Women are uncomfortable around me, what do I do?

Cantloginhere · 2018-11-11T13:27:30+00:00

We legit need a video of you getting this reaction to critique. Alternatively could be something like halitosis.

mrrooftops · 2018-11-11T15:08:22+00:00

Creepy basically means you make people feel on edge because they feel like there is a dishonest agenda with you beyond what you think you're presenting to them. You're most likely an awkward over-thinker which communicates incongruent control freak. This creeps people out because you're probably displaying through body language that you're on edge without realising it. People pick up on this and it puts them on edge too - it's a subconscious sympathetic response - the animal brain in people thinks 'if he's acting on edge there must be something bad that I don't know about so I should be alert like him' and/or 'he's trying to be what we believe he is not and it's awkward, he's trying to subtly manipulate us'. This is tiring. Fucking tiring. Women will feel like your behavior is being dishonest and their filters red flag you off the bat.

JohntheAnabaptist · 2018-11-11T13:17:00+00:00

I feel like without explicit examples of your behavior, any response is pure speculation

john9401 · 2018-11-11T13:32:49+00:00

If you have any girl friends I would ask them bro

iwasblocked · 2018-11-11T15:19:35+00:00

An interesting thing to note is that the people who have the opposite of this problem going for them - where everyone they meet just likes them instantly and it’s not obvious why - likely experience a positive compounding effect, whereas you’re probably experiencing a negative one. Meaning if people automatically respond well to you this leads to more confidence and more of an implicit abundance mentality, which makes you more attractive, which reinforces your confidence and so on. And conversely if you repel people just by talking it’s gonna give you a complex, which will make you insecure, which will repel people and so on...

What this means, in theory at least, is that if you can break the negative feedback loop you’re currently in and start attracting people you’ll be able to flip the polarity of your whole social game and start getting people to like you. To help you with this I’ll provide a list of areas where you could be going wrong:

carrying around negative emotions (especially repressed ones)
unconsciously sabotaging yourself
feeling desperate
having a scarcity mindset
having a bad gait (look it up)
poor posture
dissociating / not listening (people like people who pay attention to them, they don’t like people who just wait for their turn to talk)
poor social calibration (talking too loudly, not understanding personal space etc)
carrying muscular tension in your face and your body (rigid and tense people make those around them feel rigid and tense)
being cursed/hexed (yes, I’m aware this probably sounds ridiculous but I am happy to explicate it further for anyone who’s interested)

^ run through this list as objectively and honestly as you can. Meditate to relax your muscles, do shadow work to identify any repressed negative feelings that could be causing self-sabotage, listen to Alan Watts seminars and study mindfulness. Learn techniques to generate strong positive emotions.

Let go of your desire to be liked and direct your attention outward: look for the fun and amusing aspects of people and situations and you’ll begin to attract those things like crazy. Consider seeing a hypnotherapist so they can install a new frame into your unconscious. And most importantly, STOP viewing yourself as broken or being infected by some social “bug.” Define what’s happening as a temporary issue and decide that you are going to resolve it.

I’ll finish up by saying that people can’t read thoughts, but they can read vibes. When people say “there’s something off about that guy” what they often mean is “that person is carrying around negative emotions and they’re transferring onto me, and I dislike them for it” (that or they’re sensing glibness/incongruence that makes them feel you’re untrustworthy, which you can fix by being direct and unfiltered) We’re herd creatures and we rely on one another for emotional cues. If those around us feel good, we feel good. If they feel bad, we feel bad. So start practicing feeling awesome and you’ll find that people won’t be able to dislike you even if they want to.

ericporing · 2018-11-11T13:20:31+00:00

Talk to yourself in the mirror and reflect. Pun intended.

OniABS · 2018-11-11T14:22:01+00:00

Might be the way you hover your hands over your victims as you speak?

But seriously, we can't tell based off of your description. If you talk like how you describe problems, it may be that you are overly clinical without saying anything. I.e. you may be circumlocutionist.

Seems like you're talkative, self-conscious and probably display too much internal monologue and artificial behavior.

