be honest with me....is it over?

PrinceofMcdonalds · 2026-03-14T22:05:57+00:00

My best advice for you is to go read Models by Mark Manson. It's the best book on dating for men.

CibrecaNA · 2026-03-15T02:30:36+00:00

It's only over if you want it to be over. The truth is that women are easy. You just need to understand them and interact with them through your understanding.

Right now, you approach women like a loser. "I'm 5'5, a virgin at 30 and I'll never be with an attractive woman" what does a woman gain from being with a loser? Loss.

Come to terms with this reality: there's no human being that can read another's mind. From there realize the art of projecting gain. Make her say, "Despite being 5'5", this man brings pleasure to many women and I'd be honored to sleep with him."

I say this because when I was a 21 year old virgin, the woman I wooed mistook me for a playboy. You need to change your mindset. It's your mindset and how you carry yourself that makes your reality.

No-Environment-5939 · 2026-03-15T03:11:55+00:00

You seem to be waiting for a girl to come and get you… that’s just not how it works.

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2026-03-14T23:36:32+00:00

Like motherfucker just get out there get into a party area and talk to women it's so much easier than you think. I'm 37 I'm in ft lauderdale right now and I just made out with a 23 year old blonde girl on the ft lauderdale strip. Don't be telling me it's over for you, most guys don't even know how to talk to girls until they're at least 30. Get the fuck out there and talk to girls the more you do it the better you'll be. End of story.

jonnnnathhhaann · 2026-03-14T23:30:22+00:00

No bro it’s not over. Stop beating yourself up because you didn’t have the past you wanted. You really went so many years without trying to create attraction or talking to women?

Have you questioned why it’s so hard for you? Have you maximized your potential and put your self out there? You need to take action and with that is going and interacting with women.

You still have so many years ahead of you dude stop feeling sorry for yourself and take the actionable steps to have relationships.

Raudys · 2026-03-14T22:29:23+00:00

Try minoxidil to help grow a beard, could help with your baby face problem.

refreshingface · 2026-03-15T01:13:33+00:00

It’s never over.

If you truly have improved yourself to the max (career, fitness, style, game) and still cannot find a decent woman.

It’s time to be a passportbro. You will find much much more success over there.

OrganicHearing · 2026-03-15T02:31:50+00:00

Nope, I was in a similar boat as you a few years ago and I’ve had my fair share of fun and successes. Yeah, you lost out on the youth, you can’t do anything about it now. Focus on what you can do now. Good news is that you’re still young. What helped with me? Maximize your fucking potential.

Fashion sense should be on point.
Get in shape, get LEAN. That will help both with confidence and attraction.
Work on your charisma. Do this by going to different meetups. There’s lots of cool meetup apps like meetup.com, timeleft, not sure if the Pie Social app is available in your city but check that one out too. Just practice talking, bantering with the people around you. Do it over and over again, you will familiarize yourself with social cues and how to behave around people. For the longest time, I was awkward in social situations but through more exposure to social situations, I got better. I now get called charismatic all the time. In my 31 years of living, I never got called charismatic by people until last year. Because I fucking put in the work. Improv classes helped a bit too to come out of my shell. Confidence is sexy and women pick up on that right away.

Just act NOW to build a better present and future for yourself. Or else you will find yourself mourning missed experiences several years from now. You’re still young, use it to your advantage.

Also, regarding your concern about the age thing, my friend is 36, has a younger face, still gets hit on 20 somethings. So you’re fine. Two consenting adults is perfectly fine.

AAA_battery · 2026-03-15T04:22:53+00:00

I was horrible with women and didn’t put any effort into dating untill my late 20s. What helped me was making a dating app profile and just asking girls out even if I didn’t find them that attractive and I knew it likely wouldn’t go anywhere I just put in reps for practice. I went on probably 5 bad dates before I started to feel comfortable. Also go into every date with no serious expectations tell yourself best case I meet my wife worst case I have a funny story to tell.

GreggJ · 2026-03-15T05:48:20+00:00

Lost my virginity a few days after turning 32.

I'm 39 now. You still have time. Be picky on who you sleep with. Make sure it's a good woman that understands where you're coming from.

jsbach123 · 2026-03-15T13:39:55+00:00

Bro, I didn't have real dates until my late 30s, didn't get a girlfriend early 40s. It's only "too late" when you're dead.

Pedro_Moona · 2026-03-14T22:26:58+00:00

Download and app call Badoo and try to date foreign women

EmperrorNombrero · 2026-03-14T22:56:26+00:00

This is extremely relatable I'm in somewhat of a sinilar situation.

For me it was more that years of my ypurh where knocked out by one bad event after the other so I basically really just didn't have a lot of times when I was actually interacting with women while looking alright and being at least somewhat confident. It sounds so absurd but that’s what it is, I can go into more detail if anyone wants to know.

Now I'm 28, my height is normal but I have blepharitis that give me eyebags, uneven teeth that fuck up my facial symmetry, I'm starting to loose my hair and it just doesn't look good anynore. Also I just have nothing to show for and literally just don't know what to talk about when interacting with others half of the time and the other half I'm literally just not having fun, it all feels so ...off somehow. So... rotten, so shameful, so much like I'm exchangeable. Like I have no real personality and the other person also not and also I don't even really get as horny anynore as I used to.

I just feel like i'm not "him" anymore. I feel like a clown. Nothing feels special anymore.

