How come whenever men mention being s*xually assaulted, people always have to bring up that women are "assaulted more often" and try to downplay mens assaults instead of just being supportive?

squidlysquidster · 2026-03-27T00:32:17+00:00

If you are afraid of being called bitter you will never be able to advocate for men.Everytime one advocates for men he’s perceived as misogynistic,bitter and angry. They always say they wish men could unite and everytime men unite and agree on something they are labeled a misogynistic and bitter. It’s like “we want you to Unite but unite in a way that doesn’t make us uncomfortable.”

On a men’s rights post women were suggesting how we as men and women must have a conversation so we can do better and come to a common ground etc. I will tell you why that won’t happen, it won’t happen because if you say let’s talk about it and come up with solutions, it means you have to listen to my concerns and I listen to yours then we see what we can do from there.

However when men try to address their concerns that have to do with women, instead of women listening they rush to say you are bitter , angry , misogynistic, so how can you expect a productive conversation where one party can’t express concern?

Or are women still under the hallucinations that men aren’t suppose to call them out,we must not pretend that we don’t see what women are doing is harming us emotionally?

So until women are ready to listen to men without labeling them as angry nothing will be solved.

63daddy · 2026-03-27T00:19:19+00:00

You are right. One sex being subject to something more doesn’t mean the other sex should be ignored in that area. It’s like saying since men are murdered more, women being murdered doesn’t matter.
If we are going to talk about victimization, men are overall victims of violent crime slightly more than women in the U.S., but men are much, much more likely to be victimized by the worst violent crime: murder. So why focus on female victimization?

I believe gender shouldn’t be an issue. Victims should be helped and perpetrators should be punished regardless of their sex. Justice should be gender blind, but sadly it isn’t. Societies care far more about women’s victimization, are less likely to help male victims and punish male perpetrators more harshly than female perpetrators.

wabe_walker · 2026-03-27T01:50:29+00:00

It's a whataboutism aspect of the radical feminist portion of intersectionality rhetoric. They take broad and generalized statistics about demographics of people based on their innate traits (sex, race, etc.) and they incorrectly and purposefully apply those statistics to each and every individual of that generalized demographic.

So, say that a study shows that there are 37 incidents of sexual assault per 1,000 women compared to 5 per 1,000 men. Using the intersectional grievance hierarchy, this “proves” that, statistically, women as a singular demographic monolith are “more” sexually assaulted than the singular demographic monolith of men.

They then apply that statistics-based conclusion to round each and every individual of those two demographic monoliths to that conclusion: A woman is sexually assaulted more than a man. It's hilariously obtuse, I know.

Because of this framing—where the individuals of a demographic that is perceived to have more power, and therefore, less victimization, are all rounded in identity to a broad and generalized statistic—the nitwit conclusion is to see each individual male as “less sexually assaulted” than each individual female. In doing this, one can always “punch up” when dismissing the lived experience of an individual of that “privileged” demographic (or when outright oppressing an individual of that “privileged” demographic), simply because their nebulous statistical demographic is less-victimized (and therefore, holds more social “power”), and the nebulous statistical demographic labeled as “more sexually assaulted” (and therefore, “more oppressed”)—in this case, women as a singular demographic monolith—are always beneath that demographic in the power hierarchy, and therefore, more victimized.

It makes no sense, but the evangelists and propagandists mask this with lots of rhetorical evasion techniques, in the way that a cheater or bully in a schoolyard game does, by lying and redirection and projection and scapegoating. They have their linguistic labyrinth constructed so that all paths lead to “women have it worse, absolutely, always, forever”, and this trumps any lived experience of any individual whose intersectional identity lifts them higher in the power hierarchy.

Upper-Road-1708 · 2026-03-27T00:09:26+00:00

“Now you know how women feel”

ItsHappenedBefore42 · 2026-03-27T00:18:01+00:00

Because women need to feel they are the oppressed ones. Its how they get cred with other women and justify the problems in their life.

If they acknowledge men are as 'human' as they are, then they would have take responsibility for what is happening in their life instead of blaming men.

Pretend-Storm4566 · 2026-03-27T02:28:15+00:00

Because women see it as a power grab, something they can hold over the head of men.

justanotherhegirl · 2026-03-27T05:03:54+00:00

Apparently I "deserved the broken nose, and other abuses. Lucky she fucked me while I slept. " mem are tough enough to endure this. Any complaints and no more man card

Readshirt · 2026-03-27T05:00:35+00:00

If we accepted that it is not men or women but individual human beings that are both responsible for the evils of the world, and capable of being victim to that evil, then the entire feminist worldview collapses instantaneously. And with it, all that sweet sweet taxpayer funding for a myriad 'causes'. They need the oppressor-oppressed narrative because they rely on it to argue for virtually everything they do, so if demand significantly outstrips supply then the solution has been deemed not to let the market adjust but to manufacture that supply themselves.

