19yo virgin. Advice?

Evwan98 · 2017-11-08T18:31:16+00:00

Same situation - Read Models by Mark Manson - No More Mister Nice Guy by Robert Glover and The Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi. Also check out RSDmaterial I think they're very good. Since I started reading and learning this stuff half a year ago i have had way more opportunities with girls, had a couple of make outs and even have a friend with benefits atm who's a solid 8 plus having to reject a few. This shits legit my friend haha. I was a semi hard case at one stage. It's madness.

solomoc · 2017-11-08T16:56:53+00:00

How to be a 3% man by Corey Wayne.

You can thank me later.

WISE_TURD · 2017-11-08T17:53:32+00:00

Read "models" by mark manson

Cam2071 · 2017-11-08T17:06:31+00:00

One small easy thing to do to become a better conversationalist is practice small talk. Throughout your day just talk to 5 women a day. Dont have any intentions and talk to all women even ones you arent attracted too.

Just start with little non sexual compliments.

Your hair is beautiful.
Thats an interesting necklace.
Nails look amazing.

If you talk to 5 women a day for a month that is 140 interactions. So not only are you sharpening your conversation skills you opened 140 women. In order to be good at conversing you must practice.

If you want to improve yourself or change then you must force yourself to do so.

GmasMoistCake · 2017-11-09T01:25:44+00:00

Story of my life man. I'm a fairly good looking guy, but I never really got approached by girls. I'm also a pretty shy guy when it comes to really cute girls. The only thing I can tell you is believe in what your friends are telling you. If everyone is saying you're good looking then chances are that cute girl is too shy to talk to you. I would always get hit on by unattractive girls and wondered why the cuties never talked to me. It was literally my situation in their end. The unattractive girls were looking me as someone out of their league and I became that "Fuck it, let's see what happens" kind of guy. Which is basically the mentality I had. Fuck it, I'll hit up the hottest girl in the room because I already know I'm getting a big fat NO so it's no surprise.

You have to know that an awkward time at first doesn't mean you ruined your chances. Some girls find it cute, hell it makes them feel pretty when a guy gets bashful around them. The main thing is you're trying to talk to them. I'm a bumbling idiot when it comes to girls so I became shy and never asked someone out. I've literally been that guy who stares a girl in the eyes, walks up, and just says "Hey, I'm so and so, what's your name?" I get them name and literally ask then out right then and there. Pickup lines and knowing exactly what to say can help a lot, but they aren't the only way.

The way I look at it is this way. If you're looking for a GF then you can't be afraid to talk to them. Be yourself and find out what you guys have in common. If you're looking for a quick fuck then go to a bar and literally say hi to every girl. Simple enough. Younger, just go to a club and do the same. Most importantly is, if you're having fun you'll usually get approached. Don't just go to a bar or a club and be a wall flower. Get out there and show you can be fun by dancing or just being surrounded by friends. And if you're with friends, try and break off from time to time. It's difficult to be approached when you're surrounded.

It's trial and error man. If you don't go out and try you won't learn anything about girls. Believe me, I k ow it's tough to break out of a shell. I was 18 before I ever got with a girl. It gets easier and easier the more girls you talk to. The #1 thing is just say something. Ask them out. You don't need a plan, all you need is hey want to go out on the weekend? Get the number and plan something with the few days till the weekend.

Good luck.

powerslave118 · 2017-11-08T20:09:35+00:00

I was 22 before i lost my virginity. Who cares? Just enjoy life, sex is not the greatest thing ever - it's damn nice but it's only a small part of all the good things in life.

Cobraess · 2017-11-08T19:44:10+00:00

My boyfriend was 19 when he first had sex, with me as his first. From my own first hand account his confidence, laid back nature, and 0 signs of desperation completely won me over, not exclusively, but in regards to seduction. He was just so calm, and collected, so casual and appealing in demeanor.

