Does a woman asking a man out make him respect her and the relationship less?

EducationPatient4622 · 2025-08-29T21:04:48+00:00

I usually respect women who can ask a guy more. Because you KNOW shes genuinely interested even if she has ppl in her dms. Also, just the courage it took her, i salute her for it.

What lazy men conclude fast = she must ask a lot of guys. And trigger insecurity. But in reality, a hoe is a hoe no matter who initiates first.

Also, even if she made the first move, she cant make me submissive. She just cant.

aslfingerspell · 2025-08-29T21:08:40+00:00

No. I've never seen women as desperate for asking men out. Men in general don't place value on how much attention a woman gets, or would see reaching out as a sign she can't attract what she wants.

We don't need that kind of "social proof" to be attracted, and we're not repulsed by a lack of it.

If anything, I'd respect it as a sign of genuine desire.

kongeriket · 2025-08-29T21:28:36+00:00

Short answer: No.

Long answer: You're describing a very adolescent-like thought process. Normal adults don't spend that much time thinking in these terms.

The first time I was asked out I was 15. Then I got used to it, lol. I was even close to getting married to a gal that asked me out.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-08-29T19:32:33+00:00

no... that said conservatives have their traditional gender roles...

BigMadLad · 2025-08-29T20:02:05+00:00

No, but it does flip the power dynamic. Usually it’s men who ask women out and so they’re willing to accept far more flaws in order to hear a yes because they want to avoid rejection. Additionally, usually if they’re asking out, they have thought about this person for quite a while, and therefore, already begun hyping the person up in their mind. If a woman ask a man out he likely has not considered her as an option before and so he’s forced to make a decision on the spot, so he’s more likely to say no, but that’s not because he respects her less. It’s because She wasn’t an initial option in his mind and he hasn’t done the thinking around if he wants the option. It’d be like you are searching for a car and you have a specific model that you’re interested in and are constantly going to dealerships, but being told you cannot buy it, but then a different brand and different model comes to you and offers you to buy the car. Your mind is so set on the first model that it may take more effort to consider the second model, even if you never are able to get the first one.

DGenerationMC · 2025-08-29T23:43:31+00:00

No, it just makes men feel (more) desired.

Or at least that's how I imagined that's how it's supposed to work.

Dziksoon · 2025-08-30T05:49:41+00:00

in current damaged times and unfair treatment towards men in general I would encourage them to do it even more

Big-Sir7034 · 2025-08-29T19:12:07+00:00

I’ve never seen a man give the opinion that “a woman doesn’t have self respect for herself if she asks a man out instead of waiting for him to ask her out”.

IMO if someone said that to me, I’d assume they’re childish in the same way that men who feel entitled to sex and companionship are childish.

I don’t know. Possibly it may be an opinion that some older folk or maybe some women hold, but I’ve never seen anyone in my peer group act like that.

miami2881 · 2025-08-29T19:48:57+00:00

I find it extremely attractive when a girl is super into me. I would love if a girl asked me out but it’s never happened. I guess the positive is that I’ve never had to deal with the guilt of rejecting someone like girls probably feel. Or they get immune to it and don’t care, I don’t know.

SeemedGood · 2025-08-30T05:01:16+00:00

Nope.

It’s when they don’t ask you out or pursue you that you know they’re either gaming (which deserves less respect) or not attracted enough to you to sustain a healthy relationship.

And no, it’s actually the more attractive women that are more comfortable asking men out. Less attractive women are too afraid of rejection (and rejection is kryptonite to women).

gnomeweb · 2025-08-30T16:16:33+00:00

It depends. It doesn't mean that men respect the relationship less. But important to note that it happens primarily with attractive men who have more than one such woman falling for them at any given moment of time, so they may have other preferences.

DenverKim · 2025-08-30T17:33:51+00:00

Honestly, I think that in not all, but most cases, it does subconsciously make a man respect a woman less. And I also think that most of the men who are going to chime in here and say that isn’t true are only saying that because they’ve never actually had a woman ask them out before.

