I filed the paperwork for divorce today.

NCC_1701_74656 · 2024-04-26T20:36:42+00:00

Repeat post ?

Seemedlikefun · 2024-04-24T12:15:13+00:00

Make sure that you get a parenting app written into the custody agreement. Also screenshot any disrespect or antagonizing that she does on social media. It sounds like her behavior is going to get a lot worse, and parental alienation is on the horizon. Ghost her except for any communication necessary for the kids, or divorce. Then make sure that it is legally documented. Watch this video: it contains vital info for you! https://youtu.be/l_HatV8o_1Y?si=vhTarqD9dlLUmgS5

ToughSuccotash2007 · 2024-04-24T02:02:09+00:00

Damn… I signed my decree ~3 hours ago! STBX is getting notified in the morning. The blend of anxiety and relief is so bizarre - no idea how to describe it.

OP, how did it go after serving her??

Classic_Dill · 2024-04-23T20:26:45+00:00

Would like to know exactly what’s causing the divorce? But I’ll say this, if you feel the need to divorce, then it’s the right thing to do, time is precious, we cannot get tomorrow back, no matter howhard we try, all we have left is what’s in front of us.

wisstinks4 · 2024-04-23T16:09:40+00:00

Did she cheat? Are you still in the house with children? Wishing you well through this difficult time.

wisstinks4 · 2024-04-23T16:09:34+00:00

Did she cheat? Are you still in the house with children? Wishing you well through this difficult time.

AirSailer · 2024-04-23T14:57:07+00:00

Have you removed her name as an authorized user on any credit cards under your name? My ex-wife put $5000 on a retainer then prepaid another $10,000 on my credit card and I was stuck with that debt since the card was under my name.

LakeAlarmed449 · 2024-04-23T06:19:30+00:00

“Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again” ( I told you so) Songs get me through tough times. Hopefully this can help you

GrimStreaker15 · 2024-04-23T05:32:51+00:00

I know the pain and confusion you are feeling right now. But, believe me, you are going to be alright.

In the beginning, you are going through so many emotions, and it's almost impossible to keep your thoughts and emotions in check. This is normal and part of the process. Acknowledge the fact that you are going through a grieving process, and it's OK for you to feel these emotions.

The best advice I got on day one was to get angry "not outwardly" and realize that everything is up for grabs now. She will attempt to use your emotions and the facade of being friends and still caring about you against you to take as much of what you built together against you.

Once the divorce starts, she will be planning and working on getting as much of the items and assets and leaving you as little as possible.

Start writing a journal of everything discussed each day and every agreement made. Don't agree to anything until you get a lawyer and get advice from them. Because she has most definitely already spoken to one and most likely retained one for herself. Also, save all bank staments back as far as you can, phone records as far back as you can. Get everything undocumented, such as gold, silver, or family airlooms that are valuable and give them to a friend or family member who you trust. But, be careful and make sure they won't rat you out. But, if there is a record of it, leave it in the house or where it is. Because that can be used against you. But, if there is no record of it, get it out of there and store it somewhere.

She is not your friend now, no matter what she says. She will be using that as a tactic against you to manipulate you. You have to get mad and realize that asap. She will use every tool at her disposal to get as much as she can. Once the battle begins, they only think about their own interests and what they can get of value. Get angry now and stop seeing her as a friend. She is not, and she will only care about her own financial interests from this point on.

Also, don't show any emotions or send long texts or emails. Keep them simple and only the basic facts you need to convey. Those will be used against you once things start getting ugly and disagreements arise. Any emotional emails or texts can be used in court to give her more credibility and make her case strong when in front of a judge. Also, be aware that she is most likely recording any and all conversations you will be having from here on out.

She's not your friend anymore and will screw you over from here on out until the divorce is over. You are in a fighting ring now, and you better be ready to fight and defend yourself from all angles of attack. Because she has had months, maybe even years, training for this fight. You need to be smart right now and protect yourself.