In that case, the advice would be to 'relax,' and not think that life is some sort of formula. Just get out there and have fun; not be procedural. Tell your friend the same and good luck!

But otherwise, videotape yourself privately and also videotape yourself approaching (or even just audio record that one -- put your phone on record and upload file.) This way we can listen and give you a better answer.

Young-Sire · 2018-11-11T14:26:25+00:00

Take away your looks, clothing and overall personality that you think should be getting the girls attention.

Instantly draw a line here because in reality none of this matters. While being presentable makes you more approachable. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they will still stick around for conversation. Ive met unattractive people that have amazing conversation skills and can still talk to the other gender very well without coming off as creepy.

It also seems like you’re a little self conscious. Remember that the best way to be confident is by faking being confident. Just because you think you look good doesn’t mean that’s how it comes across in your persona.

The most attractive thing girls find in guys is their ability to be comfortable and confident in themselves. You could literally talk about last weeks episode of the wiggles and if you come across humorous and confident. Even that could be interesting.

Also you talk about going out with your buddy and making things worse at the club ? That doesn’t surprise me at all honestly. If you’re trying to genuinely meet girls why would you start by going to the club and bringing your buddy that you know has the same problem as you. Branch out and make some solid guy friends first. Learn from them. Once you master that then make some solid girl friends. Learn from them too and don’t make everything sexual and “creepy”

Also remember that nobody is interested in someone that doesn’t have anything to contribute. They say on the first day of school one of the best ways to make friends is to bring a pack of gum. Everybody loves someone that has something to offer. I’ve met people that have traveled the world for free just by simply having good stories to tell people. Even if it’s as simple as story telling or giving someone some gum, that’s much better than nothing.

Figure out these problems within yourself first before you try to bring a girl into the picture with you. Hope this helps.

2018-11-11T14:25:40+00:00

Perhaps you’re over-attentive? Meaning you’re investing too much in the other person and not giving them space to gather interest in you

auron_py · 2018-11-11T15:03:49+00:00

Yeah, as others have said, we're just going to speculate endlessly without proper examples, i don't know, a video of you speaking in the mirror or introducing yourself to see how you carry yourself around maybe?

I had one girl in the past tell me that I look like I have a bad temper but when you get to talk to me it is totally the opposite, so what I do now when I meet someone is i give a warm smile and try to smile whenever I can, keeping a comfortable amount of eye contact when they speak and stuff like that.

I work in quite a big University so I meet a LOT of people through the day and I think it works because after greeting someone like that the next time i see them it is THEM who are the first to say hello while smiling a lot and being really friendly (both women and men).

Another big point that I think people often miss is that while doing small talk is not to talk about negative stuff if you can help it.

Is it hot outside? Say how a beautiful day it is to go to the park or to the beach, is it raining? Tell them how much you love how cozy and relaxing rainy days are. Just stay positive on the first interactions and people will almost always meet you with positivity.

NuclearMisogynyist · 2018-11-11T15:30:37+00:00

I used to feel the same, like I was creeping women out. And the answer ... I was being a creep.

I did all the stuff you talk about but I had one clear goal. I wanted to have sex with women. That was my goal. I noticed that if I was talking to a woman I wasn't attracted to, I relaxed and was my normal self and I got very positive responses from those women. When there was a woman I was attracted to, my mind wanted one thing.

One day I finally realized how much of an asshole mentality that was. And started seeing women as people first. I started to get much more positive responses in all interactions with women.

OrwellianHell · 2018-11-11T16:33:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jdubbyak · 2018-11-11T13:50:36+00:00

You have the anti-kavorka!

2018-11-11T18:17:23+00:00

Have your buddy video you (or just observe you) when you’re interacting with women and then critique it. Also, video or watch your buddy and try to help him where he’s going wrong. He probably is doing the same stuff as you. My guess is you’re just coming off closed and needy, and you probably lack energy and enthusiasm.

I recommend you read the Book of Pook and The Alabaster Girl.

Watch Zan’s 21 talk.

sii_sii · 2018-11-12T00:36:55+00:00

I used to know this guy who would stare intently into people's eyes and get close when interacting and it creeped us out. Maybe it could be some mannerism?

liberty1127 · 2018-11-11T15:14:53+00:00

Are you sure you aren't ugly?

