Holy shit glad that is over! I worked she did not, I filed for divorce. I accepted I would have to pay (and pay a lot) but since we have no kids this was the only entanglement, and that's over and I am 100% free.

I make room for the possibility she might try to contact me first of June asking where her money is; already have the response email with the table of payments of standby lol.

Not sure what to feel except relief. We sold the house (again I paid for) at the divorce and I put that money aside (paid off all debts, bought some toys, traveled). At the time planned to pay her off early, but every time I had the money I just couldn't write the check. Just anxiety inducing and upsetting. Ultimately put the money in a money market account and set up an auto payment each month. Which was good because the car died so I took extra out of that account to buy a new to me (used) vehicle.

I basically used the money market like a self loan bank account, withdrawing money for emergencies and working extra to refill it.

I had to work a ton of extra shifts in the beginning, but now things are pretty stabilized. Oddly enough even though I was paying through the nose, I actually have more discretionary income now than when married. I am investing / saving more, and enjoying life more.

She got a ton of cash up front, but lost access to me. I can (and will) always make more money, but I cannot create more time.

Wanted to again say thank you to this group for the love, support, and education over this process. Together 17 years, married 12 years, separated Oct 2021, divorced Nov 2022. 3.5 years of spousal support @ $7500/mo.

Now the only person I work for is myself (and the government, cause taxes...)