When did this outrage towards nice guys start? What the hell?

seriesoftubesguy · 2013-01-25T18:21:22+00:00

www.reddit.com/r/antisrs/comments/12meg8/srs_member_ignores_personal_growth_and_journey_of/c6wgkjb

Because a lot of feminists, especially "radicals," are traditionalist macho bullies in drag. The stereotypical "nice guy" is unmasculine- socially awkward, unnassertive, lacking in confidence, bad at the traditional male role of initiator. Old-fashioned bullies of both sexes despise men like that, and they despise them even more if they’re so unmanly as to actually express unhappiness or distress about their resulting lot in life. The feminist discourse about “nice guys” provides a new excuse for the same thing, based on fantasies of what people who despise such men imagine they MUST really be like, and dresses it up in left-wing jargon for people who would be uncomfortable with words like “pussy” or “faggot.”

torrentfox · 2013-01-25T19:41:40+00:00

Nice Guy (capitalization usually intentional) is a feminist trope that singles out guys who self-describe as "nice guys" but throw up either a red flag or reveal their true nature as a bridge burner when turned down.

It's a dead horse at this point, and I can't see why it's even a thing for feminists, because plenty of women will do the exact same thing when rejected.

Side note, I gave a girl exhibiting nice-gal-syndrome some advice. She came on very hard. I didn't find her attractive. I could tell that without walking on eggshells, she was inches away from a meltdown, because her ego was fragile and not well-founded. So when I told her I wasn't interested, she kind of lost it, but I didn't return the nastiness because it's an easily recognizable positive feedback loop. I asked her point blank, "you have a history of people leaving you, don't you?" She did. I gave her a pep talk, we parted ways amicably.

To fems who keep pushing this trope: People have issues. They don't necessarily have anything to do with sexism. Dealwithit.gif.

PartTimeBadman · 2013-01-25T18:00:52+00:00

They're an easy target and practically noone stands up for them. Those that do get told "nice guy detected" and are then shamed into silence.

rottingchrist · 2013-01-25T17:38:41+00:00

Nothing is more contemptible to a woman than an unassertive man.

Which is what a nice guy typically is.

George_yolo_bush · 2013-01-25T20:03:21+00:00

I have no idea. It's hard enough having little self confidence and poor social skills in a society that tells you that you are worthless if you can't get female attention, kicking them while they're down doesn't accomplish anything.

SCCROW · 2013-01-25T18:02:31+00:00

It started with a propaganda film from a women's studies course at Ding-Dong university.

I managed to salvage the original film reels, and post it on YouTube

SuperNixon · 2013-01-25T19:28:23+00:00

See, i feel like the biggest problem with this is not that it pisses the nice guys off when women reject them, but that they have heard the complaining from women about how they can never find a respectful mate. It is a physiological thing for women to go after the "bad boy" but the guy who is more apt to break rules and go his own way is also the same guy who will probably do that in a relationship. Therefore, they get burned and complain how they can never find a "nice guy." Hollywood continually perpetuates this stereotype by constantly showing the bad boy with a heart of gold who just wants to find that one girl and blah blah blah. In reality, it generally doesn't work both ways.

VoodooIdol · 2013-01-25T19:03:55+00:00

Actually, there's a very old term for this type of guy - milquetoast.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milquetoast

NateExMachina · 2013-01-25T19:31:06+00:00

I agreed with most of it, until it tried to draw a parallel between people who call themselves nice and murderers...

She went Schordinger's Rapist with it. I'm sure you're not an axe murderer... but you never know!

It doesn't describe the other side of it though, which is why these guys have so much pent-up emotion. It just demonizes them without even trying to understand. How can you change the world if you don't give a shit about the people you're trying to change?

My-Work-Reddit · 2013-01-25T18:10:32+00:00

Women want the "bad boy" until the point when they realize the bad boy isn't all he is cracked up to be. They they "graciously" give the nice guy a chance.

2013-01-25T17:50:11+00:00

2009 I guess?

im_not_bovvered · 2013-01-25T21:38:35+00:00

News to me - woman here and I married a "nice guy." Guess I missed that boat! Whoops!

2013-01-26T09:41:17+00:00

Has this outrage taught me anything? I don't know. Except that I thought I was a decent human being, but actually I'm not. So I'm not a nice, decent guy. I'm an abomination for thinking and feeling the way I do. Fine, all right, I guess I'll have to accept that. But I'm still frustrated, depressed, bitter and jaded due to my bad experiences, and my inability to deal with them properly.