Rickard403 · 2018-11-11T14:36:45+00:00

Ask for perspective. Do i seem off-putting? Ask guys about (who might be put off by you) about what woman might not like or why woman are put off.

simonx9000 · 2018-11-11T14:55:34+00:00

It seems like you have adopted behaviors or a personality that people don't like. I'm not sure it's hard to judge. We need a video of you talking and acting as if the camera was someone you're talking to. There's a statistical phrase "correlation is not causation". It can be alot of factors. It could be that you try too hard. One of my co worker is 35 and he uses phrases like hash tag and tries to be cool. He uses weird jargons that is very dumb like what's the hot tea or hash tag petty. You can sense the try hard in him. I use to know another guy who disrespected women co workers and everyone noticed. These people are unaware why they don't have friends. It's very hard to judge your situation.

im_unseen · 2018-11-11T16:23:47+00:00

Alright im gonna attempt to solve ur issue.

im guessing your problem of creepiness is coming deep within. deep within you are trying to take energy from the party or you want something from them rather than having a face level interaction and just enjoying it, contributing and asking about things theyre interested in.

Soyyyn · 2018-11-11T21:21:23+00:00

I'll wager a guess: It's the circle of thoughts you're caught in right now that amplifies this.

Somebody told you you're creepy for a reason you were probably slightly at fault for, maybe not, who knows. Consequently, you start looking at your behaviour, trying to copy others, making choices based on what you think will give you the most success in social situations.

This stops you from relaxing. It keeps you on edge. When you talk, you wonder if what you'll say next or what you just said was creepy. When you walk or look at someone, you don't think about what you're looking at, you're asking yourself whether or not you're staring, whether you're creepy.

Mate, relax. Try to, at least. Taking a look at what you did should only happen in the privacy of your own home, alone. When you're in a social situation, you should be too busy interacting with people to retreat into your mind space.

However, people who suffer from anxiety (and other things impeding mental health) can never stop themselves from thinking too hard about something bad, and it's not really their fault. If you feel like you're never in control of your thoughts, try to look at some videos or texts explaining social anxiety and see if you might consider getting help if you want it.

Stay strong, brother.

chronosthetitan · 2018-11-11T22:23:44+00:00

Ever diagnosed on the spectrum?

FirstProspect · 2018-11-11T13:44:03+00:00

I had an autistic friend who had this experience. Do you, or could you be on the spectrum?

2018-11-11T14:27:01+00:00

Yeah you're going to have to ask someone who will be honest with you. Also if your friend is apparently creepy too, is there anything specific about him that you notice? I'm interested in if you're socially aware enough to see what's wrong with him. Sudden jerky movements that suprise or startle girls?

aushimdas16 · 2018-11-11T14:22:04+00:00

You need to talk about this to a woman. Any woman you're close to, your mom, sister, friend, anyone who's a female. It's just a minor misunderstanding, I'm sure.

SelfLoveArmy · 2018-11-11T15:10:49+00:00

Let's have a call and I can give you better feedback. Generally, when men are perceived as creepy it's because they are unaware of their physical space and their expressions of sexuality, or they are "awkward" in the sense that they are not aware of the emotional response of others so their emotional calibration is off. Autistic men are not creepy by any means, but they also regularly struggle with emotional calibration.

You could be: uneasy, smarmy, etc. but I suspect you are TRYING WAY TOO HARD.

ronconcoca · 2018-11-11T15:13:24+00:00

It could be body odor

Ilovethaiicedtea · 2018-11-11T15:21:07+00:00

Like people have said hard to give advice here.

To make people feel comfortable around you I'd suggest reworking how you converse entirely since you say looks aren't the issue here.

First, less is more here. Being "comfortable in silence" is very powerful with women for a few reasons. People tend to think that people that aren't responding and instead are listening are agreeing with them. If a woman says something about who she is as a person, don't immediately refute it, just adopt a live and let live approach to conversations once you have people talking about themselves.