We didn’t really do much talking and instead played more games - we went to a classical concert with a party afterwards where he threw ice cubes down my shirt and then we just sat on the floor laughing and stuff. Just take it easy, don’t put too much emphasis on the situation.

We got to know each other by just bringing Starbucks after hitting it off online talking about games.

ihatemyworkplace1 · 2017-11-09T00:28:32+00:00

I'm 24 and still a virgin, don't worry so much about it.

Gamma_Male_ · 2017-11-09T04:11:25+00:00

A mostly unpopular opinion here but my advice would be see a therapist or psychologist. Many of this type of insecurities have roots in your childhood and won't go away by forcing some 'mindsets' onto yourself or just trying to 'man up' and 'not be a pussy'.

If I hadn't done that I would've given up on meeting women altogether because it was just too painful and the anxiety was simply unbearable.

Messisfoot · 2017-11-08T20:31:17+00:00

It's really simple, you yourself seem to know it. Stop being passive and waiting for girls to make moves. That's your problem and nothing will change until that does.

I find this to be a problem with a lot of +18 y.o. virgins; almost as if missing out on high school sex makes you guys desperate to get laid... and women can pick up on it from a mile away.

As far as making engaging conversations, I predict it also has to do with the fact that you are probably fixated on losing that V-card. Every conversation should be treated as such, a chance to meet someone unique in this short life we have on this planet. The conversation will only be as enjoyable as you make it. But if losing your virginity is all that is on your mind, your conversations will usually revolve around this - signaling your desperation to any woman you meet.

That's really all you have to get your head around to be successful in these initial steps.

DanOwaR666 · 2017-11-09T02:19:55+00:00

Go around with the attitude in mind that you don't care about women's attention or that you're just fine and you don't need or desire their approval. Be confident and KNOW that you're a catch without being cocky about it and girls will wonder what makes you not crave their attention. "Somebody that laid back and confident must be a great dude. Maybe I'm not good enough for HIM. I better suck his dick to make sure" -girl at a place that you can take home

orukai · 2017-11-08T19:48:15+00:00

What helped me in the past is not giving a shit. Whatever they feel about what you said how you said it etc. Just don't give a shit about the outcome.

Chances are 30 seconds to 1 minute after a negative interaction with you they'll forget about it. So there's no reason to get worked up on the outcome.

I'm not saying be an ass, just be the most unadulterated version of yourself.

Ftcctf · 2017-11-08T20:21:00+00:00

Gain a honest appreciation in women and approach them childlike curiosity. Showing genuine interest in anything will carry you far in life.

Danjkeys · 2017-11-09T01:35:33+00:00

Talk to girls, trust me they won't attack you or point and laugh.

SikhCrimsonErman · 2017-11-09T01:50:54+00:00

Yo one thing that helped me was reading Levels of Energy by Frederick E. Dodson. You can find a free pdf on libgen.pw just read the first 20 pages for a start and see if it applies to you. I for sure can say it relates to me :)

Danjkeys · 2017-11-09T01:59:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

moshimoshidevondesu · 2017-11-09T03:39:54+00:00

It's funny man, you and I have/had almost the same exact problem. I'm 20 now, but before I decided that I needed to get better with women I couldn't get a girl to save my life, even though I had a great sense of style, great body, took great care of myself, was handsome in the eyes of many, etc.

Girlschase.com brodie. They have everything you need and more, if you're willing to put in the work of course. OP, given your specific issue I'd start with these articles:

The Beginning is the Hardest Part: http://www.girlschase.com/content/beginning-hardest-part

Your Fundamentals Are Everything: http://www.girlschase.com/content/if-you-want-do-well-girls-fundamentals-are-everything

How to Get Started: http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-started-picking-girls