To be exact: I do not write psychotically misogynistic and sexist anonymous rants in the net. I'm only world-weary, tired and frustrated with my difficulty trying to first have enough energy to do my job, then find an even larger amount of energy to actually get a response from a woman on a net.dating site - because that's pretty much the only thing I have energy for. I'm introverted. I don't go to bars and rock concerts, because I don't enjoy it.

I have expressed my frustration in forums and discussions that handle these gender dynamics and culture issues. Sometimes I have expressed a "wrong opinion" (leaning towards MRA) which has targeted me to a hostile verbal beating.

And this frustration makes me a potential axe murderer? A manipulative "nice things in, sex out" guy? Please. That's not a very nice label to receive.

Dismissing and ridiculing my issues because of my gender or my presumed "nice guyness" is not going to make me any less bitter and frustrated.

But here's a video (it's the old but good SNL skit, "Sexual Harassment And You"): http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/972440/

That's one view. Nice Guys = guys unable to make the initiative without being awkward, due to an overgrown fear of failure; which is in turn the result of this hostile minefield of social conventions that has come to be, and which Nice Guys (among others) need to navigate on a daily basis.

musexistential · 2013-01-25T22:28:03+00:00

This article reminds me of the saying: "Not all guys with mustaches are child molesters but all child molesters have mustaches."

All nice guys aren't murderer cannibals, but all murderer cannibals are nice guys.

Not very scientific. It's some type of logical fallacy, but I don't care to recall which anymore.

catsnstuff97 · 2013-01-26T14:36:16+00:00

Im sorry, but i dont really see what this has to do with equal rights....this article just expresses their opinion that they like other gus over nice guys. Its not realy new either...

superstubb · 2013-01-25T18:08:24+00:00

Please tell me this was taken from the Onion.

barbadosslim · 2013-01-25T20:45:25+00:00

There's actually a very good answer for that. It's not that nice guys are bad, but that sexually frustrated men who blame their lack of a girlfriend on their niceness are bad. These men often call themselves "nice guys". It boils down to this: treating female friends as vending machines who accept kindness coins and dispense sex is misogynistic.

2013-01-25T21:14:06+00:00

Men are bad, women are good. Same old feminist bullshit.

It isn't gender specific to complain about the opposite sex after rejection, women will say they hate men, and men will say they hate women - emotions are like that, but a double standard forms when men do it.

Marc Lepine is a MRA, and Philip Markoff is a "nice guy." Conflation extreme.

These nice guys are fake, I guess just like every customer service person and politician I've ever met, a lot of them women. People try to put their best foot forward to achieve an ends, whether it is to get a tip or get a girlfriend.

Where is the obligatory "Nice guys believe they're entitled to a woman's body! They want to manipulate women for sex!" statement?

rbcrusaders · 2013-01-26T02:18:30+00:00

This is the theme with a lot of feminists-collectivism like you see in socialism. People arent individuals, they are part of a group. All women are the same, all men are either rapists, 'nice guys' or enlightened feminists.

tardisgirlkatie · 2013-01-26T17:27:22+00:00

Nice Guys are great until they start acting like entitled assbutts. If you like a girl and you're nice to her, great. Women get pissed off when you complain because 9/10 of you end up saying "waa waa I was nice to her but she doesn't want to sleep with me what a bitch". NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO SLEEP WITH YOU. Being nice is really great. Only being nice because you want sex is not great. Claiming to be nice and then being super unpleasant isn't great either. If you are nice to a girl but she doesn't want a relationship with you, continue to be nice because you are a nice person. She won't change her mind, but you will be one of the good nice guys.

Hateblade · 2013-01-26T10:01:04+00:00

I think it's the opposite. It's not that 'nice' guys always turn out to be murderers, but rather that society doesn't reward people for being genuinely nice individuals. In reality, all you have to be is nice enough. Being genuinely nice comes across as creepy and weird because no one is used to it anymore and causes people to go into paranoia mode.

After all that, is it any wonder that some 'nice guys' end up psychologically damaged and socially awkward?

JoopJoopSound · 2013-01-26T16:38:45+00:00

A nice guy is what happens when a man is raised by a single mother who was raised by generations of feminists. The gist of it is that nice guys, actually have a disorder. Many men find this offensive, but that's too fuckin' bad. Here is an excerpt from a book by a mental health professional who specializes in this stuff, namely Glover:

"Who Are These Men?

Though all of these men are unique, each shares a common life script: They all believe that if they are "good" and do everything "right," they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life. This attempt to be good typically involves trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves (their mistakes, needs, emotions) and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.). I call these men Nice Guys.

Up to now we haven't paid much attention to the Nice Guy, but he is everywhere.

He is the relative who lets his wife run the show.

He is the buddy who will do anything for anybody, but whose own life seems to be in shambles.

