How do I start to see women again?

wparo · 2026-03-10T13:59:05+00:00

Are you divorced? It takes some time, but it does eventually happen. For me 6 months after seperation she moved out. After that 2 weeks before I went to a bar with a friend to meet new people.
YMMV
My exwife had many affairs, so moving on wasn't so hard after she made herself scarce.
She even came back and said "I think I made a mistake." I passed

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-09T00:15:52+00:00

Vows have no meaning when the other party doesn't honor them.

ng_rddt · 2026-03-08T12:25:48+00:00

Make sure to read Dr Shawn Smiths book: Gatekeeper: a tactical guide to commitment. It will help you avoid unhealthy partners

mikemitch0785 · 2026-03-08T00:03:51+00:00

I was on dating app after one week after finding my wife had affair but it was mistake. I didn't want just get laid and I wasn't even remotely ready to be invested in anyone. So it was bad call and stupid as I paid for 3 months on two sites and I barely get on. That said one thing I did enjoy was actually talking to women not to date or sex but just talk common interest, friendship energy and I feel that's a good way to dip a toe in and not be vulnerable, just try and get used to talking to other women who are not your wife, rebuild social skills and for me learn what else is a part of my identity other than being a husband and father and family man.

RealDamage007 · 2026-03-07T19:28:50+00:00

When did you divorce? Give yourself time to heal and recover. I use a year as a good benchmark but that’s different for everyone I suppose. Focus on you. I don’t even care to date. If it happens it happens. I’ll meet women like I always do: randomly. Book stall, coffee shop, etc. Never met any woman on dating sites. Never had to. I just do me. I enjoy my company and even more so now. The peace I have now is unmatched.

If you are lonely when you are alone then you’re going to be lonely with someone else. Look in the mirror.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-03-07T19:14:42+00:00

I face the same question. I have to figure hour how to separate the feeling of love from the thought of my wife and that’s going to take time and work.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-03-07T18:16:31+00:00

Once you let go of your ex wife (that will take a few years post divorce if you loved her) you will start to see other women again. Until you rebuild an awesome life for yourself the good women will not see you back however. This is the most dangerous time for divorced men - still broken you will only attract broken women. You attract what you are, no way around that.

When you do let go and rebuild, then vet carefully and go slow when you start dating again....very slow. The diatribe that modern dating is hard or that good women are in short supply is total BS. If you did the work on yourself you will have a plethora of very good women to choose from and you will be in big demand. Do not settle the second time around.

IcyMycologist4837 · 2026-03-07T16:25:27+00:00

Do you want to live your life on broken vows? Vows require two people and you don’t have that any longer. Do you want to live the rest of your life on some vows that expired? Go ahead live alone in misery on false hopes. Or move on and live your life because every day you waste I guarantee you won’t get back. Your choice. Sry but reality.

SireSweet · 2026-03-07T15:58:59+00:00

Why?

There’s cheaper and easier methods to cause yourself pain.

a_day_at_a_timee · 2026-03-07T14:36:49+00:00

Look at dating like you look at a job. It requires effort, time, patience, and money. You probably need to learn about gender dynamics too. I recommend reading a few books first.

no more Mr. nice guy by robert Glover
The rational male by Rollo Tomassi
Models by Mark Mason.

You may need some therapy too…

Next you need to study from the pick up artists. They have studied the game and know tricks that will help you with approaching women and turning approaches into dates.

I recommend listening to the how to talk to girls podcast. And when you’re ready to get on the apps you need to understand how that system works. it’s a numbers game. Get professional photos taken and try to get the girls off the app within 5 to 10 text messages.

https://youtu.be/KXXY0ydT4L4?si=pVLHsbXxJl98Tz_u

RyanGetty1 · 2026-03-07T14:23:44+00:00

It's easy to start seeing women, the problem is will women see you. To women, most men are invisible.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-03-07T12:29:07+00:00

Mine broke that contract when she caused the dead bedroom then cheated. Women over here in my part of Europe are very attractive, you have your eyes open and biology takes over. Don't get fooled into thinking the next woman is/will be different from the last after the X amount of time together, they're very similar to one another in many ways.

too-far-for-missiles · 2026-03-07T11:46:32+00:00

I've been browsing dating apps just to get a look at what's out there while I'm just sitting around waiting to be served divorce papers.

Goddamn it feels like I'm just picking over all the leftover, mostly spoiled fruit at the discount section in the back of the grocery store. The women who are 35+ on the apps immediately give me "single for a reason" vibes.

I hope this feeling goes away at some point because I'd love to have a good companion and partner again.

Tough_Jackfruit_7161 · 2026-03-07T08:25:56+00:00

I see woman I like but I dont have the confidence or energy to put myself out there. I hope with time that may change but seems unlikely. Im quite a bit older now and feel less resilient than I was.

LaCathedrale · 2026-03-07T08:13:09+00:00

I know objectively that women exist who are a) into <you/me> and b) at least as beautiful, interesting, funny and smart as I found <your/my> (ex) wife to be. The reality is that <I/we> just cannot find that person - anyone met so far falls short in one way or another.

I don't have an answer, just saying that I understand you.

asifmahmud25 · 2026-03-07T07:34:14+00:00

Better if you don't for a while. Find yourself first.

Title	How do I start to see women again?
Author	TheConjugalVisit
Upvotes	17
Comments	42
Date	March 7, 2026 7:07 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rn3cpw/how_do_i_start_to_see_women_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-i-start-to-see-women-again.1574908 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574908

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