For example, in the UK, feminists don't talk about a life expectancy gap, because men live significantly shorter lives. They could choose not to discuss this issue entirely. But they want more. They talk about "years spent in ill health", and say that women spend more years in ill health near the end of their lives and therefore need special money and support.

The only reason women spend more years in ill health is because the men are already dead. Women live so much longer than men that they live more years in good health, and then also more years where their health affects their life quality.

Given that biological components make up only ~10% of the 5-7 year life expectancy gap between men and women (so, half a year), what kind of person do you think it takes to look at life expectancy statistics and manipulate data in this way? These people have absolutely no regard for fairness, no regard for equality. No regard for the truth. They just want more. Always more.

Starman164 · 2026-03-27T19:16:00+00:00

I am so sick and tired of the constant one-upsmanship when it comes to looking at issues from a gendered perspective. I do not give a single flying FUCK who "has it worse". I don't fucking care what sex is doing the bad thing more, or what sex wrote the sexist laws to enable it. It doesn't goddamned matter.

I want to know why it is happening, and I want to know what we can do to change it. That's what matters.

R3alit-y · 2026-03-27T19:27:24+00:00

A man posts about being assaulted. Then women come in the comments talking about “now imagine what it’s like for women”. Or “by another MAN”.

Seen it so many times I don’t even bother.

No_Shock2574 · 2026-03-27T06:31:19+00:00

If males can be legally shipped off enmasse to die in wars, then they certainly aren’t gonna care about injury and harm from assault

CockroachShoddy8470 · 2026-03-28T03:45:56+00:00

Same reason the downplay MGM by accusing you of selfishly taking away attention from FGM.

Mushybasha · 2026-03-27T17:48:30+00:00

Same with circumcision and the omnipresent "FGM is worse". The very idea of male victimhood and male suffering seems to illicit anger and of comedic dismissal among women.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2026-03-27T04:40:53+00:00

id suggest to take a look at the lesubia study about sexual violence and compare it to the cdc sexual violence survey...

i think the issue op is talking about is women count as vulnerable group and men not apparently...

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2026-03-27T16:55:02+00:00

Well said. When women say they want communication what I’ve found is they really just want us to listen to them.

My last ex pushed this narrative and loved to be the center of attention during the discussions but got tired really fast when I talked about my wants and needs.

Crazy-Crazy-3593 · 2026-03-29T02:29:40+00:00

Because many of the people who respond in the way you are describing don't actually care about women being sexually assaulted, they just view "rape" as their ultimate trump card to win any position jockeying to be the ultimate victims.

"Oh yeah, well, women get RAPED and that's the WORST thing that can happen!" ((Therefore, when it comes to being oppressed we WIN.))

They count on most men being chivalrous and handling them with kids gloves, and not challenging them on how they are appropriating suffering in order to argue from emotion.

However, when a man instead points out the cases in which a man has been SA'ed, they will first try to say it was by another man--- which is irrelevant, btw, and tips their hand that they don't care about the victim, but only using the entire topic to justify misandry--- and when the perpetrator turns out to be a woman or girl after all---- they have no idea what to do, other than downplay it, because the one thing they will never do is admit that women are not always victims but sometimes victimizers.

As sad as it is for men who have experienced things like you have, Feminists and feminist adjacent persons don't want to face that there are male SA victims like yourself, not because they think it's awful and wish it hadn't happened ... but because they fear it takes away the primary source of their power: claim to victimhood.

I have seen Feminists defending even Maxwell ("she was just influenced by Epstein" etc) for this reason.

Ok_Confection_3232 · 2026-03-27T16:56:04+00:00

modern society is fucked, i dont know what i will do in 20 years but feminism and all those gender wars, misogyny, misandry exc. really only makes me wanna leave this world and live in isolation. i dont understand why people are like this and why whenever i try to give someone valid argument, or even just talk about it with someone to maybe change their mind from misogyny or misandry, i only get same arguments again and again. and even tho this may sound heartless, i genuinely am not depressed becouse someone got raped 20 years ago, but i am depressed becouse someone can be so fucking dumb and stupid and not understand misandry wont help anyone. i have not saw anything misogenystick on social media in the last 2 years, but oh boy have i seen so much misandry.

slightlyoffline101 · 2026-03-27T23:27:16+00:00

I can’t believe(well I can now tbh) I was taught or lead to believe that SA or any abuse really- was male against female whilst growing up. The past few years I have had a number of male friends tell me about how they were abused when they were younger. It obviously isn’t new. Why has this topic not been covered as much as females ? I just hope the confidence to share their stories grows so everyone can become more aware. Obviously I don’t wish it upon anyone- but that’s TLDR.

Seperate note, I know this sounds ignorant, I’m not against feminism but what’s the equivalent for males ? I’ve gone blank.

