Huff Post commits slippery slope, implies that complaining about wives leads to raping wives.

Revoran · 2014-07-24T16:51:14+00:00

This article was written by Elizabeth Plank. She previously wrote an article claiming that men's rights activists influenced the Isla Vista / UCSB shooter, and one claiming that Robin Thicke supports men raping women. I think it's safe to say she's a complete and utter nutjob.

Sir_Fancy_Pants · 2014-07-24T16:52:37+00:00

"Women dont owe you shit " ignoring the double negative, no shit sherlock.

Of course women don't owe you anything but by the same extension men dont, owe women anything, if you pay all the rent and the bills and you decided you get bored with your girlfriend you can throw her out that very same day.

Sorry ladies "men don't owe you shit" they don't have to subsidies our living expenses they don't have to be a shoulder to cry on they don't even have to talk to you, if you want to go down the road of "i don't have to please anyone i just do what i want" well its a two way street, no one owes you their time or love or support or finances.

If you withhold sex which you are perfectly entitled to do, your partner is equally entitled to withhold financial and emotional support too.

No one owes anyone anything, both are free to trade or give however they wish, but if one partner feels hard done by they are free to cease trading and trade with someone else who has a better deal.

BlindPelican · 2014-07-24T17:46:38+00:00

So, tracking the process of a marginally functional relationship that lacks communication between two people with incompatible sex drives is...rape culture?

Physical intimacy is a reasonable expectation in a romantic relationship. Being disappointed is not a function of being "entitled".

Perhaps the tables can be turned here. How many times have you heard a girlfriend or wife complain about lack of emotional intimacy? Are our partners "entitled" to our deepest and most intimate thoughts and emotions?

It seems to me that framing the whole idea of intimacy, regardless of the form it takes, as a matter of "entitlement" is a sure fire way to create dysfunctional relationships.

ChrisRich81 · 2014-07-24T16:24:42+00:00

Here's a radical idea: we blame rape on people that ACTUALLY rape women.

ezetemp · 2014-07-24T20:13:10+00:00

"women don't owe you shit"

then why marry men? why live with them? why hang out with them, or even talk to them, if you don't feel like you "owe" them anything? of course anyone can do whatever they want, but at some point you're not even pretending to have a functional relationship with another person if you don't interact with them in a meaningful way.

It's like having a friend who says, well I don't owe you my time if and when you want to do something, and I don't owe you my ear if and when you need someone to talk to. Then Jesus Christ, are we friends?

questionnmark · 2014-07-24T17:13:19+00:00

If we reversed the genders then would this article be about how she should divorce him?

Bla34112 · 2014-07-24T20:03:20+00:00

You know.. if you are married to someone, you owe him to try and make it work, and work for him, too. If you were just dating he could just walk away. But if you are married he can't. He tied himself financially to you, you owe him. Not just sex, but an honest interest in his emotional well being and yes, his sexual fulfillment. He owes you, too, btw.

Now that said... Creating a spreadsheet and using it as an accusatory tool probably isn't the best way to solve your marital problems.

Methodius_ · 2014-07-24T21:11:12+00:00

In another thread about this, I mentioned something funny. Figured it might be worth mentioning here too:

And in the ultimate irony, my tumblr feminist girlfriend just came into my room to complain about this story. Starting off with "Some asshole on reddit made a spreadsheet..." proving that she probably didn't bother actually reading up on the topic.

But the ironic part? She sat there and said that acting the way he did was childish, and because they're adults they should've talked about it, and even though you're married you're not entitled to sex. There was a part in my life where I was working 45+ hours a week and going to college full time, sleeping maybe 5 hours a day, usually a lot less. This continued for at least four months. And because of that, our sex life declined. Did she calmly talk to me about it like an adult? Fuck no, she threw a goddamned fit about it and made me feel like shit for being tired all the time. She acted like she was entitled to have sex with me, even though she wasn't willing to put any effort in on her part, and she most certainly wasn't keeping the shit I was going through at the time in mind. (Edit: It actually turned me off of the idea of sex with her at all for a while.)

So when a woman does it, it's 100% okay. When a man does it? He's acting like a child and shouldn't feel entitled to sex.

But yeah, I'm sorry. This is a load of bullshit. Half of those excuses were the equivalent of "I have a headache". This woman was literally finding just about ANY reason she could to not sleep with her husband but maybe once every few weeks. And I guarantee this isn't the first time this topic was brought up.

And I'm sorry, this isn't anything to do with entitlement. It has to do with something that is supposed to be a regular part of a normal relationship and her going out of her way to avoid it. If sex with her husband is somehow that undesirable, maybe they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

DiscoPandaKungFu · 2014-07-24T21:40:12+00:00

The author is missing the issue the boy friends/husbands are having. They don't feel entitled to sex, they feel unwanted, u desired and unloved by their partners. 2 very, very different things. If I had a 90% rejection rate due to lazy excuses, I'd definitely question my partners reasoning for being with me.

Men and women express feelings differently and it's important they communicate and try to meet in the middle for a healthy relationship.

2014-07-24T22:09:25+00:00

Funny how withholding sex is considered abuse when a man does it, but when a woman does it the man is still somehow the abuser. Maybe domestic abuse against women seems so common because we've defined everything to be abuse, but only when it negatively effects her.

Fhwqhgads · 2014-07-24T16:54:35+00:00

Yet another reason not to read huffpo.

gossypium_hirsutum · 2014-07-24T22:31:38+00:00

First, women can owe people shit. Like, legally. Whether it's repayment of a loan or restitution for wrongdoing, it happens all the time.