5 Things Needed to Get Good w/ Women: http://www.girlschase.com/content/what-should-you-focus-get-good-women-fast

Disclaimer: Girlschase material has been described as being akin to a PhD in seduction (I forgot who said this, probably Chase himself but whatever). It's a lot to take in, but I'm sure this resource will be of great use to you, just as it was for me when I was lost and confused. Best of luck to you OP

answermeanything · 2017-11-09T10:55:00+00:00

REJECTION THERAPY, it's science bro! Goodluck! Wish you the best.

guyinhisroom · 2017-11-11T05:21:05+00:00

Read Models by Mark Manson and check out some RSD stuff to understand that women don't feel attraction the same way as men. Men are primarily attracted to looks, while women are primarily attracted to personality, status, etc. Now, the next step is to just work on yourself. Two routes I'd recommend for this are lifting and reading (if you don't already do these hobbies). Lifting is a great hobby for your physical health, but it may be even better for your mental health. You will leave the gym feeling high from endorphins and I find that the next day I am more energized and peaceful overall. I didn't start reading a lot until earlier this year, and its awesome. Its like upgrading your mindset. You get a fresh perspective on things, and it makes you a better conversationalist. Just read anything that interests you, you don't need to be super picky or read shakespeare or something lol. Check out the app overdrive. If you have a public library card, you can use it to borrow audiobooks for free. It doesn't have to be self-improvement books either, but some self-improvement books that I'd recommend are The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (teaches you about ego, and how to live in the present) and How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (teaches you the importance basic social skills that you might overlook). On top of lifting and reading you gotta be working towards something. You need to have goals aligned because what girl would wanna be with a guy who has no sense of direction in life. No girl wants to be with a guy whose soul purpose is to be in a relationship. You gotta have a full life with or without a relationship. Have a bunch of cool hobbies, have a job that excites you, have a well-toned body, have quality friends, have a plans for the future, have opinions, have travel plans, etc. That is the secret to non-neediness. Build this mindset, "hey I'm over living my own awesome life, and if you wanna join in then thats awesome, but if not then thats okay too." That is a non-needy mindset, and it is attractive since there is no pressure on the girl. Think of when a person is telling you a joke. If they tell you the joke and laugh nervously and look at you hoping you'll laugh, then you probably won't laugh and you'll feel uncomfortable because you can sense that they NEED you to laugh so that they feel a sense of approval. On the other hand, if a person tells a joke they find funny and doesn't give a crap whether anyone laughs, then more people are likely to find it funny. So yeah, to sum up all this. Stop focusing on being in a relationship, and that will inversely bring you closer to being in a relationship. Build a life that you would want to be a part of if you were an attractive girl looking in from the outside.

GET_IN_THE_VAN · 2017-11-08T18:49:35+00:00

get small wins man. Being a 19 yo virgin is fine. I was pretty similar to you when I was your age. Now life is paradise

Wearewhoweare1 · 2017-11-08T17:11:40+00:00

Download tinder and practice there. Go out with friends and talk to people by proxy. Ask questions a lot. 90% of seduction is listening because people want to be heard Relate to their experiences Talk about the things you wanna talk about Base your self esteem on taking action rather than the result

JohnnyBGucci · 2017-11-09T00:04:27+00:00

Trying to lose your virginity is where you'll become just some sort of needy slob. Everything is about becoming your best self, becoming the most attractive person you can be. Once you're there, things come naturally.

I'm 19 and I've denied opportunities to have sex, even within this last week, because I feel like I can do better than sleep with some airheaded piece of ass or sleep with some guy's horny girlfriend. Hold onto your self worth and don't fuck just to fuck.

2017-11-08T21:50:10+00:00

Grab one by the pussy

macaroon18 · 2017-11-09T05:28:41+00:00

Put yourself around older women, like alot older than you.

passintimendgas · 2017-11-09T13:30:43+00:00

Don't stress about being a virgin. Not saying you should stay a virgin (or vice versa), but don't stress about it too much.

