I’m so mad at her

Several-Eagle4141 · 2026-01-10T15:00:41+00:00

Mine is thanking her workplace for giving her the work-life balance to pursue her passion…. Meanwhile other people will manage your kids for you. Don’t mention them.

IronHot1546 · 2026-01-09T18:50:43+00:00

"A part of my brain keeps thinking… praying? that one of us will blink… she’ll call and apologize. I’ll admit my faults. We will put it behind us. She will be in my arm again?

But that’s never going to happen.

I’m so angry with myself for not knowing how to stop this snowball."

God damn I feel this in my soul. I'm not angry at her though. At the moment I'm bewildered. I only get angry at her when I try get her to tell me what happened, or what is happening and she refuses and gets angry at ME for not just... knowing what I did.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-01-09T16:13:23+00:00

I’m so angry with myself for not knowing how to stop this snowball.

There is nothing you could have done because whatever you did, it wouldnt have been good enough or done in the right way. WHat I mean is the goal posts would be moved. SHe was just too lazy to do what she wanted and it was a final 'here YOU do it' she gave you on her way out.

Look at it this way: if you didnt file you would be in the same sitaition but still married/tied fiscally and then something would blow up and you would have had to file 12-18+ months later anyway.

Nervous-Alfalfa8416 · 2026-01-09T13:00:23+00:00

I'm kinda in the same boat. Not divorced but separated for 18 months ago. My main emotion now is anger at her for blowing up our family, and making both of our lives really fucking hard.

No abuse, cheating addiction. Just life pressures, family deaths, work stress etc. I completely ghost her now when she tries to communicate with non kid stuff. I think l if I saw her on the street I'd cross the road.

I hate feeling like this. It's exhausting.

FirelineJake · 2026-01-09T10:29:48+00:00

That hope that one of you will blink is just grief trying to bargain and it doesn’t mean you were wrong to leave or wrong to love. The anger and sadness can coexist, and over time they quiet down enough for you to finally build a future that actually feels like yours.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-01-09T02:48:46+00:00

You don't mention any kids. If that is true then you literally just got a get out of jail free card.
Don't see it yet? Just wait and you will see how much of a favor she actually did you.

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-09T02:14:10+00:00

Man, you filed because she demanded it, walked through a year of this, and now you're still half-waiting for her to call and rewind it all even though you know she won't.

That anger at her for letting it get here, at yourself for not stopping it, and then being exhausted from crying over a future you didn't even feel was yours to begin with that's the hardest kind of grief because you're not even sure what you're mourning.

H3110_T43R3 · 2026-01-09T01:49:08+00:00

Start by being mad at yourself and look inside yourself and figure out how to be better in the future.

If you’re looking in the rear view mirror you can’t see what’s ahead of you. Focus on the future you want as much things are now and try your best to stop thinking about all the what could have beens because they’re not real or possible anymore.

Slowloris81 · 2026-01-09T01:30:52+00:00

I’m so sorry. If she demanded it, it sounds like there was no going back. That’s at the very least emotional manipulation.

I found it helpful to look forward and never backward. That way each day is a step towards something different and hopefully better. The future is your own now.

crager34 · 2026-01-09T03:04:02+00:00

She wanted you to do it, so she could say YOU divorced her. You KNOW thats not how it was.

She wanted it. She got it. Nothing else.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-01-09T01:24:41+00:00

My friend I hear you. I’m in a stand off myself. Mediation is under way. My last words to her in October were I was hoping for a movie fairy tale ending. It’ll never happen for me bc she’ll never admit wrongdoing or apologize. Zero communication except text for urgent kid issues. I hope you get what you want. I wish you peace either way.

Title	I’m so mad at her
Author	Sure_Elk_8297
Upvotes	25
Comments	32
Date	January 9, 2026 1:10 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1q7u7c2/im_so_mad_at_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-so-mad-at-her.1570751 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570751

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