RADsupernova · 2026-03-29T20:18:50+00:00

Because it's not about the women, it's about taking sympathy away from the men

LifeguardHot1658 · 2026-04-01T00:17:51+00:00

its almost always other shitty men. or the occasional shitty woman, any time i see a case of sa done by a woman to a man the comments are 90% shitty men proving my point by either saying its not sa, that he isnt a real man or that theyre jealous. feminism isnt the problem and you will be treated with respect if you show youre not like those other men. ur isolating yourself

Additional_Insect_44 · 2026-04-01T07:26:58+00:00

Bc ppl care more about females

McGauth925 · 2026-04-07T18:45:06+00:00

The whole premise of feminism is that women are victims, and men privileged perpetrators. Any counter-narrative is, therefore, unsupportive, unwelcome, and seen as bordering on misogny.

I'm sure there are more details, but I believe this sums it up succinctly.

PracticalSock5373 · 2026-03-28T20:57:32+00:00

It's actually incorrect. Men only appear to be assaulted less because the definition of rape specified being "penetrated" against their will. Women have inward extending going genitals, man have outwardly protruding ones. Inward extending genital can be penetrated, outward extending ones can't. Women are raped by being "forcibly penetrated", men are typically raped by being "forced TO penetrate" so the male-exclusionary DEFINITION disqualifies how men are usually raped from any statistics. ONLY men who are penetrated anally are ever included in rape statistics. So there are very few included and those are mostly by other men.

But when the DEFINITION includes "forced TO penetrate, boy are there a LOT of them! In a typical year 1.270 million women are raped while 2.267 million men victims suddenly appear! And 79.2% of them are raped by women.

These men experience identical psychological damage to women who are raped. Identical. But defining rape as "penetration" the same number of rapes of men every year vanish like a manic trick! And the 80% of their rapists (40% of ALL rapists)? Because they aren't anatomically equipped to "penetrate", they don't qualify and aren't counted!

This is also the definition used by law enforcement all over the country. So women rapists are never charged. In the average year around 188,800 men are charged with rape, while in most years not a single one of the 40% of rapists who are women will be charged.

The CDC statistics back this up. They won't be included in any rape statistics, but will be filed away inder "forced TO penetrate" which isn't even illegal in many areas. 40% of rape culture takes with impunity without a second thought about being punished. If it went even a crime, they can do it to men again and again and nothing happens to them. They "officially" don't exist.

This information first came out in 2012 and was later included in the paper by Lara Stemple on 2014. Again in 2017. This data was found to be so 8ndespytable the FBI now included "forced TO penetrate in the definition for their own investigations. D.A.s may not prosecute, but the FBI does it's duty to investigate anyway.

Men report being raped at the rate of 1.267 million for every 1.270 million women. And men are even less likely to report it so the occurrence is a least equal.

They've been snowed like everybody but the far less than 1% who are aware of this by the gender biased male exclusionary DEFINITION that also allows 40% of rapists to never worry about any repercussions from their serial predatory acts.

This simple DEFINITION being applied hides that fact that just as many men are raped every year, they make up HALF of all rape victims, and that 40% or rapists are women.

It also gives female rapists a free pass to rape consequence free with total abandon while men who do the same thing are prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

They have been snowed by the lie promulgated through this inexcusably sexist, anti-male, gender biased, male-exclusionary DEFINITION being applied.

All that shows up because I'm of this exclusionary DEFINITION are the minority of make rapes in which men were "penetrated" (by men). Women rapists are never counted since they're anatomically not equipped to penetrate unless they use foreign object to penetrate a man anally, and since they know that is the only thing that would make it an arrestable crime, of course they typically don't.

Now you know the that they are full of sh_t when they downplay male rape as such a rare thing. THEY may not know the truth, but YOU now know it.

A simple DEFINITION is the only thing that hides .millions of male victims, and protects the female perpetrators who make up 40% of ALL rapists and 80% of the perpetrators who sexually assault men.

beigewoodtable · 2026-03-27T20:57:20+00:00

I’m a feminist, and sexual assault against men is not okay and will never be okay. I’m sorry that happened to you and also sorry about people’s responses to you.

Hopefully people in this sub will vote against our current administration and the disgusting indifference and cover up of sexual abuse. If we can’t even protect our kids, we’re sure as hell not protecting our women or men.

AffectionateDog5934 · 2026-03-27T10:17:22+00:00

I guess it’s because of the number of women assaulted against men? But I dunno, it’s invalidating for sure. Everyone has their experiences and trauma so basically saying ‘but i am sadder then you’ will never go down well.

sicksickel · 2026-03-27T13:51:13+00:00

I really am sorry you had to go through it that way , no body has the right to downplay what you went through, and it's wrong to make excuses for the assaulter , I hope you will be able to reach out to people that won't downplay what you went through

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