And I’m not talking about a woman reciprocating with a man and asking him if he wants to hang out once they’re already dating… I’m talking about a woman just boldly walking up to a man she doesn’t already know and hitting on him or asking him out.

It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it if you want to, but you need to be aware of the possibility that it may not go well in the long run and be willing to walk away pretty quickly if he doesn’t treat you right.

Psykotyrant · 2025-08-30T06:35:22+00:00

Pointless discussion. Women do not ask men out. One of the biggest hypocrisy of feminism, is that women still want to be pursued because it makes them feel all fuzzy inside or something.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-08-29T20:52:43+00:00

No it doesn’t, but trying or entering a relationship where you are significantly lower desirability percentile will and when women ask men out they only consider doing so with men vastly more desirable so it causes this misconception.

Aimeereddit123 · 2025-08-29T23:29:33+00:00

I used to not think it mattered, but then experience happened, and I would have to say that it really can. I asked my husband out first, and although he’s a good man, he NEVER really tried with me, (dates and stuff), still doesn’t. Takes it for granted. I think men really need to do the initial asking out. I don’t like that it makes a difference, but it seems to on their energy level for the relationship. Maybe they feel more proud of it and invested in it when they had to have the gumption to ask. I’d never make it easy like that again. It’s like they NEED the chase. That said, I definitely don’t think women are WRONG to do it - just be careful.

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IntoTheVoid-3800 · 2025-08-29T23:50:38+00:00

No, but most of the time when the girl initiated the steps such as making the first approach it didn't end well. That's because they had this mentality that men can't say no and they were self entitled about everything coming next and bringing it up on every argument how the whole thing started because of them and it it was up to me, nothing would've happened.

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-08-30T00:01:45+00:00

2025-08-30T00:17:21+00:00

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-08-30T03:38:53+00:00

“guys find confidence in women hot” to “a woman doesn’t tend to have respect for herself if she asks a man out instead of waiting for him to ask her out”

I’m a non-ugly introvert, so girls/women have occasionally been like this towards me my whole life (starting age 10? Idk). It seems just “normal”, I don’t base how I feel towards someone on whether they asked me out. I am also bisexual, so I might be wired different in that department. I tend not to see eye to eye on things with conservative men.

it still seems like only the really desperate and undesirable women ask men out

You’d possibly be surprised to hear they tend to be decent looking (as good looking as any long term relationship I get). I think unattractive women are more afraid of rejection, and they give up asking guys out entirely if it doesn’t work out for them. Women tend to break quickly from rejection. I have never been asked out by a heavy woman in my life.

If they do say yes, from what I’ve noticed in my relationship (I asked my bf out), they spend years stringing the woman who asked them out along and never end up progressing the relationship beyond her being a placeholder girlfriend

What are you expecting? What milestones did you not reach? Are you hoping for marriage, or kids, or something else?

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-08-30T13:00:06+00:00

Tbh a man is more likely to say yes even if he don't see a woman in a commited relationship. But yes there is often low investment at the beginning since the man isn't into the woman. This experience is what men share but at least the woman end up catching feelings and everything start to find a balance

splittingxheadache · 2025-08-30T19:01:12+00:00

No, I would respect a woman for being able to go against the grain and go after what she wants. Also I think I'm pretty cool. It's all good signs to me.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-08-31T13:52:41+00:00

No. How much a man respects a woman has nothing to do with if she asked him out of not. If a woman is with a man who doesn't respect her or the relationship, then he wouldn't respect it even if he were the one who made the first move.

There are tons of women who have been in terrible relationships with terrible men and the men made the first move.

If a woman makes the first move and gets rejected, it's because they guy wasn't interested in her.

In my 40 years on this Earth, I have NEVER heard a man say, "I was really interested in her. But she asked ME out and that killed my interest".

I'm not going to say it's impossible. I'm just saying that I've never heard this from any man ever.

Title	Does a woman asking a man out make him respect her and the relationship less?
Author	PurpleMeerkats462
Upvotes	4
Comments	58
Date	August 29, 2025 8:13 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1n31l6h/does_a_woman_asking_a_man_out_make_him_respect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-a-woman-asking-a-man-out-make-him-respect-her.1560828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560828

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