When I was a teenager or even still in ky early 20s even just getting smiled at by a girl my age felt so magical. That's all gone. I feel like I missed the boat. It's all just so awful now. I just feel put of place. Everywhere. With younger people because I'm not them anymore but also with people my age because I'm kinda just not at that level of development. But also with people my age who are losers because I honestly kinda look down on them even if I'm pne myself and realistically have no reason to

Also just to be clear I'm not literally a virgin but I had sex 2 tines in my entire life. 3-4 if you count BJs.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-03-15T04:05:17+00:00

It’s not over but it’s going to be hard to change. But it’s possible if you want ut bad enough

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2026-03-15T04:31:08+00:00

Not over bro, go hit the gym TOMORROW. Work on yourself that's the only way. You don't need to focus on seduction tricks right now. It's a process, so get visually appealing first, focus your energy on that for now.

Dandys3107 · 2026-03-15T05:06:52+00:00

Many, if not most pickup artists and seduction trainers started as late bloomers as it comes to dealing with interactions with women. But first you need to get out from your depression hole and embrace a quite long journey of learning seduction theory, introduce big changes in your mindset, improve your sexual attractiveness and take social risks to get plenty of experience, obtain necessary skills and process feedback to grow and set your own effective seduction strategy. Rome wasn’t build in a day, chill out, take it step by step and at some point you will find yourself being a completely different guy that you were before your quest started.

Acrobatic-Show3732 · 2026-03-15T09:03:49+00:00

Yes.

A1Horizon · 2026-03-15T09:29:10+00:00

Nah, shit can literally change tomorrow if you go out and put the work in. Only thing I will say is don’t be overly enthusiastic about volunteering information about your lack of experience and you’ll be fine

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-15T12:06:38+00:00

you're only just entering your prime as a man. tf's wrong witchu? 😅

ArkansasDood · 2026-03-15T12:07:24+00:00

Yes. M

inllfwetrust · 2026-03-15T12:29:29+00:00

WTF, the author posts almost the same story every month... feels like clickbait. Even if the story is true, you have to understand that in nature, not all males are meant to reproduce. That’s just the truth...not all genes are supposed to be passed on.

Vox_Dissidens · 2026-03-15T15:52:50+00:00

There are dudes in their 70’s still shooting their shots - I know it feels rough, but you’ve got plenty of time.

KosmicKev__ · 2026-03-15T17:26:53+00:00

It might seem like everyone else has it easy, but what you didn’t see is the brutal learning phase where they had to endure awkwardness, rejection, and yes, disillusionment. The only difference between them and you is that they stayed in the game long enough for statistical variance to do its work. In other words, they kept trying and calibrating over and over again until something finally “clicked”. That’s the case for most men. Of course some were born with unfair advantages, but that’s just the absurdity of life. The truth, friend, is that no amount of romantic attention (or lack thereof) will ever validate/invalidate your existence. You will still wake up, perform your routines, and be just as “real” as anyone else: with or without a beautiful woman in your bed. So is it over? That’s something that only you can really answer. Nothing was promised, so nothing is owed. The real question is can you consistently play the game if winning is never guaranteed?

SecretComments · 2026-03-16T15:56:45+00:00

Many such cases.

The core problem tends to be dissociation from social environments, low motivation leading to low effort, and/or a refusal to do and exhibit things that make you appear to be a Man, to Women.

Yeah being short gives you a small disadvantage but it's not that big an excuse, I know shirt guys who get laid at will and tall guys who get scared at the thought of talking to girls.

Baseline requirements (not advice, not suggestions, REQUIREMENTS):

-Work out more. Get muscles. -Start going out places more, even alone. Bars and clubs maybe, but finding new hobbies or activities works. Anything. More. -Talk to girls like they're a little sister or an old friend. Not quite condescending, but not praising either. Like Xbox Live 2012 chat.

You can get laid by just treating a girl like a brat, teasing her, making it seem like she's not a Big Deal to you.

When girls feel pedestalized or put above you in status, they can't get turned on. They feel pressured, annoyed, even grossed out. That's why a guy with a Good Personality gets "just friends" and a guy who's a total dick gets her asking "what are we??" And praying he doesn't say "just friends" to HER.

That's the crux of it; you grow up thinking girls are special and pretty and need to be protected, and then come at girls you don't know with that energy and they see you as a Child and not as a Man. They have to see you as Strong of Body and Stronger of Will. If she doesn't think you might say No, she will not want to say Yes.

That's just how it works. Can't argue with it, can only adapt to succeed.

I never struggled THAT bad but I remember being scared and treating girls wayyyy too nicely in my 20s and eventually I got a lot better about it and everything improved across the board. Not just sex but friends, professional environments, everything. Be a little cocky or nobody will see you as anything but "sweet innocent little boy" even as you get older and sadder.

Worldly-Jeweler7284 · 2026-03-27T03:39:49+00:00

Yes bro. But it’s ok your acting like you can’t bag a homeless girl like bro some girls are desperate you can get yourself a cougar,homelesss girl,304. Your just not hungry enough your to scared to shoot imo you have nothing to lose atp and just shoot your shot at any girl unless you wann be a pussy and stay a virgin, or the best thing you can do is pay a pornstar to give you a night Onb I’m hooking you bro do it for your birthday it don’t even matter if you catch something it’s calm

MaoAsadaStan · 2026-03-15T01:49:56+00:00

If you have to ask for advice on the internet, then it's over. No words on a screen will make you do the things required to be successful, including the multiple rejections that give feedback of what works and what doesn't work.

activetaway · 2026-03-14T22:36:59+00:00

I agree with the passport method. Philippines or Indonesia. Thailand if you're looking casual (you'll find casual in the other countries too, but there's a lot of wife material in those countries as well.)

Groom yourself and you'll find a partner for certain.

Title	be honest with me....is it over?
Author	lfg141
Upvotes	44
Comments	52
Date	March 14, 2026 9:59 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rtw8kb/be_honest_with_meis_it_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/be-honest-with-meis-it-over.1575517 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575517

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