Women, how do you find balance when there is so much on social media of women speaking badly of men or claiming they all cheat? And what are your thoughts on shera seven, she stays this..

Jenneapolis · 2024-04-14T15:29:20+00:00

I think you need to be cautious with this idea you have that if you are a good woman who doesn’t think like “those women” and won’t put up with bad behavior, you won’t get cheated on. Many good women who did everything right get cheated on.

Now I’m not saying here that all men are cheaters or you should take away that message, of course not. But I have seen some women here get upset that they use the skills, do things right, and bad things still happen to them in relationships; then they are upset about “why didn’t Redpill work.” Doing things right is not going to protect everyone from the reality of life, it just gives you a better chance, a fighting chance.

xx_AphroditeDove_xx · 2024-04-14T16:49:17+00:00

Honestly a lot of men do cheat (hell a lot of women cheat but obviously this is a subreddit primarily for heterosexual women so it isn't relevant).

I'm married and my husband is wonderful and spends all his free time with me and even I don't think I am immune to it. I think it is important to marry for love but also not marry a bum. Since I fundamentally believe all men can cheat (not that they all will) and that men will cheat on the best, beautiful, loyal women it is important to marry well outside of just love and attraction.

While I don't agree with Shera on a lot of things (she is very Redpilled though, don't get me wrong) I think a lot of her advice is solid in the fact that every woman believes it can't happen to her and the truth is anyone can be cheated on.

It's better to not worry about it and just vet well because getting cheated on by someone below you and can't even provide you a good life feels way worse at least being married to someone who can prop you up and your children up. Even putting an infidelity clause in your prenup isn't a bad idea.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2024-04-14T14:15:40+00:00

There are bad men in the world, there are men who cheat and who are abusive, or who will string you along and use you, etc etc etc.

This is why our community puts such heavy emphasis on vetting, and on identifying red flags EARLY in relationships. Not to say that if you end up in a bad relationship it is your fault for not “vetting properly” - cheating is the fault of the cheater - but by vetting properly you can perhaps spare yourself some heartache.

I don’t think the fact that many men cheat has to turn women nihilistic… but you should have your eyes open wide when you are dating, and not just throw yourself on anyone without examining their behaviors and attitudes.

Being cheated on is a terrible, confidence-wrecking experience, so women who have been cheated on before might be more inclined to think that “allll men” cheat, even if they understand that objectively it is not a true statement.

Not sure if this helps… but marriage/dating/relationships are a calculated risk in many ways. You are exchanging vulnerability for intimacy/closeness… But with risk comes rewards. Some marriages are awful… but some marriages are extremely happy! And many women are in fulfilling, happy relationships… but those women may not be the ones who have time to be full-time influencers and social-media stars, so we don’t hear from them as often. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ygfam · 2024-04-14T17:04:47+00:00

i think its bs. saying all men cheat is like saying all women have a body count of 50. people that say these things were hurt by someone very badly and still haven't recovered.

i agree with some of shera's points but not all (for example this one), because she primarily focuses on money. i just can't imagine being with someone just for money alone. and her mentality is lowkey "men are trash so use them for money"

Reasonable_Tie_132 · 2024-04-14T13:13:06+00:00

I believe wholeheartedly my husband has never cheated. And I don’t think all men cheat. I think many men who are products of today’s society do cheat. Monogamy and traditional marriages have gone to the wayside for many reasons, not the least of which is because it takes effort and work and requires selflessness - all things so many adults and adolescents lack these days because of passive parenting. I have certainly been cheated on in the past by others and it is one unforgivable thing for me. It is the one thing that would end my marriage. I also think a lot of cheating happens on both parts in modern relationships because traditional marriages are no longer the example in most households. So kids grow up without good examples of love and commitment. Women aren’t raised to have the qualities of a good wife and mother, along with the qualities that make them a good human. Men aren’t raised to have the good qualities of a husband and father, along with the qualities that make them a good human. Most aren’t even raised with the qualities to make them a decent person anymore. And without all of that, each party in a relationship feels that things are lacking (because they are).

