My spouse had a mental breakdown. Contemplated suicide yesterday morning. She asked for separation a few weeks ago, and I agreed. We are still living together and will be for at least the next year... had anyone else had similar situation?

DarkKn1ghtyKnight · 2024-06-15T11:13:16+00:00

As the person who was on the other end of this (in need of very minor mental health help), my STBXW did cut me off at the first sign of trouble. She initiated everything, knowing it would wreck me even further psychologically, and I can at least prove reckless disregard (so says my lawyer), in terms of my physical and mental health BECAUSE of suicide attempts. I won’t disregard my own carelessness in dealing with this, but I needed a little help getting help. Sounds like if I had gotten even a little of the help offered by many here reluctantly or regrettably, I wouldn’t be here. But we all know women aren’t like that.

I don’t know, BECAUSE I got help without my wife, when she had ample opportunity over the last 15 years, before we had any of our three kids, and has known I’ve had a screw loose since our second date, my lawyer is taking her to the cleaners.

I agree with others, don’t over help. But if you have kids, and have been together for a while, I would suggest doing everything to stabilize her and make sure you can at least say you’ve tried and have the receipts to show it.

Even if you’ve only been together a short time, show you’ve done some due diligence, especially if she filed against you, to get her help. If she’s not accepting, the judge will see that. If she is, this might go quicker for you. I mean, Christ, I’ve been living in hotels and halfway houses for a year, and my lawyer is going to make her pay for that.

Good luck.

who_tf_woke_me · 2024-06-12T16:22:44+00:00

Yes, mine. 3 days after she asked for the divorce. Not suicidal but now she wants us to live like roomates and has constant mood swings.

SeaSalt333777 · 2024-06-12T13:29:18+00:00

Going through this at the moment. Brutal. Told me a few weeks ago our relationship was making her “passively suicidal”!???. There is no going back after that. ✌️

upvotersfortruth · 2024-06-12T03:42:16+00:00

She will turn her pain into anger and unleash it on you. Be careful.

Safe-Fennel4485 · 2024-06-12T03:07:27+00:00

"She's literally alone,"

Well...maybe she should've thought of that before she wanted to leave the one family she did have. She wants out of the tribe...fine, she has that right, but she doesn't get to enjoy the benefits of it still.

whiskey_piker · 2024-06-12T01:47:27+00:00

Id be getting official medical documentation on that breakdown and contemplation of Suicide and leverage heavily.

captainchippsixx · 2024-06-12T01:13:40+00:00

Write a plan and work the plan.
Kids?

This_Train340i · 2024-06-12T00:19:08+00:00

The suicide claims are a complete fabrication, it's just another vector of manipulation women use to guilt trip you into a favorable outcome for HER. Don't believe it for second. On the other hand, men committing suicide during and after divorce is a fucking epidemic that is completely ignored by society.

whoisgodiam · 2024-06-11T22:41:29+00:00

Dude, one year is unreasonable. 1-2 months maximum.

bk2747 · 2024-06-11T19:50:04+00:00

At least the next year my ass. That soft heart of yours is going to land you in a casket or behind bars. She’s having mental breakdowns, suicide talks and all the other jazz? She needs to go. Now. Worst mistake I made is not getting rid of my ex wife when she was in that state. I stuck around long enough for her to complete her villain arc. She used our child as a weapon and tried to screw me over. I missed the opportunity to gain the upper hand by trying to “be there for her.” Don’t be me.

You need to go see a divorce attorney and she needs to find somewhere else to live.

Comprehensive-Kick28 · 2024-06-11T19:34:38+00:00

Yup! Worst year of my life

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-06-11T18:10:05+00:00

We are still living together and will be for at least the next year...

If she wants to be divorced she can move out. Also, there is no way you're going to be able to put up with this for a year. Dont be like me.

File and cut finances. Make it real. Once we separated my spouse opened a new account for them and put only 1/2 our mortgage in to our joint. I kept using the joint. They bled me dry over six months. My attorney said it was all one big pot and didnt matter but things took so long it became complicated as to what money was for what and im eating 20k down the tubes in addition to what im paying a lawyer. All that time I was coving 100% of the costs of our jointly owned home, solo, along with them using the money they put in the account and a good hunk of mine for their 'use'. What appeared to be normal expenses (utilities, grocery, gas, rent when they moved out).

By the time I filed (like you, they wanted the div) I was basically told spending before filing was just joint use of funds and I couldn't recoup anything - they basically got six months of equity out of our home for free, almost all of their expenses covered (including their apartment rent when they moved), and turned the majority of their pay into cash so by the time we reached discovery (providing all our fiscal data) it couldn't be traced. Immediately after I filed I diverted all but half our mortgage payment into a new account and asked they increase what they were putting in joint to cover the other half of the house.

Other fiscal tie: who is on whos insurance? If shes on yours, and kids, you need to ask for her part of the premiums Immediately. My spouse got free insurance out of me and never paid her part of the kids costs (premiums/copays). That crap adds up.

I just don't want her to break down even further because she's literally alone.

If shes not willing to be married to you, that is NOT your concern.

The reason she might have had a panic attack is she is coming to realize that divorce is gonna screw up her life style and the way things are so she is putting you into a holding pattern with these actions to control you.

Get an attorney and talk over how all this plays out. File first. Be wary once you take control of the situation things could get contentious (not because you're a bad person, just because you took the control away from her - she will not react to that well).

Stop thinking with your married brain. Don't think like a husband and put everyone else first here - you are no good to yourself or kids if you're steamrolled. Dont just do it for them, do it for YOU two to three years from now.

henrysmyagent · 2024-06-11T18:04:20+00:00

Report any expressions of suicidal ideation to the police.

I am not a health care professional and I'm guessing you are not a health care professional, so make sure your (ex)-wife gets the mental health services she needs.

It is in her best interest this is addressed immediately. Remember, she has to be alibe to hate you for getting her help.

Intelligent-Award451 · 2024-06-11T16:26:55+00:00

Following

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-06-11T16:15:04+00:00

That was me 3 years ago. Got her on medication and back on her feet. Then she cheated last year and it was a relief after initial shock

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-06-11T16:10:20+00:00

She asked for the separation, not you. Not sure what the issue is? She has to live with her consequences. For your own mental health, I would seek a TRO against her, and have her removed from the house, especially if you have children together.

justsomedude1111 · 2024-06-11T15:55:19+00:00

YES. Man, DM me if you need anything.

Slow_Bison_2101 · 2024-06-11T15:26:58+00:00

Pretty sure my marriage broke down cause of my spouses mental health. Tried to do everything, paid for so much therapy, went myself even. Still ended in divorce and we aren’t talking. I finally had to realize she is no longer my responsibility.

Equivalent_Rabbit_62 · 2024-06-11T15:14:06+00:00

My soon to be ex-wife had a mental breakdown 10 years into the marriage. We stayed together for another eight for a total of 18 years. Dealing with mental illness and any relationship is a hell of a thing. I’m not really sure what you should do. Maybe it’s best to do what the therapist is saying for now to see how it goes. Prayers.

Rathakatterri · 2024-06-11T14:50:20+00:00

following

Safe-Fennel4485 · 2024-06-12T03:04:44+00:00

"She's literally alone, family is either dead or deadbeats"

Well shit, maybe she should've thought of that before she asked for a divorce from the one family she did have.

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