I am 40 years old but concerned about daygame...

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-07-31T16:16:17+00:00

The problem is the question your asking vs understanding the process to get past it. I'm older than you, but most here aren't 40, aren't field testing approaching as a 40 year old, and they aren't you. If you want to know if others can do daygame and approach younger women at your age, the answer is yes. Others have done it and it's not that uncommon for those who take action.

This is just my take, and a general tip, but one way to open conversations is to assume familiarity. Practicing opening conversations with women as if you already know them. Your just a normal social guy talking to new people. Don't try to come up with an opener or think of what you are going to say. Clear your mind.

Instead, have a process in place so you can learn the skill of not knowing what to say, and approaching anyway. Your mind will fill in the rest when you approach. You will learn how to calibrate after the fact. No thinking before you approach. Just start talking to women out and about, proving to yourself that conversations can open with just about anything. It's a skill.

After you are in the conversation, practice being unfiltered. Again, no thinking. Just let it flow. You will get better as you practice.

Develop a vibe where this is normal for you. Get your nerves under control and don't try to impress the girl. Just have fun, self amuse. Keep it light and fun. When the time is right, convey strong masculine traits. Use your personality. Move toward conversations that are man to women, not friend to friend. But, that can come later as you practice.

You can develop this with small quick conversations. You can practice with random people. Whatever makes most sense to you. Start small, and work your way up. Use your words, or body language, or both to convey sexual intent when you are ready. She needs to know why you are talking to her and its a cold approach. But, this can be conveyed with non verbals. It doesn't have to be with words.

This isn't the only way, there is a lot of info on how to approach. Decide what makes the most sense for you. You can also get coaching if you want.

EP_CJ · 2024-07-31T13:53:07+00:00

A lot of girls are into older guys, for one girl that might find it creepy, another will find it hot that you approached there’s onto one way to find out and that’s to actually approach. You’re not doing anything illegal

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2024-07-31T14:12:44+00:00

I have a friend who is 37 and looks 28. He does well. Girls sometimes approach him (he's got a good build) and every girl he has hooke up with this year has been under 30 (maybe 1 was like 31). It's not that creepy, it just depends on how you make it work and how social you are. My friend is the type who can go anywhere and make a bunch of friends.

CharmingRejector · 2024-07-31T14:17:03+00:00

I'm 45 and I do it all the time. Some people claim that there's a bigger risk of getting the "eww" if you talk to younger girls. This is not my experience. If anything it's the opposite. Women love mature men who can hold their own and dares to still be sexy. They feel way safer and better taken care of around me than most inexperienced 20-somethings.

OTOH if you approach in the wrong way—and God knows I've done enough of that as I was learning—then they will throw the "eww" anyway, no matter your age. It's your vibe, your demeanour, your inner game, and your approach, that they're reacting to. And all that can be fixed. Sure, a few women want someone their own age.

Note that if you're uncalibrated or seen as weak, or they feel incongruence, then they will test you. At some point they always test you, and they always go for your weak spot. If you're older than they are, they will call you "grandpa" or stuff like that. Expect it. Prepare for it. Have a great retort for it. Show them who's their daddy... (In so many ways......)

Once you learn how to behave and how to approach, you'll notice that the only times you get the "eww" or the harsh rejections are either when you're having a bad day yourself, or if the girl was having a really bad day. All the other times, it's just smooth sailing and you're practically Don Juan on the streets.

Wish you all the best!

GymBroTRT · 2024-07-31T14:24:33+00:00

I don’t think approaching is your problem. Your problem is how you see yourself. If you see yourself as an old, creepy man with nothing going for him, then yeah, you probably won’t be successful approaching 25 year olds.

Do this. Sit down somewhere quiet and close your eyes. Ask yourself “why am I so creepy?”

Your mind will suddenly be flooded with hundreds of examples and reasons for why you are creepy. It’s a normal thing for the negative mind. Clear your head. Do this again, but this time ask: “Why are younger women so attracted to me?”

Chances are you will draw a blank. Maybe after a while, you may generate a single reason. Maybe you will generate a lot of reasons. Keep doing this exercise several times a day, always with eyes closed (works better). Start writing the reasons that pop up down.

In a few days or weeks, you should have a pretty nice list of reasons that make you attractive and sexy to younger women. It can be stuff like: I have experience, I’m wiser, I’m well travelled, I can teach them about life, I’m well off financially, I can show them places and activities they don’t know about, I’m more experienced sexually, blah blah blah.

