Entitlement

conceptcreature3D · 2026-04-29T05:47:41+00:00

You know, I thought I could be friendly (not friends!) eventually with my ex, but I’m reminded monthly how much of a cunt she is & how there’s a reason I’m no longer with her. So we communicate via text when we need to, & we’re pleasant in front of the daughter, but otherwise I don’t communicate with her at all

ObjectiveSalt1635 · 2026-04-28T20:13:04+00:00

You tell your children when they’re older. Until then you talk about how much you know they love their mommy

darmitage55 · 2026-04-28T16:35:25+00:00

That quote alone would make anyone's blood boil. "There's no discussion." She told you exactly who she was.

Your kids will figure it out. Not because you explain it, but because they'll live it. Kids are watchers. They see who shows up, who manipulates, who stays consistent. You just have to be the one who does.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-04-28T16:33:20+00:00

All she's ever done is use me.

I don't know if this will help (and hear me out) but you're not special here. She likely uses EVERYONE. I had that realization with my ex. It was freeing actually because I stopped feeling like she was doing it JUST to me... she was a user. A taker. And being a giver I should have known my limits because takers dont have any.

How can my children ever understand that I can't talk to her under these conditions, and that it's not my fault?

So kids are WAY smarter than people give them credit for and pick up on A LOT more than we realize. You really don't have to do anything other than be the best dad you can be. Kids will see through your ex's 'I just don't understand!' BS and they WILL do the math and figure it out on their own. The real trick is to NOT try and fast track it or tip the scales because then when they do they will question if they solved the riddle or if you pushed them in that direction. Let them come to their own conclusions naturally.

You're playing the long game here. It will take time and waiting stinks, but think of it as a long term investment for the future when they are out of the house and living their own lives. Guess who will get the calls and visits? Probably not your ex because 100% she will pull the same crap with your kids as they get older and she wants to get more out of them (be it emotional support, physical labor, fiscal assistance, etc). DAD will be the one who supported them and told them how proud he was. Mom will bleed them dry and only point out how they are a disappointment.

Magma86 · 2026-04-28T15:11:42+00:00

Sounds like you still need to work through some things.

I’ve been there, but honestly, you’re still harboring anger/resentment that doesn’t help you or your kids. The easiest way to look at things that helped me was to establish boundaries or limits without emotion. This allows you to go from “emotional” thinking to “logical” thinking. You don’t have to do anything other than say “NO”. The only way to heal and move forward is to let all the anger and hurt go.

acg34 · 2026-04-28T13:05:28+00:00

My ex bad mouths me to everyone she can (our adult children, my mother, my son’s MIL, our friends, etc.) and then wonders why I refuse to be her friend.

Il_Valentino · 2026-04-28T12:44:19+00:00

Maybe you still have some chat history saved up with her, then you can show that to your kids.

Key_Rock4862 · 2026-04-28T12:35:56+00:00

Yeah, I get this with my ex. She broke my heart and treated me like she hated me for 5 years. Now she wants to be friends and have a good co-parent relationship. While I try and ignore her new boyfriend.

I just think women can be more transactional in relationships. You’ve got to make sure you getting what you want everyday, and not make the mistake of expecting long term payback

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-04-28T11:44:44+00:00

Nearly 2 years separated, and my ex thought we could be friends, talk about movies, chit chat blah blah blah. Ehh you've destroyed our daughters family and wrecked my life. I never want to set eyes on you again. You are utterly dead to me now.

dystinct · 2026-04-28T11:01:02+00:00

Friendships offer value. Do you see anything of value in a friendship with her?

Significant_Koala_61 · 2026-04-28T10:39:48+00:00

Sorry to hear bro, I guess for your kids sake, fake that you don’t hate that bitch, while they’re around

curiouszm · 2026-04-28T08:43:11+00:00

After what she said, I can only say never buy in on this friendship bullshit. She told you those words knowing there was a huge chance of her stripping everything off you as most women do. I don't know the kids' age, but when they're at an age able to understand a bit about life you can tell them in a mature way without making them hate their mother.

Title	Entitlement
Author	no-more-nazis
Upvotes	31
Comments	27
Date	April 28, 2026 8:35 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sxvhs7/entitlement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/entitlement.1579073 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579073

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