Second, why is nobody mentioning elephant in the room? Men cannot refuse sex with a woman. Like, legally. Forced envelopment is not only not a crime it's considered impossible. Why? Because apparently any man is stronger than any woman, erection is consent, and brains never trumps brawn.

Third, why is nobody talking about three other elephant in the room? The author said men want sex all the time. So, by inference, of you don't want sex all the time then something is wrong with you.

And all of that is separate from massive logical fallacy the entire article is premised upon. I honestly don't understand how someone this stupid has a job. It's such an anti-science/equality position taken with no regard for logic.

clockworkgirl21 · 2014-07-24T21:25:19+00:00

Except that when you're married, I would argue you do owe your partner some sex. Not in the way that it's acceptable to forcefully rape someone if they decide to withhold it (and anyone who does should go to jail), but the partner who isn't getting sex is completely within their rights to end the relationship if this goes on too long.

What's more, it isn't abuse for the unhappy partner to say, "You're always denying me sex and it makes me unhappy, can we talk about this?" Although sending an excel sheet it pretty childish.

brzcory · 2014-07-24T17:12:17+00:00

Ok... stupid question. Aside from being silly and distasteful, how is a sex spreadsheet sex entitlement?

thegriefer · 2014-07-24T22:01:02+00:00

This article is basically saying, "men can't make man jokes because misogyny." Have a fucking sense of humor you intolerant fucks.

CyberToyger · 2014-07-25T01:29:45+00:00

A commenter here summarized the root of the issue in one simple sentence: "Sex should never be an expectation for anyone in a relationship".

It is precisely because of that flawed line of thinking that so many problems arise. Friendships are for emotional support and doing fun shit together, relationships are for sex and intimacy. If you go into a relationship knowing that your significant other is a horny bastard/ette, then you should expect them to want sex from you often, especially if you want your relationship to be monogamous. This is why you're in a relationship and not just a regular-ass friendship.

The desire for sex is as powerful as a thirst for water, and when you commit to a monogamous relationship you are telling them "I will be your water, I don't want you going to anyone else for a drink". I can completely understand not wanting or not being in the mood every day, but when you make your supposed soulmate wait two weeks.. three weeks.. a month.. you gotta re-examine the relationship and find out whether you're really the right match for each other. You gotta start being that water, or let them find another faucet.

Perhaps the partner withholding the sex is doing so because the 'leading' partner doesn't give them enough attention and pleasure, in which case the withholding partner needs to either talk it over or end it, because it'll only get worse from there. Or, perhaps the partner withholding the sex just has a low sex drive, in which case they'd be better off finding someone with a low sex drive to match theirs so they won't feel stressed or bad about themselves, and so their ex-partner can get back to enjoying sex with someone who can match their drive.

TL;DR -- sex is important in a monogamous relationship and is expected, fuck Feminazis and misandric Traditionalists for calling men "entitled" for wanting something that should be the norm.

Poperiarchy · 2014-07-24T18:10:01+00:00

"One of these days, Alice! Bam! Non consensual sex!"

2014-07-24T22:26:03+00:00

Chivalry is shit.

Stop teaching women to feel entitled to chivalry.

untouchedURL · 2014-07-24T16:21:29+00:00

Here is a non-mobile link: http://mic.com/articles/94722/when-does-a-woman-owe-you-sex-check-this-chart

Sourcecode | How am I doing?

apathos_destroys · 2014-07-24T18:18:58+00:00

This article stretched the truth farther than Lara Croft ' s training bra.

Arakin · 2014-07-24T19:44:03+00:00

Huff post is just ridiculous.

gaviidae · 2014-07-24T21:23:49+00:00

And that's why divorce is so common these days. Marriage is about two people giving themselves to the other. Divorce is about two people putting themselves over the other.

SporkTornado · 2014-07-24T22:49:52+00:00

Women don't owe men anything, and men don't owe women anything.

djwork · 2014-07-24T23:19:50+00:00

If women don't owe men shit, why do they seem to be the source of shit for men with interest?

ctlawguy · 2014-07-25T01:43:11+00:00

Hey kids, if you're frustrated that your partner never wants to have sex with you... you clearly have an entitlement complex and you hate women.

Evidence? We don't need no stinkin' evidence!

"If it's something I want to believe, no evidence is required..."

DoorMattt · 2014-07-25T07:02:25+00:00

Image credit for that sex spreadsheet posted on reddit goes to Buzzfeed..?

pakiswag · 2014-07-25T07:24:03+00:00

LPT: Don't take Huff Post seriously when it comes to social issues.

effectivemagikarp · 2014-07-25T19:18:02+00:00

Hey OP, this isn't the Huffington Post. It's Policy Mic.

foulplay2 · 2014-07-24T18:24:42+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/HVsLOC9.png

The guys in the comments are just...pathetic.

aesopstortoise · 2014-07-24T19:58:20+00:00

Women don't owe you shit, but they will frequently give it to you anyway, doubtless in a spirit of inter-gender generosity.

Title	Huff Post commits slippery slope, implies that complaining about wives leads to raping wives.
Author	ChrisRich81
Upvotes	277
Comments	73
Date	July 24, 2014 4:20 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/2bltp9/huff-post-commits-slippery-slope-implies-that-/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/huff-post-commits-slippery-slope-implies-that.1619526 https://theredarchive.com/post/1619526

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