You honestly don’t need to play all these mind games to get a girl to like you. The only thing that matters is looks and first impression.

RoadToVictory1000 · 2020-09-24T10:55:20+00:00

Just be yourself.

Not in the stereotypical "just be yourself" bs way I mean don't put on an act and try to be extra polite or "confident".

Express YOUR personality.

Assume familiarity with the person your interested in.

If they're receptive then you have a match.

Done.

kmwilliams526 · 2020-09-24T05:29:34+00:00

Confidence is the biggest turn on. Especially understated confidence. It's thrilling to find out that someone who appears to be a regular guy ends up being one of the (emotionally) strongest people you've known.

skld2assassin · 2020-09-24T06:25:52+00:00

You only need two things: confidence and social skills. I think being confident is easier. If I want to gain more confidence, I just hit the gym or do something that would put me in a better mood. What I'm struggling with is social skills. I'm not scared of holding eye contacts or maintaing my frame when I'm around hot girls, but the problem is I just don't know hold a conversation. When I'm teasing a girl and she has a comeback, I don't know how to respond to that specifically. Does anyone else have the same problem?

snort_B · 2020-09-24T09:38:21+00:00

Looks do matter but I wouldn’t say they matter the most. I met the guy I’m dating now through one of my friendgroups and I didn’t think twice of him first time I met him, just a normal guy, a new friend. Then when we hung out I thought he was so much fun and funny that I started being attracted to him and we started dating. I would say personality and confidence matter the most, then of course looks always help and obviously matter as well.

QuantumShit00 · 2020-09-24T10:04:09+00:00

I did an experiment lately i think you will love. My lab rat was Vincent Cassel, french actor.

I showed pictures of his face to girls. Some of them liked him, he has the type, but most of them said he looked like a thief. And then i would show them pictures and videos of him talking, laughing. Having great style. Full body pictures where you can see his personality. Maybe a movie (one with Monica Belluci) if they are up for it. Then i said them that Monica was his wife, showed them fun pictures with Tina Kunakey, his present wife. What happened?

Girls were now interested, if he came up they would be interested in him. They were intriguied by his demeanour. By his way of talking/walking/moving.

So yes. Looks are important. But its not really looks, its what comes with those looks. Usually it is confidence in knowing you are good looking. It is your vibe. There are plenty of good looking guys who dont get girls, because they are too much in their head. Not confident enough.

So, looks are very important not because of looks. But because they show that you take care of yourself, you have self respect. You also get confidence by working on yourself. Which is why there us misconception that looks are very important. Because they usually come with inner qualities that are very important not only in meeting women, but in life.

I will say it again, EVERYONE CAN BE ABOVE AVERAGE LOOKING, YOU JUST HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.

Love you.

Edit: Thank you for award, i really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: To be clear. I didnt actually do the experiment that is scientifically correct, and with sociologist. I did however show Vicent Cassel to numerous women i know and are in my life. I only used that as an opening to what i actually wanted to write. Cheers.

macatriz · 2020-09-24T16:35:09+00:00

?? looks and first impression are not all that matters... most of the time i catch feels after months of knowing the person

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-09-24T09:17:16+00:00

Do social skills involve communication? Yes

Does writing involve communication? Yes

Are some writers better than others? Yes

Can you become a better writer by practicing? Yes

Does the above strongly infer that you can become better at communicating by practicing? Yes

Since you can become better at one aspect of social skills through practicing, does that means that you increase your social skills through practicing? Yes

Is seducing someone a social situation? Yes

Ergo you can become better at seducing someone through practicing.

Of course the above just singles out one aspect of seduction to make the argument simple when there are a multitude that you can improve and a multitude of ways to improve. Anyways I've said it before and I'll say it again. There's no "just realize x" in seduction. It's a skill you can continually grow. I'm not even saying it's necessarily hard or long to grow, just as there's no easy saying or meme that encapsulates the art of writing there's none for seduction either.

misterandosan · 2020-09-24T08:17:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DaNk_HaZe2345 · 2020-09-24T17:18:35+00:00

Well then my looks and first impression has been way off for years then because I’m handsome as hell and can’t get a girl and I always try to set a good impression so idk if that’s it chief

Kenic_In_MD · 2020-09-24T17:02:47+00:00

This is completely wrong, sure good looks might get you through the door but there is way more to seduction than good looks.

shusain2991 · 2020-09-24T06:18:53+00:00

I don't agree with you.