Second, only say positive things. You can always say something positive about anything as long as you can use the right non-committal language. Women generally aren't going to hit you with "my dog/mom just died" on a first date or at a bar, but they might hit you with " I had a stressful day had a flat tire etc". Finding positivity or relating with a FUNNY UPBEAT anecdote about when that happened to you will steer the conversation positively.

Finally, give people security. People, especially women, do better with an itinerary. Give them a way out or a way in (escalate) as soon as you sense they need it. This can salvage so many interactions, because it conveys a sensitivity to others needs AND the willingness to take action to make things better for others which are both positive qualities in a partner.

taversham · 2018-11-11T16:58:34+00:00

Go and see a body language coach, or if you can't find one of those near you then an acting teacher can also show you how to give off a less creepy impression.

Another possibility is that it might be something to do with your voice, if people's reaction is changing right after you start speaking. You could work on the tone and timbre of your voice to help with that.

...otherwise it's hard to tell without seeing what's actually going on.

Liquidfiree · 2018-11-11T17:31:55+00:00

Could you let go of the thought that people don't like you, just for a second?

Who would you be without the thought, people think I am a creep/ make them feel like a creep

Could you let go of wanting approval, control, or security?

Sedona, The Work, CBT and Morty Lefkoe Recreate your life might be more usefull as it seems you have some limiting beliefs.

biggie1993zzz · 2018-11-11T17:43:20+00:00

Sounds like you are lacking some confidence. If what you say is true about you being presentable.

Try recording yourself having a conversation in the mirror pretending to talk to a girl, weird thing to do but see if you can pick up anything you do that’s weird.

Also try different things. Go out with different people, get a different wingman, go solo.

For me personally, I go out with a group of friends and go do work solo. This approach has worked well for me. If I’m in a big crowded bar I always try and be active. Talk to a girl at one spot, then move on by saying I have go find my friends but then go talk to another girl and tell her the same. By the end of the night you’ll have a few options open and you can see which works best for you.

macadamia128 · 2018-11-11T17:48:04+00:00

Smile. Even I'm still surprised the difference it makes. No words needed.

andr386 · 2018-11-11T17:49:38+00:00

IMHO you suffer from social anxiety and you envision negativity in your social interactions.

Your lack of self-knowledge about yourself is a telling hint that you don't get any constructive feedback regarding your behaviour.

First learn how to be social, practice an activity, a sport. Then try to make friends with no hidden agenda. If it's tough then learn in books and on the internet. Every social situations has rules, and they are not secret. But you need to engage in those situations.

When I go out, if I feel very bad about myself, I know the evening is going to suck (unless I am crazy coherent and accept to show truthfully that side of myself to other people). But if I can summon some positivity and assume that everybody is dying to meet me, then usually people will behave accordingly.

boentrough · 2018-11-11T18:32:12+00:00

I have found the biggest thing in not being creepy is to look for indicators of disinterest.

I work somewhere there is largely female staff and I am recently divorced and I have been successful in finding partners at my place of work without sexually harassing anyone. You have to tread a little lightly, not to say if someone is interested you don't be a little bold, but just kind of test and assess.

Women aren't a universal monolith but there are some more common things you should notice pretty quickly, like most women at work don't want to talk outloud about sex(should go without saying but I wanted a really easy example.)

So avoid the common pitfalls. Then just watch for early signs of offense or dislike of what you are saying or doing and don't do them. Brush her hand while getting your drink and she pulls her hand away quickly, don't touch her. But it has to be natural too, if your hand travels halfway across the table to grab your drink in front of you and you accidently brush her, that's fucking weird.

So you have to be natural to start, but you have to back down if you get the slightest indication you've done something weird.

If I've over stepped I usually apologize, leave the person alone and in the future that person approaches me and does the step I had to stop on and things proceed (if they have an interest that is safe for me to pursue.) Now, this is where I think this applies to so much more of life and not just picking up women, if you do something weird and people around you aren't comfortable saying something outloud, they are probably still reacting. Make a joke and the room goes cold, apologize once sincerely and don't make the joke again, even if it's hard immedialty start acting normal.

