Question about vasectomy

tinkerb3lll · 2024-11-09T16:50:17+00:00

Yes tell her, and tell her you DON'T want kids. Don't be with someone who wants kids, it's unfair on both of you. Set your boundary in stone that you don't want kids. I got snipped after my 2nd kid and it was the best thing I could have done not realizing what would happened 20 years later. I thank my lucky stars I didn't have more than 2 kids and stuck with endless child support.

Frankgibbonz · 2024-11-09T04:46:44+00:00

Sounds like you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone that’s wants a life that’s completely different than the one you want.

CRobinsFly · 2024-11-09T02:54:43+00:00

I'll be the "bitter and hurt" man here.

0 - F no. Do NOT tell her you got snipped. It's none of her business and at 40yo, are you trying to end up in child support or with a child who has a disability? I have always said IF I ever risked letting a women steal a child from me again, I would require her to prepay all of the CS she could potentially be awarded upfront. Aka never. I feel exactly zero qualms about omitting that information from these women- are they going to tell you that they will gladly nuke your family before your child is a year old because they're unhappy? Nope and that exact scenario happened to me. 1 - it leaves a scar. If she inspected your scrotum carefully, she could tell. She could also do a sperm sample if she felt like it, but that's a lot of work. 2 - nearly 100% effective. Only abstinence is more effective. There are plenty of fear mongers out there who claim it fails after years. So have it tested? 3 - I paid 1500 out of pocket for mine. Less than one of my monthly child support payments for a child I have a moderate level of custody of. Best investment in myself yet. 4 - there is no law per say requiring you to disclose a vasectomy. However, a woman could easily accuse you of manipulating her into sex and withdraw consent after the fact if she found out later that you had a vasectomy - she consented to sex under false pretenses. Another reason why you just never tell them. 5 - reversal is >90% successful. Personally I will basically never consider having mine reversed, ever... and each woman I am essentially protected from (and there have been several already I could have impregnated) further reinforces that I should never have it reversed.

mr21vp · 2024-11-09T01:00:30+00:00

yes of course tell her because it's a relationship, but for casual flings it's not necessary IMO
as close to 100% as anything can be
mine was covered by insurance, I've heard Planned Parenthood does them for free/low cost
I haven't had to disclose it for any other medical purposes, but maybe if you have any future urological issues
Apparently it can but the procedure is more expensive and painful, results cannot be guaranteed

My advice is to use a urologist experienced with the "no-scalpel" method. It's just one puncture to the sack and no sutures are needed, just a bandage. The procedure was quick and less painful than getting a tooth filled. Had mine done on a Friday afternoon, minimal soreness over the weekend, and back to my desk job on Monday morning.

In summary getting mine done, at 51 years old, was the best thing I've done for myself. It's peace of mind knowing there will never be another pregnancy scare and sex is more enjoyable now without the stress. I spend a lot of time in Latin America and believe me the Latinas are very fertile. I don't want to be pushing around a stroller at my age.

Sad-Present-1077 · 2024-11-08T22:06:30+00:00

Wtf, yes you tell her. What kind of question is that?

Dry_Yogurt2458 · 2024-11-08T20:41:43+00:00

If you can hide walking like John Wayne after he has been kicked in the balls for a week, good luck

tragicaddiction · 2024-11-08T20:25:16+00:00

You should certainly tell her that you don’t want kids and 100 percent if you have a vasectomy, Otherwise when she finds out it will break all trust. There are different types but generally don’t count on it being reversible

And if you two sleep together regularly she will know something is up just from not being able to have sex for a little while after

Then what would you say?

SoloUnit2020 · 2024-11-08T19:46:47+00:00

40 is a bit old, be upfront with her about the vasectomy.

No_Pace2396 · 2024-11-08T19:35:21+00:00

You’ll be sore for weeks to a month or more, sitting on ice or heat packs.

Brilliant-Tomorrow55 · 2024-11-08T19:32:47+00:00

Your sudden need for frozen peas on your balls might give it away. If she is a dr, she's bound to know the bag that comes with having kids love 40.

But yeah, tell her.

Obvious-Set8986 · 2024-11-08T19:31:29+00:00

i dont want to be rude but how did guys end up with vasectomy? Is this something pushed by feminists?

CharacterProper8732 · 2024-11-08T19:29:54+00:00

0-Yes you should tell her. She deserves truth and transparency as part of reproductive health decisions.

1-See number 0

2-it's very effective though you need to get it checked periodically.

3-It's usually covered by insurance.

4-Yes, if you marry this woman and she's going through the hell of IVF and it turns out you're just snipped I would say that there's some deep medical bullshit you're putting her through.

5- Yes, but it's not proven and and not consistent.

Just tell her.

Cross_22 · 2024-11-08T19:01:48+00:00

0: Yes you absolutely should tell her and give her the chance to find somebody else if kids are important to her.

1: No long term scars, 2: very effective; they ask you to provide a sperm sample one month after the procedure to make sure it worked, 3: yes, it's cheap, 4: no, 5: no (technically yes, but you should not count on it being reversible)

ctgjerts · 2024-11-08T16:44:51+00:00

1 - you will have scars so if closely inspected it is visible. 2 - extremely effective, 3 - not sure, my health ins provider paid all of it, 4 - i can't think of anything that would require you to disclose it, 5 - can be with a much more invasive surgery.

You're going to have to sort out the deception part of it on your own.

THX1138-22 · 2024-11-08T13:59:15+00:00

Lying to someone about something so fundamental in a relationship is a bad idea.

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-11-08T11:31:18+00:00

why are you posting this here?

and kids with a new woman at 40? thats a great idea.

Title	Question about vasectomy
Author	P36x9
Upvotes	4
Comments	31
Date	November 8, 2024 6:01 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gmbvjy/question_about_vasectomy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-about-vasectomy.1535042 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535042

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