He is the guy who frustrates his wife or girlfriend because he is so afraid of conflict that nothing ever gets resolved.

He is the boss who tells one person what they want to hear, then reverses himself to please someone else.

He is the man who lets people walk all over him because he doesn't want to rock the boat.

He is the dependable guy at church or the club who will never say "no," but would never tell anyone if they were imposing on him.

He is the man whose life seems so under control, until BOOM, one day he does something to destroy it all.

Characteristics of Nice Guys

Every Nice Guy is unique, but all have a cluster of similar characteristics. These traits are the result of a script, often formed in childhood, that guides their lives. While other men may have one or two of these traits, Nice Guys seem to possess a significant number.

Nice Guys are givers. Nice Guys frequently state that it makes them feel good to give to others. These men believe their generosity is a sign of how good they are and will make other people love and appreciate them. Nice Guys fix and caretake. If a person has a problem, has a need, is angry, depressed or sad, Nice Guys will frequently attempt to solve or fix the situation (usually without being asked).

Nice Guys seek approval from others. A universal trait of the Nice Guy Syndrome is the seeking of validation from others. Everything a Nice Guy does or says is at some level calculated to gain someone's approval or avoid disapproval. This is especially true in their relationships with women.

Nice Guys avoid conflict. Nice Guys seek to keep their world smooth. To do this, they avoid doing things that might rock the boat or upset anyone.

Nice Guys believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes. These men are afraid that others will get mad at them, shame them, or leave them if some mistake or shortcoming is exposed.

Nice Guys seek the "right" way to do things. Nice Guys believe there is a key to having a happy, problem-free life. They are convinced that if they can only figure out the right way to do everything, nothing should ever go wrong.

Nice Guys repress their feelings. Nice Guys tend to analyze rather than feel. They may see feelings as a waste of time and energy. They frequently try to keep their feelings on an even keel.

Nice Guys often try to be different from their fathers. Many Nice Guys report having unavailable, absent, passive, angry, philandering, or alcoholic fathers. It is not unusual for these men to make a decision at some point in their lives to try to be 180 degrees different from Dad.

Nice Guys are often more comfortable relating to women than to men. Due to their childhood conditioning, many

Nice Guys have few male friends. Nice Guys frequently seek the approval of women and convince themselves they are different from other men. They like to believe that they are not selfish, angry, or abusive — traits they link to "other" men.

Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority. These men often feel that it is selfish to put their needs first. They believe it is a virtue to put others' needs ahead of their own.

Nice Guys often make their partner their emotional center. Many Nice Guys report that they are only happy if their partner is happy. Therefore they will often focus tremendous energy on their intimate relationships.

What's Wrong With Being A Nice Guy?

We might be tempted to minimize the problem of the Nice Guy Syndrome. After all, how can being nice be such a bad thing? We might even chuckle at the Marvin Milquetoast behaviors of these men as portrayed in comic strips and television sitcoms. Since men already represent an easy target in our culture, the caricature of a sensitive guy might be an object of amusement rather than concern.

Nice Guys themselves frequently have a difficult time grasping the depth and seriousness of their beliefs and behaviors. When I begin working with these passively pleasing men, almost without exception, they all ask, "What is wrong with being a Nice Guy?" Having picked up this book and puzzled over the title, you may be wondering the same thing.

By giving these men the label Nice Guy, I'm not so much referring to their actual behavior, but to their core belief system about themselves and the world around them. These men have been conditioned to believe that if they are "nice," they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a smooth life.

-The term Nice Guy is actually a misnomer because Nice Guys are often anything but nice. Here are some Not-So-Nice Traits of Nice Guys:-

Nice Guys are dishonest. These men hide their mistakes, avoid conflict, say what they think people want to hear, and repress their feelings. These traits make Nice Guys fundamentally dishonest.

Nice Guys are secretive. Because they are so driven to seek approval, Nice Guys will hide anything that they believe might upset anyone. The Nice Guy motto is, "If at first you don't succeed, hide the evidence."

Nice Guys are compartmentalized. Nice Guys are adept at harmonizing contradictory pieces of information about themselves by separating them into individual compartments in their minds. Therefore, a married man can create his own definition of fidelity which allows him to deny that he had an affair with his secretary (or intern) because he never put his penis in her vagina.

Nice Guys are manipulative. Nice Guys tend to have a hard time making their needs a priority and have difficulty asking for what they want in clear and direct ways. This creates a sense of powerlessness. Therefore, they frequently resort to manipulation when trying to get their needs met.

Nice Guys are controlling. A major priority for Nice Guys is keeping their world smooth. This creates a constant need to try to control the people and things around them.