Making out with a girl and you go to touch her breasts, she says no, or bats your hand, or slows the kissing, or anything that isn't continuing or getting friskier, stop say "I'm sorry" and try to continue,(the kissing not the touching) if it doesn't continue, go back to whatever you were doing before, if it does continue she knows what you want and will escalate when comfortable.

I'm getting a little rambly and could give you a million examples, but socially it's the same process, and you need to build a platonic, social portfolio to reinforce when you aren't around that you are normal. So smile, or at least put on a friendly tone(I personally have resting bitch face). Say hi. That's it say hi to everyone you naturally can. Anyone who doesn't act weird, comment on something common, the coffee, the weather, how works going. Most people will respond, stay at that level for a while.

People will start initiating that same interaction with you, then try engaging a little more, ask about two or three of those same topics. If they go cold say something like, sorry, I'm sure you've got other stuff going on and go back to mixing your coffee and go back to your desk.

From your description. It sounds like you aren't getting off the ground at all. I've been that person I've worked with that person, it's hard if you are that person not to be that person. My experience has been when encountering that is the social perpetrator goes too far too fast. Someone says hi, they start mild conversation, someone mentions say an accident they tell a story about their uncle who died five years ago. No one asked and they don't know people well enough that volunteering that is welcome.

It shows a lack of social restraint, people do not feel safe around people without restraint, you don't have to be a stoic Paragon of restraint, but you told that accident story to random strangers, what embarrassing coworker story will you tell the boss. Or you were making out she pulled away when you touched her breast because she wasn't ready yet, you stopped but thirty seconds later you were right back on it, are you going to stop and ask if she is having fun during sex when she goes silent because she's overwhelmed? Do you have restraint, will you stop after a taste, I offer you a bite of my cake, you slice off half of it as your "bite" I'm not sharing food with you again.

Social interaction is baby steps, we are all auditioning for best friend, but that is a position of high confidence (like confidential information, not you walk with big dick energy), and you need to be ok just getting to friendly acquaintance without becoming a stalker, or just blabbing baseline gossip carelessly.

Are you safe? Are you reactionary? Are you too eager?

*Edit, forgot I had to double space for paragraphs.

2018-11-11T18:33:08+00:00

Maybe cross post this to r/askwomenadvice + r/askwomen ? See what they have say?

technopath · 2018-11-11T18:55:50+00:00

I had similar issues until I finally saw a psychiatrist and a therapist. If you have something behavioral going on it is a great environment to work through it.

2018-11-11T19:16:41+00:00

Maybe you're just a really boring dude.

Kydilee · 2018-11-11T20:22:37+00:00

Also.. are you wandering around, looking, needing and craving peoples approval and acceptance? Confidence is the opposite of this. Please yourself (morals values actions). When you're happy with who you are as a person, your self discipline and how you view your life and treat others, you need no one else's approval or whatnot. Be open to people coming into to your life, and also out of. Put yourself out there. Offer 'hugs', and see who hugs back. Most won't. And that's okay. But don't chase. Spend a month or so just being open and out there, open to opportunities, not looking to try to push them further than they happen to want. A 5 minute interaction buming a smoke and that's all it is? Great! A night at the bar just appreciating the existence of life and whats around you? Fine. Be open to with life beins you, and practice just leaving it at that and being comfortable.

alphamoose · 2018-11-11T20:54:24+00:00

Maybe you have bad breath. I feel bad for people with bad breath cause nobody tells them. Usually it’s from not flossing or from tonsil stones.

2018-11-11T21:02:07+00:00

We need to see your face and hear your voice to be sure but I'm guessing it's your demeanor. Some people can just naturally be creepy. Think Cillian Murphy for example.

DajuanKev · 2018-11-11T21:10:15+00:00

Dude, from the positives you written, its impossible to be under that title. The OP sounds unrealistic as f.

K3wp · 2018-11-11T21:11:26+00:00

I would say try getting out of your own head and practice ignoring people.

phfenix · 2018-11-11T22:01:21+00:00

Get some social status then all the creepy shit you do will magically become charming. Copying other people is a sham btw, it only works for people who don't have a real personality themselves(beta males). Idk otherwise I couldn't tell you what it is about you unless I actually get to know you. Stop caring would be good advice if you're certain that you're not some sick fuck.