As you start building up your self esteem, these thoughts of “Will I be creepy to a woman” will start disappearing because if you have so much to offer, you are actually doing the woman a favor by approaching her, which should always be your attitude anyway.

pepskino · 2024-07-31T15:40:51+00:00

I didn’t reach my apex until about 40 my finances are in order ..all I had to do was get my body right .. now this is the best era of my life .. 😎

And at this age I know all the right things to say and how to read chemistry based off experience .. no more awkward moments ,or lost opportunities.. because I was scared to pull the trigger when I should have ..

berzerker5000 · 2024-07-31T20:59:12+00:00

I have nothing to add that others haven’t said, but as a 43yo divorcee who reinvented himself over the past year of being dragged through shit, there is a general lack of resources for older guys trying to go after younger women. This sub skews under 30. Would be cool to have a seduction sub for 40+ cuz a lot of guys are in this boat. And who blames them? You are finally free from your old lady and free to do what you want. Ofc we want to upgrade by going younger.

Basically remember this: a man’s marketplace value goes up with age, and a women’s goes down. Ofc you have to be a high value man for this to be true, and if you are lacking in lifestyle, finances, physique, etc you need to focus on building that up first.

No 25 yo girl wants a lazy ass 40yo with a gut and nothing going on. They want Sean Connery. It is even more important to be in shape and on top of your life, and if you are, it goes further than a younger Chad. Because you have succeeded in not only obtaining value, but sustaining it over time, and that has safety and security written all over it.

SparkedIntoLife · 2024-07-31T14:55:31+00:00

When my divorce goes through later this year, I’ll be diving into day game too. I just turned 40 on the 19th. I did a few approaches a couple of weeks ago while in London and they went fairly well in terms of reactions.

The main bit of advice I picked up from my friends was basically Dominate then Calibrate/Empathise. A weak or timid approach makes one seem creepy but staying in that assertive place without giving the woman chance to relax into your presence is also creepy.

Your age will be a turn off for some but a big asset with others. However, it helps if you own it and feel cool with it yourself.

All the very best to you.

Street_Ad_5068 · 2024-07-31T14:02:39+00:00

You definitely can. If you feel creepy with the standard direct "i just saw you from over there and thought you looked really nice" start with an indirect opener and only move forward if you detect that theres interest. My standard pattern for indirect is

Open with a question, literally just ask for directions if you cant think of anything else

Make an observation based on the interaction eg "Are you french I can hear a bit of an accent"

Transition the conversation by asking their name "you're very friendly, whats your name"

That little routine usually lasts a few minutes, if you sense enthusiasm from her then say something like "I have to go now but I've enjoyed talking to you, are you on instagram"

No-Preference8767 · 2024-07-31T14:13:27+00:00

I went out with a 40 year old guy when wingmen were a thing and sometimes girls who weren't into him hurried or speed walked away from him. The girls that were into him were into him but the girls that weren't sometimes had big reactions.

I would try to keep it moving and not stay in the same place for too long but besides that I mean you don't want a fear of looking creepy to keep you inside . At the end of the day , your not doing anything illegal and at most businesses can only tell you to leave.

2024-07-31T15:28:08+00:00

you can approach anyone(no minors) as long as you dont creeped them out and get branded as a perv.

you need the necessary tools to be successful: 1. the way you carry yourself (dress, physique etc) 2. voice intonation 3. convo material 4. lots of practice and common sense

goodluck🍻

DaygameCode · 2024-07-31T18:05:31+00:00

You have internalized a social norm or belief:

"Men going for younger women is inmoral and disgusting".

This belief causes you anxiety telling you "If you approach her, the 25 year old woman herself will tell you how innaporpiate and creepy it is for a man like you who is almost twice her age to speak with her" or worst "other people will condmen you for approaching the woman or being attacted to her in the first place" like it's forbidden or something.

Because anxiety has these thoughts, you may paralyze and not approach women if they are young because you don't know how you will manage the situation if she or other people reprimand you for wanting to meet her. You want to avoid the potential discomfort of that situation but don't know how you could manage that.

This is not about telling you it won't happen, it's about being ready to know how to face the situation if it were to happen and trying to reduce the chance of those bad situations from happening when you approach by doing it correctly. That's how anxiety will sit back and relax letting you approach women.

1 - How to act and what to say if they reprimand you: "Aren't you a bit too old?"

This question which sounds judgmental can often be said by the woman. The key thing here is to show you are confident and in control of your positive mood all the time no matter what she says. So you can go the humurous route by amplyfing her accusation:

"Yeah i just came out of the asylum for one last dance" or "Yeah so old, I could run for president of the united states"

The point of being humurous to what seems to be an aggresive judgment is that it relieves the tension from her statement allowing her to laugh and relax which makes her more receptive to continue the conversation and keep the ball rolling.

If you however took her judgmental question seriously and started to defend yorself or became apologetic then you would not reduce the tension and her defences would be high which would make it nearly impossible to overcome that obstacle.