It is incredibly depressing to read the amount of stories on Reddit from women and men who are miserable in their marriage, especially secretly miserable, and seek out the advice of strangers rather than being honest with their spouses. It is the number one reason I really looked inward at myself and my own marriage and implemented so many changes.

A lot of people value independence over partnership. They don’t see the true value in marriage. But being married to my husband has been the turning point in my life. So many wonderful things have happened to me (and us) since we got married. I would never ever ever wish for anything else. Being a wife and mother are the most important things to me. You can absolutely find a life partner that embodies all of the things you want and need if you’re patient and also embody all the good traits you want in a person.

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-04-14T14:54:12+00:00

The majority of relationships don't have cheating.

I've never seen Shera Seven, but I'll try to indulge her viewpoint for a second: it could be true that the vast majority of men cheat on their wives in the social circles Shera is a part of. The 15-20% lifetime infidelity rate mentioned in the above study won't evenly apply countrywide. Some communities will tolerate unfaithfulness more than others.

Following this line of thinking, us women can do our best to look at our social circles critically and decide whether this is where we want to be. For example, a man stepping out of his marriage might be somewhat expected if the man is in the top 0.5% of earners - and the wives of these men will often know and accept what they are getting into.

Best way to find balance is to either decrease your negative interactions with men, increase your positive interactions with men, or increase your negative interactions with women. Plenty of horror stories about things women did out there.

Hang_your_halo · 2024-04-14T16:19:22+00:00

My thoughts are that those that get on social media claiming all men cheat are the loudest, not the majority and not necessarily correct. Those in stable, happy relationships don’t feel the need to go out and talk about how all men are great. They are at home happy and enjoying their life. There is no need for them to be loud. Those that are loud are unhappy and trying to let everyone know it. Just because someone/a group is loud, doesn’t mean they are right.

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2024-04-14T14:09:23+00:00

This type of content has actually been very helpful to me in identifying red flags and being more cautious with men (as a former pick-me with previously terrible vetting skills). Because it is absolutely true that a lot of men will lie to you with zero shame. It is also true that a lot of men have integrity and would never do that. It is extremely important to be able to quickly tell the difference so you can treat each man accordingly and not waste your time with the assholes.

Common_Ad6209 · 2024-04-14T21:04:33+00:00

I have been married for almost 3 years now and recently wrote a post about how Shera Seven and Tradwife ideology have rotted my brain and almost harmed my marriage. I suggest you read it in my post history, it might help you, and things have improved for me since implementing the advice given to me! I realized I was being the problem.

I highlight suspect Shera’s husband cheats on her (she says she wouldn’t care if he did, she’s just with him for money.) Personally, that’s not the type of marriage I want. Also, I think you’re right on the dot with the manifestation thing: because Shera is the type to use men for their money, she attracts men who will use her/cheat. She even said that her husband only loves her for her looks, and how she makes him look good when they go out together.

When I stumbled upon Shera’s content, I started feeling like I made a big mistake marrying a man who makes an average income where I have to work too if we want to have a good quality of life. That and tradwife content where women stay home and don’t work at all made me feel like my marriage was wrong, and like my husband didn’t love me.

But when I look within, I realize I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone but my husband. I had a very tragic year last year. I lost my childhood dog. I faced pretty major health issues and had to have surgery. I got diagnosed with autism. My art suffered and dwindled away, and I lost an entire toxic friend group. On top of that, I was working through family issues.

Now listen to me… I cannot imagine having gone through all that with someone who I didn’t love, and someone who didn’t care for me. Who was just using me for my looks. My husband was there for me every step of the way… he really took care of me. And here I was, nearly ruining our marriage because I was secretly resenting him for not being a millionaire! And yes I’m calling myself out here.

Also, it’s not all or nothing. Although we both work, we don’t do 50/50. My husband is still the breadwinner, and we have a shared bank account that we pool our money together in. It’s OURS. He buys me over the top gifts and constantly takes me on dates. And there was a period time in the beginning of our marriage when I wasn’t working and he was paying 100% of the bills, including my student debt! But then we realized we had things we wanted to do in life that we just couldn’t afford off of one income.