ScreamingFreakShow · 2018-11-11T22:17:11+00:00

You're gonna have to ask someone personally.

pentakiller19 · 2018-11-11T22:42:01+00:00

Pics

OrwellianHell · 2018-11-11T22:50:06+00:00

A couple suggestions.

Record yourself on your phone and study your mannerisms and voice closely.
Reflect back on your conversations with pen and paper and review your notes from the perspectives of others. Differentiate your interactions from those who have better results.
Look at your work evaluations for possible hints. Discuss enrolling in leadership training at work.
Consider seeing a psychological counselor - not bc you are mentally ill, but bc you need some help getting over a serious hurdle. This is very legitimate and could provide excellent results very quickly.
Remember always the basic virtues: honesty, compassion, listening, good humor, patience, integrity, fairness, etc

Good luck

spartan1337 · 2018-11-11T23:14:55+00:00

Its definitely either one of these:

-You have the crazy eyes/psycho look in yourself like piercing eyes

-You speak weird

-You're physically dangerous looking, maybe too buff or something

-Youre too outcome dependant

-They can tell you want something from them

Fix these by being more aloof, relaxed

DerpyMCDee · 2018-11-11T23:17:06+00:00

Most likely because your nervous . Either that or they’re not interested in talking with you

herwords · 2018-11-11T23:28:20+00:00

without knowing anything... i would suggest have your eyebrows trim. wear thick frame glasses even without prescription. don't stand too close to people, give them plenty of space. only approach people when the timing is right or at appropriate events, settings. if hitting on girls at a bar is no go, then try volunteering, taking classes, sporting events or...hobbies where people have a chance get to observe you and get know you SLOWLY over time. have small talks, built rapport first. and see if there is chemistry.

this is what i am learning that's working so far for making friends.. i still failed at dating side of things. and i am reading Neil Strauss's books...hoping i will gain some new understanding and skills.

jen122121 · 2018-11-11T23:54:41+00:00

Could it be your voice? The tone or deepness?

LeeLuaP · 2018-11-12T00:02:59+00:00

Ask people you trust (not your parents or relatives) if they genuinely think something about you is “creepy”.

QuellonGreyjoy · 2018-11-12T00:12:14+00:00

In addition to what others have said, maybe ask someone honestly if you smell. A lot of people have BO or bad breath and don't even realise, and never get told as people want to be polite. Sometimes it's not even just showering that helps, it's their clothes that stink and they can't tell.

megafreedom · 2018-11-12T00:21:12+00:00

A potentially effect method to find out -- confide in, and ask, a woman that knows you. Someone at work or in your extended family (not too close family). A confident, observant, stable woman is what you want (don't freak out some young thing). Do it when you have some privacy, but don't try hard to arrange to be alone - just patiently wait for an opportunity to arise. Just very politely and briefly say "Can I ask you for some quick personal feedback on me? ... This is kind of silly but .. I have some social obstacles to connecting with colleagues, making friends, and even meeting girls .. it's something I've noticed .. I'd like to improve .. I'm just gently asking a few people what might be going wrong? Do I act in a way that I should change? Any input would help me in the long run."

If you pick the woman carefully and deliver the question correctly, you should get some targeted feedback.

Whatever she says, do not get defensive or argue. You are going to go away and think on it for a few days (seriously, you must). If she cannot answer the question, just say "no worries! thank you for listening" with a big smile and leave it.

raka_defocus · 2018-11-12T01:35:21+00:00

Are you twitchy? Like butters from south park, jerky movements from nervousness, slow then rapid fire speech, changes in speech volume(also because you're nervous) , darting eyes because eye contact makes you nervous.

Slow it down, hold eye contact SLIGHTLY longer, slow your movements, slow your speech, be attentive to everyone's speaking volume go just a bit softer/lower.

Aeon199 · 2018-11-12T05:23:22+00:00

Talking to women while desiring sex is not what is making you creepy. And hey, if you're not a very social person but still desire sex, that is not creepy in itself, either (it's called being an introvert who doesn't like the motions of socializing, but still has libido, which is normal.)