Nice Guys give to get . Though Nice Guys tend to be generous givers, their giving often has unconscious and unspoken strings attached. They want to be appreciated, they want some kind of reciprocation, they want someone to stop being angry at them, etc. Nice Guys often report feeling frustrated or resentful as a result of giving so much while seemingly getting so little in return.

Nice Guys are passive-aggressive. Nice Guys tend to express their frustration and resentment in indirect, roundabout, and not so nice ways. This includes being unavailable, forgetting, being late, not following through, not being able to get an erection, climaxing too quickly, and repeating the same annoying behaviors even when they have promised to never do them again.

Nice Guys are full of rage. Though Nice Guys frequently deny ever getting angry, a lifetime of frustration and resentment creates a pressure cooker of repressed rage deep inside these men. This rage tends to erupt at some of the most unexpected and seemingly inappropriate times.

Nice Guys are addictive. Addictive behavior serves the purpose of relieving stress, altering moods, or medicating pain. Since Nice Guys tend to keep so much bottled up inside, it has to come out somewhere. One of the most common addictive behaviors for Nice Guys is sexual compulsiveness.

Nice Guys have difficulty setting boundaries. Many Nice Guys have a hard time saying "no," "stop," or "I'm going to." They often feel like helpless victims and see the other person as the cause of the problems they are experiencing.

Nice Guys are frequently isolated. Though Nice Guys desire to be liked and loved, their behaviors actually make it difficult for people to get very close to them.

Nice Guys are often attracted to people and situations that need fixing. This behavior is often the result of the

Nice Guy's childhood conditioning, his need to look good, or his quest for approval. Unfortunately, this tendency pretty much guarantees that Nice Guys will spend most of their time putting out fires and managing crises.

Nice Guys frequently have problems in intimate relationships. Though Nice Guys often put tremendous emphasis on this part of their lives, their intimate relationships are frequently a source of struggle and frustration. For example:

Nice Guys are often terrible listeners because they are too busy trying to figure out how to defend themselves or fix the other person's problem.

Because of their fear of conflict, they are frequently dishonest and are rarely available to work all the way through a problem.

It is not unusual for Nice Guys to form relationships with partners whom they believe to be "projects" or "diamonds in the rough." When these projects don't polish up as expected, Nice Guys tend to blame their partner for standing in the way of their happiness.

Nice Guys have issues with sexuality. Though most Nice Guys deny having problems with sex, I have yet to meet one who isn't either dissatisfied with his sex life, has a sexual dysfunction (can't get or maintain an erection, climaxes too quickly), or has sexually acted out (through affairs, prostitution, pornography, compulsive masturbation, etc.).

Nice Guys are usually only relatively successful. The majority of Nice Guys I've met have been talented, intelligent, and moderately successful. Almost without exception though, they fail to live up to their full potential.

galt88 · 2013-01-26T03:58:22+00:00

What an angry, confused bitch.

Grapeban · 2013-01-25T18:59:44+00:00

No, the problem is not with nice guys, it's with "Nice Guys". Y'know, that guy who thinks that by simply becoming best friends with a girl he deserves to get into her pants, the one who complains about being friendzoned, the one who expects sex to just magically happen without him ever mentioning it.

empathica1 · 2013-01-25T21:31:50+00:00

Nice guy is a technical term. He is not a guy who is nice, he is a mysogynist prick who blames all women for his romantic failures, without even considering that he could possibly be at fault.

he gets the title "nice guy" by complaining that he is just too nice for women to like him.

SuperUppercut · 2013-01-25T20:36:42+00:00

It started as a reaction to game theory with more guys acting like jerks to get pussy and more "nice guys" complaining that they don't want to learn game because they have such nice personalities!

Personally I think the feminists are retarded and the "nice guys" complaining are fucking loser betas. Grow some balls and stop complaining that women don't want to fuck you for being nice. That's like when chicks act like dudes and get all into sports and acting macho and then act surprised when dudes don't wanna fuck em. Jesus Christ fuckin amateurs.

camshell · 2013-01-25T18:33:53+00:00

This article is aimed at guys who identify themselves as "nice guys," saying that they have a "condescending attitude towards women and myopic view of the world." The comments in this thread prove her right on that point, at least.

SuperUppercut · 2013-01-25T20:38:52+00:00

For the love of god you guys have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to women, "bad boys" and "nice guys."

Sex is a game. Don't cry like a fucking bitch when you lose just learn the game and get better at it.

Title	When did this outrage towards nice guys start? What the hell?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	55
Comments	148
Date	January 25, 2013 5:17 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/179i70/when-did-this-outrage-towards-nice-guys-start-what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/when-did-this-outrage-towards-nice-guys-start-what.1604869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1604869

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