piece of you.
I'm thinking about taking a bite if you know what I mean.

Oh no. Oh no. I don't care what you wanna do.
Oh no. Oh no. I'm checkin' it out. That's right.

[Chorus:]
So don't try stopping my buzz, 'cause I'm checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
And I don't care about you, 'cause I'm checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
Ch-ch-ch-checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
Ch-ch-ch-checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
Ch-ch-ch-checkin' it out.

Get it boy, it's a lot from me, and I think I'm gonna get some now.
I've got a little sister and I'm gonna teach her how.
I know about gettin' it on, and I want a little piece of you.
I'm thinking about taking a bite and I'm gonna right now.

Oh no. Oh no. I don't care what you wanna do.
Oh no. Oh no. I'm checkin' it out. That's right.

So don't try stopping my buzz, 'cause I'm checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
And I don't care about you, 'cause I'm checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
Ch-ch-ch-checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
Ch-ch-ch-checkin' it out.
(Check, check, checkin' it out)
Ch-ch-ch-checkin' it out.

eliasalias · 2014-10-02T02:44:12+00:00

if it's in the ass she wants the bass

Title	So how do i know if a girl find me attractive or is 'checking me out'?
Author	darkblaze271
Upvotes	312
Comments	94
Date	October 1, 2014 2:12 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2hzpks/so_how_do_i_know_if_a_girl_find_me_attractive_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-how-do-i-know-if-a-girl-find-me-attractive-or.1377374 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377374

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