I highly doubt this ever-present claim we see here, "I'm talking to women just because I like to socialize and make friends, without sex on my mind at all.. it's only a bonus" is nearly as prevalent as they say.

You're a creature of desire, and so is everyone else.

Find another reason folks, because that's not it.

What we have here is a paradox. One would have to be claiming that an extroverted "natural" is able to "bury sexual desire" as he approaches women, or something like that, and that's not a realistic claim. As if being extroverted makes one a social altruist. That's not how it works.

redbearsociety · 2018-11-12T07:42:06+00:00

Empathy and boundaries. People feel uncomfortable when you have little social awareness. You can break social norms and be very forward if you obviously have empathy for them as you do it. Met too many people that can't take a fucking hint and have the decency to pull back. Ask yourself, are you acting the way thats expected of a stranger when you meet people? And if you are not, are you aware that you aren't and completely understanding of the other person's situation?

NervousFace · 2018-11-13T00:23:54+00:00

Well everyone seems confused for why. I'll let you know what it is its probably you being nervous and your tone and delivery. Maybe you aren't smiling enough. For me its my nervous face. It scares girls away

ImJustSo · 2018-11-11T15:09:03+00:00

Just from reading the way you express yourself, but also because you literally said it, I think you try too hard.

You want to be liked and it makes you seem like being liked isn't something that happens often. People pick up on that vibe and immediately believe your reality.

Think of your body as a robot and your mind as the crazy scientist in control of it. Building a robot body came naturally to your mad scientist, but how to use it never did. You can look at other robots and think you're doing what they did, but since you're not at the controls of that other robot, then you don't get to see first-hand what's actually going on. Your robot is going to do things that you didn't even know you were doing behind the controls. Oh shit, I've been pressing the button that says, "Don't make eye contact." I didn't even realize there was a button for this! Your robot only exists for you to affect reality around you.

Another mad scientist may have an attitude that he doesn't give a single fuck if the next robot he meets will like him. When he touches the controls, he isn't trying to make that happen. He might be using his robot for a different purpose, maybe he wants to have fun, maybe he wants to find out if this other robot is likeable. Whatever his motivation, the mad scientist doesn't let his robot act like he needs social acceptance.

There's other mad scientists out there that read the manual for their robot. They clearly marked every button so they stop pushing the wrong one. They still don't give a fuck if other robots will like them, they just know that other robots are going to do so. And lucky for you, you get to talk to those guys. Here we all are.

Stop caring and absolutely stop thinking about being liked and stop giving a shit if someone thinks you're creepy. It's their problem, not yours. You're looking for people that you like and you're looking for fun, you're looking for a good life. So fuck anyone else that tries stepping on your desire for a good life. If anyone tries to knock you down, fuck that person, they mean nothing if they're not on your side. If they're negative, shitty, make bitchy faces, or block you, then they sure as fuck aren't worth any more of your time or consideration. Look for good, fun, sexy people and keep going. If someone gives you any positive reaction, cool, they get to be in your life. If they give you negativity or they're a fucking drag, move on, forget they exist. Don't lose yourself, who you are, in interactions. Don't think about their reality and what it means for them. Think about your reality. Think about what you want. You want a cup of coffee? Get one and realize you've just changed the world to be a better place for you alone.

Now replace cup of coffee with everything else you could want in this world. This is your reality and you're at the controls of a magnificent robot. One that you have built and it's the one you'll have forever.

skyburnsred · 2018-11-11T14:51:23+00:00

Maybe find some woman on the street and ask her to give you a total unbiased opinion on your appearance. Make sure she knows that she can be honest. Try doing it at night too, or ask the types of women you want to attract. Once you get a decent opinion from the source, you can get a beginning idea of what you need to work on

Title	Women are uncomfortable around me, what do I do?
Author	FitWait
Upvotes	152
Comments	88
Date	November 11, 2018 12:42 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9w3hhf/women_are_uncomfortable_around_me_what_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/women-are-uncomfortable-around-me-what-do-i-do.1456503 https://theredarchive.com/post/1456503

Comments