JimBeamAndCoke2016 · 2020-09-24T09:18:11+00:00

Looks matter the most. It's what sparks the attraction. Without them it's an uphill battle, no matter your confidence and personality.

nightkiller11 · 2020-09-24T14:26:20+00:00

As a girl, I say thank you. I see guys play mind game and I just run because I loose the trust game. We are to get to know the real you

pipsqueak35 · 2020-09-24T15:52:25+00:00

First impressions are overrated. The last guy I really liked, I hadn't decided if I actually liked him until out 3rd date, so about 4 weeks after meeting him. He ended up being a jackass, but can't change that.

Another guy that I kinda liked, I decided after having a couple phone calls that I liked him. We went out, still liked him. The overall situation and timing was off though.

So... it's different, from person to person. I would say that confidence and communication are better than looks and first impressions. The men I've been most attracted to have been extremely confident in themselves (or at least appeared to be), but for most of them their communication has sucked.

rdesimone19 · 2020-09-24T21:47:58+00:00

This is correct. Yes looks do matter, whatever you look like , you need to optimize your look and pretty girls will notice. And yes try going clean shaven girls like it and it shows confidence, most guys are afraid to do it they want to look manly.

shinn497 · 2020-09-24T16:55:31+00:00

You basically you are calling me ugly. Thanks.

earsurgery9 · 2020-09-24T09:15:59+00:00

correct.

The idea of 'learning game' (learning how to hold eye contact and ask a girl her name and 'tease' etc lol) is so cringey. There's no secret lines and stuff that can 'attract' a girl. ANd i've read about every PUA book in existance btw

What matters is:

a/is she physically attracted to you?

b/ if she is, don't totally weird her out (this is where 'game' can help, but only applies to people with Edward Scissorhands level social skills who needs to 'learn' this stuff. Everyone else already naturally does things in the PUA books like tease, self amuse, hold eye contact, ask questions etc) and have the balls to escalate

TheCuriousBread · 2020-09-24T16:48:22+00:00

Having lurked on this forum for a bit you start to realize the whole "seduction" game reeks of psychopathy.

2020-09-24T18:17:56+00:00

Honestly it’s this simple but it’s also this hard. Girls really do put in effort if they like you but even though I’ve improved my looks and my physique it is still hard to find decent people or people who are my type. Im finally at a place where I’m happy with how I look and now all I have to do is wait. But patience is kind of hard when you see all your friends getting into health happy relationships and you’re still single.

2020-09-24T18:34:07+00:00

Sometimes you gotta use gimmicks.

Acroxo · 2020-09-24T20:10:01+00:00

Firstly, maybe he can't even build a personality, create a character, it's a progress anyway and you won't get chance till you get older anyway, cmon its natural selection, everybody wants his babies for the next generation and maybe i got yours, because you too itchy or whatever, its for you whoever takes iit will feel it anyway

starry_eyes222 · 2020-09-24T20:21:20+00:00

So true. I think people who play mind games do it because they lack confidence, so they think the only way to get someone to like them or keep them is by playing games. Some people are also really competitive by nature, and see games as almost a sport, a way of flirting.

I think people who do this are insecure and have control issues. They're usually the ones though that pretend to be super confident. The one's that show off, and brag about themselves. They're also the one's who probably put on the most sympathethic act, complain about being lonely and wanting to find love only to turn around and abuse it when given the chance.

I use to get angry at people like this. I've dated people like this before, and I use to blame myself for falling victim to their lies, but the thing is that you can only trust what someone is telling you. If they're showing you they're a kind and caring person only to turn out to be the opposite then it's not your fault. Just remember that the real victim is themselves because they're a victim of their own self sabotage and toxic way of thinking.

