Lonely/ Desire companionship/ not sure the risk is worth it

PeerSifter · 2024-11-10T07:10:06+00:00

I don’t believe in sex outside of marriage

Sorry to be brutal, but that's probably how you got into trouble in the first place. Maybe it's time to look internally and sort some things out. Being in a committed relationship is one thing. But having the government involved is quite another.

berzerker5000 · 2024-11-10T05:46:33+00:00

It’s not about them or how fucked online dating is. It’s about you. Here you are, a man. Men need to fuck women. So go fuck a woman and feel better. It’s simple. Or let yourself keep gettjng in the way.

Commercial-Doubt-612 · 2024-11-10T03:57:45+00:00

Try not to think about it. Eventually, we just gonna do what makes us happy. But to trust someone again, after your heart is shattered, going to take some time. I am surrendering myself to divine and see where it's going. God will be fair. Nice guys don't finish last.

Glum_Competition561 · 2024-11-09T22:27:40+00:00

Go have fun! Think about the benefits and freedom instead of the negatives! You can have a GF, sex whatever you heart desires. Just NEVER get married again! I think we can all agree on that part.

krazykanuck · 2024-11-09T22:17:58+00:00

The harsh reality is; you should be celibate if you don't believe in casual sex/masturbation. I'm not saying this to be a dick, but because you are leaving yourself no other option. Be celibate and work on finding peace being alone. Re-establish friendships/hobbies/etc for that need for human interaction, but come to terms with not having intimacy.

Otherwise, you will be most likely stepping into a relationship thinking with your dick and not your brain.

mr21vp · 2024-11-09T22:15:40+00:00

Sorry to be blunt but the dilemma won't be solved if you're not willing to be flexible in your beliefs and make concessions somewhere...

First thing is to work on is your loneliness because it's a sign of being needy and codependent. No decent lady with options will tolerate that.

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-11-09T22:15:22+00:00

I’ve found some interest by going to events and being myself.

unK4G3D · 2024-11-09T21:20:16+00:00

I am facing this possibility and it is really discouraging to think about at 60.

Ok-Elephant4746 · 2024-11-09T19:35:31+00:00

Can you elaborate on why you’re trying to avoid porn and masturbation? For religious reasons?

techrmd3 · 2024-11-09T19:20:00+00:00

I know this may feel or seem strange. But you can just "date" and "have a girlfriend".

YES all women who date and become girlfriends desire to be a wife. And will pressure you to be a husband. But you don't "have to" be this way.

In my experience you don't even have to bother "disclosing" your desire to remain single. If a girl has her hooks into you and is steady with you she will NEVER EVER fully believe that you will NEVER EVER marry her. She will always delude herself into believing you are just one week, one month, one year away from putting a ring on it.

It is the great game of dating and mating, doesn't end just because you had a divorce. The timelines just accelerate.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-11-09T19:03:57+00:00

Online dating is awful, it’s literally just women choosing from a large pool of men who are all simping for her. It might seem like things are going well, but the second a man who’s more handsome / richer slides into her DM’s she will ghost.

What you are looking for is serendipity.

Serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Ya know, kind of like we used to find love before Tinder.

Be social, volunteer, join coed sports leagues, whatever. You’re not going to find her drinking a beer watching football on your sofa.

Smartguy2929 · 2024-11-09T18:56:58+00:00

Not to be that guy, but unless you think the Bible is allegorical or you take the commands as merely suggestions, you shouldn’t seek to remarry. You should either seek reconciliation with your ex wife or find another purpose than trying to make a woman the center of your life and create another idol for your heart.

Speaking secularly, i couldn’t think of a dumber thing to do than find a “new wife”. Did you not learn from your first lesson?

Make self-improvement your mission and you will see all the tattoo-covered, septum-piercing, multiple baby daddy having girls won’t even be tempting anymore. You are right. It is a different world out there. Either adapt or waste brain cells thinking a unicorn is out there who is dreaming of marrying a wistful single dad who strongest desire is to worship another person.

Lean_BigDaddy · 2024-11-09T18:22:10+00:00

Get your passport, even then, keep them in country of origin.. lol

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-11-09T18:17:49+00:00

What’s the status of your divorce? If it is final - how long ago?

Title	Lonely/ Desire companionship/ not sure the risk is worth it
Author	DudeforRighteousness
Upvotes	8
Comments	27
Date	November 9, 2024 6:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gng38u/lonely_desire_companionship_not_sure_the_risk_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lonely-desire-companionship-not-sure-the-risk-is.1535209 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535209

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