So, it's finally happened, she said it was over 2 days ago. I knew it was coming as we'd been in seperate rooms for about a month and our relationship has been declining steadily for years. I thought I wanted out, well, I think I still do, but I cant get my head clear because I cant fucking sleep.

For a week or so now, I cant get more than 4 hours of broken sleep. I feel like shit, I cant concentrate, i cant go to the gym, I cant get my head together to think of the practicalities of everything we need to go through - the finance, the kids, the living arrangements etc etc

I dont know why I cant sleep, like I say, I havent been entirely blindsided, and I'm not completely heart broken (I am for the kids and loss of family, but not so much for losing her.) But as the sleeping in seperate rooms and the lack of conversation went on over the last month, I felt myself getting more and more anxious and stressed as the month went on. She had made the decision but didnt want to tell me until after Christmas. I thought that now she's told me, there would be some relief and lifting, but there isnt. I just can't. fucking. sleep. And it's driving me insane.

Anyone releate to this in the early stages? Or I guess I just need to suck it up. I was thinking of going the gym anyway and exhausting myself. Not sure if that's good or bad. Anyway, sorry for this moan. Tough words welcome.

And closing note - I'm thinking, I would usually talk to her about not being able to sleep, but I feel I cant, now. I feel alone. Maybe I'm not admitting how much this is affecting me.