Anyone who feels they have to play games in order to win you over isn't being honest with you or themselves. It comes from a deep need to be validated. This is where narcissists come in to play. There's a lot of them out there and they can be hard to recognize but just know anyone who plays games with you doesn't deserve to be with you and should seek some therapy.

mannyso · 2020-09-24T22:22:58+00:00

Then they tell you there's no "spark" after the 3rd date.

Agree that looks aren't everything but most girls with options need someone unique to keep them interested. Regular Joe does not interest regular Jill

FeralFairie · 2020-09-24T06:03:53+00:00

Big agree

JetPillar · 2020-09-24T09:53:52+00:00

I get girls who are rude to me on first impression and I think honestly it's simply because they're not physically attracted to me, if they were they wouldn't be bitchy

Eircans · 2020-09-24T15:59:36+00:00

Thanks.

Marvinkmooneyoz · 2020-09-24T16:51:42+00:00

Mind games can help tip the balance. She might only be kind of into you, compared to the competition. Every bit counts. Sure there are those that are that initially attractive that other stuff doesn’t matter

devils_taste · 2020-09-24T17:17:15+00:00

Yeh, don't be this guy, you re going tio get your ass wooped

totallypete · 2020-09-24T17:58:58+00:00

Funny to read this now, after I just got told by multiple people, including another woman, that I need to act uninterested... That I need to have something for her to fix to remain interested... I was told I need to be, not me. It's been fucking with me for a couple days, honestly, lol.

newday_newaccount- · 2020-09-25T11:56:21+00:00

Who upvotes this garbage/

BurnItDownSR · 2020-09-24T16:49:46+00:00

Or you're just some combination of lazy and misinformed.

Lazy because you don't wanna put in the work to become a better, more appealing package.

And misinformed because the majority of seduction advice nowadays is based on how to have a great first impression and developing positive social skills like being funny.

The mind games are all stuff from almost 20 years ago. Very few people do that stuff nowadays but they do learn how to have good impressions and those things are rooted in psychology but they're not tricks. When you learn how to have a good first impression, that will really be your impression, it won't be a facade, it will be who you are. When someone learns to be funny, they don't just seem funny, they are funny.

Quit lumping the the old, not-so-healthy advice with the new and healthy advice and quit giving people flak when they need to really understand something to best learn it or giving them flak for wanting to be better than who they are now. It would be like giving flak to someone who starts at the gym because they're not content with their strength, stamina, looks, and health and telling them they shouldn't improve on those things.

If you wanna stagnate, go ahead but don't hold everyone else down with you.

2020-09-24T18:15:01+00:00

Looks and a first impression. I feel that looks are truly the first impression. If that is the case, then i don't leave any impression at all 😅🙃💀

skyburnsred · 2020-09-24T20:21:38+00:00

Looks dont even matter either. As long as you arent a troll-looking nasty dude who doesnt shower and dresses like absolute dog shit, you can still get girls.

Believe it or not an attractive girl would more likely hook up with a chubby but funny/confident dude than a modelesque but awkward/dickhead type dude.

FalconVita · 2020-09-24T09:24:05+00:00

You do mind games because women are turned on when they are curious about you.

2020-09-24T21:13:06+00:00

Honestly it's not even looks. Being authentic, having a sense of humor and a good vibe. That's kind of it

NDex101 · 2020-09-25T00:32:36+00:00

Don't call women shallow. They can totally overlook looks. If you think you are a victim of not looking hot enough for women. I am a life coach in the pickup arts. Let's do business together.

Senior_Calligrapher6 · 2020-09-25T21:47:29+00:00

The most stupid advice ever, I hate these "Hi I'm Scott" guys

davpad12 · 2020-09-24T16:03:41+00:00

Could have stopped at "looks and first impression"

Title	You honestly don’t need to play all these mind games to get a girl to like you. The only thing that matters is looks and first impression.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	626
Comments	150
Date	September 24, 2020 5:14 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iyr1fe/you_honestly_dont_need_to_play_all_these_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/you-honestly-dont-need-to-play-all-these-mind.1502737 https://theredarchive.com/post/1502737

Comments