As for the cheating thing- you need to look at his family and his father. If his father was loyal to his mom and took care of her faithfully, that’s the kind of influence he will have. Not all men cheat, and most don’t. Also, a man having money doesn’t stop him from cheating. A friend that I quit talking to is a SAHW to a wealthy man and he 100% cheats on her. She turns a blind eye to it because she doesn’t want to work. Would I want her life even though she has the “soft life?” Absolutely not!

The one caveat is this: if you plan on being a SAHM, you do need to marry a man with money. That’s just a fact, and something you will need to take into consideration during the vetting process. Either that or you will need to be extremely frugal and thrift, not take vacations, rent for a long time (things I wasn’t willing to do.) My husband and I are not having kids, but if I did want kids and to be a SAHM, I would have looked for a man with big money.

I think like others have said, Shera does give valuable advice on how to vet and how to realize your worth. But she’s also jaded and materialistic. Instead of listing to her, I’d recommend listening to Laura Doyle, even if you’re single. She has books and a podcast, and I believe she does have a book for single women. She also shares insight as to why men cheat, which you might want to listen to because that’s a valid concern of yours. Laura Doyle has a much more optimistic view on marriage and love, and is in a loving marriage herself. So my advice is to stop listing to such angry, bitter content!

I know this response is long and I make a lot of points, but I have a lot to say on this topic. Trust me, I’ve been there with doubting men’s loyalty as a whole because of online content. So feel free to ask me any questions you might have!

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-04-14T13:33:29+00:00

Absolutely none of my social media has anyone talking badly about men or claiming they all cheat, so my sense of reality is simply not distorted in this way.

sandwichandtortas · 2024-04-14T20:08:59+00:00

I really don't believe all men cheat. Of course many do, but not all. My father, some uncles (not others, my dad had even told me who are the cheaters) and make friends are faithful, of course I won't put my hands on fire but everything in the way they live makes me trust their integrity.

And men aren't dumb, they know when someone is just there for their money, and i believe they treat her accordingly.

Once, a female patient of mine died after some time in the ICU. Her husband, who had been visiting and taking her off her in a very lovely way, told us "at least this zealous girl now knows I've only had eyes for her".

AutoModerator · 2024-04-14T12:44:10+00:00

Title: Women, how do you find balance when there is so much on social media of women speaking badly of men or claiming they all cheat? And what are your thoughts on shera seven, she stays this..

Author pinkflowerprincessx

Full text: I feel like seeing so much bad stories about men has changed my perception but also woke me up. But I also heard bad stories in real life even as a child which made me afraid of most of them or to ever be in a relationship incase he abuses me. I watch shera sometimes but I don't agree with everything. She says alot that alllll men cheat, and the women in the comments all agree and I think that's what turned most of them the way they are (giving up on real love and only be with men for money) recently I thought of something though, if you believe in that you'll attract that? And those types of woman probably only attract certain men who also want to use them because they are also looking to use the man? Where as if you believe real love can exist, (not in a childish way I mean) and have an open mind but also won't put up with certain behaviour, wouldn't that type of woman most likely find a man who is genuine while also takes care of her if that's what she wants? Just something I thought of... I understand there are alot of bad men but surely it's not all? And if I had a son, I don't think he'd grow up to be bad, neither would i want some woman to use him for his money. By the way I would be okay with what my children do in their life, and I'm also 100% okay if I had a son and he wanted to look after his girlfriend as long as she truly loves him and it's not just using him you know? I do think you should be careful but it's such a depressing reality to me to think all men are bad and cheat. Not that I badly want a relationship but I'm open to it, but I wouldn't want it if it's like that.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-04-14T12:44:11+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disappear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.
Within the last year, RedPillWomen has had over half a dozen 'Banned from 'x' subreddit' post for commenting/subscribing to RPW. Moving forwards, the mods will remove these types of posts: 1, 2, 3, 4. We recommend you make a RPW specific account.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Jewelry_lover · 2024-04-14T13:50:58+00:00

I don’t think the women who actually act on Sheras advice are up to 10% of her listeners