There is a chance that she won't find it funny, you could then my favorite trick which I call the "put yourself in my shoes" technique. With this technique you are appealing to their sense of empathy so that she feels your interest is justified because she would do the same if she were in your shoes. Here is an example:

"Well, imagine you saw a person that makes your hearrate increase, who suddenly makes you feel a rush of excitement and joy all of the sudden and you were completely drawn to her, wouldn't you at least wish you could have a chance to say hi and see where it takes you even if it lead nowhere in the end? Or are you one of those people who prefer to regret things they wish they had done?"

This is a technique that can work very well because no reasonable person can genuinely say that they would rather regret missing chances. There is a chance she could still not be reasonable, and in that case it's better for you to move on, because why would you wanna be with someone who just showed you that she doesn't have a sense of humor and who happens to be unreasonable as well? At this point, that's just life telling you that you miss a bullet here and should be thankful for that.

2 - How to reduce the likelyhood of these type of reactions? Ask for consent in a way that she feels your interest is fully justified for more than superficial reasons.

The key to not get awful reactions from women is more often than not seeking their consent because it's polite, it's respectful and gives her the autonomy that she deserves. And even if she isn ot interested she will appreciate that you at least asked for her consent to meet her instead of assuming you can just start asking her personal questions right away and following her around, when she may not know how to get rid of you assertively enough without being harsh. Example:

"Hey excuse me, I'm kinda on a rush, but i just wanted to ask you something real quick" "The thing i saw you, and i thought your style looks fantastic on you, and i just couldn't help feeling so happy that i met a woman with so much class and i thought "man i really want to meet her or i would regret it all day", is that cool with you?"

This example shows you how to ask for consent to meet her as well as giving a good reason as to why you want to meet her which doesn't sound superficial. There is a chance she could say she is not interested, which is fine, but there is also a chance she could be interested and grant you consent to meet each other.

This approach also reduces risk of bad reactions because it sounds genuine and respectful, and nobody really wants to waste their energy being aggresive towards someone who seems genuine and respectful.

zebekias · 2024-08-02T02:09:58+00:00

At 40yo you can easily date any age girl you want, but by now you have to have your act together as an attractive man and not even blink about her age, for real. If you are cool with it, she will be too, if she is attracted to you :)

My success came in my 40s and all of the girls I dated were younger than me, often much younger (20s). Although, I never really discriminated on age, only cuteness :) My wife is 19 years younger.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2024-07-31T15:25:38+00:00

My honest opinion is that social circle is the best for finding a relationship.

Read about demographics in Mark Manson’s Models. Become involved in groups, activities, and social circles with women you want to meet, and become perceived as high value in that circle. It takes social skills and social momentum, but in my opinion will have much better results for the time invested.

Not saying you shouldn’t daygame OR do online dating. Live in abundance and keep options open.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-07-31T14:02:01+00:00

You can do whatever you want, but the younger they are, the more likely it is that they will react negatively. Don't be surprised if they say "ewww" or look at you with terror or disgust in their eyes. Call you old, call you creepy, call you grandpa, call you a pedo etc.

You have to decide whether you want to play it safer and experience less negative reactions, or if you want to date a young person and deal with more negative reactions. This is a personal choice you have to make in regards to those trade-offs: their age is correlated with the rejection-rate

epimpstyle · 2024-08-01T22:39:45+00:00

I'm 46, below average looking, only 5'7" and these girls are under 25 - VIDEO - sometimes it's easy, sometimes not. I never open with a direct opener because it is creepy, but starting indirectly is the way to go. It gives me the "power" to walk away if I see the girl is not interested, in other words, I reject her before she rejects me. Some older women are more talkative - VIDEO and in this case it is easier. Other girls look serious and rigid but actually they are nice - VIDEO (they didn't get my joke because their english is worse than mine). Sometimes, I catch them looking at me and I start to talk to them - VIDEO (after warmup). In other cases I look like a weirdo, a girl even though I'm stalking her - VIDEO - she was too young for me and I decided to leave but it is important to see that all the women I meet are friendly, nice and polite.

If you approach them with a nice vibe, because you are friendly, you joke, you are playful, women like that attitude.

Viktor2500 · 2024-07-31T14:15:30+00:00

Bro I pray to not have to daygame at 40 💀💀 Good luck to OP though!

Title	I am 40 years old but concerned about daygame...
Author	Street_Ad_5068
Upvotes	15
Comments	74
Date	July 31, 2024 1:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1egnb61/i_am_40_years_old_but_concerned_about_daygame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-40-years-old-but-concerned-about-daygame.1525882 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525882

Comments