Roman_Stallion · 2017-11-09T13:42:34+00:00

Late but I’ll tell you my story. I was a virgin at 19 as well. Many people are. There may be various reasons, and definitely look into understanding why (saw a comment suggesting this). For me it was a wayyy fued up family and the fact that I very dedicated to my sport and had few friends. I wasn’t bad looking as well. What I did: I got into the game. Street game, specifically. I was lucky because I lived in a big city and met normal guys like me (a bit older). I got laid in 3 months. Got lucky a couple more times and then got into a relationship. So, while there is the chance that you are a bit fed up, we all are: just start approaching and you will get some. Logistics will depend on your location, etc. but it can be done!

fratinfiltrator · 2017-11-10T04:51:34+00:00

I was literally you until this year, sophomore in college. I had been in a ton of flings (relationships just aren't my thing), been told I'm attractive, hot even. I find escalating to the kiss easy, but getting the girl to the bedroom was always an insane challenge for me, hence the reason I was a virgin until I was 19. The trick is to go to where there are a lot of girls looking for a good time. If you're in college, find your way into a party, invite or not. Then just mingle. You're probably anonymous, so don't worry about people judging you. Just move with the music playing, set your eyes on a girl and make eye contact. Don't shy away. Approach her, touch her hand or shoulder and get her to dance with you. Make it playful, and transition into grinding. If you get good vibes, odds are she will too. Kiss her neck or cheek while you're grinding with her to test the waters, usually she'll get the message and turn her head for you to really kiss her. It sounds raunchy making out in a frat party but everybody does it. Get to that level, then ask what she's doing later. Make your intentions clear. Go home with her (or take her home if her roommate is home), and you're in. Congrats.

indigogirl00 · 2017-11-12T07:20:23+00:00

I'm a girl and when a guy compliments me first time they met me, I just say thank you and move on. I think the best way to get to know a girl is just introducing yourself and asking how are they. Let the convo go from there instead of showering her with compliments. Girls can sense when a guy is a phony and all he wants is sex. I'd follow this advice if you want meaningful relationship and lose your virginity that way. If you just want to bone someone and never see them again, I'd just join tinder or other dating apps.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-13T07:27:29+00:00

I'm tired of fucking things up with girls because of insecurities and neediness.....How can I change?

Negative thoughts create a feedback loop. Thoughts like this can lead to a change in brain chemistry, and a feeling. This feeling can lead to more thoughts about a bad feeling, and then back to more negative thoughts. These negative thoughts can be fought and your brain re-wired. Two takes on fighting them: 1 2

I workout and take care of myself, girls find me good looking and my friends always tell me I have a great style.j

This is for you.

It really doesn't constitute "game." It's about self-respect. Which is necessary, but not sufficient to be attractive. (Hint: Confidence is necessary and sufficient. And you'll address this by fighting negative thoughts.)

But when it comes to attracting, terrible.

That's because you don't really "attract" people, per se. You make it sound like some sort of thing that you DO, when a lot of it is really out of our hands. There ARE women out there who would want you. And women who don't. The key is to get out there and interact with people and go through the discovery process with them. If you go in assuming that you need to do the "right thing" in order to attract someone before they'll like you, then you're going to scare off a lot of yeses.

I can't make engaging conversations

You are making it too complicated. You don't even need an amazing opener. Hi really does work. How's your day/night going? is another good one. The key is to LISTEN actively to their answer once their mouth starts moving. And then you take something from what they just said, and follow-up based on that. Follow-up trying to find out things like why she did something or how she felt about something. Get people to open up. That's more than enough.

Honestly, too many people never listen or paying attention, so simply doing that will make you stand out.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-11-08T18:39:06+00:00

Don't worry so much about making conversation, but do learn to ask better questions. Girls like to talk, and in a man/woman relationship, it's the woman who is supposed to entertain/please the man. That is to say, a woman that likes you will talk and try to qualify herself to you.

Title	19yo virgin. Advice?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	202
Comments	81
Date	November 8, 2017 4:44 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7bmizq/19yo_virgin_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/19yo-virgin-advice.1436567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436567

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