Direct-Ad-5394 · 2024-04-15T00:56:03+00:00

My opinion is that social medial is shit nowadays. People posts "memes" and videos of other people criticizing others, criticizing women, mocking women, judging people for no reason. I love Internet from 2008 to 2014 where you can share something fun with your friends and post your photos and where you can write in your friends walls or tag them in photos etc. Now other people tell you what you 'should do' or how you 'should' behave. Recently on Instagram I was reading the comments on celebrities and pop music artists and the comments are full of hate and judgment like, those people think that they could say all the bad things they have in mind to the artists. For these reasons i restrict my time on internet I don't even want to open socials and read the comments of other people this only make me realize how much discontent and unhappy people are in their real lives and they throw their misery on others in form of hurtful comments, critics, judgments, etc. so yes, dont expect find health, validation or emotional balance in social media. Watch out with what you read and what you decide to believe. You might even don't know of where a thought come from and then you remembered that you read something in social media

MoreThanPurple · 2024-04-16T02:34:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LiteratureOk7716 · 2024-04-18T04:45:15+00:00

Media (social, mainstream, written, what have you) is all about the unexpected. We live in London. There were 22 deaths in the last month. During the same time period, there were 0 murders in Bradford. West Yorkshire.

Does this mean that London is less safe than Bradford? No, it does not. Crime in London is rare, hence when it happens, the media blows up about it, whereas in Bradford, it is commonplace, so only the more extreme crimes are reported.

sapphiredawn · 2024-04-14T15:04:55+00:00

Our entire world is broken. It’s not as it is supposed to be, and we can talk about all the reasons why, or we can accept that the red pill is hard to swallow and we can work together to create strategies to heal and help one another.

I deeply resonate with what you are saying. I started my RPW journey almost two years ago now, and I can say wholeheartedly it has been a JOURNEY. I had to completely stop social media - something that was essential to my entire friend group.

I was a loud and passionate and aggressive woman in my 20s. I was raised to believe men and women were exactly the same and we could all do everything each-other could. That there were no differences that really mattered.

So on my journey I’ve realized that I don’t have to attend every argument I am invited to. The anti-men stuff that women post - it’s always always always about themselves; it’s about their own experiences and their own struggles and fears.

I also am also a boy-mom. So it’s heartbreaking to me to see how men are being treated and raised and all the stupid shit they have to go through that most women don’t ever even have to think about unless they’re harpies and old and alone (for a reason.)

The balance I find it about working hard to be feminine and myself and live my values. I have little time for people who enjoy just talking about living their values. And that’s a lot of modern folks on social media.

meltilen · 2024-04-14T18:39:07+00:00

Men, who have the urge to prove something, cheat. Because cheating gives a hell of fake-self-confidence boost. Getting to know your core self, making peace with it and building a stable self-confidence is not easy but people choose the easy way, so living out of a fake-self-confidence boosts from time to time is a easier way. To be with a good man, we have to work on ourselves first, because I wouldn't recognize a real self-confident man otherwise...

Shera is funny. Some stuff she just tells are so damn true. How she told the story of Stephen Hawking cheated on his wife with his nurse is hilarious as hell. I personally don't agree with her 100% but I support her 100% because she is empowering. Everyone can just take as much as (or whatever) they want from what she tells. I see her as a public figure against misogyny, but in an extremist way. I take some opinions from her and make my own portfolio.

AccomplishedFly8461 · 2024-04-14T17:26:42+00:00

Here’s the thing. Men who don’t value marriage and fear/love God and we’re not raised with good morality have no external guidance/ structure. Same goes for women ofc.. that means they are venerable to their egos and this very immoral society. So for this to change, society needs to go back to God/ find morality again…. Marry a pious religious man

Long-Manufacturer990 · 2024-04-14T23:50:47+00:00

Not all. But a lot of the ones who have a chance do.

I was just listening Louise Hay about that humanity has been mostly polygamus in the past, and if you think about it when a guy is cheating with multiple woman and they know hes married and the wife knwos and doesnt leave, that is pretty much polygamy in my opinion.

The way I would do things If i were a woman,I would marry a super atractive guy an accept that hes going to have multiple partners or I would not marry a super atractive guy.

Comments