All that being said, you are going to be alright. The first few months will be tough, and you will be having days where you feel like you are in a boat at sea during a hurricane. Your boat will be thrown around and constantly in danger of capsizeing. Just keep your hands firmly on the wheel and keep it upright. Because this storm will pass and the storm will subside and blue sky's are just beyond the horizon.

The priorities "for yourself" should be as follows:

Go to the gym every day for an hour or 2. Get in there and put your frustrations into working out and hitting the weights like an animal. That is where you do your therapy. That negative energy and emotions need to be channeled into something positive. The gym is your temple, church, or just a sanctuary. It pays off so much and gives you a foundation to build upon. Plus, working out builds and sheers up your self-confidence and releases endorphins in your body that will counter act depression better than any prescription.

Next, don't talk to her about the divorce after business hours, if at all possible, during the weekends. Take that time for yourself, and don't let that bleed into your personal time to process this divorce.

And finally, don't drink during time or do any drugs. Keep sober and don't engage in any negative activities. Just do positive things for yourself or other people.

It's gonna be OK, my dude. We have all been there and made it through it. Just come to us if you need to vent or get advice. We believe in you and are here for you.

Great men are forged in fire. It's the privilege of cheating ex-wives to light the flame!.

Commercial-Rub-3223 · 2024-04-23T03:33:15+00:00

You know what the way she has been towards I think its time to fight for full custody. It sounds she's not willing to work with you and she tried to call the police on lies. Yeah it's sounds like it's time for war and destroy her legally good luck.

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-04-23T02:08:56+00:00

I was present when my stbxw was served. Good feelings all around. Watch out for the nastiest shit you've ever seen in your life. Not trying to scare you or get you down but be prepared for crazy. Stay strong

Justincy901 · 2024-04-23T01:16:05+00:00

Put her on child support if you think you’ll be a better parent no need to be the bigger person do what’s best for you and your kids

g8rman_bass · 2024-04-23T00:37:45+00:00

I just made it through mine. Due to residency laws I fought and clawed through 6 months of hell. My divorce became final one week ago today via mutual agreement. Hang in there and stay the course. Don’t say anything unless you mean it and be the better person. I was called everything and provoked at every turn. I lost my cool a few times but I ate a lot of words. Now one week on the other side she can’t hurt me anymore. I’m free and it feels so good. It took me 7 months all together but it can be done.

zemira_draper · 2024-04-23T00:33:03+00:00

I had a army vet of a professor in college who seemingly broke character to talk about how he had gotten a divorce early on in life and how it is like field surgery, usually not too pretty but sometimes necessary. You got this, man!

captainchippsixx · 2024-04-22T23:55:11+00:00

Control the narrative ahead of time! Don’t let her spin a tale of bs.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-04-22T23:33:25+00:00

It might get worse but there is always light at the end, you might suffer now but stay the course and you will come out much better living in peace, we’ve all been there brother, only way to avoid this is to never get married again.

tigerman7777 · 2024-04-22T23:16:33+00:00

Just letting you know that I'm going to be in the same boat. I'm going to try and convince her to do a joint agreement, but who knows what will happen. We know they're all crazy.

jeffs2bp · 2024-04-22T23:11:25+00:00

Sorry I don't have much to add right now. I'm in almost the exact same boat. Just dropped all the paperwork to my lawyer today. Was hoping it would be a relief. Except for everyone telling me this is one of the hardest things to do in life. I feel like I'm walking into what my best guess a fire fight feels like. But, I have to do it. Just going things will be better in the future, undefined how long that will be.

Just know you're not alone. I'm expecting her to make this as painful as possible. We're going to make it through this, because we have to. To be with our children. And to be healthy for ourselves.

Try to find the good ideas other posts share. Try to find ways to implement those ideas. Ask for help from family and friends to share your burdens.

Title	I filed the paperwork for divorce today.
Author	Sinuks
Upvotes	32
Comments	42
Date	April 22, 2024 10:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cao8ul/i_filed_the_paperwork_for_divorce_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-filed-the-paperwork-for-divorce-today.1516052 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516052

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